Heart's Passage Part 21

Finally, consciousness, like the sunshine, snuck up on the pair and the deep kiss they shared was enough to pull them both awake. Breathlessly they gazed at each other, blinking groggily despite the waves of tingles coursing through them both.

"Wow," breathed Jo, mesmerized by the brilliant green orbs just inches from her own. She suddenly became very aware of her hands, one possessively cupping Cadie's b.u.t.tock, the other wrapped around the smaller woman's waist.

"Very wow," the blonde agreed quietly, wondering just how her leg came to be wound around the dark woman's hips. "That's one h.e.l.l of a way to wake a woman up, Skipper."

"Mhmm..." Jo murmured, savoring the feel of the compact American's body against hers. "I don't know about you, Miss Jones," she whispered as she leaned in to claim Cadie's lips again, "but I could stand to wake up this way every morning." They kissed again, slowly, both riding a gradually rising tide of desire. Only the thump of an impatient feline landing on the foot of the bed interrupted them.

Cadie giggled as she watched Mephisto stalk up the foothills of the lumpy mountain the two women made under the sheet.

"Ow, ow, ow...claws. Mephisto, mind your claws," Jo protested as the big cat made his way up her long thigh. She winced as the feline b.u.mped a few bruises, reminding Jo of the hard day her body had endured. She and Cadie parted enough to allow him a place to sit between them and he promptly curled into a contented ball with a sound that was half meow and half purr.

"I'm guessing that's his 'stop kissing and feed me' noise." Cadie grinned at the cat's owner who was gazing affectionately at the black feline.

Jo laughed quietly. "Something like that." She turned back to look at Cadie with frank eyes. "And it's probably a good thing he interrupted us if we want to stick to that decision we made last night," she said, somewhat wistfully, fighting the urge to nudge the cat out of the way and throw caution to the wind.

Cadie sighed, desire for the tall skipper warring with the complications of her life that were bouncing insistently off the inside of her skull. "Probably," she agreed sadly. "But I don't have to pretend I like it, do I?" She pouted slightly, a look that drew a charmed smile from Jo, who ran a gentle finger down the line of Cadie's jaw.

"No, sweetheart, you don't have to like it," she replied softly. "Here's an idea. It's early and we've got some time. Why don't I get up and feed the monster here?" She ruffled the fur on top of the cat's head playfully. "I'll put together some breakfast for us as well and then we can spend the next few hours in bed getting to know each other."

"In the Biblical sense?" Cadie quipped hopefully, grinning at the belly laugh that erupted from the tall skipper.

Jo leaned forward and kissed her soundly before sliding out of bed. She groaned as she stretched stiff and sore limbs. "Don't go away. I'll be right back," she said, padding gingerly around the bed.

Cadie couldn't keep her eyes off the lanky Australian whose t-shirt barely covered the tops of her long legs.

"Mmm," she murmured. "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."

Jo lifted one elegant eyebrow in response to the lascivious look on the blonde's face and chuckled as she headed out the door to the living room. "C'mon Mephy, tucker time," she called out.

The feline sprang up, used Cadie's stomach as a stepping-stone, and bounded out after his mistress.

"Oooofff... claws!" yelped the blonde, giggling quietly to herself when she heard Jo laughing at her distress.

Jo was still laughing as she crossed the living room into the kitchen, retrieving the cat's bowl from the corner where it had been kicked in all the commotion of the day before. Remembering just what a bizarre day it had been brought her up short for a moment and she glanced over to the front door where the crudely-fashioned makeshift replacement paid testament to the day's events.

Was that really me? Do I still have that violent animal inside me? She poured a handful of kibble into the bowl and placed it on the floor for Mephisto, crouching next to him and absentmindedly running her fingers through his fur as he tucked into the food. So much has happened in the last 24 hours. So much that was awful. She glanced toward the bedroom where she could hear Cadie pottering about, humming tunelessly to herself. But she made it wonderful, Jo thought with a smile. All that horror, and she wiped it away with one touch and one word.

She shook her head in disbelief and opened the fridge in search of the contents for a suitable breakfast-in-bed.

I can't get over the connection I feel with her, she thought as she pulled out mangoes, strawberries, and a couple of bananas. It feels... old... and deep.

A wave of melancholy washed through her as she began slicing the various fruits into bite-sized pieces and placing them on a platter.

Bottom line is it doesn't matter how connected we feel, she thought grimly. In a few hours we'll be back to reality. Naomi will be breathing down Cadie's neck, and in less than two weeks that gorgeous blonde in my bedroom will disappear from my life like she was never here. She tossed the knife into the sink with a satisfying clatter. That kiss may have been a huge mistake, Jo-Jo. You're about to get your heart broken.

Cadie emerged from the bathroom and took the opportunity to explore Jo's bedroom while the tall skipper was otherwise occupied in the kitchen.

She wandered around the large room, taking in the cool blue and green tones of the largely unadorned walls, and the few knick-knacks sitting on the crowded bookshelves. There was one picture of an older couple she a.s.sumed were Jo's parents, arm-in-arm outside a comfortable-looking white bungalow-style house. Apart from that there was nothing to indicate Jo had had a childhood of any sort. Cadie carefully picked up a foot-long clear bottle which held an exquisite model ship, the rigging and sails a ma.s.s of delicately executed ropes and spars.

This took hours and hours to make. Cadie gingerly replaced the bottle on its stand. It's gorgeous. She ran a finger across a row of books, taking in the t.i.tles and learning what she could about her tall companion. Hmmm, science-fiction mainly. Biographies, Buddhism. That raised her eyebrows a little. And what's this? Smiling broadly, Cadie pulled out a lesbian romance novel whose author was one of her own stable of talent. Well, whaddaya know? Tall, dark, and dangerous is a sucker for romance. She grinned as she slid the book back into its place.

The room was neat and well organized and reminded Cadie of the inside of the Sea wolf.

Not surprising, I guess. Everything's tucked away and in its place. She smiled as she crawled back into the bed, sliding between the sheets and curling up in a patch of sunlight. I know so little about her, but I feel like I've known her forever. Her body shivered slightly at the memory of Jo's touch. Yesterday was so...bizarre...that darkness that's in her-can I live with that?

She snorted to herself, rolling back up into a sitting position and hugging her knees to her chest.

G.o.d, listen to me. Live with what? she chastised herself. I'm thinking like I don't have another life. d.a.m.n... what am I going to do? Jo's become the most precious thing in the world to me, but it's all so complicated. And I'm not sure I want more complications in my life.

A small tear escaped and rolled down Cadie's cheek as she rested her chin on her forearms. She sniffed mournfully and gazed out at the spectacular view of Whitsunday Pa.s.sage.

She felt, rather than heard the quiet presence behind her and turned to see Jo holding a huge platter of fruit as she leaned against the doorjamb. The tall skipper looked worried.

"Hi," the blonde said quietly, brushing away the tears with a quick swipe of her hand.

"Hey," Jo replied. "You look like you could use a hug."

Cadie nodded, disconcerted to find her chin wobbling at the concern in Jo's eyes. The skipper sat down on the edge of the bed and reached over Cadie's legs to slide the platter onto the flat part of the mattress, out of the way. "C'mere, sweetie," the dark-haired woman said, wrapping the blonde up in long, willing arms. She ignored the ache from her injured arm as she rested her cheek on the top of Cadie's head and rocked her gently for a while. "What's up?"

Cadie laughed tearfully into Jo's neck. "Oh, nothing much. Just a few small little things. Like I'm not married to the person I'm in love with. And I am married to someone I don't think I even like much anymore." There was a pause as she gathered herself. "And... and... and in 10 days I have to go back to the States." The words rushed out.

Jo closed her eyes and grimaced, recognizing the pain behind Cadie's words and its mirror image in her own heart. But at the same time a soft, happy little chime sounded in her head. She pulled away from Cadie and ducked her head to catch the smaller woman's eye. "You're in love with me?" she asked, a lop-sided grin giving her a rakish air.

Moist green eyes managed a smile back at her. "Well, um, yes, I think I might be...yes," replied Cadie, feeling the blush rise across her face and neck. "I...um...sorry, that's probably the last thing you wanted to hear right now, what with everything else that I said last night..."

Jo lifted her chin with a gentle fingertip and deliberately locked gazes with the blonde.

"Do I look like I'm complaining?" she asked softly. "I'm glad you said it. I was hoping I wasn't the only one feeling that way." She smiled gently as Cadie looked up at her wonderingly.

"Wow," Cadie whispered. "That's nice to know."

"Mhmm," answered Jo as she leaned down to capture the American's lips in a soul-deep, intense kiss.

"G.o.d that feels good." Cadie took a few seconds to savor the feeling but soon Jo could again see the fear in those beautiful eyes.

"Honey-" she started, but Cadie's hands flew up to cover her face as panic overtook the blonde.

"Jesus, Jo-Jo, what are we going to do? This is a nightmare."

Jo sighed and pulled Cadie back into an all-enveloping hug.

"I'll tell you what we're going to do," she said fiercely. "For a start, we're going to live in the minute as much n we inn. We have the next few hours to ourselves. Let's take the opportunity to ask and answer the million and one questions I know we have." She felt Cadie nodding against her shoulder and acknowledged the perceptible relaxation of the American's body. "Then we're going to go back to the Seawolf and deal with reality as best we can."

Cadie whimpered softly and Jo chuckled.

"I know, baby. But then we're going to do exactly what you said you needed to do last night."

"What's that?" came the m.u.f.fled question.

"We're going to take it one step at a time, Arcadia. You're going to work through all the loose ends with Naomi till you get to a conclusion you can live with." Cadie nodded again. "And then you're going to spend whatever time you need deciding what you want to do next." Jo softly kissed the top of the blonde's disheveled head. "And the bottom line is, darling, I'm not going anywhere. You'll always know where to find me, if and when you're ready to."

Jo knew she sounded brave and strong, but she felt a large part of her heart crumbling under the reality of her own words. There's a chance I may never see her again once she goes home.

"I love you," Cadie said quietly.

Jo smiled into the golden hair against her face. "I love you, too," she replied.

Cadie patted the bed on her right-hand side where she could still feel remnants of Jo's body heat. "Come back to bed?"

A few minutes later they were side by side again with the platter of fruit between them. They each propped themselves up on an elbow to eat their breakfast and occasionally they fed each other a tasty morsel.

"You must have a lot of questions for me," Jo said after a while, keeping her eyes studiously on the fruit. "Yesterday wasn't exactly run of the mill."

"No it wasn't," Cadie agreed. She's not comfortable with this. She's ashamed of what she was. Let's see if I can make it any easier. "Tell me about the nightmare?"

Jo lifted faintly surprised eyes to Cadie's.

"I wasn't expecting you to start there," she admitted with a small smile. "But it's as good a place as any. It harks back to the day I started in the business and the day I decided to get out for good."

"Okay," Cadie said, reaching for a piece of pineapple that was calling her name.

"I used to work for a man called Tony Martin. He was the biggest drug dealer in Sydney at the time. I was what they used to call his 'minder.' In exchange for rather large amounts of money I would... eliminate... his compet.i.tion, or people who had done the wrong thing by him."

"You would kill them?" Cadie asked quietly.

"Sometimes, yes," Jo replied, her face flushed and her eyes downcast. "Sometimes it was enough just to hurt them a bit, or scare them badly. But yes, sometimes I had to kill them.

"As time went on he had me take people out for less and less reason." Jo dropped onto her back and threw her right arm across her eyes. Cadie kept still and just let the dark-haired woman talk. "That last one..." She swallowed hard. "She was just a kid who made the mistake of giving him some cheek and re-selling some of the dope he'd given her for nothing." Cadie watched a tear slip from the corner of Jo's eye as she lay there. "She was like I had been 10 years earlier-scared and young and hungry."

Jo dropped her arm down by her side and stared at the ceiling. She sighed deeply.

"I chased her into an alley and held a gun to her head." She glanced over at Cadie who watched her somberly. "She had green eyes, too." Jo rolled onto her side and gazed up into the blonde's eyes. "Something clicked in my head-finally." She shook her head in wonder. "And I couldn't do it. But before I could let her go, our friend Marco came along and took care of us both."

Cadie swallowed the rising lump in her throat. "So she died anyway?"

Jo nodded mutely, playing with the piece of mango in her fingers. "He king-hit me then took her out with my own gun. When I came to, I lost it completely and called Harding. That was the beginning of the end."

Cadie leaned forward and gently took the mango sliver from Jo's fingers, reaching up and placing it against her bottom lip. "Eat, darling," she urged with a smile. Jo accepted the fruit, taking the opportunity to place a few delicate kisses on the blonde's fingertips as she did so. Cadie tried to ignore the run of tingles the action sent up her arm and all positions south. "You said the dream also connected to your first day in the business. Tell me more about that?"

Jo took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Where do I start that story?

Cadie chuckled at the perplexed look on her friend's face. "Honey, just start at the beginning." She smiled. "How did you end up in Sydney in the first place? I remember you saying your parents own a sheep farm out in the country."

"Mhmm," Jo confirmed, relieved to have a specific question to answer. "It's pretty isolated out there. Our nearest neighbors were about an hour's drive away, and the nearest town was a couple more hours beyond that."

"Really?" Cadie blinked hard, trying to imagine those kinds of distances. "So the farm must be pretty big I guess?"

Jo smiled and nodded. "About 60,000 acres," she said and laughed at Cadie's wide-eyed reaction. "Anyway, there was just me, Mum, and Dad and a few jackaroos most of the year. A jackaroo is like a cowboy," she explained in answer to the quizzical look on the blonde's face. "And the shearers for a couple of months in early summer. So it was pretty quiet." She paused. "Really, really quiet."

"Where did you go to school?" the blonde asked.

"School of the Air," Jo replied. "That's where you do all your work by correspondence and then once a week you catch up with the teacher by radio."

"Wow, that's amazing. You didn't ever get to go to parties or dances, or stuff like that?"

"Oh, Mum and Dad did their best to get me to and from places when they could," Jo replied. "But they were working so hard just to keep the station afloat, you know? There was the occasional B and S but that was about it."

"B and S?"

Jo chuckled at the puzzled look on the American's face. "Bachelor and Spinster's Ball. All the single men and women from around the district drive for miles to have a dance in an old shed. Lots of bush dancing, lots of drinking, and a lot of sore heads in the morning," she explained. "Happens a couple of times a year. But I was a little young for those, according to Mum and Dad."

Cadie nodded.

"I was driving by the time I was 12, so that helped a bit, but then the more I mixed with kids my own age, the more I realized I was different from them," Jo said. She picked up a humungous strawberry and grinned wickedly at the American. "Remind you of anything?" she asked, twirling the fruit by its stalk and quirking an eyebrow at Cadie.

The blonde grinned back. "Why don't you tell me?" she teased.

"Lean forward and close your eyes," Jo said in her lowest, s.e.xiest register.

"Ooo, G.o.d you should patent that voice, woman," muttered Cadie, doing as she was told.

Jo pressed the narrow end of the strawberry against the blonde's lips.

"Open a little and kiss this," Jo whispered, mesmerized by the tantalizing way Cadie's lips surrounded the tip of the fruit. "Mmm, that's it. Now touch your tongue to it and stroke it slowly." She watched Cadie obey and then laughed as the blonde's eyes flew open. "I told you it would remind you of something," she teased.

Cadie responded by grabbing Jo's hand and slowly, sensually devouring the strawberry like it was a part of the taller woman's anatomy that she had coveted for a very long time. Jo felt her temperature rising as she watched the blonde make love to the fruit with her mouth. She swallowed, wondering if the desire she was feeling was as obvious to Cadie as it felt to her.

Clearly it was.

"That'll teach you to tease me," Cadie said smugly around the last remnants of the fruit. Jo leaned forward and kissed off the dribble of juice that slid down the American's chin.

"That'll teach you to tease me" Jo replied, smiling softly as she resumed her reclining position and licked her lips.

Cadie cleared her throat. "Where were we?" she asked huskily.

"d.a.m.ned if I know." Jo laughed.

They both took a moment just to be together before Cadie refocused the conversation.

"You can drive at age 12 here?"

Jo laughed. "No, not legally," she said. "But out in the bush kids learn early so they can help out on the farm. Tractors, trucks, utes, you name it, I was driving it."

"Was that part of feeling different?" Cadie asked.

"Nah, all my friends did the same," Jo replied. "No, it was like...I felt much more self-aware than everyone else seemed to be. What free time I had away from my ch.o.r.es and my schoolwork, I spent reading. My folks were pretty good at making sure I got as wide an education as they could give me. So I wasn't a naive kid at all. And from what contact I did have with other kids my age, it didn't take me very long to figure out that it was the girls who intrigued me and not the guys."

She and the blonde exchanged grins as they each remembered their own moments of revelation.