Hocken and Hunken Part 55

"--Whose handling of his frail craft to-day was of a natur' to surprise and delight all beholders."

At this point Mr Willett, the Treasurer, who had for some seconds been staring at the speaker with glazed uncertain eye, interrupted in a voice thick with liquor--

"The question is, Who wants me?"

"n.o.body, you d--d old fool!" snapped the Hon. Secretary. "Can't you see Cap'n Hocken is makin' a speech?"

"_I_ see," answered Mr Willett with drunken deliberation, "and, what's more, I don't think much of it. . . . Gentlemen over there 'pears t'

agree with me," he added: for from the rear of the group a scornful laugh had endorsed his criticism.

"Any one can tell what _hasn't_ agreed with you this mornin'," retorted the Hon. Secretary, still more angrily. "Go home, and--"

But Cai had lifted a hand. "No quarrelling, please!" he commanded, and resumed, "As I was sayin', ladies and gentlemen--or as I was about to say--the handlin' of a small boat demands certain gifts or, er, qualities; and these gifts and, er, qualities bein' the gifts and h'm qualities what made England such as we see her to-day,--a sea-farin'

nation an' foremost at that,--it follows that we cannot despise them if we wish her to occupy the same position in the futur'--which to my mind is education in a nutsh.e.l.l."

Again the scornful laugh echoed from the back of the crowd, and this time Cai knew the voice. It stung him the more sharply, as in a flash he recollected that the phrase "education in a nutsh.e.l.l" belonged properly to a later paragraph, and in his flurry he had dragged it in prematurely. His audience applauded, but Cai swung about in wrath.

"My remarks," said he, "don't seem to commend themselves to one o' my hearers. But I'm talkin' now on a subjec' about which I know som'at,-- not about _ploughin'_."

The thrust was admirably delivered,--the more adroitly in that, on the edge of delivering it, he had paused with a self-depreciatory smile.

Its point was taken up on the instant. The audience on deck sent up a roar of laughter: and the roar spread and travelled away from the ship in a widening circle as from boat to boat the shrewd hit was reported.

Distant explosions of mirth were still greeting it, when Cai, finding voice again, and wisely cutting out his prepared peroration, concluded as follows:--

"Any way, friends and naybours, I can wind up with something as'll commend itself to everybody: and that is by wishin' success to Pa.s.sage Regatta, and askin' ye to give three cheers for Mrs Bosenna.

Hip--hip--"

"Hoo-ray! hoo-ray! hoo-ray!" The cheers were given with a will and pa.s.sed down the river in rolling echoes. But before the last echo died away--while Mrs Bosenna smiled her acknowledgment--as the band formed up for "G.o.d Save the Queen"--as they lifted their instruments and the bandmaster tapped the music-stand with his baton,--at the top of his voice 'Bias delivered his counter-stroke.

"And one more for Peter Benny!"

There was a momentary hush, and then--for Troy's sense of humour is impartial, and everyone knew from what source Captain Hocken derived his public eloquence--the air was rent with shout upon shout of merriment.

Even the band caught the contagion. The drummer drew a long applausive rattle from his side-drum; the trombone player sawing the air with his instrument, as with a fret-saw, evoked noises not to be described.

In the midst of this general mirth--while Cai stood his ground, red to the ears, and Mrs Bosenna plucked nervously at the ta.s.sel of her sunshade--'Bias came thrusting forward, shouldering his way through the press. But 'Bias's face reflected none of the mirth he had awakened.

"I mayn't know much about ploughin', Cai Hocken--" he began.

"Ah? Good day, Captain Hunken!" interposed Mrs Bosenna.

"Good-day to you, ma'am." He raised his hat without answering her smile. Then, with a gesture that dismissed the tactful interruption, "I mayn't know much about ploughin', though it sticks in my mind that as between us the judges handed me the stakes, even at _that_. But at handlin' a boat--one o' these here dingheys if you will, an' if you care to make good your words--"

"What _was_ my words?"

"Oh, I beg pardon." 'Bias corrected himself with a snort of contempt.

"'Peter Benny's words,' maybe I should have said: but 'education in a nutsh.e.l.l' was the expression."

"I'll take you up--when and where you please, and for any money,"

Cai challenged, white to the lips and shaking with rage.

"A five-pound note, if you will."

"As you please. . . . I haven't five pound here, upon me."

"Nor I, as it happens. But here's a sovereign for earnest."

"Here's another to cover it, anyway. Who'll hold the stakes? . . .

Will you, ma'am?" Cai appealed to Mrs Bosenna.

"Certainly not," she answered, tapping the deck angrily with the ferrule of her sunshade. "And I wonder how you two can behave so foolish, before folks."

But for the moment they were past her control.

"Here . . . Pam! Pam will do, eh?"

"Well as another."

"Right. Here Pam, take hold o' this sovereign and keep it careful!"

"Mine too. . . . That makes the wager, eh?"

"For five pounds?"

"Five pounds. Right.

"Boats?"

"I don't care. Our own two, or draw lots for any two here, as you please."

"But--gentlemen!" interposed the Hon. Secretary.

"Now, don't you start interferin'"--Bias turned on him sullenly.

"Else you might chance to get what you don't like."

"Oh, they're mad!" wailed Mrs Bosenna, and Dinah was heard to murmur, "You've pushed' em too far, mistress: an' don't say as I didn' warn you!"

"I--I was only goin' to suggest, gentlemen," urged the Hon. Secretary, "it bein' already ten minutes past noon, and everybody waitin' for 'G.o.d Save the Queen.'"

"Hullo!" hailed a voice alongside, at the foot of the accommodation table; and Mr Philp's top hat, Mr Philp's deceptively jovial face, Mr Philp's body clad in mourning weeds, climbed successively into view.

"There, naybours!" he announced. "I'm in the nick of time, after all, it seems,--though when I heard the church clock strike twelve it sent my heart into my mouth." He stood and panted.

"Ah! good-day, Mr Philp!" Mrs Bosenna turned, hailing his intervention, and advanced to shake hands.

"Good-day to you, ma'am. Been enjoy in' yourself, I hope?" said Mr Philp, somewhat taken aback by the warmth of her greeting.

"A most successful Regatta . . . don't you agree?"

"I might, ma'am," answered Mr Philp solemnly. "I don't doubt it, ma'am.

But as a matter of fact I have just come from a funeral."