Henrietta Temple Part 31

'For G.o.d's sake, Ferdinand, be calm,' exclaimed Lady Armine. 'This is most unfortunate. Dear, dear Katherine, but she has such a heart! All the women have in our family, and none of the men, 'tis so odd. Mr.

Glas...o...b..ry, water if you please, that gla.s.s of water; sal volatile; where is the sal volatile? My own, own Katherine, pray, pray restrain yourself! Ferdinand is here; remember, Ferdinand is here, and he will soon be well; soon quite well. Believe me, he is already quite another thing. There, drink that, darling, drink that. You are better now?'

'I am so foolish,' said Miss Grandison, in a mournful voice. 'I never can pardon myself for this. Let me go.'

Glas...o...b..ry bore her out of the room; Lady Armine turned to her son.

He was lying back in his chair, his hands covering his eyes. The mother stole gently to him, and wiped tenderly his brow, on which hung the light drops of perspiration, occasioned by his recent exertion.

'We have done too much, my own dear Ferdinand. Yet who could have expected that dear girl would have been so affected? Glas...o...b..ry was indeed right in preventing you so long from meeting. And yet it is a blessing to see that she has so fond a heart. You are fortunate, my Ferdinand: you will indeed be happy with her.'

Ferdinand groaned.

'I shall never be happy,' he murmured.

'Never happy, my Ferdinand! Oh! you must not be so low-spirited. Think how much better you are; think, my Ferdinand, what a change there is for the better. You will soon be well, dearest, and then, my love, you know you cannot help being happy.'

'Mother,' said Ferdinand, 'you are deceived; you are all deceived: I--I------'

'No! Ferdinand, indeed we are not. I am confident, and I praise G.o.d for it, that you are getting better every day. But you have done too much, that is the truth. I will leave you now, love, and send the nurse, for my presence excites you. Try to sleep, love.' And Lady Armine rang the bell, and quitted the room.

CHAPTER XIV.

_In Which Some Light Is Thrown upon Some Circ.u.mstances Which Were Before Rather Mysterious_.

LADY ARMINE now proposed that the family should meet in Ferdinand's room after dinner; but Glas...o...b..ry, whose opinion on most subjects generally prevailed, scarcely approved of this suggestion. It was therefore but once acted upon during the week that followed the scene described in our last chapter, and on that evening Miss Grandison had so severe a headache, that it was quite impossible for her to join the circle. At length, however, Ferdinand made his appearance below, and established himself in the library: it now, therefore, became absolutely necessary that Miss Grandison should steel her nerves to the altered state of her betrothed, which had at first apparently so much affected her sensibility, and, by the united influence of habit and Mr. Glas...o...b..ry, it is astonishing what progress she made. She even at last could so command her feelings, that she apparently greatly contributed to his amus.e.m.e.nt. She joined in the family concerts, once even read to him.

Every morning, too, she brought him a flower, and often offered him her arm. And yet Ferdinand could not resist observing a great difference in her behaviour towards him since he had last quitted her at Bath.

Far from conducting herself, as he had nervously apprehended, as if her claim to be his companion were irresistible, her carriage, on the contrary, indicated the most retiring disposition; she annoyed him with no expressions of fondness, and listened to the kind words which he occasionally urged himself to bestow upon her with a sentiment of grave regard and placid silence, which almost filled him with astonishment.

One morning, the weather being clear and fine, Ferdinand insisted that his mother, who had as yet scarcely quitted his side, should drive out with Sir Ratcliffe; and, as he would take no refusal, Lady Armine agreed to comply. The carriage was ordered, was at the door; and as Lady Armine bade him adieu, Ferdinand rose from his seat and took the arm of Miss Grandison, who seemed on the point of retiring; for Glas...o...b..ry remained, and therefore Ferdinand was not without a companion.

'I will see you go off,' said Ferdinand.

'Adieu!' said Lady Armine. 'Take care of him, dear Kate,' and the phaeton was soon out of sight.

'It is more like May than January,' said Ferdinand to his cousin. 'I fancy I should like to walk a little.'

'Shall I send for Mr. Glas...o...b..ry?' said Katherine.

'Not if my arm be not too heavy for you,' said Ferdinand. So they walked slowly on, perhaps some fifty yards, until they arrived at a garden-seat, very near the rose-tree whose flowers Henrietta Temple so much admired. It had no flowers now, but seemed as desolate as their unhappy loves.

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'A moment's rest,' said Ferdinand, and sighed. 'Dear Kate, I wish to speak to you.'

Miss Grandison turned pale.

'I have something on my mind, Katherine, of which I would endeavour to relieve myself.'

Miss Grandison did not reply, but she trembled. 'It concerns you, Katherine.'

Still she was silent, and expressed no astonishment at this strange address.

'If I were anything now but an object of pity, a miserable and broken-hearted man,' continued Ferdinand, 'I might shrink from this communication; I might delegate to another this office, humiliating as it then might be to me, painful as it must, under any circ.u.mstances, be to you. But,' and here his voice faltered, 'but I am far beyond the power of any mortification now. The world and the world's ways touch me no more. There is a duty to fulfil; I will fulfil it. I have offended against you, my sweet and gentle cousin; grievously, bitterly, infamously offended.'

'No, no, no!' murmured Miss Grandison.

'Katherine, I am unworthy of you; I have deceived you. It is neither for your honour nor your happiness that these ties which our friends antic.i.p.ate should occur between us. But, Katherine, you are avenged.'

'Oh! I want no vengeance!' muttered Miss Grandison, her face pale as marble, her eyes convulsively closed. 'Cease, cease, Ferdinand; this conversation is madness; you will be ill again.'

'No, Katherine, I am calm. Fear not for me. There is much to tell; it must be told, if only that you should not believe that I was a systematic villain, or that my feelings were engaged to another when I breathed to you those vows.'

'Oh! anything but that; speak of anything but that!'

Ferdinand took her hand.

'Katherine, listen to me. I honour you, my gentle cousin, I admire, I esteem you; I could die content if I could but see you happy. With your charms and virtues I thought that we might be happy. My intentions were as sincere as my belief in our future felicity. Oh! no, dear Katherine, I could not trifle with so pure and gentle a bosom.'

'Have I accused you, Ferdinand?'

'But you will when you know all.'

'I do know all,' said Miss Grandison, in a hollow voice.

Her hand fell from the weak and trembling grasp of her cousin.

'You do know all,' he at length exclaimed. 'And can you, knowing all, live under the same roof with me? Can you see me? Can you listen to me?

Is not my voice torture to you? Do you not hate and despise me?'

'It is not my nature to hate anything; least of all could I hate you.'

'And could you, knowing all, still minister to my wants and watch my sad necessities? This gentle arm of yours; could you, knowing all, let me lean upon it this morning? O Katherine! a happy lot be yours, for you deserve one!'

'Ferdinand, I have acted as duty, religion, and it may be, some other considerations prompted me. My feelings have not been so much considered that they need now be a.n.a.lysed.'

'Reproach me, Katherine, I deserve _your_ reproaches.'

'Mine may not be the only reproaches that you have deserved, Ferdinand; but permit me to remark, from me you have received none. I pity you, I sincerely pity you.'

'Glas...o...b..ry has told you?' said Ferdinand.

'That communication is among the other good offices we owe him,' replied Miss Grandison.

'He told you?' said Ferdinand enquiringly.