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Ethel knit her brows.
"He'll stand a good deal," she answered, "when once I know where I stand myself."
"In the meantime you'd better leave me alone."
The two parted in affable fashion.
"There," thought Ethel in relief. "I got through that rather nicely. I needn't go again, of course."
She had started out for a brisk walk, and she drew a deep breath of the frosty air. The air in New York was often so--gay! And Mrs. Grewe had given her such a feeling of independence. She saw a man turn and look at her--the beast! But she smiled as she hurried on toward the Park.
Still, the brief visit had been rather daring. Joe would not have liked it at all. He would have been perfectly furious!
"However!" She walked briskly on. "What's the difference between Mrs.
Grewe and his own dear friend, f.a.n.n.y Carr?" she asked. "Nothing whatever--except that f.a.n.n.y, so far as we know, has taken the trouble with each man to have a wedding and a divorce. The only other difference is that f.a.n.n.y has no taste at all, while Mrs. Grewe has heaps of it! And she reads things--even Shaw; and she likes good music, too. She is going tonight to 'Salome.'" . . . For a moment Ethel let her mind run over all the operas she herself was going to hear, and the concerts, and the plays she would see and the dinners she would go to, the talks in which she would take part. She could see herself--just scintillating! . . . With a jerk she came back to Mrs. Grewe. "Oh, I guess it isn't very defiling to turn to her from f.a.n.n.y Carr! I'll do as I please!" she impatiently thought.
Still, it had been rather daring. It fitted in exactly with several talks she had had of late with Dwight, her music teacher: talks in which each one of them had taken rather a challenging tone that had grown distinctly intimate. One night when Joe was out of town she had gone with Dwight to the opera. And she had not mentioned it to Joe--not that she felt guilty at all, she had simply dropped it out of her mind. In love with her husband? Yes, indeed. And let Dwight or any other man try to go the least bit too far--"As f.a.n.n.y doubtless does with Joe," she suddenly added to herself. For a moment she walked viciously. Then she thought again of Dwight. He had told her she really had voice enough with which to go on the stage if she chose.
"Though I hope you won't," he had added.
"Why not?" she had asked. In reply he had hinted at perils that made it all sound rather thrilling.
"Joe wouldn't like it," Dwight had said.
"I might sing in concerts--"
"Joe wouldn't like it."
"Oh, bother Joe!"
Dwight had smiled a bit. "I wonder what you will do," he had said, "if Joe flivvers!"
"If he what?"
"Flivvers--drops back and makes money--turns to those other friends of his."
"He won't do that." But her voice had been tense, for the intimate feeling in Dwight's tone had made her a bit uneasy.
"Well," he had told her in a low voice, "I'm a friend of Joe's, you know, and I don't propose to play the cad. But if you and Joe ever should have a break--don't drop me, too. Do you understand?"
She had hesitated a moment upon just how to answer. Her heart had pounded rapidly.
"That isn't going to happen," she had told him gravely.
"Sure of that?"
"Yes, and you would be--if you understood me better."
"How?"
"I'm in love with that husband of mine for life," she had informed him impressively.
"You're very old-fashioned," he had smiled.
"Not at all!"
"Suppose I understand you better than you do yourself?"
She had glanced at him, seen the gleam in his eyes as he had drawn closer. And then very suddenly she had found it hard to breathe. What to say to stop him?
"At this moment," she had nearly gasped, "you appear to me so very--fat!"
That had bowled him over--naturally! In the next few moments the atmosphere had become chilly and depressed, and with a sudden rush of shame the certainty had grown upon her that she had made a fool of herself, that he had meant to do nothing at all. And from blushing furiously she had turned a little white, and had said to him:
"Please forgive me. I didn't mean that. I was--just a silly fool.
Let's go on with my lesson."
"Now that I've learned mine, you mean."
And then regaining control of herself she had turned upon him quickly:
"Oh, be sensible, for goodness' sake! How are you and I to be friends if you act like this, you silly boy? You ought to be ashamed of yourself!"
So she had got out of that all right, and had felt tremendously relieved. It was not only that she liked the man, he was besides her only hope, the one who could bring friends to her. "Women friends!
That's what I need!" All this was so unsafe at times. Her husband's business, his two sides, f.a.n.n.y Carr and her scheming, Dwight and his blue, twinkling eyes, Mrs. Grewe and her smiling good-fellowship--were all very nice and exciting. But safe? Oh, by no means!
But today as Ethel walked on through the Park, she smiled to herself expectantly. For Dwight had promised the next week to bring Sally Crothers to see her. "If only I can get on with her! She's my kind--I know she is--she's just exactly what I want. I don't want to be anything wild--not Mrs. Grewe nor f.a.n.n.y Carr. I want to be myself, that's all, and happy with my husband!"
She turned abruptly toward her home. "In the meantime I am going back to give the baby his bath," she thought. She glanced at the watch on her gloved wrist. And a man who looked like a detective, or a villain in the "movies," looked after her in an envious way.
"Who's her date with!" he wondered.
CHAPTER XXI
The days dragged by. She had anxious times. What would Sally Crothers be like? "And what in the world will she think of me? If she doesn't like me--very much--the very first time, I'll have lost my chance. For she's busy, her life is full of things--planning gardens and running about with her friends. And she won't so much as bother her head!"
Ethel felt a dismal sinking. In vain she strove to a.s.sure herself.
Joe, Nourse and then Dwight, one after the other, had all bowed down before her. "Oh, that was very simple!" she thought. "They're only men!" It would be a woman this time, and one of the most brilliant kind.
"What a dull little fool she'll find me, in spite of all I do or say!"
It would be all the more difficult because Mrs. Crothers was older.
"That will count against me. No doubt she's beginning to show her age; and I'm young, and she doesn't want any young things to come snooping about her husband! Then there's Amy and the quarrel they had, and she'll put me and Amy in the same cla.s.s! I'll have all that to fight against!" The idea of settling everything all in one brief encounter.
Oh, it was too maddening!
"Now, Ethel Lanier, for goodness' sake stop fidgeting like a nervous old maid! This isn't the minister coming to call!"
On the day before the expected call, Ethel was just on the point of going out for the afternoon to do some shopping and shake off these silly fears, when the telephone rang and a few moments later the maid came in and told her there was a visitor downstairs. In an instant with a rush of excitement Ethel knew it was Sally at last. Dwight, in his easy, careless way, had mixed his dates and was bringing Sally a day ahead! How stupid of him! "What have I on?"