General John Regan Part 15

"If I'm the treasurer it's no more than right that I should have some say in the way the money's being spent, for let me tell you, doctor?and I may as well speak plain when I'm at it?I'm not satisfied. I've had some correspondence with a nephew of mine who's in that line of business himself up in Dublin, and he tells me that 100 is little enough for a statue of any size. Now I'm not saying that I want to close the account with a balance in hand??"

"It's what you do want, Doyle, whether you say it or not."

"But," said Doyle ignoring this interruption, "it wouldn't suit me if there was any debt at the latter end. For it's myself would have to pay it if there was, and that's what I'd not be inclined to do. The way you're spending money on posters and advertis.e.m.e.nts there'll be very little of the American gentleman's 100 left when it comes to buying the statue."

"I see your point all right, Doyle, but??"

"If you see it," said Doyle, "I'm surprised at you going on the way you are; but, sure, I might have known that you wouldn't care how much you'd spend or how much you'd owe at the latter end. There's that 60??"

"Don't harp on about that miserable 60," said Dr. O'Grady, "for I won't stand it. Here I am doing the very best I can to make money for you, taking no end of trouble, and all you do is to come grumbling to me day after day about some beggarly account that I happen to owe you."

"It's what I don't see is how I'm going to make a penny out of it at all, the way you're going on."

"Listen to me now, Doyle. Supposing?I just say supposing?the Government was to build a pier, a new pier, in Ballymoy, who do you think would get the contract for the job?"

"I would, of course," said Doyle, "for there'd be no other man in the town fit to take it."

"And how much do you suppose you'd make out of it?"

"What's the use of talking that way?" said Doyle. "Hasn't the Government built us two piers already, and is it likely they'd build us another?"

"That's not the point. What I'm asking you is: Supposing they did build another and you got the contract for it, how much do you suppose you'd make?"

"Well," said Doyle, "if it was a good-sized pier and if the engineer they sent down to inspect the work wasn't too smart altogether I might clear 100."

"Now, suppose," said Dr. O'Grady, "that you were able to sell the stones of that old mill of yours??"

"They're good stones, so they are."

"Exactly, and you'd expect a good price for them. Now suppose you succeeded in selling them to the Government as raw material for the pier??"

"They'd be nice and handy for the work," said Doyle. "Whoever was to use those stones for building the pier would save a devil of a lot of expense in carting."

"That, of course, would be considered in fixing the price of the stones."

"It would," said Doyle. "It would have to be, for I wouldn't sell them without it was."

"Under those circ.u.mstances," said Dr. O'Grady, "what do you suppose you'd make?"

"I'd make a tidy penny," said Doyle.

"Very well. Add that tidy penny to the 100 profit on the pier contract and it seems to me that it would pay you to lose a couple of pounds?and I don't admit that you will lose a penny?over the statue business."

The mention of the statue brought Doyle back from a pleasant dream to the region of hard fact.

"What's the good of talking?" he said. "The Government will build no more piers here."

"I'm not so sure of that. If we were to get a hold of one of the real big men, say the Lord-Lieutenant, if we were to bring him down here and do him properly?flags, you know, Doyle, and the town band, and somebody with a bouquet of flowers for his wife, and somebody else?all respectable people, Doyle?with an illuminated address?and if we were all to stand round with our hats in our hands and cheer?in fact if we were to do all the things that those sort of fellows really like to see done??"

"We could have flags," said Doyle, "and we could have the town band, and we could have all the rest of what you say; but what good would they be?

The Lord-Lieutenant wouldn't come to Ballymoy. It's a backward place, so it is."

"I'll get to that in a minute," said Dr. O'Grady. "But just suppose now that we had him and did all the things I say, do you think he'd refuse us a simple pier when we asked for it?"

"I don't know but he would. Hasn't the Government built two piers here already? Is it likely they'd build a third?"

"Those two piers were built years and years ago," said Dr. O'Grady. "One of them is more than ten years old this minute, and they were both built by the last Government The present Lord-Lieutenant has probably never so much as heard of them. We shouldn't go out of our way to remind him of their existence. n.o.body else in Ireland will remember anything about them. We'll start talking about the new pier as if it were quite an original idea that n.o.body had ever heard of before. We'd get it to a certainty."

Doyle was swept away by the glorious possibilities before him.

"If so be the Lord-Lieutenant was to come, and the Lady-Lieutenant with him, and more of the lords and ladies that does be attending on them up in Dublin Castle??"

"Aides-de-camp, and people of that sort," said Dr. O'Grady. "They'd simply swarm down on us."

"There'd have to be a luncheon for them," said Doyle.

"And it would be in your hotel. I forgot about the luncheon. There'll be a pot of money to be made out of that."

"With drinks and all," said Doyle, with deep conviction. "There would.

The like of them people wouldn't be contented with porter."

"Champagne," said Dr. O'Grady, "is the recognised tipple for anybody high up in the Government service. It wouldn't be respectful not to offer it."

"But he won't come," said Doyle. "What would bring him?"

"The statue will bring him."

"The statue! Talk sense, doctor. What would the like of him want to be looking at statues for? Won't he have as many as he wants in Dublin Castle, and better ones than we'd be able to show him?"

"You're missing the point, Doyle. I'm not proposing to bring him down here simply to look at a statue. I'm going to ask him to unveil it. Now as far as I know the history of Ireland?and I'm as well up in it as most men?that would be an absolutely unprecedented invitation for any Lord-Lieutenant to receive. The novelty of the thing will attract him at once. And what's more, the idea will appeal to his better nature.

I needn't tell you, Doyle, that the earnest desire of every Lord-Lieutenant is to a.s.sist the material and intellectual advancement of Ireland. He's always getting opportunities of opening technical schools and industrial shows of one sort or another. They've quite ceased to attract him. But we're displaying an entirely new spirit. By erecting a public statue in a town like this we are showing that we've arrived at an advanced stage of culture. There isn't another potty little one-horse town in Ireland that has ever shown the slightest desire to set up a great and elevating work of art in its midst. You may not appreciate that aspect of the matter, Doyle, but??"

"If I was to give my opinion," said Doyle, "I'd say that statues was foolishness."

"Exactly. But the Lord-Lieutenant, when he gets our invitation will give you credit for much finer feeling. Besides he'll see that we've been studying up our past history. The name of General John Regan will mean a great deal to him although it conveys very little to you."

"It's what Thady Gallagher is always asking," said Doyle, "who was the General?"

"Gallagher ought to know," said Dr. O'Grady, "and I've told him so."

"He does not know then. Nor I don't believe Father McCormack does. Nor I don't know myself. Not that it would trouble me if there never was a General, only that you have Mary Ellen's head turned with the notion that she'll be coming into a big fortune one of these days??"

"Is she not doing her work?" said Dr. O'Grady.

"Devil the tap she's done these two days, but what she couldn't help.

Not that that bothers me, for it's nothing strange. She never was one for doing much unless you stood over her and drove her into it. But what has annoyed me is the way Constable Moriarty is never out of the kitchen or the back yard. He was after her before, but he's fifty times worse since he heard the talk about her being the niece of the General.

Besides the notion he has that young Kerrigan wants her, which has made him wild."

"Moriarty ought to have more sense," said Dr. O'Grady.