Happy Days Part 48

_As the curtain goes up two ladies are discovered in the morning-room of Honeysuckle Lodge engaged in work of a feminine nature._ Miss Alice Prendergast _is doing something delicate with a crochet-hook, but it is obvious that her thoughts are far away. She sighs at intervals and occasionally lays down her work and presses both hands to her heart. A sympathetic audience will have no difficulty in guessing that she is in love. On the other hand, her elder sister_, Miss Prendergast, _is completely wrapped up in a sock for one of the poorer cla.s.ses, over which she frowns formidably. The sock, however, has no real bearing upon the plot, and she must not make too much of it._

--Alice-- (_hiding her emotions_). Did you have a pleasant dinner-party last night, Jane?

--Jane-- (_to herself_). Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. (_Looking up._) Very pleasant indeed, Alice. The Blizzards were there, and the Podbys, and the Slumphs. (_These people are not important and should not be over-emphasised._) Mrs. Podby's maid has given notice.

--Alice.-- Who took you in?

--Jane-- (_brightening up_). Such an interesting man, my dear. He talked most agreeably about Art during dinner, and we renewed the conversation in the drawing-room. We found that we agreed upon all the main principles of Art, considered as such.

--Alice-- (_with a look in her eyes which shows that she is recalling a tender memory_). When I was in Shropshire last week---- What was your man's name?

--Jane-- (_with a warning glance at the audience_). You know how difficult it is to catch names when one is introduced. I am certain he never heard mine. (_As the plot depends partly upon this, she pauses for it to sink in._) But I enquired about him afterwards, and I find that he is a Mr.----

_Enter_ Mary, _the parlourmaid._

--Mary-- (handing letter). A letter for you, Miss.

--Jane-- (_taking it_). Thank you, Mary. (_Exit_ Mary _to work up her next line._) A letter! I wonder who it is from! (_Reading the envelope._) "Miss Prendergast, Honeysuckle Lodge." (_She opens it with the air of one who has often received letters before, but feels that this one may play an important part in her life._) "Dear Miss Prendergast, I hope you will pardon the presumption of what I am about to write to you, but whether you pardon me or not, I ask you to listen to me. I know of no woman for whose talents I have a greater admiration or for whose qualities I have a more sincere affection than yourself. Since I have known you, you have been the lodestar of my existence, the fountain of my inspiration. I feel that, were your life joined to mine, the joint path upon which we trod would be the path to happiness, such as I have as yet hardly dared to dream of. In short, dear Miss Prendergast, I ask you to marry me, and I will come in person for my answer. Yours truly (_in a voice of intense surprise_) Jas. Bootle!"

(_At the word "Bootle" a wave of warm colour rushes over Alice and dyes her from neck to brow. If she is not an actress of sufficient calibre to ensure this, she must do the best she can by starting abruptly and putting her hand to her throat._)

--Alice-- (_aside, in a choking voice_). Mr. Bootle! In love with Jane!

--Jane.-- My dear! The man who took me down to dinner! Well!

--Alice-- (_picking up her work again and trying to be calm_). What will you say?

--Jane-- (_rather pleased with herself_). Well, really--I--this is--Mr.

Bootle! Fancy!

--Alice-- (_starting up_). Was that a ring? (_She frowns at the prompter and a bell is heard to ring._) It is Mr. Bootle! I know his ring, I mean I know---- Dear, I think I will go and lie down. I have a headache.

(_She looks miserably at the audience, closes her eyes, and goes off with her handkerchief to her mouth, taking care not to fall over the furniture._)

_Enter_ Mary, _followed by James Bootle._

--Mary.-- Mr. Bootle. (_Exit finally._)

--Jane.-- Good morning, Mr. Bootle.

--Bootle.-- I beg--I thought--why, of course! It's Miss--er--h'm, yes. How do you do? Did you get back safely last night?

--Jane.-- Yes, thank you. (_Coyly._) I got your letter.

--Bootle.-- My letter? (_Sees his letter on the table. Furiously._) You opened my letter!

--Jane-- (_mistaking his fury for pa.s.sion_). Yes, James. And (_looking down on the ground_) the answer is "Yes."

--Bootle-- (_realising the situation_). By George! (_Aside._) I have proposed to the wrong lady. Tchck!

--Jane.-- You may kiss me, James.

--Bootle.-- Have you a sister?

--Jane-- (_missing the connection_). Yes, I have a younger sister, Alice.

(_Coldly._) But I hardly see----

--Bootle-- (_beginning to understand how he made the mistake_). A younger sister! Then you are Miss Prendergast? And my letter--Ah!

_Enter_ Alice.

--Alice.-- You are wanted, Jane, a moment.

--Jane.-- Will you excuse me, Mr. Bootle?

(_Exit._)

--Bootle-- (_to Alice, as she follows her sister out_). Don't go!

--Alice-- (_wanly, if she knows how_). Am I to stay and congratulate you?

--Bootle.-- Alice! (_They approach the footlights, while_ Jane, _having finished her business, comes in un.o.bserved and watches from the back._) It is all a mistake! I didn't know your Christian name--I didn't know you had a sister. The letter I addressed to Miss Prendergast I meant for Miss Alice Prendergast.

--Alice.-- James! My love! But what can we do?

--Bootle-- (_gloomily_). Nothing. As a man of honour I cannot withdraw. So two lives are ruined!

--Alice.-- You are right, James. Jane must never know. Good-bye!

(_They give each other a farewell embrace._)

--Jane-- (_aside_). They love. (_Fiercely._) But he is mine; I will hold him to his promise! (_Picking up a photograph of Alice as a small child from an occasional table._) Little Alice! And I promised to take care of her--to protect her from the cruel world. Baby Alice! (_She puts her handkerchief to her eyes._) No! I will not spoil two lives! (_Aloud._) Why good-bye, Alice?

(Bootle _and_ Alice, _who have been embracing all this time, unless they can think of something else to do, break away in surprise._)

--Alice.-- Jane--we--I----

--Jane-- (_calmly_). Dear Alice! I understand perfectly. Mr. Bootle said in his letter to you that he was coming for his answer, and I see what answer you have given him. (_To_ Bootle.) You remember I told you it would be "Yes." I know my little sister, you see.

--Bootle-- (_tactlessly_). But--you told me I could kiss you!

--Jane-- (_smiling_). And I tell you again now. I believe it is usual for men to kiss their sisters-in-law? (_She offers her cheek._ Bootle, _whose day it is, salutes her respectfully._) And now (_gaily_) perhaps I had better leave you young people alone!

(_Exit, with a backward look at the audience expressive of the fact that she has been wearing the mask._)

--Bootle.-- Alice, then you are mine, after all!