Heartwishes Part 21

When Colin was in his last year of school-University of Virginia-his father was begging him to join his car business.

"I'll give you anything you want," his dad said. "Have a lawyer draw up a contract. You want fifty percent-eighty percent-whatever, you got it. You want me to retire and turn everything over to you and your brothers, I will."

The only thing Colin wanted, had ever wanted, was to be the sheriff of Edilean. The fact that the town didn't have a sheriff didn't bother him at all.

His father, in an attempt to "reason" with him-meaning to make his eldest son see things his way-said, "You need a job that pays you, one you can make money at. It's a matter of pride."

He'd added the last because he knew his son didn't need money. When Colin was sixteen, his father had complained about the software that kept track of all the cars his dealership sold. Peregrine Frazier had ranted and raved about it in detail, saying that the program was made for one dealership and about a hundred cars. "It gets confused when I put more than that in it," he said in derision.

At the time, Colin was a senior in high school and taking a computer course. The next morning he talked to his teacher about the problem, and together they wrote a new program.

Colin presented it to his father on the day he graduated.

"I'm supposed to give you a gift, boy," Mr. Frazier said, looking at the four CDs in puzzlement. "Is this music?"

"Stick it in a computer and see," Colin said.

When Mr. Frazier saw what the software could do, he copyrighted it, paid a lot to have some IT guys smooth it out, then marketed it. Every penny in royalties that came in was split between Colin and his teacher. The money was enough that both of them never had to work again.

When Colin graduated from college he didn't want to sell cars, but he hated to see his father beg. Worse, he couldn't bear to tell him no. And too, there was the weight on him that his ancestors had always worked with anything with wheels. To not do so was letting down generations of Fraziers. So Colin had agreed to try it. He'd gone to work in the Richmond dealership and done his best to sell cars.

But he'd hated it. Selling was not something he liked and he was very, very bad at it. His sales were so low the other salespeople laughed at him.

It was Jean who changed everything.

Colin had been out of college for only a few weeks, was just twenty-one years old, and working for his dad. Jean came in to buy a car and she was so beautiful that all Colin could do was stare at her. His brother ended up making the sale.

Colin thought that was the end of the meeting, but she called him later and invited him out. They ended up in bed together, and two months later, they were living together in her apartment.

Like Colin's father, Jean encouraged him to stay in the car business, and for four years they were a couple. He was pulled into her life of candlelit dinners and nights out. He was fascinated by her law cases, and they often stayed up all night working on them. It was the closest Colin had come to real work in the world of law enforcement he so loved. Jean's world became his, but that was all right because being involved so deeply with her helped block out his unhappiness at his job. And besides, he was so young and inexperienced that everything about her was dazzling.

In college he'd been so involved in his studies-which consisted of anything that came close to pertaining to criminology-and sports that he didn't have time for much else. There'd been girls, but none of them held his attention for very long. He wanted a woman who was interesting, and who was more involved in life than in just wondering what she should wear.

Jean, six years older than he was, a lawyer and well traveled, had fulfilled that need in him, and for those years their life together had been good.

Colin didn't realize it, but he'd always a.s.sumed that someday they'd quit going out so often, quit flying to Napa for the weekend, and quit having their raucous fights. He thought they would become serious, and when they did, they'd move to Edilean. They'd live in a real house with a big backyard, not a terrace that looked out over a city. They'd have kids and attend church together.

Everything changed one evening when Jean came home and excitedly told him that she'd had a job offer in Washington, D.C.

"Of course I haven't accepted yet," she said.

Colin smiled. It was obvious that she'd wanted to consult him before making such a big decision. But she didn't say that. In fact, she didn't ask him a single question.

"I want to see if I can get the same amount of money from Briggs. I'll play them against each other. I'll let them conduct an auction over me and the highest bidder wins. Oh! I have to call Mom about this. She'll be out of her mind with excitement." Jean patted his leg as she got off the couch, winegla.s.s in hand, and went to call her mother.

Colin had sat there in silence, and it was as though his whole life suddenly became crystal clear to him. He was working at a job he hated and living where he didn't want to-all to please other people.

He knew that Jean was thinking of taking another job without consulting him because she was so sure he'd go with her that she needn't bother to ask him.

And why should she? Colin thought. He could go anywhere. He had no doubt that his father would love a reason to buy a car dealership in D.C. If Colin wanted to go to Italy, his dad would probably buy a showroom there.

When Jean returned to the room, she was even more elated-and was completely oblivious to the fact that Colin was saying nothing. They ordered in some Chinese food and she talked all through the meal. It was only when they'd finished that she slowed down.

"You're awfully quiet. Don't you have anything to say about this wonderful news?"

"I'm going back to Edilean."

"That's a great idea. Your parents will be thrilled that I'm getting such a promotion. I'll make partner in another three years."

She went right back into talking about her plans, and her life.

As Colin cleared away the meal, Jean got on her phone and started calling people to tell them her good news. When he finished, he went to the bedroom and got his suitcases out of the closet.

She didn't come into the bedroom for over an hour, and by then Colin was packed.

"Could I use your phone?" she asked. "The battery on mine gave out and I'm too excited to want to talk while plugged in. What are you doing?"

"I told you. I'm going home."

"Okay. I'll see you this weekend. I guess you'll need your cell?"

"Yeah, I'll need it," he said as he picked up his two suitcases and walked out the front door.

By the time Jean showed up in town with her fabulous news that she'd accepted the job and would be moving to D.C. in two weeks, Colin had rented an office in town. And he'd already had the showdown with his father.

Colin had politely listened to every argument his father came up with as to why he had to return to Richmond.

"We need you!" his father had pleaded.

Colin never came close to losing his temper or his resolve. He'd at last made up his mind, and he wasn't going to change it. "You don't need me, but the people of Edilean do," he told his father.

When Jean showed up in Edilean, she was angry. She burst into his newly acquired office and started in on him right away. "What the h.e.l.l are you doing?" she shouted. "I've been left alone for two whole weeks, and I've had to make all the arrangements for our move by myself. d.a.m.n! But you can be so selfish!"

She looked around the place. Over the fifty or so years since the building was constructed, it had been many things. Its latest incarnation had been to sell sandwiches and sodas. Colin had donated all the fixtures to a retirement home, bought a couple of old desks, some chairs, and an old filing cabinet at an auction. He hadn't yet painted the three rooms.

"What is this place?" Jean asked, her upper lip curled in a sneer. "It's disgusting. And filthy."

"How about if I buy some mops and buckets, and you and I clean it?"

"I don't have time for your weird sense of humor right now. Are you packed?"

They hadn't seen each other or even talked on the phone for two whole weeks, and it looked like Jean thought Colin had been busy packing to go to her new job.

When he didn't move, she sat down on the old wooden chair across from his desk. "What is it this time?" she asked in the tone of someone who put up with a lot from him.

Colin marveled at how different he felt about her, about life in general, now that he no longer had a job he hated. In just two weeks he'd achieved more soul-satisfying accomplishments than he had in years of working for his father.

"This is my office," Colin said with a calmness Jean had never heard before.

"I don't understand. How can you have an office here when we'll be living in D.C.? Do you plan to come down here on weekends?"

It had taken nearly three hours of talking-with tears from both of them-before Jean fully realized that he was breaking up with her.

In the end, she held on to her anger. Whereas she'd dumped a lot of men, she'd never had anyone say no to her. But tears, anger, none of it made Colin change from his decision. Even when Jean said she'd refuse the new job and keep the old one, he didn't relent.

Neither of them ever considered that she'd move to Edilean.

They parted with more animosity than Colin wanted, and it took him a long time to put her out of his mind. He missed her a lot, and often came close to calling her to tell her about something that had happened.

He did his best to bury himself in his work. He went to the county sheriff, Tom Wilderson, and talked to him at length. Since Edilean didn't have its own sheriff, the best the man could do was deputize Colin and keep him in a station in Edilean.

"But the county can't afford-" Tom began.

"I'll pay for it," Colin said. "All expenses are mine."

When Tom was able to close his mouth from shock, he agreed to Colin's proposal, as he liked the young man. But he also knew that Colin's family was rich, so Tom figured Colin would quit after a few months. Who wanted to settle domestic disputes instead of sitting by the pool?

Colin didn't quit, and over the years, Tom had found Colin's intelligence and calm demeanor invaluable. In the first year, there'd been an incident that Colin had handled well. Two brothers were fishing in the wilderness area around Edilean when they got in a fight, and one of them shot the other. In remorse and grief, the surviving brother had threatened to shoot a family that was having a picnic. Colin had talked the man out of the idea.

But as well as Colin's professional life had gone, the personal side had suffered.

For years after he split with Jean, they'd not seen each other. He'd dated a few women-none of them from Edilean-but it had never worked out. One woman hated his job as deputy sheriff in Edilean. He realized it was her own sense of prestige that concerned her, meaning that she'd wanted a doctor or lawyer. What had really horrified him was that after just four dates she was a.s.suming they'd get married.

Another young woman was like that dreadful Isla, whom his mother had nearly hired. She'd been stunned when she'd seen the Frazier estate. Her greed for the place had made her dizzy. Colin dropped her the next day.

After years of these failed relationships, Jean had returned to his life.

About a year ago, he'd been in the county courthouse going through some old files when he'd looked up and seen Jean. He'd forgotten how beautiful she was and how put together she always appeared. Since he'd lived with her, he well knew the time and effort that went into her looks, but at the moment he saw her again, he forgot all that.

Minutes later, they were having lunch together, and she told him that she'd returned to her old law firm in Richmond. "I decided I'd rather be a big fish," she said. "In D.C. there were too many people like me."

An hour later they were in a hotel room.

His first impression of her was that she'd changed. She seemed less intense, less driven to win over everyone on her way to the top.

"I found out what's really important in life," she said as she sipped her gla.s.s of wine. "And you! It's like you've finally grown up."

Jean had the ability to make insults seem like compliments.

"I've been through a lot in the last years," he said.

"I hope I didn't cause you any pain when I broke up with you."

Colin didn't correct her. If her ego needed to think that, let her.

He still wasn't sure how it happened, but within weeks they were again going out together. Jean did her best to make him think she was now willing to compromise and make a life together. "I've missed you so very much," she said. "I didn't know I could miss anyone so much."

They went to bed a few more times, but it wasn't the same. Colin was no longer the unhappy young man he had been. And he was no longer dazzled by Jean or her job or even her beauty.

She'd been correct when she'd said that he'd at last grown up.

He'd known in his heart that he should break it off completely with Jean, but he couldn't do it. When she wasn't after something, she was fun and interesting. Her clients gave her tickets to plays and concerts, and he enjoyed them. And his family adored her. She and Lanny teased each other in a raunchy way, and Jean went shopping with Mrs. Frazier. The two women had decorated the guesthouse together. Jean bought art books for Shamus, and found out-of-print books on automotive history for Mr. Frazier.

Colin didn't want to take these things away from his family, but he'd had more than enough of being alone. Besides, there was no one else in his life.

For his own sanity, he cut out s.e.x with Jean. She was willing, but he knew he didn't love her anymore, and he didn't want her to have the wrong idea about where their relationship was going.

About three months ago, Tom said he'd seen Jean in Richmond with a man she'd introduced as her brother. "Good-looking young man named Elliot."

"About ten years younger than her?" Colin asked.

"Yeah, but then I guess you've met him."

Colin wanted to say "I was him," but he didn't. He knew Jean had no siblings, and that the only living relative she had was her mother. "An only child of only-child parents," she used to say.

Colin knew that if he'd been jealous of the young man she was introducing as her brother, it meant he still had feelings for her. The truth was, he was glad and that made him realize that it was time to finally break off their friendship. He dreaded the tears his mother was going to shed. She'd always been so sure Jean was going to be her daughter-in-law, but Colin couldn't help that. Part of him knew that as long as he had Jean as a companion, he would quit searching for someone to share his life with.

When he met Gemma, it was as though his prayers had been answered. If he were a superst.i.tious man, he would have said the Heartwishes Stone was at work.

When he'd seen her sprawled on the floor, pens and papers all around her, she made him smile. When he spent time with her, he was nearly joyous at what he saw. She was quiet, so very much the opposite of Jean's up-and-down moods and her craving for excitement. Even Jean's cooking was done for drama. He well knew that she'd never scramble a couple of eggs. "How boring!" she used to say. "Call the deli."

But Gemma had made him an omelet and had cared enough that she'd told him to take a shower at her place. And she'd gone with him to the grocery, driven his car, which had been souped-up by Lanny, and she'd helped him rescue a child. Colin had seen the fear in her eyes that day, but that hadn't stopped her from climbing on him and grabbing the boy. Colin would never tell anyone, but he'd replayed that YouTube video at least fifty times.

As for what had happened the morning he showered in her house, it was true that at first he hadn't remembered their brief moment together. However, he knew his sleep had been restless that night and that he'd been having a dream about Gemma. When Lanny had woken him up in her house, Colin had fought against it.

"Whatever the h.e.l.l you're dreaming about, I'd sure like to share it with you," Lanny said.

Colin, still not awake, almost hit his brother. To Colin's foggy mind, Lanny was saying he wanted a threesome with Gemma.

Later, when Colin saw her again, he was amazed at the joy that shot through him. When Gemma looked at him as though he were the lowest piece of slime on earth, he didn't know when he'd ever been so devastated-and bewildered. What in the world had happened to make her despise him?

He tried to get her to tell him, but she'd wanted nothing to do with him. Before he could find out, Jean showed up at the barbecue, uninvited, and he'd wanted to tell her to go away and never come back.

When Mike asked Colin to help with the big side pad, Colin was glad to get away from her. But his happiness soon left him when Gemma made her remark about being "smart and brave."

Everything hit Colin at once and he realized what he'd done-and he'd been truly horrified. He thought that in one of his dreams of l.u.s.t he'd pulled Gemma into her own bed and . . . He didn't want to think what he'd done. She wouldn't have physically been able to get away.

Later, she would have worried that if she told, she'd lose her job, the one she so very much wanted.

He'd stood there by the tree, unable to move away, and watched Gemma frantically pound away with her kicks and punches. When Luke called time, she kept on going. That he, Colin, had been the cause of her hurt and anger made him feel ill. Mike had to hold her to get her to stop hitting.

Colin had nodded at Mike, letting him know that he wanted to be alone with Gemma. She didn't want to see or speak to him, but he had to let her know that no one had a right to attack a woman and get away with it. Even if it meant that Colin's career and his life as he knew it would be over, he was going to do right by her.

When she told him she hadn't been "forced," it was all he could do not to pick her up and kiss her. She had gone after him.

As soon as she said it, images began to come back to him.

When Jean came to him, he could hardly bear the sight of her. He knew that the way she'd slipped her arm around his was a show of ownership. How Colin regretted their friendship of the last year!