Green Stockings Part 9

There is a general lively subdued conversation during these exits_.)

MARTIN. (_When only_ PHYLLIS _and_ EVELYN _are left on the stage_) It is time for the letters, your Ladyship.

EVELYN. (_Goes_ L. _above table, adding up her bridge score and deferring the matter to_ PHYLLIS) Oh, Phyllis.

PHYLLIS. (_Crossing to_ MARTIN _with letter that_ MADGE _has given her_) Here's one of Mrs. Rockingham's. (MARTIN _comes_ C., _takes it and turns to door_ L. PHYLLIS _turns back_ R. _Stopping_) Oh, Martin.

(MARTIN _stops at table_ R.) Has Miss Faraday given you one?

MARTIN. No, Miss.

PHYLLIS. I will call her-- Wait a minute-- Perhaps she left it here.

(_Warn electrician for lights out_. PHYLLIS _looks about on table and writing desk, then returns to table. She aimlessly rummages through pile of periodicals at foot of table, knocking them off on the floor.

In replacing them, she comes across blue envelope, and in picking this up by one corner, the letters that_ CELIA _has put in it, including the "Smith" letter, fall to the floor. She goes to replace the letters, sees the "Smith" letter, and speaks_) Oh, here it is. (_Reads address_) Colonel John Smith, Somaliland. (_Crosses and gives letter to_ MARTIN _and he exits_ L.I. _She returns to table, places two of the magazines back on it, then the large blue envelope in which she has replaced other letters, and then the rest of the magazines on top of these. All this should be done quickly and unconsciously_, PHYLLIS _humming while she is doing it_.)

EVELYN. (_After_ PHYLLIS _has replaced magazines_) I wonder who he is.

Oh, let's look him up in the army list. (_Gets army list from book slide, table_ L.)

PHYLLIS. Oh, let's. (_Crosses to_ EVELYN _and together they turn over the pages to the S's. Reading_) "Smith--Smith--Smith--Smith"-- Oh, here it is. "J. N. Smith, D. S. O."

EVELYN. (_With mild surprise_) Distinguished Service Order.

PHYLLIS. (_Reading_) "West African Rifles."

EVELYN. (_Crossing_ R. _to morning room_) I suppose that's the man.

PHYLLIS. It must be. (_Replaces army list in book slide and runs after_ EVELYN _toward morning room to electric light switch by door_) The Rifles wear green thing-a-majigs on their tunics, don't they?

EVELYN. Yes, I think they do.

(PHYLLIS _switches off light and then_ EVELYN _puts out lamp in the morning room as they exit chatting. The room is lighted now only by the firelight and light in card room. As soon as the stage is clear_, CELIA _enters cautiously. She goes to table_ R., _looks for large envelope, finds it and throws it quickly into the fire, not looking at its contents. She stands thinking a moment, then goes to table_ L., _looks at book rack, s.n.a.t.c.hes out army list, crosses and, after making sure that it is the army list by looking at it in the firelight, throws it into the fire_. NOTE: _The electrician should at this point flash on and off a thirty-two amber lamp in the fireplace to give the impression of the burning of the envelope and army list that_ CELIA _has thrown into the fire_. AUNT IDA, _who has remained out of sight in the card room, enters as_ CELIA _crosses to fire with book_.)

AUNT IDA. Why, Celia.

CELIA. (_Turns around, startled. Goes to light switch up_ R. _and turns on lights_) Oh, it's you, Aunt Ida.

AUNT IDA. (_Comes down and crosses to center and sees book in flames_) Celia, what was that?

CELIA. (_Sitting on fender and swinging her foot_) That? The army list.

AUNT IDA. The army list? And you burned it? Celia!

CELIA. Well, Aunt Ida.

AUNT IDA. (_Beside chair_ L. _of table_ R. _In low voice, almost tearfully_) Celia, darling, have you been doing something--foolish?

(CELIA _laughs_.) Is there--is there--anything peculiar about--Colonel Smith?

CELIA. (_Smiling_) What would you call--peculiar, Aunt Ida?

AUNT IDA. (_With great gentleness, but evidently distressed_) Forgive me, dearest. It is--is there anything about Colonel Smith you don't want the family to know?

CELIA. Yes. (_Going to_ AUNT IDA _above chair_ R. _Laughs_) There is--something--about Colonel Smith--I don't want the family to know.

(_Laughs_.)

AUNT IDA. Why, isn't he--what you said?

CELIA. (_Looking at_ AUNT IDA _and laughing_) He is not.

AUNT IDA. (_Timidly_) No--?

CELIA. He is--not!! (CELIA, _above chair_ R., _swings_ AUNT IDA _into it_.)

AUNT IDA. Mercy, child! Don't drive me crazy! He is not--not what?

CELIA. Not at all. (_Looks at_ AUNT IDA _and begins to laugh irrepressibly_.)

AUNT IDA. Celia!

CELIA. (_Bends above_ AUNT IDA, _putting her arms about her from back and kissing her neck_) Hush--listen, dear---- Will you swear you won't betray me?

AUNT IDA. But--Celia!

CELIA. Will you promise, Aunt Ida? I know I can trust you if you will only really promise never to breathe a word of what I am going to tell you to any living being?

AUNT IDA. Well--but--I am not sure.

CELIA. Oh, very well, then--if you don't want to (_Crosses to chair_ R. _of table_ L. _and sits_.)

AUNT IDA. No, no, Celia, I promise. There now, I have promised.

CELIA. Very well, then. (_Slowly and emphatically_) There--isn't--any--Colonel Smith.

AUNT IDA. (_Helplessly_) There--isn't--any--Colonel?

CELIA. None.

AUNT IDA. Then who is he?

CELIA. He _isn't_. I invented him.

AUNT IDA. (_Rising_) But, Celia--your engagement?

CELIA. Well, naturally I invented that too.

AUNT IDA. Celia Faraday, you are not telling the truth.

CELIA. (_Shaking her head_) No.

AUNT IDA. (_Going towards_ CELIA) You are deceiving everybody.