Hadda Pada Part 10

INGOLF [stops]. Look, there are the children gathering berries. ... Do you see Hrafnhild?

KRISTRUN. No, but I see Helga walking toward them.

INGOLF. I wonder if Hrafnhild is down in the hollow?

KRISTRUN. Perhaps she is.

INGOLF. We won't pa.s.s there then. Let's rest here for a moment. [Sits down.]

KRISTRUN. You act as if Hrafnhild were still your sweetheart.

INGOLF. What do you mean?

KRISTRUN. I thought you wanted to show me the greater consideration. But it is quite the contrary. Sometimes you are positively hard to me, just to spare Hrafnhild every conceivable annoyance.

INGOLF. Do you remember the day after--. When she walked around trying to smile to every one. She was like a sick b.u.t.terfly. You didn't complain then that I was too considerate to her.

KRISTRUN [disregarding his remark]. You and she--you wear the rings--you are the lovers in every one's opinion! And I have to endure it.

INGOLF. You gave your consent for us to wear the rings till we leave here.

KRISTRUN. My consent, yes! If it is a consent that you made me pity her.

I don't think she needs any pity now.

INGOLF. Yes, it is very strange,--to-day, to-day and yesterday she has been tingling with joy.

KRISTRUN [sitting down]. Now you can see how deeply her love touched her. After ONE week she's as though nothing had ever happened.

INGOLF. Hrafnhild is proud by nature. She would never let it be seen that an unfortunate love affair could make her miserable.

KRISTRUN. Yes, SHE is proud by nature, she is everything fine.--And I--I am nothing. [Tears in her eyes.]

INGOLF. You are the loveliest woman in the world. [Embraces her.]

HADDA PADDA [appears between the bushes, seeing them she stops an instant, then goes toward them]. I didn't know you were here.

INGOLF [gets up]. We have just come from the falls.

HADDA PADDA. And I was just gathering berries. Aren't my lips blue?...

Why are you so silent, Runa, dear?

KRISTRUN [does not answer].

HADDA PADDA [in a changed voice]. I am going away to-morrow.

INGOLF. Going away to-morrow?

KRISTRUN. Going away--?

HADDA PADDA. I leave to-morrow. I'm going with Helga.--Let us part friends.--I have only one thing to say to you before I go.

INGOLF. What is that?

HADDA PADDA. You may feel safe now. I won't be the shadow in your sunny path.... I don't love you any longer, Ingolf. [Ingolf and Kristrun look at her amazed.]

HADDA PADDA. Nor do I bear you a grudge... that is why I can tell you this.

INGOLF. I always knew you were high-minded, Hrafnhild, but--

HADDA PADDA. And Runa, dear, won't we be the same friendly sisters we have always been? [Strokes her hair.] Do you want to see that I love you as much as ever? [Takes her hand.] Come, let me take you in my arms.

KRISTRUN [bursting into tears, she throws herself into Hadda's arms].

Hadda, dear--

HADDA PADDA [presses Kristrun violently to her breast].

KRISTRUN [throwing her head back]. Hadda, Hadda, you are hurting me!

HADDA PADDA [lets go of her--turns to Ingolf]. And now I would like to speak to you for a moment. May I?

INGOLF. Yes, certainly.

HADDA PADDA, Oh, there's Helga. She is looking for me, Runa, dear, may I say a few words to Ingolf? You meet Helga, and start for home with her, won't you?

KRISTRUN. I'll do that, Hadda. [Hurries away.]

HADDA PADDA [sits down]. I think I have discovered that you don't really enjoy your new happiness. That is why I want to talk to you.

INGOLF. You have told me all I want to hear.

HADDA PADDA [involuntarily frowning a moment]. It is strange how proud the imagination can be, pretending to be a strong reality. If I had really loved you at all, I would still. I do not. So long as you were free, I made myself believe I had a certain claim to you. But once you were engaged to any one else, the same thing would have happened?--I should have forgotten you in a week.

INGOLF. You need not tell me this, I know it.

HADDA PADDA. What do you know?

INGOLF. I know that you deny your own heart for the sake of others.

HADDA PADDA. Now you think too highly of both of us. I am not so good as you would make me, and it is not so difficult to forget you as you imagine.--You won't believe that I have succeeded in forgetting you.

Won't you believe, either, that I have made every effort to do it?

The day before yesterday I locked myself in my room, and took out your letters to see whether I could bear to read them. I wanted to test myself,--you know I like to get to the very heart of things. Well, I read letter after letter. It is a remarkable power that is given to a trivial matter. If I had not read the letters, I might still have felt unhappy, but I read and read with ever increasing calmness. I don't believe my feelings. I go walking, searching for all the places where the earth must be scorched with burning pleasures, in order to know whether they enkindle memories so sacred that they can again inflame me. Everything, everything, is extinguished. What is the matter, little Hadda? Does everything leave you cold? Is this death perhaps? And a mixed feeling of joy and pain seizes me, for this came so unexpected--it came so unexpected--it came so unexpected--

INGOLF. What is the matter, Hrafnhild? Are you ill? You are so excited.

Why are you so eager to tell me all this?

HADDA PADDA. Because I don't want you to think I am making any sacrifice. You think so, but I am not.

INGOLF. I understand.