Harper's Round Table, October 29, 1895 Part 15

=DEAFNESS & HEAD NOISES CURED= by my =INVISIBLE= Tubular Cushions. Have helped more to good =HEAR=ing than all other devices combined. Whispers =HEAR=d. Help ears as gla.s.ses do eyes. =F. Hisc.o.x=, 853 B'dway, N.Y.

Book of proofs =FREE=

[Ill.u.s.tration: If afflicted with SORE EYES USE Dr. ISAAC THOMPSON'S EYE WATER]

GRATEFUL--COMFORTING.

EPPS'S COCOA.

BREAKFAST--SUPPER.

"By a thorough knowledge of the natural laws which govern the operations of digestion and nutrition, and by a careful application of the fine properties of well-selected Cocoa, Mr. Epps has provided for our breakfast and supper a delicately flavored beverage which may save us many heavy doctors' bills. It is by the judicious use of such articles of diet that a const.i.tution may be gradually built up until strong enough to resist every tendency to disease. Hundreds of subtle maladies are floating around us ready to attack wherever there is a weak point.

We may escape many a fatal shaft by keeping ourselves well fortified with pure blood and a properly nourished frame."--_Civil Service Gazette._

Made simply with boiling water or milk. Sold only in half-pound tins, by Grocers, labelled thus:

JAMES EPPS & CO., Ltd., h.o.m.oeopathic Chemists, London, England.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

CARD PRINTER =FREE=

Sets any name in one minute; prints 500 cards an hour. YOU can make money with it. A font of pretty type, also Indelible Ink, Type Holder, Pads and Tweezers. Best Linen Marker; worth $1.00. Sample mailed FREE for 10c. stamps for postage on outfit and large catalogue of 1000 Bargains.

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[Ill.u.s.tration]

"When Christmas was Christmas."

"Seven Crown Jewels."

A precious collection it is, indeed, both of old and new, this "=Christmas in Song and Story=," with its nearly three hundred Songs and Hymns and Carols, each in its musical setting. "Where can another such garner be found, so rare, so choice, and so full?" Twenty-two full-page ill.u.s.trations, of Christmas subjects, from Nast to Raphael. The literary selections are long, but each is complete. "To have these seven crown jewels brought together into one diadem," says _Christian Culture_, "is alone worth more than is asked for the entire work, to say nothing of its rich setting both musical and pictorial." Large quarto, crimson cloth, $2.50. Address

Harper & Brothers, New York.

[Ill.u.s.tration: THRILLING EXPERIENCE OF TWO YOUNG HEATHENS WHO LEARNED TO SKATE.

I. THEY TIED THEIR QUEUES TOGETHER, SO THAT IF EITHER BROKE THROUGH HE WOULD BE RESCUED BY THE OTHER. II. IT SEEMED DELIGHTFUL UNTIL-- III. ONE OF THEM SLIPPED AND BOTH FELL; IV. BUT AFTER A LITTLE PRACTICE THEY GOT ON QUITE NICELY, WHEN-- V. THEY BOTH BROKE THROUGH, AND-- VI. THEIR CAUTION AND FORETHOUGHT PROVED THE MEANS OF SAVING THEIR LIVES.]

A TIMELESS TOWN.

The old proverb says that time was made for slaves. It is certainly true that it was not made for Alsacians, if the following story told by a traveller lately returned from Alsace be true. Says he: "On my return from Belchen, I looked upon the beautiful villages of the Lewen Valley, and being a tourist who likes to poke his nose into everything, I turned, by chance, into the church at Kirchberg. On coming out I took out my watch to regulate it by the clock in the church tower. But there was no clock to be seen. Hence I went into the village inn, and there asked the time. But my host could not oblige me. 'I can't tell you exactly, for, you see,' he said, 'we have no use for clocks. In the morning we go by the smoke rising from the chimney at the parsonage up on the hill. The parsonage people are very regular. We dine when dinner is ready. At 4 P.M. the whistle of the train coming from Ma.s.smunster tells us that the time has come for another meal, and at night we know that it is time to go to bed when it is dark. On Sunday we go to church when the bell rings. Our parson is a very easy-going man, and he doesn't mind beginning half an hour sooner or later."

FORCE OF HABIT.

Force of habit impels us to do a great many ridiculous things. That clever little compendium of wit and information, _t.i.t Bits_, well ill.u.s.trates this fact with a story of a railway porter, living in Lancashire, who was in the habit of frequently getting up in his sleep, and from whose actions it was evident that his daily occupation was ever present in his mind. One night he jumped up hurriedly, ran down to the kitchen, vigorously opened the oven door, and cried out, "Change here for Bolton, Bury, and Manchester."

A PROPER RETORT.

A good story is told of a self-respecting carpenter who was sent to make some repairs in a private house. As he entered the room in which the work was to be done, accompanied by his apprentice, the lady of the house called out, "Mary, see that my jewel-case is locked."

The carpenter understood, and, as he was an honest man, he was indignant. He had his opportunity, however, and he used it. He removed his watch and chain from his waistcoat with a significant air, and gave them to his apprentice.

"John," he said, "take these back to the shop. It seems that this house isn't safe."

SOMETHING WRONG.

It was a very cold morning, and Bobbie came rushing into the house very much excited.

"Mommer," he cried, "there's something the matter with me. Please send for the doctor. _I'm breathing fog!_"

A DOG STORY.

A London dog story is apt to be a hard sort of a tale to believe, but it is never lacking in interest. The latest is of a dog who takes a daily walk with its mistress. The animal has observed that at a certain crossing the policeman stops the traffic to allow his mistress to pa.s.s over. The other day the dog went out alone, and when he came to the crossing he barked to attract the policeman's attention. The policeman observed what the dog wanted. He stopped the traffic, and the dog walked solemnly across.