George Washington's Rules of Civility Part 8

84th. When your Superiours talk to any Body hearken not neither Speak nor Laugh

Chapter vii. 27. Quand ceux qui out sur vous commandement, parlent a quelqu'vn, gardez vous bien de parler, de rire, ou de les escouter.

When your Superiors talk to any one, do not speak, laugh, or listen.

85th. In Company of these of Higher Quality than yourself Speak not till you are ask'd a Question then Stand upright put of your Hat & Answer in few words

Chapter vii. 30. Estant auec de plus grands que vous, princ.i.p.alement s'ils ont du pouuoir sur vous, ne parlez pas deuant que d'estre interroge, & alors leuez-vous debout, decouurez-vous, & repondez en pen de mots, si toutesfois l'on ne vous donne conge de vous a.s.seoir, ou de vous tenir couuert.

Being with persons of higher position than yourself, and especially if they have authority over you, do not speak until you are interrogated; then rise, remove your hat, and answer in few words,--unless indeed you are invited to remain seated, or to keep your hat on.

86th. In Disputes, be not so Desirous to Overcome as not to give Liberty to each one to deliver his Opinion and Submit to y'e Judgment of y'e Major Part especially if they are Judges of the Dispute.

Chapter vii. 31. Dans les disputes qui arriuent, princ.i.p.alement en conuersation, ne soyez pas si desireux de gagner, que vous ne laissiez dire a chacun son aduis, & soit que vous ayez tort, ou raison, vous deuez acquiescer au jugement du plus grand nombre, ou mesme des plus fascheux, & beaucoup plus de ceux de qui vous dependez, ou qui sont juges de la dispute.

In disputes that arise, especially in conversation, be not so desirous to overcome as not to leave each one liberty to deliver his opinion; and whether you be wrong or right you should acquiesce in the judgment of the majority, or even of the most persistent, all the more if they are your masters or patrons, or judges of the discussion.

87th. [Let your bearing be such] as becomes a Man Grave Settled and attentive [to what is said, without being too serious. Contra]dict not at every turn what others Say

Chapter vii. 35. Vostre maintien soit d'homme moderement graue, pose, & attentif a ce qui se dit, afin de n'auoir pas a dire a tout propos: _Comment ditez-vous? comment se pa.s.se cela? je ne vous ay pas entendu_, & d'autres semblables niaiseries.

33. Ne contredictes pas a tout bout de champ, a ce que disent les autres, en contestant & disant: Il n'est pas ainsi, la chose est comme je la dy; mais rapportez-vous en a l'opinion des autres princ.i.p.alement dans les choses, qui sont de peu de consequence.

35. Let your bearing be that of a moderately grave, serious man, and attentive to what is said so as to avoid having to say every moment: _'How did that happen? I did not understand you,'_--and other similar foolish remarks.

33. Do not continually contradict what others say, by disputing and saying: 'That is not the case, it is as I say;' but defer to the opinion of others, especially in matters of small consequence.

88th. Be not tedious in Discourse, make not many Digressions, nor repeat often the Same manner of Discourse

Chapter vii. 39. N'employez pas vn an a vostre preface, & en certaines longues excuses ou ceremonies, en disant, _Monsieur: excusez-moy! si ie ne scay pas si bien dire,_ &c., _toutesfois pour vous obeyr_, &c., & autres semblables ennuyeuses and sottes trainees de paroles; mais entrez promptement en matiere tant que faire se pourra auec vne hardiesse moderee: Et puis poursuiuez, sans vous troubler, iusques a la fin. Ne soyez pas long; sans beaucoup de digressions, ne reterez pas souuent vne mesme facon de dire.

Do not take a year in your preface, or in certain long apologies or ceremonies, such as: '_Pardon me Sir if I do not know how to express myself sufficiently well_, &.c.; _nevertheless in order to obey you_,' &c., and other similarly tedious and stupid circ.u.mlocutions; but enter promptly on the subject, as far as possible, with moderate boldness; then continue to the end without hesitation. Do not be prolix; avoid digressions; do not often reiterate the same expression.

89th. Speak not Evil of the absent for it is unjust

Hawkins vi. 40. Speak not evill of one absent, for it is unjust to detract from the worth of any, or besmeare a good name by condemning, where the party is not present, to clear himselfe, or undergo a rationall conviction.

90th. Being Set at meat Scratch not neither Spit Cough or blow your Nose except there's a Necessity for it

Chapter viii. 2. Estant a.s.sis a table, ne vous grattez point, & vous gardez tant que vous pourrez, de cracher, de tousser, de vous moucher: que s'il y a necessite, faites-le adroitement, sans beaucoup de bruit, en tournant le visage de coste.

Being seated at the table, do not scratch yourself, and if you can help it, do not spit, cough, or blow your nose; should either be necessary do it adroitly, with least noise, turning the face aside.

_(In the Washington MS. there is a notable omission of all that is said in the French and English books concerning grace before meat.

At Washington's table grace was never said.)_

91st. Make no Shew of taking great Delight in your Victuals, Feed not with Greediness; cut your Bread with a Knife, lean not on the Table neither find fault with what you Eat.

Chapter viii. 3. Ne prenez pas vostre repas en gourmand.

4. Ne rompez point le pain auec les mains, mais auec le cousteau, si ce n'estoit vn pain fort petil & tout frais, & que tous les autres fissent de mesme, ou la pluspart.

5. Ne vous iettez pas sur table, a bras estendus iusques aux coudes, & ne vous accostez pas indecemment les epaules ou les bras sur vostre siege.

8. Ne monstrez nullement d'avoir pris plaisir a la viande, ou au vin; mais si celuy que vous traittez, vous en demande vostre goust, vous pourrez luy respondre avec modestie & prudence: beaucoup moins faut il blasmer les viandes, ou en demander d'autres, ny dauantage.

3. Eat not like a glutton. (4.) Do not break the bread with your hands, but with a knife; unless, indeed, it is a small and quite fresh roll, and where the others present, or most of them, use their hands. (5.) Do not throw yourself on the table, as far as the elbows, nor unbecomingly rest shoulders or arms on your chair.

(8.) Do not make a show of taking delight in your food, or in the wine; but if your host inquires your preference you should answer with modesty and tact: whatever you do, do not complain of the dishes, ask for others, or anything of that sort.

_(At Washington's table it was a custom to invite each guest to call for the wine he preferred.)_

92d. Take no Salt or cut Bread with your Knife Greasy.

Chapter viii. 9. Prenant du sel, gardez que le cousteau ne soit gras: quand il le faut nettoyer, ou la fourchette on le peut faire honnestement auec vn peu de pain, ou comme il se pratique en certains lieux, auec la serviette, mais iamais sur le pain entier.

In taking salt be careful that the knife is not greasy: when necessary your knife or fork may with propriety be cleaned on a piece of bread,--or, as is done in some places, with the napkin,--but it must never be wiped on the whole loaf.

93d. Entertaining any one at table it is decent to present him w't meat, Undertake not to help others undesired by y'e Master

Chapter viii. 10. Traittant quelqu'vn, il est de la bien-seance de le seruir en table, & luy presenter des viandes, voire mesme de celles qui sont proches de luy. Que si l'on estoit invite chez autruy, il est plus a propos d'attendre que le Maistre ou vn autre serue, que de prendre des viandes soy-mesme, si ce n'estoit que le Maistre priast les conuiez de prendre librement, ou que l'on fust en maison familiere. L'on se doit aussi peu ingerer a seruir les autres hors de sa maison, ou l'on avoir peu de pouuoir, n'etoit que le nombre des conuiez fust grand, & que le Maistre de la maison ne peust pas avoir l'oeil sur tout; Et pour lors l'on peut seruir ceux qui sont proches de soy.

When entertaining any one it is polite to serve him at table and to present the dishes to him, even such as are near him. When invited by another it is more seemly to wait to be served by the host, or some one else, than to take the dishes oneself, unless the host begs the guests to help themselves freely, or one is at home in the house. One ought also not to be officious in helping others when out of one's own house, where one has but little authority, unless the guests are very numerous and the host cannot attend to everything; in that case we may help those nearest us.

[9]4th. If you Soak bread in the Sauce let it be no more than what you put in your Mouth at a time and blow not your broth at Table but Stay till Cools of it Self

Chapter viii. 14. Si vous trempez en la saulce le pain ou la chair, ne les trempez pas derechef, apres y auoir mordu, trempez-y a chaque fois vn morceau mediocre, qui se puisse manger tout d'vne bouchee.

11. Ne soufflez point sur les viandes; mais si elles sont chaudes, attendez qu'elles se refroidissent: le potage se pourra refroidir, le remuant modestement auec la cuilliere, mais il ne sied pas bien de humer son potage en table, il le faut prendre auec la cuilliere.

If you dip bread or meat into the gravy, do not do so immediately after biting a piece off, but dip each time a moderately-sized morsel which can be eaten at one mouthful. (11.) Do not blow on the viands, but if they are hot, wait till they cool. Soup may be cooled by stirring it gently with a spoon, but it is not becoming to drink up the soup at table. It should be taken with a spoon.

95th. Put not your meat to your Mouth with your Knife in your hand neither Spit forth the Stones of any fruit Pye upon a Dish nor cast anything under the table

Chapter viii. 17. Ne portez pas le morceau a la bouche, tenant le cousteau en la main, a la mode des villageois.

16. Aussi ne semble-il bien seant de cracher les noyaux de prunes, cerises, ou autre chose semblable sur le plat; mais premierement on doit les recueiller decemment, comme il a este dit, en la main gauche, l'approchant a la bouche, & puis les mettre sur le bord de l'a.s.siette.