Harper's Round Table, September 17, 1895 Part 14

VERY LIKELY.

"I can't understand why it is that the baby keeps putting his hands in his mouth all the time," said Bob.

"I guess he's trying to hold his tongue," suggested Mabel.

A SPAT AT THE MUSEUM.

"You are a fraud," cried the Fat Man to the Living Skeleton. "I can see through you."

"Of course you can," retorted the Living Skeleton. "That merely proves what a living skeleton I am."

HE WAS WONDERING.

"Mamma," said little Willie the other day, "don't some people think that when folks die they turn into animals and birds?"

"I believe so, Willie," replied his mother; "but why do you ask that question?"

"Only," said Willie, "because I was wondering if all the negroes turn into chicken-hawks."

CHOP LOGIC.

TILLIE. "A man who keeps a bakery is a baker, isn't he?"

BILLY. "Of course. And a man who keeps cellery is a seller, but a man who keeps a b.u.t.tery isn't a _b.u.t.ter_, is he?"

TOMMY'S NOSE.

TOMMY. "Papa, I wish you would buy me a set of boxing-gloves."

PAPA. "I'll do no such thing. Do you want to get your nose broken?"

TOMMY. "No; I only want to learn how to keep it from getting broken."

DREAMS.

MABEL. "Don't dreams always go by contraries?"

MAMMA. "I have heard so."

MABEL. "Well, last night I dreamed that I asked you for a piece of cake, and you wouldn't give it to me."

THE VENDER'S HORSE.

When little Rupert saw a vender's horse whose ribs were plainly visible the other day, he said to his nurse:

"Oh, Ellen, just look at the horse with corduroy skin!"

HIS OBJECTION.

"I simply wish we'd never had any American Revolution," sighed Tommy, after school the other day. "It's made my life miserable."

"How so?" asked his uncle.

"So many more history dates to remember," said Tom.

LIKE THE REST.

"Ah, Jack, I hear you go to kindergarten."

"Yes."

"What do you do there?"

"Oh--we make things."