Guardians: The Girl Part 8

"What about Siren?"

"I've thought about stopping him from taking the cars, but he's like a kid when he first gets them. I can't bring myself to tell him to take them back. He goes through about five cars every few weeks. But Siren is his favorite."

"How do you guys get away with having so much?"

"Most people make up their own theory about us; students from other countries with rich parents or that sort of thing. Every once in a while we have someone who wants to know everything. So, we send Jay to suggest they never inquire about us again. He doesn't like doing it, but we can't just put out a banner saying, Angels here."

"You can't be under the radar with these cars," I reason.

"Jay says so long as he's chasing Runners he might as well do so in style. According to him, life is too short to drive a hatchback."

"I guess it makes sense."

"When we first got here, Jay was tracking a Runner. They went a few short rounds and Jay killed him. Then he went around the block opening car doors in order to find which one belonged to the now deceased Runner. Turns out the Runner had just lost everything and the only thing he could afford was a 1988 Daewoo Charade. It was so broken down that Jay had to call Ameana to come and use her powers to get the car inside the garage," Marcus recounts, enjoying the memory.

I laugh along with him. "How long did it take him to find a new Runner whose car he could take?"

"Only a few days, but you should have seen the look on his face when he needed a screwdriver to start the car. Reese would stop recharging just to go over to the window and watch Jay kick, scream and threaten the car to work. It became a test of wills."

"And the car won?"

"Every time."

I laugh so much my eyes fill with water.

I lean back into the cozy crimson leather interior and enjoy the heated seats and leg room. "This is kind of nice," I admit.

We drive the rest of the way in a comfortable silence, like two people who have known each other a long time. It doesn't take long to get home. It would have taken half as long if Jay were driving because Jay doesn't believe in things like stop signs and red lights.

Once we pull up to my building, it begins to snow. The light flakes fall on to the windshield and melt away quickly. I'm mesmerized by their random pattern. They don't know where they'll fall, they just go along with the wind.

I am too busy looking out the window to hear him call my name. He touches my arm.

"We're here," he says.

"Sorry, I s.p.a.ced out."

"What were you thinking about?"

"The snow. It's beautiful. But it has to give itself into the wind and go any which way the wind blows."

"That's what makes it beautiful. They trust each other," he hints.

"Well, that old lady trusted the locks on the bathroom door and look what happened to her," I joke.

He laughs, "Yeah, that could not have been pretty."

I lean in closer and shift my head to the side. My lips make contact with his. I press slightly into him. His lips are the softest thing on this planet. And even though it is cold outside, they are warm and impossibly delicious. I am certain I'll never pull away from him without help.

As if reading my mind, he gently pulls away from me. I open my eyes and look at him. I'm expecting to see any number of emotions-shock, confusion, maybe even a smile. But what I see on his face is something I could not have prepared for: outright disapproval.

My face crumbles, panic washes over me. I run out of the car. He calls my name, but I keep running. I go to my room and flop down on the bed. Ms. Charlotte curls up with me. I cry until we both fall asleep.

I wake up wanting to put last night out of my head. So it stands to reason that everything I do reminds me of last night. I try not to replay the horrible moment, but it's really out of my control.

It's Sat.u.r.day morning and everything in my house is screaming "loser." My toaster did it when it popped up with the bread. My kitten slippers keep squeaking "loser" every time they hit the floor. I take a spoon of my alphabet cereal and it spells "loser." Okay, it didn't spell out "Loser" but it did spell out "Uoser" which is close enough.

I've never been in love. I don't know if I am now, but whatever this is, it hurts. And according to like a billion love songs, if it hurts, it's love. I am completely ill-equipped for this.

I can't believe I kissed him. How could I have been so stupid and crazy? I go back to that point in my head every ten seconds. The car, the story about Jay, the snow and then....

I shudder at the memory yet again. How embarra.s.sing. How truly mortifying to kiss someone who so obviously doesn't want you. I could move away. Yes, I could go far away and never step foot in New York City again. Where would I go? Kansas. Yes, Kansas. No one ever says, "Hey, let's leave New York to go to Kansas." That means no one I know will move there.

Shoot, there is the slight matter of saving the world. That might slow down my attempt to start a new life. Okay, so I'll stay to help save the world and then change my name and move to Kansas. Good plan.

I realize that I will some day live down the rejection. But what I won't live down is kissing another girl's boyfriend. Ameana is not the warmest girl in the world, but I had no right to do what I did. I have to tell her. There's no way around it.

I never thought of myself as this person. I'm no angel by any means, but I'd like to think that I'm a nice person. I've helped an old lady across the street. I've carried groceries up a flight of stairs for a mom who had her hands full with a stroller.

But now I'm Hester Prynne, and I've got that nice scarlet letter branded on me. Granted, I'm the one doing the branding, but that makes it hurt all the more.

What I find most appalling and would never say aloud to another living soul is this: I would do it again. The few seconds our lips touched were the best I've ever known. That makes me the worst kind of offender, the kind who repeats her offense at the first opportunity.

There is a knock at the door. "Who is it?' I say, peering into the peephole. Reese stands on the other side looking like his usual J. Crew self. I open the door.

He smiles and says, "So, you're alive?"

"Kind of."

"Can I come in?" he asks. I let him by and go over to the sofa. Usually I'm a better host than that, but today I can't muster up the strength. I curl into a ball on the sofa and leave some s.p.a.ce for Reese to join me.

"Did you come for more interrogation? Or did Marcus send you to make sure I don't attack him again?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Last night. I'm sure it's all over the house, all over Manhattan, all over the planet. Heck, I'm sure even the council is talking about it, by the council water cooler. 'Hey, Death, did you see how Emmy made a fool of herself?' 'Yeah, Fate and I were just laughing about it over doughnuts.'"

"Death doesn't eat. Neither does Fate. But Time has been known to nibble."

Great, angel humor.

"Marcus didn't say anything?" I ask desperately.

"No, he just told me to check on you because Miku is recharging and Jay and Rio are watching the building."

"And Ameana, where is she?"

"I'm not sure. She and Marcus may have gone to meet the Sage."

"The what?"

"A Sage is-"

"Reese, normally I would want to know, but today, can we skip Angel 101, please?"

"Okay. Then tell me why you aren't picking up your phone? Marcus says he's tried you like 20 times."

I look up at him. Standing just a few feet away, he looks so confident and sure of everything. I wish that it was me.

"Emmy, what happened?"

He comes and sits next to me.

I sit up and face him. "I did something really bad?"

"How bad?"

The tears fall from my face. Tears I didn't even feel building up. Reese pulls me closer. I hold on to him and weep.

"I've seen a lot of stuff since I've been dead. And the things that seem really bad usually aren't."

"I kissed him."

"Oh."

"He pushed me away."

Reese looks off into the distance. "Did he say anything?"

"No, he just looked...." The tears start back up. Reese holds me even closer.

"It's okay, Emmy. It's okay," he says soothingly.

"Don't tell Ameana."

"You want me to keep that from her?"

"No, I think I should confess my crimes on my own. That's what the person I thought I was would do."

"Ameana isn't as ... hard edge as you might think. She's just ... she's been through a lot and it makes her focused, serious and absolutely no fun. But that doesn't mean she's cold and unforgiving. I mean she was chosen to be a guardian out of a hundred-thousand others."

"I didn't know there were that many."

"Yeah, it's a real zoo," he smiles.

"You think he hates me?"

"No, but you are acting like this is a normal situation and it's not. There's no way for it to be other than messy and sometimes heartbreaking," he explains.

"Tell me honestly, am I the most pathetic girl you've ever seen?" I can't stop myself from inquiring.

"Yes," he says stoically.

I playfully jab at his side.

"Okay, okay. There's someone else that I know who was actually more love sick and pathetic than you."

"Who?"

"Me."

"Yeah, right," I say incredulously.

"Emmy, when I was on Earth I lived for two things: Fishing and Katie-Anne Warner." Reese sighs. "She was the most beautiful girl in the entire state of Illinois. I believed in my heart that I was put on this Earth to be with her. So everything I did was centered on making that happen.

"The list of guys after her was never-ending. She didn't need to ask for anything because every guy was already waiting to serve; on our hands and knees, ready to serve her. My family tried to talk some sense into me, but I wouldn't hear of it. Katie-Anne was my soul mate, my one and only love. And I was going to win her heart if I had to fight Lucy herself.

"Then about three weeks into the year, a new kid came to our school. His name was Tyler Hogg. And there wasn't a day that went by when someone wasn't making fun of him for something. He was a super-smart kid with no coordination whatsoever.

"One of Katie-Anne's friends mentioned that Tyler never made a pa.s.s at Katie-Anne. She snorted, saying that she would never date him. But as time went on, she started thinking more and more about Tyler. Why hadn't he asked her out? Everyone else did. Even the nerds who knew they didn't have a chance. Was he too shy? Did he know he didn't stand a chance and think 'why bother?'

"The more she watched Tyler, the more obsessed she became by how indifferent he was to her beauty. He wasn't acting like a boy who was too afraid to approach her. He was acting like a boy who didn't know she existed. Tyler's dismissal of her actually kept the pretty princess up at night.

"Enraged, she finally asked him point blank, 'Why haven't you asked me out?' He knew she wasn't going to let him off the hook without giving her a real reason. So, reluctantly and apologetically, he said, 'You seem very ... empty.'

"No one had ever said that to Katie-Anne. I mean, no one I knew spoke like that. Not only was she insulted, she was rejected, and by a nerd, no less.

"So, she got the football team to beat up Tyler every day on his way home from school. They would sit in front of the school just waiting for him.

"One day she spotted Tyler with a meek but sweet girl named Candice. She was a year ahead of us. Katie-Anne was furious to have been pa.s.sed over for someone she considered far beneath her status.

"The next day was our field trip to the Museum of Natural History in Chicago. Most of the juniors and seniors ditched that day to go to the lake. Normally I wouldn't ditch, but Katie-Anne was going to be at the lake. I wanted to approach her again. I had asked her out 56 times in the past, but the 57th time's the charm, right?

"I even had a poem to recite to her. It was about how I knew she was going to date other guys but how I would still love her. I spent the afternoon memorizing it.

"We all headed to the lake. Most of the football team walked ahead with Katie-Anne. The others of us who were lower in her harem stayed in the back. All of a sudden Katie-Anne and the others stopped walking. I made my way up to her to see what was going on.

"Katie-Anne had stopped to watch Tyler walking across the street. Katie-Anne watched him for several minutes. She was singularly focused on him. It's like she had a ray beam pointed at his head.

"She looked out into the group of mostly guys and made an announcement: 'I will give a kiss to anyone who can get Tyler and bring him to the lake.'

"The crowd cheered. The guys went crazy. Katie-Anne was popular, but she wasn't known for being promiscuous. It was rare that she even held hands with a guy, let alone gave away a kiss.

"I caught a glimpse of her face as the guys charged ahead towards Tyler. It was a look that I had never seen on anyone's face. It was evil at its most beautiful and most wicked form. She didn't want to embarra.s.s him. She wanted to destroy him.

"I stood still as the others ran past me. Only Katie-Anne and I remained. She looked at me and said, 'Reese, don't you want a kiss?' I looked at her and said, 'Not from you.'