He Who Gets Slapped - novelonlinefull.com
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Excuse me--but what can I do for you?
GENTLEMAN
[_With the same pleasant, confident smile_]: Oh. You do something for me? No. I want to do something for you, Papa Briquet.
BRIQUET
_Papa_ Briquet? But you don't look like----
GENTLEMAN
[_Rea.s.suringly_]: It's all right. I shall become "like." These two gentlemen just made remarkable faces. Would you like to see me imitate them? Look! [_He makes the same silly faces as the clowns._]
BRIQUET
Yes! [_Involuntarily_] You are not drunk, sir?
GENTLEMAN
No. I don't drink as a rule. Do I look drunk?
POLLY
A little.
GENTLEMAN
No--I don't drink. It is a peculiarity of my talent.
BRIQUET
[_Familiarly_]: Where did you work before? Juggler?
GENTLEMAN
No. But I am glad you feel in me a comrade, Papa Briquet. Unfortunately I am not a juggler, and have worked nowhere--I am--just so.
MANCINI
But you look like a society man.
GENTLEMAN
Oh, you flatter me, Count. I am just so.
BRIQUET
Well, what do you want? You see I am obliged to tell you that everything is taken.
GENTLEMAN
That's immaterial. I want to be a clown, if you will allow me. [_Some of the actors smile_, BRIQUET _begins to grow angry_.]
BRIQUET
But what can you do? You're asking too much. What can you do?
GENTLEMAN
Why! Nothing! Isn't that funny! I can't do a thing.
BRIQUET
No, it's not funny. Any scoundrel knows that much.
GENTLEMAN
[_Rather helpless, but still smiling and looking around_]: We can invent something----
BRIQUET
[_Ironically_]: From literature?
[_The clown Jackson enters slowly without being noticed by the others.
He stands behind the gentlemen._]
GENTLEMAN
Yes, one can find something literary, too. A nice little speech for instance on, let's say, a religious topic. Something like a debate among the clowns.
BRIQUET
A debate! The devil! This is no academy.
GENTLEMAN
[_Sadly_]: I am very sorry. Something else then. Perhaps a joke about the creation of the world and its rulers?
BRIQUET
What about the police? No, no--nothing like that!
JACKSON
[_Coming forward_]: The rulers of the world? You don't like them? I don't either. Shake.
BRIQUET
[_Introducing_]: Our chief clown, the famous Jackson.
