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"Since the rain, he's been on the other side of the world. You know how it is for him when someone feels only one thing. He feels the full extent of that. Sometimes it's more than he can handle. Only way he could function is to get some distance. Emmy's pain is so concentrated-"
"I know about her pain, Jay."
"My bad," he says, walking off.
I text Miku and tell her to take credit should Emmy ask who did it. Miku tells me I should stay away. She says it's unhealthy for me to watch Emmy suffer. She thinks it's a way of torturing myself. I don't know if she's right or not. I'm not sure it matters. I'm not sure anything matters really.
Days later, after feeding Ms. Charlotte, I walk into the room, invisible as usual, and find Emmy on the phone. It's only now I realize how much I miss hearing her voice. Does this mean she's okay now?
Are you okay after only a few days?
I ask myself. But this is different. Emmy is strong. In many ways, she's stronger than me. She just doesn't know it. I listen carefully to her conversation.
"No, not later. I need to see you now. Please, Rio?"
She waits for his response.
"Great. Thank you!" She puts the phone down and bites her lip. I know what she wants to ask him. She's about to be hurt yet again.
d.a.m.n...
Half an hour later, Rio comes over to Emmy's apartment. He knows I'm there because he reads my Waves in the room.
"I'm thinking maybe Marcus is under some kind of spell. Ya know like something someone found at the Market?"
"He's not," Rio says gently.
"How do you know?"
"The Market doesn't really deal with matters of love."
"Oh. Maybe he's just afraid because we won't be able to spend more than a day together. And maybe he doesn't want me to be alone."
"That's not it."
"Then what is it?"
"He loves Ameana."
"Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure?"
"Yes. I'm sorry."
"Does he have any feelings for me?"
"He cares about you-a lot."
"You know what I mean."
"No, he doesn't love you anymore."
"Thank you for being honest with me, Rio."
Rio takes her hand and sits beside her in bed.
"How are you?" he asks her.
"Don't you know already?"
"Yeah. But it's rude not to ask."
"I'm okay. You guys are sweet to bring me food and stuff. Thank you."
He raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything.
"I feel so...unwanted."
"You're not unwanted. We love you. You know what an unbelievably great person you are, right? You helped save billions of lives."
"Yeah."
"C'mon, let me take you out."
"Another time," she says, as she crawls back into bed.
Rio heads out the door. I appear before him in the hallway.
"Marcus, it's not fair to her. Let the girl grieve in peace," Rio insists.
"I just want her to be okay."
"Well, that's not gonna happen. You broke her heart. I know the reasons you did it. That doesn't change the fact that she has to go through this. Give the girl some privacy. d.a.m.n."
Rio doesn't usually get p.i.s.sed off. I guess he sees something in her Wave that tells him she really needs to be alone. I nod and take off to the Green Mountains.
Once there, I sit on the highest peak and look down at the world below.
"Angels make horrible suicide jumpers," Jay says.
"Who told you I was here?"
"Rio."
Jay sits beside me.
"You remember the last time we were here? You were beef'n with Ameana?" he offers.
"Yeah. Guess I always sucked in relationships."
"Well, you ain't got skillz like the kid," he brags.
"I destroyed her."
"You know what I learned about Emmy? Never ever count that girl out."
"That's true."
"She survived the Akons and Lucy. I think she'll survive being in love."
"At least one of us will," I joke.
"C'mon, let's go play some Runner Ball. We leave earth in a few hours. We should get some play time in. After that, we need to talk about the Triplets."
"What about them?"
"Well, I was wondering why-you know what? Screw it. Let's go play some ball."
I reluctantly agree and the two of us fly back to the hotel to see if the others want to join in. We round up the rest of the Guardians. Suddenly the thought of playing Runner Ball excites me. I need something, anything to shake the misery of the past few days.
As we gather in the living room of the deluxe suite, there is a knock on the door. Miku goes to answer it. When she comes up the stairs, Emmy is behind her.
"Hi guys," she says. Her voice is soft and slightly hoa.r.s.e.
Everyone greets her except Ameana. Emmy turns her attention towards me.
"I was gonna check on you but I thought you needed s.p.a.ce," I say, sounding way too eager.
"No need to check up on me."
"Yeah I know, I just...I'm glad you're okay. Look if you want to talk..."
"I don't need to talk. I just needed to stop off and give you this."
She hands me a gla.s.s casing with red liquid inside it.
"You're giving me my Rah back?"
"Yes. You'll need it for..."
"Wait. You don't have to give it back to me right now."
"Yeah, I do..."
She extends her hand once again. I take it from her. She heads out the door.
"Emmy..." I call out to her desperately.
She stops but doesn't turn around. She simply says the words I've dreaded hearing since I first laid eyes on her.
"Goodbye, Marcus."
CHAPTER NINETEEN: GOING HOME.
It's our last day on earth. There's sadness in the air. I don't think any of us thought we'd come to miss humans or earth itself. We just a.s.sumed we'd save the world and never look back. We were wrong about that. In fact, we were wrong about a lot of things.
I allow everyone to spend their last day anyway they want to. Rio is off traveling somewhere on the other side of the world. Jay and Isabelle will continue to see each other in the Light so leaving isn't as difficult for him, although I know he's gotten very close to Emmy and he hates to say goodbye to her.
Miku and Ameana are off giving their designer clothes to Goodwill and other charities. Jay had to give Siren away. If he could cry, I think he would have. The only saving grace was that he was able to give it away to a family desperately in need of money.
They all call to check up on me through out the day. They ask if I need company. I tell them I'm okay. They are nice enough to pretend to believe me. And even if I was to be honest with them, what could they do for me? What can anyone do for me?
They ask where I am and I tell them I'm playing Runner Ball with a few Ground Walkers. Rio, being Rio, knows I'm lying but that's the great thing about him, he acts like he can't read your Wave sometimes.
So, where am I?
I have no idea. I'm surrounded by mountains from every angle. I can't even remember how it is I got here. I've been lost in thought ever since she came over...
I thought no matter what happened I would be spending my last day on earth near her. I could take "No See" Snaps and be with her all day. But it turns out there is a limit to how much pain a First Guardian can take.
I didn't reach my breaking point with the The Hun, Rage, or Kairo. The one that broke me weighs about a hundred and fifteen pounds, has no powers, and can't fly. Yet she was able to bring me to a place of total despair.
I can't stand to be in the same hemisphere she is. Let alone the same room. I can't stand to be around her beautiful eyes, soft lips, and enduring smile. I know I hurt her beyond reason, I just didn't think she'd give me my Rah back. Why didn't she fight for us like Ameana did?
Because you betrayed her, embarra.s.sed her and broke her heart, and all she did was love you unconditionally.
I tell myself that we would have parted anyway but it does little to ease my mind. We knew it would end eventually but we were supposed to have the last few days. We were supposed to be together until the final seconds before midnight.
There's a question she asked a while back. It's a question I'm asking myself now: Do I have any regrets? If I could go back to that moment in the living room when I first saw her - messy hair, cartoon T-shirt and all, would I change anything?
If I could somehow make it so that none of it ever happened, would I? If I knew this kind of devastation was possible when love doesn't work, would I still have fallen?
Yes. Idiot.