Her Name In The Sky Part 31

"I don't care who you were trying to get at," Hannah says. "What you did was disgusting."

"I'm trying to be nice to you."

"I don't need you to be nice to me. You're a jealous snake."

Michele's eyes thin to slits. "Remember who ultimately betrayed you, Hannah. It wasn't me. It was her. It was your friends. They saw something they didn't like and they left you."

"That's not true."

"Isn't it, though?"

"You're a piece of s.h.i.t," Hannah says. "You're a hateful, bitter piece of s.h.i.t, and whatever I have left to hope for, it's not your friendship."

She storms out of the gymnasium while Michele glowers behind her. She makes her way down empty hallways, listening to the cla.s.srooms full of freshmen, soph.o.m.ores, and juniors, pausing outside Ms. Carpenter's room to see if her energy still lingers around its doorway.

She wanders down the senior hallway and counts her friends' lockers as she pa.s.ses. 142-Luke's. 151-her own. 159-Baker's. 174-Clay's. 203-Wally's.

She stops at the end of the hallway and peers through the empty s.p.a.ce between the two rows of burgundy lockers. She can see the echoes of herself and her friends in front of each section of the lockers, their Oxford shirts sticking out of their skirts or khakis, their shoes scuffing against the tiled floor, their laughs reverberating off these sacred walls.

I don't want to hate this place.

Joanie approaches her again that evening. "I'm gonna go to Clay's party," she says.

"Are you sure?"

"Luke leaves for Alabama on Monday. And I probably won't get a chance to talk to him at graduation." She pauses. "This might be my last chance to talk to him."

Hannah nods. "Good luck. I hope it works out."

"Han-will you please go with me?"

"No."

Joanie rubs her left elbow. She stares hard at the grandfather clock in the family room. "Hannah..." she says, her voice small, "I need you to go with me. Please. We only have to go for ten minutes. I just have to tell him that I love him."

Hannah sighs. "I can't, Joanie."

"No one has to know you're there. Even if they do, it's not like they'll say anything. Please, Hannah. I mean, isn't there a part of you that wants to go anyway?"

"No," Hannah lies.

Joanie rubs her elbow harder. "Alright," she says, her voice only half-there. "I'll just try to go see him tomorrow instead."

Hannah sighs into the pages of her book. She presses her hands to her eyes. "Fine," she mutters, her heart pumping faster. "Fine. I'll go with you."

Joanie's eyes shine with grat.i.tude when Hannah gets off the couch. They drive to Clay's house in silence.

Chapter Fourteen: The Fall.

There's music blaring from a set of speakers mounted on the outdoor bar. Two long card tables have been set up at the top of the lawn, covered with plastic red cups and beer cans, and dozens of Hannah's cla.s.smates crowd around them, watching as the players shoot bone-white ping pong b.a.l.l.s back and forth into each other's cups. Beyond them, swarms of people cover the backyard, all of them dressed alike in Polo b.u.t.ton-downs and khaki shorts, in sundresses and pearl earrings, their sandaled feet planted on the summer green gra.s.s and their hands cupping Natty Light cans.

Clay has lit the torches along the perimeter of the backyard, just like he did on Mardi Gras. The torches blaze with primitive fire, adding a ritualistic feel to this final high school party. The old swing set sits motionless at the back of the yard, the worn away wooden beams and rusted metal chains speaking eerily to Hannah, as if from some haunted place she knew a long time ago, though she sat upon the swings just last month with Wally.

The rest of the property is shrouded in darkness, but Hannah can sense the silent majesty of the age-old trees reaching into the sky in the woods below the backyard. The trees peer out over the party like uninvited guests, their status made clear by the rickety old fence that runs along the edge of the backyard, protecting these backyard partiers from falling down the hill into the trees' thick dark ma.s.s.

"Clay's looking at us," Joanie says, and Hannah turns to see Clay eyeing them from across the yard, his expression unreadable.

"Maybe he wants us to leave."

Clay takes a long sip from his beer can, his gaze still on Hannah. Then he shifts his body away and responds to one of the players at the beer pong table, who shoves the ball into Clay's palm and claps him on the arm. Clay grins and moves closer to the table, raising his arms in the air and shouting something that makes everyone around him laugh.

"Guess he doesn't care," Joanie says.

"I want to leave," Hannah says nervously.

"Just help me find Luke first, okay?"

They walk silently around the perimeter of the party, leaving several feet between themselves and everyone else. Joanie carries a cup of vodka-lemonade but Hannah walks empty-handed, her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes darting all over the backyard. A few of her cla.s.smates make eye contact with her, some of them smiling politely or nodding uncomfortably, but most people ignore her.

At last they find Luke. He stands in a small circle of guys in the back right corner of the yard, his curls catching the light off the torches. As Hannah and Joanie approach him, Hannah recognizes Wally standing across from him.

"s.h.i.t," she whispers. "I'd better hang back. Go ahead. Do your thing."

Joanie clears her throat and hands Hannah her drink. She straightens her back and walks confidently up to Luke, her hair now carrying the torches' light too. The circle of guys stops talking as she approaches, and Luke turns just a fraction of an inch to face her. Wally's eyes land on the two of them-his eyes look thoughtful-before flitting over to meet Hannah's. Hannah pulls her lips together and nods her head very slowly, keeping her eyes on him. He gives a quick jerk of the head in response, then looks down to his beer.

Joanie has spoken to Luke for less than thirty seconds when the music abruptly cuts off and there's a commotion at the front of the yard. Clay has jumped up onto the short brick wall that encloses the outdoor bar, and even from her spot at the very back of the yard, Hannah can see him, his tall, muscular form towering over his party guests, his smile huge and easy.

"Thank you for coming!" he shouts, and the partygoers all around the yard holler and cheer and raise their beer cans and plastic cups into the night. Luke, Joanie, Wally, and the rest of their circle stand in silence, waiting to see what Clay wants to say.

"It's just after midnight," Clay continues, his deep voice spilling out over the yard, "which means we've officially finished our last ever day as high school students-yeah, yeah, I know!-but anyway, I'm drunk and I just wanted to say that St. Mary's Cla.s.s of 2012 is the best d.a.m.n cla.s.s that school has ever had, and I'm really glad I was a part of it with all of y'all!"

A deafening cheer goes up through the yard. People yell and whistle and shout Clay's name, and in the back right corner of the yard, Hannah claps tepidly along with Luke, Joanie, and Wally.

"Before I turn the music back on and get totally wasted," Clay says, "I just need to thank my girlfriend for helping to set this whole thing up. Where are you, Bake?"

A collective cheer goes up at the sound of Baker's name. Clay surveys the yard, his tree-dark hair falling onto his sweaty forehead, until he spots her, for he grins and extends his hand chivalrously into the crowd. Hannah squints through the ma.s.s of people in front of her, but she can't see Baker's face.

"Baker, you are the best," Clay says, slurring the last word. "And we all know what a hard time you've had lately with some of this nasty bulls.h.i.t that's been going on, but we all love you!"

An even bigger cheer goes up around the yard, a cheer that lasts for a full minute, with whistles and whooping and drunken shouts of "Yeahhhhhh!" Hannah's stomach goes cold. She has a hard time swallowing. She feels Joanie's eyes on her, and when she turns, almost against her will, to make eye contact, she finds that not only is Joanie watching her, but Luke and Wally are, too.

He's an a.s.shole, Joanie mouths.

Hannah bites her teeth together. She feels a growing desperation inside of her, like her heart is drowning and doesn't know where to reach.

"Everyone give Baker a drink tonight!" Clay shouts from the front of the party.

"I'm gonna go," Hannah mouths to Joanie, and then she drops Joanie's vodka drink on the gra.s.s and turns to walk along the perimeter of the yard.

"Hannah, wait!" Joanie says sharply, and Hannah hears racing footsteps behind her and feels Joanie's grip on her arm. "Let me go with you, okay?"

They've walked five paces when they hear another commotion. "Wait, wait, what?" Clay shouts from his post on the brick wall. "What are you saying?"

Someone at the front of the crowd is talking, but the distance and the crowd m.u.f.fle their words. Hannah and Joanie stop walking, and Hannah experiences an inexplicable feeling of dread.

"Are you f.u.c.king kidding me?" Clay says, his voice hoa.r.s.e, his face fallen.

"What's going on?" someone shouts.

Hannah stands still as Clay looks out over the yard, his face white underneath the lights from the deck. He drops his drink as his arms fall to his sides. "We lost the Diocesan Cup."

"What?"

"What?"

"No!"

The backyard is suddenly riotous, with people yelling all at once, their cacophonous voices sc.r.a.ping against the night heat. "Hold on!" Clay says, throwing his arms down as if trying to slam a car trunk.

"What happened?" someone shouts.

Clay looks down to the same spot in the crowd, and a suffocating silence blankets the night. Hannah strains her ears to hear the words of the person talking.

"We can't hear back here!" one of the guys standing near Luke says.

Clay raises his head again. There's a murderous look on his face.

"Kasey just got a text from her friend whose mom works at the diocese office," he says, his voice cutting over the backyard. "They're rescinding the Cup. They're awarding it to Mount Sinai instead."

"What?"

"They can't do that!"

"Why?!"

Clay's jaw clenches. He stands completely still, his shoulders tight and his fists balled at his sides. Under the glare of the deck lights, his eyes flicker out to the very back of the yard, searching for something. Hannah's chest surges with fear.

"You know why," he says, his voice deadly.

There is one packed second of silence, and Hannah has the sensation of tumbling over a ledge, her heart in her throat and her body out of her control.

Then, noise. Roaring, angry noise.

"We need to go," Joanie says, her eyes frantic. She pushes Hannah forward, causing them both to trip in their haste to get out of the backyard.

The next thing Hannah knows, Wally is at her side, helping her up, his gla.s.ses reflecting fire. "It's okay," he says, his voice as steady as always. "They're not gonna do anything."

"I need to get out of here," Hannah pants.

"We'll come with you," someone else says, and Hannah looks behind her to see Luke at Joanie's side.

"Hey, what's going on back there?" Clay's angry drunken voice shouts, and in her peripheral vision, Hannah sees dark figures turn their heads toward her.

"Come on," she says, leading the way forward along the torch-lit perimeter.

"Yeah, that's right, leave!" Clay shouts. "We don't need your bulls.h.i.t anymore!"

"Shut up!" Wally yells, his voice grating on Hannah's ears.

"Get the f.u.c.k out of here!" Clay shouts back, and then the sea of people between them starts to shout, too, their voices yelling indecipherable things, and Joanie starts to shout back at them, screaming herself hoa.r.s.e, catapulting profanities into the air.

And then Wally starts yelling at Clay.

"You're a spineless a.s.shole!" Wally roars. "You're a self-obsessed p.r.i.c.k who never gave a s.h.i.t about his friends!"

"You f.u.c.king-!"

Then Clay's moving off the wall, jumping down into the crowd, storming through the ma.s.s of people until he's within feet of Hannah and the others. "What's your problem, huh?" he says, shoving Wally in the chest.

"Back off, man!" Wally shouts, pushing him back. "You crossed the line!"

"Are you kidding me?!" Clay snarls, his nostrils flaring and his face burning red. "Open your eyes, man! She crossed the line! She crossed all of us and she used you and now she's making you and our whole school look like f.u.c.king idiots!"

Wally lunges, his sprinter's legs propelling him forward, and throws a solid punch at Clay's jaw. Clay stumbles backwards into the crowd of people, his face registering shock and pain. He lets out a primal roar before launching himself at Wally and throwing his own punch.

Then they're both throwing punches, and Hannah ducks down to the ground with them, begging Wally to stop, begging Clay to stop, and one of their hands goes awry and smacks her in the face, and she stands up, dazed, her left cheek smarting, the shouts of people all around her. More people jump into the brawl-Luke barrels in and tries to pull Clay and Wally apart, and then Jackson drops down to the ground and hits Wally, and then Luke hits Jackson until Bradford hits Luke- "Way to go, H'Eaden," says a venomous voice, and Hannah turns to see Michele and her friends glaring at her. "I guess it's not enough to get Carpenter fired and cost us the Cup, right, I mean now you've gotta pit the whole school against each other-"

"I had nothing to do with this," Hannah says, tears springing into her eyes.

"Bullc.r.a.p you didn't," Michele says, stepping nearer to her. "Everything was normal until you started in with your c.r.a.p-"

But then Hannah doesn't hear what Michele has to say anymore, because Baker appears in the circle of onlookers, her eyes terrified as she looks down at Clay, Wally, Luke, and the other boys on the ground. Hannah's heart jumps into her throat, and as she stares across the circle at Baker, Baker looks up and meets her eyes, and there's something in them that Hannah recognizes: there's something in them that tells Hannah nothing is finished- "Hey!" Michele shouts, pushing Hannah backward. "Give it up! Stop l.u.s.ting after her!"

"Don't push me!"

"If anyone deserves to be hurt tonight, it's you!"

Below them, the fight finally breaks up, with multiple guys holding Wally, Clay, and Luke apart from each other. Hannah looks at the blood smeared across their mouths and down their shirts, at Wally's broken gla.s.ses hanging off his face, at Joanie's horrified expression as she rushes to tend to Luke, but before Hannah can go to help them, something smacks against her right cheek with the force of a wooden plank- "How's that feel?" Michele says, retracting her hand.

Hannah's whole face is stinging now, her throat full of tears. Across the circle, Baker looks at her with anguished eyes, her mouth open on a silent cry, but she does not move.