General John Regan Part 11

"No decent girl would do it," said Gallagher, "and anyway I wouldn't have had the time, for he had me in the motor again before I knew where he was and 'Show me the way to the house,' says he. 'You can't see her at the present time,' says I, 'though you may later,' 'And why not?'

says he. 'The reason why you can't,' says I, 'is a delicate matter,'

'Oh!' says he. 'That's the way of it, is it? I'm glad to hear of it. The more of the stock of the old General there are in the world the better.'

Well, when I seen him so pleased as all that, I thought it would be no harm to please him more. 'It's twins,' I said, 'and what's more the both of them is boys,' 'Take me to see the father,' says he. 'I'll be able to see him anyway. I'd like to shake him by the hand.'"

"Has he seen young Kerrigan?" said Dr. O'Grady.

"He has not; but he won't rest easy till he does. I wanted to run round and tell young Kerrigan the way things are, so as he'd be ready when the gentleman came. But Doyle said it would be better for me to tell you what had happened before worse came of it."

"Doyle was perfectly right Kerrigan would stand over your story all right as long as he could, but in the end he'd have had to produce the twins. That's the awkward part. If you hadn't said twins we might have managed. But there isn't a pair in the town."

"Couldn't you telegraph to Dublin?" said the Major. "For a man of your resource, O'Grady, mere twins ought not to prove a hopeless obstacle. I should think that one of the hospitals where they go in for that kind of thing would be quite glad to let you have a brace of babies in or about the same age."

O'Grady knew that this suggestion was not meant to be helpful. The Major had an objectionable habit of indulging in heavy sarcasm. He turned on him sharply.

"You'd better go home, Major. When you try to be facetious you altogether cease to be useful. You know perfectly well that there's no use talking about importing babies. What would we do with them afterwards? You couldn't expect young Kerrigan to keep them."

"I offered to go home some time ago," said the Major, "and you wouldn't let me. Now that I've heard about young Kerrigan's twins I mean to stop where I am and see what happens."

"Very well, Major. Just as you like. As long as you don't upset Billing by rolling up any of those heavy jokes of yours against him I don't mind. Here we are. I expect Doyle has Billing in the bar trying to pacify him with whisky. You'd better stay outside, Thady."

"I'd be glad of a drop then," said Gallagher wistfully. "After all the talking I did this afternoon??"

"Oh, go in if you like," said Dr. O'Grady. "Probably the safest thing for you to do is to get drunk. Here's Billing crossing the street He's just come out of Kerrigan's shop. Why on earth Doyle couldn't have kept him in play till I came.... He's sure to have found out now that young Kerrigan isn't married. This will make my explanation far more difficult than it need have been."

"It will make it impossible, I should imagine," said the Major.

Mr. Billing, his hands in his coat pockets and a large cigar between his teeth, came jauntily across the street. Dr. O'Grady greeted him.

"Good-evening, Mr. Billing," he said. "I hope you've had a pleasant and satisfactory afternoon."

Sergeant Colgan and Constable Moriarty came out of the barrack together.

They joined the group opposite the hotel. Constable Moriarty was grinning broadly. He had evidently heard some version of the story about young Kerrigan's twins.

"I am sorry to find," said the doctor, "that Thady Gallagher made a mistake, and a bad one, this afternoon."

"I reckon," said Mr. Billing, "that he kind of wandered from the path of truth."

"Young Kerrigan isn't married," said the doctor.

"The twins," said Mr. Billing, "were an effort of imagination. I am a man of imagination myself, so I'm not complaining any."

"Being a newspaper editor you have to be, of course," said Dr. O'Grady.

"But Gallagher's story wasn't pure imagination. It was rather what I'd call prophetic. The fact is young Kerrigan is going to be married.

Gallagher only antic.i.p.ated things a bit. I daresay he thought the ceremony had really taken place. He didn't mean to deceive you in any way. Did you, Thady?"

He looked round as he spoke. He wanted Gallagher to confirm what he said.

"He's within," said Constable Moriarty, grinning, "and I wouldn't say but he's having a drink. Anyway, here's Mr. Doyle."

Doyle, having supplied Gallagher with a bottle of porter, came out of the hotel. He was naturally anxious to hear Dr. O'Grady's explanation.

"The twins," said Mr. Billing, "were considerable previous."

"Not so much as you might think," said Dr. O'Grady. "Once people get married, you know, Mr. Billing, it often happens?generally in fact?not necessarily twins, but more or less that kind of thing. I can quite understand Thady making the mistake. And the girl young Kerrigan's going to marry really is a grandniece of the General's. Thady was quite right there."

"I'd like to see her," said Mr. Billing. "I'd like to take a photograph of her. The Bolivian public will be interested in a photograph of General John Regan's grandniece."

"Run and get your camera then," said Dr. O'Grady. "I'll have her ready for you by the time you're back."

Mr. Billing, looking very well satisfied and quite without suspicion, went into the hotel.

"Doyle," said Dr. O'Grady, "fetch Mary Ellen as quick as you can."

"Is it Mary Ellen?"

"It is. Get her at once, and don't argue."

"But sure Mary Ellen's not the grandniece of any General."

"She's the only grandniece we can possibly get on such short notice,"

said Dr. O'Grady.

"I don't know," said Sergeant Colgan, "will Mr. Gallagher be too well pleased. Mary Ellen's a cousin of his own."

"Thady will have to put up with a little inconvenience," said Dr.

O'Grady. "He got us all into this mess, so he can't complain."

"I beg your pardon, doctor," said Constable Moriarty, who had stopped grinning and looked truculent, "but I'll not have it put out that Mary Ellen's going to marry young Kerrigan. He's a boy she never looked at, nor wouldn't."

"Shut up, Moriarty," said Dr. O'Grady. "If you won't call her, Doyle, I must do it myself. Mary Ellen, Mary Ellen, come here!"

"What's the use of calling Mary Ellen?" said Doyle. "The girl knows well enough she's not the niece nor the grandniece of any General. As soon as ever you face her with the American gentleman she'll be saying something, be the same more or less, that'll let him know the way things are with her."

"If I know anything of Mary Ellen," said Dr. O'Grady, "she'll not say a word more than she need on any subject. I never could drag anything beyond 'I did,' or 'I did not,' or 'I might,' out of her no matter how hard I tried, Mary Ellen! Mary Ellen! Ah! here she is."

Mary Ellen came slowly through the door of the hotel. She smiled when she saw Dr. O'Grady, smiled again and then blushed when her eyes lit on Constable Moriarty. Her face and hands were a little dirtier than they had been earlier in the day, but she had added a small, crumpled, white cap to the ap.r.o.n which she put on in honour of Mr. Billing. The sight of her roused all Constable Moriarty's spirit.

"I'll not have it done, doctor," he said, "so there it is for you plain and straight. I'll not stand by and see the character of a decent girl??"

"Whisht, can't you," said Mary Ellen.

"Sergeant," said Dr. O'Grady, "this isn't a matter in which the police have any business to interfere. No one is committing a crime of any sort. You'd far better send Moriarty back to the barrack before he makes a worse fool of himself than he has already."

"Get along home out of that, Moriarty," said the sergeant. "Do you want me to have to report you to the District Inspector for neglect of duty?"

The threat was a terrific one. Moriarty quailed before it. He did not actually go back to the barrack; but he retired to the background and did no more than look reproachfully at Mary Ellen whenever he thought she was looking his way.

"It's a great pity," said Dr. O'Grady, "that we haven't time to wash her face. I might do something, even without soap and water, if I had a pocket-handkerchief. Major, just lend me?? Oh hang it! I can't. Here comes Billing with his camera. Pull yourself together now, Mary Ellen, and try to look as if you were proud of your distinguished relative. It isn't every girl of your age who has a General for a great uncle."