Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners Part 1

Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners.

by John Bunyan.

A PREFACE

OR, BRIEF ACCOUNT OF THE PUBLISHING THIS WORK. WRITTEN BY THE AUTHOR THEREOF, AND DEDICATED TO THOSE WHOM G.o.d HATH COUNTED HIM WORTHY TO BEGET TO FAITH, BY HIS MINISTRY IN THE WORD

CHILDREN, Grace be with you. _Amen_. I being taken from you in presence, and so tied up that I cannot perform that duty, that from G.o.d doth lie upon me to you-ward, for your farther edifying and building up in faith and holiness, etc., yet that you may see my soul hath fatherly care and desire after your spiritual and everlasting welfare, I now once again, as before, from the top of _Shenir_ and _Hermon_, so now from _the lions' dens_, _from the mountains of the leopards_ (Song iv. 8), do look yet after you all, greatly longing to see your safe arrival into THE desired Haven.

I thank G.o.d upon every remembrance of you; and rejoice, even while I stick between the teeth of the lion in the wilderness, that the grace and mercy, and knowledge of Christ our Saviour, which G.o.d hath bestowed upon you, with abundance of faith and love; your hungerings and thirstings after farther acquaintance with the Father, in the Son; your tenderness of heart, your trembling at sin, your sober and holy deportment also, before both G.o.d and men, is a great refreshment to me; _For ye are our glory and joy_. 1 Thess. ii. 20.

I have sent you here enclosed, a drop of that honey that I have taken out of the carcase of a lion. Judg. xiv. 58. I have eaten thereof myself, and am much refreshed thereby. (Temptations, when we meet them at first, are as the lion that roared upon _Samson_; but if we overcome them, the next time we see them, we shall find a nest of honey within them.) The _Philistines_ understand me not. It is something of a relation of the work of G.o.d upon my soul, even from the very first, till now, wherein you may perceive my castings down, and risings up: for He woundeth, and His hands make whole. It is written in the Scripture, Isa. x.x.xviii. 19, _The father to the children shall make known Thy truth_. Yea, it was for this reason I lay so long at Sinai, Lev. iv. 10, 11, to see the fire, and the cloud, and the darkness, _that I might fear the Lord all the days of my life upon earth_, _and tell of His wondrous works to my children_. Psalm lxxviii. 35.

Moses, Numb. x.x.xiii. 1, 2, writ of the journeys of the children of _Israel_, from _Egypt_ to the land of _Canaan_; and commanded also that they did remember their forty years' travel in the wilderness. _Thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy G.o.d led thee these forty years in the wilderness_, _to humble thee_, _and to prove thee_, _and to know what was in thine heart_, _whether thou wouldst keep His commandments_, _or no_. Deut. viii. 2. Wherefore this I have endeavoured to do; and not only so, but to publish it also; that, if G.o.d will, others may be put in remembrance of what He hath done for their souls, by reading His work upon me.

It is profitable for Christians to be often calling to mind the very beginnings of grace with their souls. _It is a night to be much observed unto the Lord_, _for bringing them out from the land of Egypt_. _This is that night of the Lord to be observed of all the children of Israel in their generations_. Exod. xii. 42. _O my G.o.d_ (saith _David_), Ps.

xlii. 6, _my soul is cast down within me_; _therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan_, _and of the Hermonites_, _from the hill Mizar_. He remembered also the lion and the bear, when he went to fight with the giant of _Gath_. 1 Sam. xvii. 36, 37.

It was _Paul's_ accustomed manner, Acts xxii., and that, when tried for his life, Acts xxiv., even to open before his judges the manner of his conversion: he would think of that day, and that hour, in which he first did meet with grace; for he found it supported him. When G.o.d had brought the children of Israel out of the Red Sea, far into the wilderness, yet they must turn quite about thither again, to remember the drowning of their enemies there, Numb. xiv. 25, for though they sang his praise before, yet they soon forgat his works. Psalm cvi. 11, 12.

In this discourse of mine, you may see much; much I say, of the grace of G.o.d towards me: I thank G.o.d, I can count it much; for it was above my sins and Satan's temptations too. I can remember my fears and doubts, and sad months, with comfort; they are as the head of _Goliah_ in my hand: there was nothing to _David_ like _Goliah's_ sword, even that sword that should have been sheathed in his bowels; for the very sight and remembrance of that did preach forth G.o.d's deliverance to him. Oh! the remembrance of my great sins, of my great temptations, and of my great fear of perishing for ever! They bring afresh into my mind, the remembrance of my great help, my great supports from heaven, and the great grace that G.o.d extended to such a wretch as I.

My dear children, call to mind the former days, and years of ancient times: remember also your songs in the night, and commune with your own Hearts, Ps. lxxiii. 512. Yea, look diligently, and leave no corner therein unsearched for that treasure hid, even the treasure of your first and second experience of the grace of G.o.d towards you. Remember, I say, the word that first laid hold upon you: remember your terrors of conscience, and fear of death and h.e.l.l: remember also your tears and prayers to G.o.d; yea, how you sighed under every hedge for mercy. Have you never a hill _Mizar_ to remember? Have you forgot the close, the milk-house, the stable, the barn, and the like, where G.o.d did visit your souls? Remember also the word, the word, I say, upon which the Lord hath caused you to hope: if you have sinned against light, if you are tempted to blaspheme, if you are drowned in despair, if you think G.o.d fights against you, or if heaven is hid from your eyes; remember it was thus with your father; _but out of them all the Lord delivered me_.

I could have enlarged much in this my discourse, of my temptations and troubles for sin; as also of the merciful kindness and working of G.o.d with my soul: I could also have stepped into a style much higher than this, in which I have here discoursed, and could have adorned all things more than here I have seemed to do, but I dare not: G.o.d did not play in tempting of me; neither did I play, when I sunk as into the bottomless pit, when the _pangs of h.e.l.l caught hold upon me_; wherefore I may not play in relating of them, but be plain and simple, and lay down the thing as it was; he that liketh it, let him receive it, and he that doth not, let him produce a better. Farewell.

My dear Children,

_The milk and honey are beyond this wilderness_. _G.o.d be merciful to you_, _and grant that you be not slothful to go in to possess the land_.

JOHN BUNYAN.

GRACE ABOUNDING TO THE CHIEF OF SINNERS OR, A BRIEF RELATION OF THE EXCEEDING MERCY OF G.o.d IN CHRIST, TO HIS POOR SERVANT, JOHN BUNYAN

IN this my relation of the merciful working of G.o.d upon my soul, it will not be amiss, if in the first place, I do in a few words give you a hint of my pedigree, and manner of bringing up; that thereby the goodness and bounty of G.o.d towards me, may be the more advanced and magnified before the sons of men.

2. For my descent then, it was, as is well known by many, of a low and inconsiderable generation; my father's house being of that rank that is meanest, and most despised of all the families in the land. Wherefore, I have not here, as others, to boast of n.o.ble blood, or of any high-born state, according to the flesh; though, all things considered, I magnify the heavenly Majesty, for that by this door He brought me into the world, to partake of the grace and life that is in Christ by the gospel.

3. But yet, notwithstanding the meanness and inconsiderableness of my parents, it pleased G.o.d to put it into their hearts, to put me to school, to learn both to read and write; the which I also attained, according to the rate of other poor men's children: though, to my shame, I confess, I did soon lose that I had learned, even almost utterly, and that long before the Lord did work His gracious work of conversion upon my soul.

4. As for my own natural life, for the time that I was without G.o.d in the world, it was, indeed, _according to the course of this world and the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience_. Eph. ii. 2, 3.

It was my delight to be 'taken captive by the devil _at his will_,' 2 Tim. ii. 26; being filled with all unrighteousness; the which did also so strongly work, and put forth itself, both in my heart and life, and that from a child, that I had but few equals (especially considering my years, which were tender, being but few) both for cursing, swearing, lying, and blaspheming the holy name of G.o.d.

5. Yea, so settled and rooted was I in these things, that they became as a second nature to me; the which, as I have also with soberness considered since, did so offend the Lord, that even in my childhood he did scare and affrighten me with fearful dreams, and did terrify me with fearful visions. For often, after I have spent this and the other day in sin, I have in my bed been greatly afflicted, while asleep, with the apprehensions of devils and wicked spirits, who still, as I then thought, laboured to draw me away with them, of which I could never be rid.

6. Also I should, at these years, be greatly afflicted and troubled with the thoughts of the fearful torments of h.e.l.l-fire; still fearing, that it would be my lot to be found at last among those devils and h.e.l.lish fiends, who are there bound down with the chains and bonds of darkness, unto the judgment of the great day.

7. These things, I say, when I was but a child, but nine or ten years old, did so distress my soul, that then in the midst of my many sports and childish vanities, amidst my vain companions, I was often much cast down, and afflicted in my mind therewith, yet could I not let go my sins: yea, I was also then so overcome with despair of life and heaven, that I should often wish, either that there had been no h.e.l.l, or that I had been a devil; supposing they were only tormentors; that if it must needs be, that I went thither, I might be rather a tormentor, than be tormented myself.

8. A while after those terrible dreams did leave me, which also I soon forgot; for my pleasures did quickly cut off the remembrance of them, as if they had never been: wherefore with more greediness, according to the strength of nature, I did still let loose the reins of my l.u.s.t, and delighted in all transgressions against the law of G.o.d: so that until I came to the state of marriage, I was the very ringleader of all the youth that kept me company, in all manner of vice and unG.o.dliness.

9. Yea, such prevalency had the l.u.s.ts and fruits of the flesh in this poor soul of mine, that had not a miracle of precious grace prevented, I had not only perished by the stroke of eternal justice, but had also laid myself open, even to the stroke of those laws which bring some to disgrace and open shame before the face of the world.

10. In these days the thoughts of religion were very grievous to me; I could neither endure it myself, nor that any other should; so that when I have seen some read in those books that concerned Christian piety, it would be as it were a prison to me. _Then I said unto G.o.d_, _Depart from me_, _for I desire not the knowledge of Thy ways_. Job xxi. 14, 15. I was now void of all good consideration, heaven and h.e.l.l were both out of sight and mind; and as for saving and d.a.m.ning, they were least in my thoughts. _O Lord_, _Thou knowest my life_, _and my ways were not hid from Thee_!

11. But this I well remember, that though I could myself sin with the greatest delight and ease, and also take pleasure in the vileness of my companions; yet, even then, if I had at any time seen wicked things, by those who professed goodness, it would make my spirit tremble. As once above all the rest, when I was in the height of vanity, yet hearing one to swear, that was reckoned for a religious man, it had so great a stroke upon my spirit, that it made my heart ache.

12. But G.o.d did not utterly leave me, but followed me still, not now with convictions, but judgments; yet such as were mixed with mercy. For once I fell into a creek of the sea, and hardly escaped drowning.

Another time I fell out of a boat into _Bedford_ river, but, mercy yet preserved me alive: besides, another time, being in a field, with one of my companions, it chanced that an adder pa.s.sed over the highway, so I having a stick in my hand, struck her over the back; and having stunned her, I forced open her mouth with my stick, and plucked her sting out with my fingers; by which act had not G.o.d been merciful unto me, I might by my desperateness, have brought myself to my end.

13. This also I have taken notice of, with thanksgiving: When I was a soldier, I with others, were drawn out to go to such a place to besiege it; but when I was just ready to go, one of the company desired to go in my room: to which, when I had consented, he took my place; and coming to the siege, as he stood sentinel, he was shot in the head with a musket-bullet and died.

14. Here, as I said, were judgments and mercy, but neither of them did awaken my soul to righteousness; wherefore I sinned still, and grew more and more rebellious against G.o.d, and careless of my own salvation.

15. Presently after this, I changed my condition into a married state, and my mercy was, to light upon a wife whose father was counted G.o.dly: This woman and I, though we came together as poor as poor might be (not having so much household stuff as a dish or a spoon betwixt us both), yet this she had for her part: _The Plain Man's Pathway to Heaven_ and _The Practice of Piety_; which her father had left her when he died. In these two books I would sometimes read with her, wherein I also found some things that were somewhat pleasing to me (but all this while I met with no conviction). She also would be often telling of me what a G.o.dly man her father was, and how he would reprove and correct vice, both in his house, and among his neighbours; what a strict and holy life he lived in his days, both in word and deed.

[Picture: Bunyan and his Wife read her Father's Books]

16. Wherefore these books, with this relation, though they did not reach my heart, to awaken it about my sad and sinful state, yet they did beget within me some desires to religion: so that because I knew no better, I fell in very eagerly with the religion of the times; to wit, to go to church twice a day, and that too with the foremost; and there should very devoutly, both say and sing, as others did, yet retaining my wicked life; but withal, I was so over-run with the spirit of superst.i.tion, that I adored, and that with great devotion, even all things (both the high-place, priest, clerk, vestment, service, and what else) belonging to the church; counting all things holy that were therein contained, and especially, the priest and clerk most happy, and without doubt, greatly blessed, because they were the servants, as I then thought, of G.o.d, and were princ.i.p.al in the holy temple, to do His work therein.

17. This conceit grew so strong in a little time upon my spirit, that had I but seen a priest (though never so sordid and debauched in his life), I should find my spirit fall under him, reverence him, and knit unto him; yea, I thought, for the love I did bear unto them (supposing them the ministers of G.o.d), I could have laid down at their feet, and have been trampled upon by them; their name, their garb, and work did so intoxicate and bewitch me.

18. After I had been thus for some considerable time, another thought came in my mind; and that was, whether we were of the _Israelites_ or no?

For finding in the scripture that they were once the peculiar people of G.o.d, thought I, if I were one of this race, my soul must needs be happy.

Now again, I found within me a great longing to be resolved about this question, but could not tell how I should: at last I asked my father of it; who told me, _No_, _we were not_. Wherefore then I fell in my spirit, as to the hopes of that, and so remained.

19. But all this while, I was not sensible of the danger and evil of sin; I was kept from considering that sin would d.a.m.n me, what religion soever I followed, unless I was found in Christ: nay, I never thought of Him, or whether there was such a One, or no. _Thus man_, _while blind_, _doth wander_, _but wearieth himself with vanity_, _for he knoweth not the way to the city of G.o.d_. Eccles. x. 15.

20. But one day (amongst all the sermons our parson made) his subject was, to treat of the Sabbath day, and of the evil of breaking that, either with labour, sports or otherwise. (Now, I was, notwithstanding my religion, one that took much delight in all manner of vice, and especially that was the day that I did solace myself therewith): wherefore I fell in my conscience under his sermon, thinking and believing that he made that sermon on purpose to show me my evil doing.

And at that time I felt what guilt was, though never before, that I can remember; but then I was, for the present, greatly loaden therewith, and so went home when the sermon was ended, with a great burthen upon my spirit.

21. This, for that instant did benumb the sinews of my best delights, and did imbitter my former pleasures to me; but hold, it lasted not, for before I had well dined, the trouble began to go off my mind, and my heart returned to its old course: but oh! how glad was I, that this trouble was gone from me, and that the fire was put out, that I might sin again without control! Wherefore, when I had satisfied nature with my food, I shook the sermon out of my mind, and to my old custom of sports and gaming, I returned with great delight.

22. But the same day, as I was in the midst of a game of Cat, and having struck it one blow from the hole, just as I was about to strike it the second time, a voice did suddenly dart from heaven into my soul, which said, _Wilt thou leave thy sins and go to heaven_, _or have thy sins and go to h.e.l.l_? At this I was put to an exceeding maze; wherefore leaving my cat upon the ground, I looked up to heaven, and was, as if I had, with the eyes of my understanding, seen the Lord Jesus looking down upon me, as being very hotly displeased with me, and as if He did severely threaten me with some grievous punishment for these and other unG.o.dly practices.

[Picture: Bunyan hears a Voice from Heaven]

23. I had no sooner thus conceived in my mind, but, suddenly, this conclusion was fastened on my spirit (for the former hint did set my sins again before my face), _That I had been a great and grievous sinner_, _and that it was now too late for me to look after heaven_; _for Christ would not forgive me_, _nor pardon my transgressions_. Then I fell to musing on this also; and while I was thinking of it, and fearing lest it should be so; I felt my heart sink in despair, concluding it was too late; and therefore I resolved in my mind I would go on in sin: for, thought I, if the case be thus, my state is surely miserable; miserable if I leave my sins, and but miserable if I follow them; I can but be d.a.m.ned, and if I must be so, I had as good be d.a.m.ned for many sins, as be d.a.m.ned for few.

24. Thus I stood in the midst of my play, before all that then were present: but yet I told them nothing: but I say; having made this conclusion, I returned desperately to my sport again; and I well remember, that presently this kind of despair did so possess my soul, that I was persuaded I could never attain to other comfort than what I should get in sin; for heaven was gone already, so that on that I must not think; wherefore I found within me great desire to take my fill of sin, still studying what sin was yet to be committed, that I might taste the sweetness of it; and I made as much haste as I could to fill my belly with its delicates, lest I should die before I had my desire; for that I feared greatly. In these things, I protest before G.o.d, I lye not, neither do I feign this form of speech; these were really, strongly, and with all my heart, my desires: _The good Lord_, _Whose mercy is unsearchable_, _forgive me my transgressions_!

25. And I am very confident, that this temptation of the devil is more usual among poor creatures, than many are aware of, even to over-run the spirits with a scurvy and seared frame of heart, and benumbing of conscience, which frame he stilly and slily supplieth with such despair, that, though not much guilt attendeth souls, yet they continually have a secret conclusion within them, that there is no hope for them; _for they have loved sins_, _therefore after them they will go_. Jer. ii. 25, and xviii. 12.