Hobson's Choice: A Lancashire Comedy in Four Acts Part 12

MAGGIE (_producing card and moving down_ L. _to_ ALICE). That's his business card, William Mossop, Practical Boot and Shoe Maker, 39a, Oldfield Road, Salford. William Mossop, Master Bootmaker! That's the man you're privileged to call by his Christian name. Aye, and I'll do more for you than let you call him in his name. You can both of you kiss him for your brother-in-law to be.

WILLIE (_rising_). Nay, Maggie, I'm no great hand at kissing.

(VICKEY _and_ ALICE _are much annoyed_.)

MAGGIE (_dryly_). I've noticed that. A bit of practice will do you no harm. Come along, Vickey.

ALICE (_interposing_). But, Maggie ... a shop of your own--

MAGGIE (_grimly_). I'm waiting, Vickey.

WILLIE. I don't see that you ought to drive her to it, Maggie.

MAGGIE. You hold your hush. (_Crosses_ R. _to_ VICKEY.)

ALICE. But however did you manage it? Where did the capital come from?

MAGGIE. It came. Will, stand still. She's making up her mind to it.

WILLIE. I'd just as lief not put her to the trouble.

MAGGIE. You'll take your proper place in this family, my lad, trouble or no trouble.

VICKEY. I don't see why you should always get your way.

MAGGIE. It's just a habit. Come along now, Vickey, I've a lot to do to-day and you're holding everything back.

VICKEY. It's under protest.

MAGGIE. Protest, but kiss.

(VICKEY _goes to and kisses_ WILL, _who finds he rather likes it.

She moves back_ R., _then goes up to case up_ R. _and starts dusting furiously_.)

Your turn now, Alice.

ALICE. I'll do it if you'll help me with these books, Maggie.

MAGGIE. Books? Father's put you in my place? (_Goes_ L. C.)

ALICE. Yes.

MAGGIE. Then he must take the consequences. Your books aren't my affair.

ALICE. I think you might help me, Maggie.

(VICKEY _glances back at_ WILL.)

MAGGIE. I'm surprised at you, Alice, I really am, after what you've just been told. Exposing your books to a rival shop. You ought to know better. Will's waiting. And you're to kiss him hearty now.

ALICE. Very well. (_She moves_ C. _and kisses_ WILL, _then goes back_ L.)

WILLIE. There's more in kissing nice young women than I thought.

MAGGIE. Don't get too fond of it, my lad. (_She goes to him_.)

ALICE. Well, I hope you're satisfied, Maggie. You've got your way again, and now perhaps you'll tell us if there's anything you want in this shop.

MAGGIE. Eh? Are you trying to sell me something?

ALICE. I'm asking you, what's your business here?

MAGGIE. I've told you once. Will and me's taking a day off to put you in the way of getting wed.

VICKEY (_moving to back of counter_). It looks like things are slow at your new shop if you can walk round in your best clothes on a working day.

WILLIE. It's not a working day with us. It's a wedding-day.

ALICE. You've been married this morning!

MAGGIE. Not us. (_Goes to_ R.) I'll have my sisters there when I get wed. It's at one o'clock at St. Philip's. (_Sits_ R.)

VICKEY. But we can't leave the shop to come.

MAGGIE. Why not? Is trade so brisk?

VICKEY. No, but--

(WILLIE _sits in front of counter_.)

MAGGIE. Not so much high-cla.s.s trade doing with you, eh?

ALICE. I don't see how you knew.

MAGGIE. I'm good at guessing. You'll not miss owt by coming with us to church, and we'll expect you at home to-night for a wedding-spread.

VICKEY. It's asking us to approve.

MAGGIE. You have approved. You've kissed the bridegroom and you'll go along with us. Father's safe where he is. (_Rises and crosses_ L.)

ALICE. And the shop?

MAGGIE. Tubby can see to the shop. And that reminds me. You _can_ sell me something. There are some rings in that drawer there, Vickey.

VICKEY. Bra.s.s rings?

MAGGIE. Yes. I want one. That's the size. (_She holds up her wedding-ring finger and moves to the counter_.)

VICKEY. That! But you're not taking it for--