Handy Andy Volume Ii Part 36

"You see, sir," said Goggins, "in the first place, it is quite beautiful to see the mind in adversity bearing up against the little antediluvian afflictions that will happen occasionally, and then how fine it is to remark the spark of generosity that kindles in the n.o.ble heart and rushes to the a.s.sistance of the dest.i.tute! I do a.s.sure you, sir, it is a most beautiful sight to see the gentlemen in defficulties waitin' here for their friends to come to their relief, like the last scene in Blue Beard, where sister Ann waves her han'kerchief from the tower --the tyrant is slain--and virtue rewarded!

"Ah, sir!" said he to Edward O'Connor, whose look of disgust at the wretched den caught the bailiff's attention, "don't entertain an antifa.s.sy from first imprissions, which is often desaivin'. I do pledge you my honour, sir, there is no place in the 'varsal world where human nature is visible in more attractive colours than in this humble retrait."

Edward could not conceal a smile at the fellow's absurdity, though his sense of the ridiculous could not overcome the disgust with which the place inspired him. He gave an admonitory touch to the elbow of d.i.c.k Dawson, who, with his friend Tom Durfy, followed Edward from the room, the bailiff bringing up the rear, and relocking the door on the unfortunate James Reddy, who was left "alone in his glory," to finish his slashing article against the successful men of the day. Nothing more than words of recognition had pa.s.sed between Reddy and Edward. In the first place, Edward's appearance at the very moment the other was indulging in illiberal observations upon him rendered the ill-tempered poetaster dumb; and Edward attributed this distance of manner to a feeling of shyness which Reddy might entertain at being seen in such a place, and therefore had too much good breeding to thrust his civility on a man who seemed to shrink from it; but when he left the house he expressed his regret to his companions at the poor fellow's unfortunate situation.

It touched Tom Durfy's heart to hear these expressions of compa.s.sion coming from the lips of the man he had heard maligned a few minutes before by the very person commiserated, and it raised his opinion higher of Edward, whose hand he now shook with warm expressions of thankfulness on his own account, for the prompt service rendered to him. Edward made as light of his own kindness as he could, and begged Tom to think nothing of such a trifle.

"One word I will say to you, Durfy, and I'm sure you'll pardon me for it."

"Could you say a thing to offend me?" was the answer.

"You are to be married soon, I understand?"

"To-morrow," said Tom.

"Well, my dear Durfy, if you owe any more money, take a real friend's advice, and tell your pretty good-hearted widow the whole amount of your debts before you marry her."

"My dear O'Connor," said Tom, "the money you've lent me now is all I owe in the world; 't was a tailor's bill, and I quite forgot it. You know, no one ever thinks of a tailor's bill. Debts, indeed!" added Tom, with surprise; "my dear fellow, I never could be much in debt, for the devil a one would trust me."

"An excellent reason for your unenc.u.mbered state," said Edward, "and I hope you pardon me."

"Pardon!" exclaimed Tom, "I esteem you for your kind and manly frankness."

In the course of their progress towards d.i.c.k's lodgings, Edward reverted to James Reddy's wretched condition, and found it was but some petty debt for which he was arrested. He lamented, in common with d.i.c.k and Tom, the infatuation which made him desert a duty he could profitably perform by a.s.sisting his father in his farming concerns, to pursue a literary path, which could never be any other to him than one of thorns.

As Edward had engaged to meet Gusty in an hour, he parted from his companions and pursued his course alone. But, instead of proceeding immediately homeward, he retraced his steps to the den of the bailiff and gave a quiet tap at the door. Mister Goggins himself answered to the knock, and began a loud and florid welcome to Edward, who stopped his career of eloquence by laying a finger on his lip in token of silence. A few words sufficed to explain the motive of his visit.

He wished to ascertain the sum for which the gentleman up-stairs was detained. The bailiff informed him; and the money necessary to procure the captive's liberty was placed in his hand.

The bailiff cast one of his melodramatic glances at Edward, and said, "Didn't I tell you, sir, this was the place for calling out the n.o.blest feelings of human nature?"

"Can you oblige me with writing materials?" said Edward.

"I can, sir," said Goggins, proudly, "and with other _materials_ too, if you like--and 'pon my honour, I'll be proud to drink your health, for you're a raal gintleman." [Footnote: The name given in Ireland to the necessary materials for the compounding of whisky-punch.]

Edward, in the civilest manner, declined the offer, and wrote, or rather tried to write, the following note, with a pen like a skewer, ink something thicker than mud, and on whity-brown paper:--

"DEAR SIR,--I hope you will pardon the liberty I have taken in your temporary want of money. You can repay me at your convenience. Yours,

"E. O'C."

Edward left the den, and so did James Reddy soon after--a better man.

Though weak, his heart was not shut to the humanities of life--and Edward's kindness, in opening his eyes to the wrong he had done _one_ man, induced in his heart a kinder feeling towards all. He tore up his slashing article against successful men. Would that every disappointed man would do the same.

The bailiff was right: even so low a den as his becomes enn.o.bled by the presence of active benevolence and prejudice reclaimed.

CHAPTER XLVII

Edward, on returning to his hotel, found Gusty there before him, in great delight at having seen a "splendid" horse, as he said, which had been brought for Edward's inspection, he having written a note on his arrival in town to a dealer stating his want of a first-rate hunter.

"He's in the stable now," said Gusty; "for I desired the man to wait, knowing you would be here soon."

"I cannot see him now, Gusty," said Edward: "will you have the kindness to tell the groom I can look at the horse in his own stables when I wish to purchase?"

Gusty departed to do the message, somewhat in wonder, for Edward loved a fine horse. But the truth was, Edward's disposable money, which he had intended for the purchase of a hunter, had a serious inroad made upon it by the debts he had discharged for other men, and he was forced to forego the pleasure he had proposed to himself in the next hunting season; and he did not like to consume any one's time, or raise false expectations, by affecting to look at disposable property with the eye of a purchaser, when he knew it was beyond his reach; and the flimsy common-places of "I'll think of it," or "If I don't see something better," or any other of the twenty hackneyed excuses which idle people make, after consuming busy men's time, Edward held to be unworthy. He could ride a hack and deny himself hunting for a whole season, but he would not unnecessarily consume the useful time of any man for ten minutes.

This may be sneered at by the idle and thoughtless; nevertheless, it is a part of the minor morality which is ever present in the conduct of a true gentleman.

Edward had promised to join d.i.c.k's dinner-party on an impromptu invitation, and the clock striking the appointed hour warned Edward it was time to be off; so, jumping up on a jaunting car, he rattled off to d.i.c.k's lodgings, where a jolly party was a.s.sembled ripe for fun.

Amongst the guests was a rather remarkable man, a Colonel Crammer, who had seen a monstrous deal of service--one of Tom Durfy's friends whom he had asked leave to bring with him to dinner. Of course, d.i.c.k's card and a note of invitation for the gallant colonel were immediately despatched; and he had but just arrived before Edward, who found a bustling sensation in the room as the colonel was presented to those already a.s.sembled, and Tom Durfy giving whispers, aside, to each person touching his friend; such as --"Very remarkable man"--"Seen great service"--"A little odd or so"--"A fund of most extraordinary anecdote," &c., &c.

Now this Colonel Crammer was no other than Tom Loftus, whose acquaintance d.i.c.k wished to make, and who had been invited to the dinner after a preliminary visit; but Tom sent an excuse in his own name, and preferred being present under a fict.i.tious one--this being one of the odd ways in which his humour broke out, desirous of giving people a "touch of his quality" before they knew him. He was in the habit of a.s.suming various characters; a methodist missionary--the patentee of some unheard-of invention--the director of some new joint-stock company--in short, anything which would give him an opportunity of telling tremendous bouncers was equally good for Tom. His reason for a.s.suming a military guise on this occasion was to bother Moriarty, whom he knew he should meet, and held a special reason for tormenting; and he knew he could achieve this, by throwing all the stories Moriarty was fond of telling about his own service into the shade, by extravagant inventions of "hair-breadth 'scapes" and feats by "flood and field." Indeed, the dinner would not be worth mentioning but for the extraordinary capers Tom cut on the occasion, and the unheard-of lies he squandered.

Dinner was announced by Andy, and with good appet.i.te soup and fish were soon despatched; sherry followed as a matter of necessity. The second course appeared, and was not long under discussion when d.i.c.k called for the "champagne."

Andy began to drag the tub towards the table, and d.i.c.k, impatient of delay, again called "champagne."

"I'm bringin' it to you, sir," said Andy, tugging at the tub.

"Hand it round the table," said d.i.c.k.

Andy tried to lift the tub, "to hand it round the table;" but, finding he could not manage it, he whispered to d.i.c.k, "I can't get it up, sir."

d.i.c.k, fancying Andy meant he had got a flask not in a sufficient state of effervescence to expel its own cork, whispered in return, "Draw it, then."

"I was dhrawin' it to you, sir, when you stopped me."

"Well, make haste with it," said d.i.c.k.

"Mister Dawson, I'll trouble you for a small slice of the turkey," said the colonel.

"With pleasure, colonel; but first do me the honour to take champagne.

Andy--champagne!"

"Here it is, sir!" said Andy, who had drawn the tub close to d.i.c.k's chair.

"Where's the wine, sir?" said d.i.c.k, looking first at the tub and then at Andy. "There, sir," said Andy, pointing down to the ice. "I put the wine into it, as you towld me."

d.i.c.k looked again at the tub, and said, "There is not a single bottle there--what do you mean, you stupid rascal?"

"To be sure, there's no bottle there, sir. The bottles is all on the sideboord, but every dhrop o' the wine is in the ice, as you towld me, sir; if you put your hand down into it, you'll feel it, sir."

The conversation between master and man growing louder as it proceeded attracted the attention of the whole company, and those near the head of the table became acquainted as soon as d.i.c.k with the mistake Andy had made, and could not resist laughter; and as the cause of their merriment was told from man to man, and pa.s.sed round the board, a roar of laughter uprose, not a little increased by d.i.c.k's look of vexation, which at length was forced to yield to the infectious merriment around him, and he laughed with the rest, and making a joke of the disappointment, which is the very best way of pa.s.sing one off, he said that he had the honour of originating at his table a magnificent scale of hospitality; for though he had heard of company being entertained with a whole hogshead of claret, he was not aware of champagne being ever served in a tub before. The company were too determined to be merry to have their pleasantry put out of tune by so trifling a mishap, and it was generally voted that the joke was worth twice as much as the wine. Nevertheless, d.i.c.k could not help casting a reproachful look now and then at Andy, who had to run the gauntlet of many a joke cut at his expense, while he waited upon the wags at dinner, and caught a lowly muttered anathema whenever he pa.s.sed near d.i.c.k's chair. In short, master and man were both glad when the cloth was drawn, and the party could be left to themselves.