Head Over Heels From The Scarf I Lent Her Chapter 22

Satsuki arrived at Amane’s room with a tray full of dinner.

It was the first day of suspension. There was no hint of Amane being willing to come out of her room. Yesterday’s lunch was left untouched as well.
Because their father told her to, Satsuki delivered Amane her meals, even if she was not willing to eat. No one could force her to do so. Still, Satsuki wasn’t about to disobey her father, especially not if she is fed and clothed on his dime.

Amane stumbled around in her room after Satsuki knocked on her door.

“I’ve brought you your meal.”
“… just leave it there. And don’t forget to come clean up afterwards.”

Satsuki laid her sister’s food on the ground by the door, just as she was instructed.
In an instant, the door swung open inwards. Amane grabbed Satsuki and wrestled her inside before she could react before locking her door.
Satsuki could not escape. Memories of cruelty flood her thoughts.

“Ah… hi.”

Amane grabbed Satsuki by the collar and pinned her to the ground.
The ceiling lights casted a dark shadow on Amane’s face.
She looked like a ghost. The grudge she held for all these years burned into her eyes, now lifeless. The c.o.c.ky grin she always had was replaced by a blank, expressionless face. Her unkempt hair added to her terrifying visage all the more.

“It’s your fault.”
“Huh…?”
“It’s all you and that Tooru, or whatever his name is.”

Ah, she was laying the blame on others again. She really has not matured at all. Her reign of terror could only lead her so far.

At first, Satsuki was frightened. But the more she looked into Amane’s feelings, the calmer Satsuki felt. Then, the image of Tooru came to Satsuki’s mind.
What would Tooru do in this situation? How would someone as kind as he overcome a prediction like this?
Even with her older sister pinning her down, Satsuki took a deep breath.

“Are you afraid?”
“What…?”

She spoke kindly, as Tooru has to her.
Satsuki had always been too frightened to truly understand her sister’s words. Amane didn’t speak much and her pride wouldn’t allow her to show any weakness at school either.

But now, Amane was completely exhausted. Even Satsuki knew that their father harshly scolded Amane for ruining her own reputation.

“Are you afraid because you have lost your standing?”
“The h.e.l.l are you saying, you piece of s.h.i.t?!”

Amane released her hold on Satsuki only to slap her in the face. Yet, Satsuki looked straight at her.
Satsuki had been weak. But if Tooru and the others were successful in bringing Amane down, Satsuki couldn’t stay this way either.

“I’m not going to give in anymore. I’m not going to give in to you.”
“Even you’re going to…!”
“No… up until now, I had feared you too much to do anything. I regret not being able to stop you from bullying Tooru. I thought was okay with all the regret, all the sadness. I thought I was okay with everything being destroyed.”

Amane gulped, taking in all of Satsuki’s spirit.
Remember the good times. Remember how miserable it was to be subjugated by Amane. And remember how you are alone no longer.

Satsuki had been alone for as long as she could remember. Her mother had been broken, and her father had only supported the family only with his money. Her sister had bullied her as it was in her nature to do so.
It would be reasonable to resent it all, but Satsuki had no such feelings. She could not resent her parents and sister, no matter how they may be.
Up until middle school, she had no desire to live. She was simply in the shape of a living human being. She withstood her parent’s neglect and all of Amane’s abuse.

But after being summoned by her sister on that snowy day, Satsuki was saved. Saved from her miserableness, her desire to end everything. Saved by Tooru. Who knows what would happen if she never received the warmth of that scarf.
That was why it was Satsuki’s turn. It was Satsuki’s turn to be courageous, and Amane’s turn to be quiet.

“Amane. I neither hate you nor do I like you.”

Amane got real quiet after hearing those words. She likely had never heard Satsuki speak with such confidence.

“So, why don’t you stop this? All of this. We both know we will never be friends. But, if you were to cut it out, we could be normal siblings. That is all I want.”

Amane kept silent. Something was on her mind, but it didn’t seem like she was angry.
Satsuki waited for her answer. She would like for her to agree.
Then, Amane’s shoulder began to shake. It was understood that to be laughter.
Satsuki closed her eyes as she couldn’t get through to her. Then, something struck right by her face. She gingerly opens her eyes to see Amane’s fist.

“Hah. After all these years… what am I supposed to do…”

Hearing her defeated tone for the first time, Satsuki reached her hand out to Amane’s cheeks. Then, she touched her very tenderly. It did not seem like Amane would push her hand away.
Amane hung her head down, tears rolling down from her face. They were not tears of joy, but likely tears of regret. She couldn’t accept the kindness her younger sister is showing her, even after all the abuse, all the cruelty. The drops fell onto Satsuki’s clothes.

“… you probably have a spare key, right? Just go.”
“Amane…”
“I have no trust or influence left. n.o.body will believe in me anymore. Congrats. You win, I lose, so just get out of here!”

She screamed from the bottom of her heart.
Perhaps Amane just wanted to be understood. She was coa.r.s.e because she had never been scolded to do so otherwise. She was a pitiful person who knew only how to be violent.
Satsuki looked with only her eyes at the clock. It was nearly 7:00. Tooru was almost off work.

Satsuki looked back again at Amane. Amane then got off her sister and sat defeatedly on the ground. It did not seem like she was going to stop Satsuki.
Satsuki then stood up and headed towards her room without looking back at Amane.

Tooru left work at the same time nearly every day. It wasn’t until Satsuki looked at him that he realized she was sitting by the door of his apartment. His eyes widened and rushed on over.

“Satsuki! What are you doing sitting here…? You should’ve unlocked the door and waited inside.”
“Oh… I was too busy thinking about you. I forgot I had it.”

Satsuki chuckled as Tooru blushed a little.
He always blushes whenever she says anything like that. She knew he didn’t really have eyes for her, but she still thought Tooru is cute.

On the contrary, Satsuki liked Tooru. Not as a schoolmate, but as someone of the opposite s.e.x. At first, she only thought of him as a friend, but before she knew it, she found herself drawn to his kindness, his warmth.
She found her heart racing whenever she was with him.

“Come on, head inside. It’s gotten a little chilly lately.”

She liked how gentlemanly he is too. Tooru placed his hand on Satsuki’s shoulder and led her inside. Her heart pounded.
Whenever Tooru touches her, Satsuki floated as if she had wings, as if she were dancing in midair.

As they stepped inside, he turned on the lights. It was the view as always. Past the kitchen was the living room. Though the door to the room was closed, the neat and tidy room was there waiting for them.
They opened the door and entered the living room. Though she aches if she sits on the white rug for too long, she didn’t hate it.

Satsuki sat down right against Tooru for some reason or another. It was a soothing warmth where they connected with each other.

He didn’t seem too comfortable being so close with a girl, but Satsuki felt safe and secure. What was soon to unfold will shape the future of Tooru.

Satsuki took a deep breath before looking up at Tooru in his eyes. There was a difference between their heights, so naturally, Tooru also looked down to meet her eyes.

“What’s wrong, Satsuki? Did something happen?”

It was very much like Tooru to be concerned about her. That warmth of his had helped her countless times, like he was the light of her life.

“I spoke to my sister before coming here.”
“What…?! Are you okay?! She didn’t do anything to you, did she?”

He gripped her by the shoulders and lightly jostled her. That was him showing his concern for her.

“… she said she will stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Everything. She will stop tormenting me and bullying you. There’s no need to be frightened of her anymore.”
“Then…”

It was no wonder that Tooru was surprised. Amane had been bullying him for months. Why would she stop so easily?

But Satsuki understood why. She had been dealt a final blow by someone as weak as Satsuki standing up to her. Perhaps especially because Amane was always at the top, her pride was now in shreds. There was no coming back from it for as long as she is still in high school.
Satsuki, too, is determined not to succ.u.mb to Amane’s violence. She likely couldn’t do anything if her enemy was a man, but Amane is not. Just as long as Satsuki has the will to, she can oppose her sister.

“Yes. We settled our differences. She would likely get violent with me for as long as we’re still under the same roof, but once I graduate high school and I go to university, we will be complete strangers. She probably won’t b.u.t.t into my life anymore.”
“Will it be that simple? Living alone isn’t easy, y’know.”

Though Tooru may have experience over her, Satsuki shook her head at him. She’s not alone now. It was none other than Tooru who taught her that.

“Tooru.”
“Hmm?”
“I like you.”
“I know.”
“No, not like that…”

She took another slow, deliberate breath before looking at Tooru straight into his eyes.
Frankly, it was a little scary for her. But she believed that if she didn’t tell him straight, she’ll never get through to him.

“I like you, Tooru, as more than a friend.”

His eyes widened. Exactly as expected, Satsuki giggled.

Tooru is a nice guy. He didn’t look at girls that way. No matter how Jun and Akane set them up, no matter how straightforward Amane was, Tooru wouldn’t act upon it. It would probably be fair to call him a little thick.
That was exactly why she had to make him understand.

Satsuki got on her knees. Then, she lightly pressed her lips against Tooru’s lips and kissed him.
Exactly as expected again, Tooru’s face stiffens and turns red as a beet. Satsuki looked at him with love and spoke directly from her heart.

“I know you don’t really look at me that way. But that kiss was for me. I can’t hold back anymore. I know I like you and I can’t stop doing so.”

Tooru silently listened. He didn’t try to crack jokes, he didn’t reject her. He only listened.

“At first, we were just friends. But now, I like you this much already. I can’t imagine a future without you.”
“Satsuki…”
“So, please…”

Satsuki beamed brighter than she had ever.

“… be with me.”

There was no way Tooru would have expected all of this to happen with just sharing his scarf. Same goes for Satsuki. All she could do is wait for his response.

Tooru looked up and looked down, thinking. Then—he brushes his finger on Satsuki’s lips.

“You kissed me… right?”
“Yes.”
“You, Satsuki.”
“Yes.”

He muttered out question by question and she answered him question by question.
After clarifying things, Tooru slowly leaned over to embrace Satsuki. His arms were trembling. He really has had no experience with girls whatsoever, Satsuki idly thought.
She returned his hug and caressed his back. Tooru flinched slightly but didn’t reject her.
Then, she heard his voice right by her ear.

“Satsuki.”
“Yes.”
“I… still don’t know whether I can say I like you too. But I’m really, really happy hearing what you said. Honest.”

She knew he was being frank. She knew he was trying his best not to hurt her feelings.

“I’m just a high schooler. I don’t know the first thing of what it means to be with someone. But… if I get to be with you, I feel like I can take on the world.”

Tooru carefully wove his words and Satsuki’s tears fell.

“Tooru…”
“So, please… please be with me too.”

Her tears spilled down from her cheeks again. Satsuki clung onto Tooru and quietly cried into shoulder as he affectionately patted her back.
The two of them embraced each other until Satsuki’s stopped crying.

: // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // /ch022/ /next/