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'Pish!' said Mr. Levison; 'ten per cent.! Why! it is giving away the money. Why! that's the raw, Captin. With this here new bill annuities is nothink. Me and my pardner don't do no annuities now. It's giving money away; and all this here money locked up; and all to sarve you.'
'Well; you will not help me,' said Ferdinand, rising.
'Do you raly want fifteen hundred?' asked Mr. Levison.
'By Jove, I do.'
'Well now, Captin, when is this marriage to come off?'
'Have I not told you a thousand times, and Morris too, that my cousin is not to marry until one year has pa.s.sed since my grandfather's death? It is barely a year. But of course, at this moment, of all others, I cannot afford to be short.'
'Very true, Captin; and we are the men to sarve you, if we could. But we cannot. Never was such times for money; there is no seeing it. However, we will do what we can. Things is going very bad at Malta, and that's the truth. There's that young Catchimwhocan, we are in with him wery deep; and now he has left the Fusiliers and got into Parliament, he don't care this for us. If he would only pay us, you should have the money; so help me, you should.'
'But he won't pay you,' said Ferdinand. 'What can you do?'
'Why, I have a friend,' said Mr. Levison, 'who I know has got three hundred pound at his bankers, and he might lend it us; but we shall have to pay for it.'
'I suppose so,' said Ferdinand. 'Well, three hundred.'
'I have not got a shilling myself,' said Mr. Levison. 'Young Touchemup left us in the lurch yesterday for 750L., so help me, and never gave us no notice. Now, you are a gentleman, Captin; you never pay, but you always give us notice.'
Ferdinand could not help smiling at Mr. Levison's idea of a gentleman.
'Well, what else can you do?'
'Why, there is two hundred coming in to-morrow,' said Mr. Levison; 'I can depend on that.'
'Well, that is five.'
'And you want fifteen hundred,' said Mr. Levison. 'Well, me and my pardner always like to sarve you, and it is very awkward certainly for you to want money at this moment. But if you want to buy jewels, I can get you any credit you like, you know.'
'We will talk of that by and by,' said Ferdinand.
'Fifteen hundred pound!' e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed Mr. Levison. 'Well, I suppose we must make it 700L. somehow or other, and you must take the rest in coals.'
'Oh, by Jove, Levison, that is too bad.'
'I don't see no other way,' said Mr. Levison, rather doggedly.
'But, d.a.m.n it, my good fellow, my dear Levison, what the deuce am I to do with 800L. worth of coals?'
'Lord! My dear Captin, 800L. worth of coals is a mere nothink. With your connection, you will get rid of them in a morning. All you have got to do, you know, is to give your friends an order on us, and we will let you have cash at a little discount.'
'Then you can let me have the cash now at a little discount, or even a great; I cannot get rid of 800L. worth of coals.'
'Why, 'tayn't four hundred chaldron, Captin,' rejoined Mr. Levison.
'Three or four friends would do the thing. Why, Baron Squash takes ten thousand chaldron of us every year; but he has such a knack, he gits the Clubs to take them.'
'Baron Squash, indeed! Do you know whom you are talking to, Mr. Levison?
Do you think that I am going to turn into a coal merchant? your working partner, by Jove! No, sir; give me the 700L., without the coals, and charge what interest you please.' 'We could not do it, Captin.
'Tayn't our way.' 'I ask you once more, Mr. Levison, will you let me have the money, or will you not?'
'Now, Captin, don't be so high and mighty! 'Tayn't the way to do business. Me and my pardner wish to sarve you; we does indeed. And if a hundred pound will be of any use to you, you shall have it on your acceptance; and we won't be curious about any name that draws; we won't indeed.'
'Well, Mr. Levison,' said Ferdinand, rising, 'I see we can do nothing to-day. The hundred pounds would be of no use to me. I will think over your proposition. Good morning to you.'
'Ah, do!' said Mr. Levison, bowing and opening the door, 'do, Captin; we wish to sarve you, we does indeed. See how we behave about that arrears.
Think of the coals; now do. Now for a bargin; come! Come, Captin, I dare say now you could get us the business of the Junior Sarvice Club; and then you shall have the seven hundred on your acceptance for three months, at two shillings in the pound; come!'
CHAPTER XI.
_In Which Captain Armine Unexpectedly Resumes His Acquaintance with Lord Catchimwhocan, Who Introduces Him to Mr. Bond Sharpe_.
FERDINAND quitted his kind friend Mr. Levison in no very amiable mood; but just as he was leaving the house, a cabriolet, beautifully painted, of a brilliant green colour picked out with a somewhat cream-coloured white, and drawn by a showy Holstein horse of tawny tint, with a flowing and milk-white tail and mane, and caparisoned in harness almost as precious as Mr. Levison's sideboard, dashed up to the door.
'Armine, by Jove!' exclaimed the driver, with great cordiality.
'Ah! Catch, is it you?' said Ferdinand. 'What! have you been here?'
said Lord Catchimwhocan. 'At the old work, eh? Is "me and my pardner"
troublesome? for your countenance is not very radiant.'
'By Jove, old fellow!' said Ferdinand, in a depressed tone, 'I am in a sc.r.a.pe, and also in a rage. Nothing is to be done here.'
'Never mind,' said his lordship; 'keep up your spirits, jump into my cab, and we will see how we can carry on the war. I am only going to speak one word to "me and my pardner."'
So saying, his lordship skipped into the house as gay as a lark, although he had a bill for a good round sum about to be dishonoured in the course of a few hours.
'Well, my dear Armine,' he resumed, when he reappeared and took the reins; 'now as I drive along, tell me all about it; for if there be a man in the world whom I should like to "sarve," it is thyself, my n.o.ble Ferdinand.'
With this encouragement, Captain Armine was not long in pouring his cares into a congenial bosom.
'I know the man to "sarve" you,' said Catchimwhocan.
'The fact is, these fellows here are regular old-fashioned humbugs. The only idea they have is money, money. They have no enlightened notions.
I will introduce you to a regular trump; and if he does not do our business, I am much mistaken. Courage, old fellow! How do you like this start?'
'Deuced neat. By-the-bye, Catch, my boy, you are going it rather, I see.'
'To be sure. I have always told you there is a certain system in affairs which ever prevents men being floored. No fellow is ever dished who has any connection. What man that ever had his run was really ever fairly put _hors de combat_, unless he was some one who ought never to have entered the arena, blazing away without any set, making himself a d.a.m.ned fool and everybody his enemy. So long as a man bustles about and is in a good set, something always turns up. I got into Parliament, you see; and you, you are going to be married.'
All this time the cabriolet was dashing down Regent-street, twisting through the Quadrant, whirling along Pall Mall, until it finally entered Cleveland-row, and stopped before a newly painted, newly pointed, and exceedingly compact mansion, the long bra.s.s knocker of whose dark green door sounded beneath the practised touch of his lordship's tiger. Even the tawny Holstein horse, with the white flowing mane, seemed conscious of the locality, and stopped before the accustomed resting-place in the most natural manner imaginable. A tall serving-man, well-powdered, and in a dark and well-appointed livery, immediately appeared.
'At home?' enquired Lord Catchimwhocan, with a peculiarly confidential expression.
'To you, my lord,' responded the attendant.