Hints for Lovers Part 21

Modesty is the exhalation of the soul: at once it enhances, as it refines, the potency of beauty. Nay more,

The sacrosanct aureole of modesty beautifies all it surrounds: though it diviner haze imperfection there is none. So,

Given a redolent balm, and the lowliest herb becomes treasured and precious. And

Each human soul has its own individual essence;

What folly were the violet to envy the rose! Since

Beauty is much, and grace is much, and mien and demeanor and wit; but a prepotent and psychic essence there is transcending the power of these.

And,

As the suave and subtle essence is not distinct from, but springs from, the tangible and numerable petals, so the spirit perceives that its fleshy vesture is not a thing apart, to be donned or doffed at will, to b e contemned or left out of regards, but indeed at integral and inseparable portion of itself; for

In the very woof and warp of flesh, sprit is immanent and enmeshed.

Indeed--though in a mystic sense--

Vesture and wearer are mutually one. And yet

Love ever essays the task of seeking out the psychic wearer beneath the corporeal vesture--often with plaintive strife.

When seeker and sought make a mutual search--the starkest strife is condoned. But alack!

The mystic unity of the human soul is never wholly divulged--not even to love--not even to love.

VIII. On Courtship

"Un amant fait la court ou s'attache son coeur".

--Moliere

A woman really in love and sure of her lover delights in toying with a sort of coquetry of love; as if it pleased her to try to win over again that the winning of which gave so exquisite a pleasure. And perhaps

The coquetry of love is the surest test of an unquestionable love. For

When possession can afford to play at pursuit, this but proves possession complete. Sometimes

An a.s.sumed love will resort to the pretty tricks of a real one, in order to a.s.sure its object--or to re-a.s.sure itself.

Surrender after a protracted siege has its advantages. At all events both M and N can look back to more demi-semi happy incidents when the courtship has been long.

Happy that couple can laugh over the incidents of courtship afterwards.

'T is a portent of impending ill if they cannot.

Half-heartedness in courtship is not only suicidal, it is murderous. On the other hand, remember that

In courtship there are various and varying stages. But there is always the home-gallop. Remember, too, that

What is suitable at one stage of courtship is ruinous at another. And

It is only the old whip who knows when to push the pace:

In courtship to force the running is hazardous. Though we win, the victory loses its sweets. And

In courtship, men too often ride on the snaffle; in matrimony, too often on the curb.

Courtship asks for cash payment. Matrimony has often to allow unlimited credit. Insolvency is not unknown.

In courtship, all auxiliaries but the rival. No one will impede a lover save another lover.

In the presence of a woman, man is by nature a diffident animal. The women who recognize this are often the most successful. Indeed,

Many are the refined and gentle women who in after life regret that they did not more openly cope with their less delicately-minded sisters.

Nevertheless,

Nothing is more astonishing than a woman's tact in encouraging a man.

In courtship modulated and musical tones count for much. Who with harsh speech would a.s.sail a lady's ear?

No woman thinks she can be wooed too often. And

Few women can forgo an opportunity to fascinate.

In courtship the woman is the whole world to the man; in matrimony the man is the whole world to the woman.

In courtship the slightest suspicion of condescension is fatal. For

True love is a greater leveler than anarchy.