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Part Five
Written by: Mariciosa
One week pa.s.sed.
Today is the time that I need to set him free and the last day I will see him again. I really can't believe it. An hour before that, we are still dancing, laughing, and he is still alive.
But why?
Why this s.h.i.t happened?
Why did he have to leave? To die?
I don't know how to face it. I don't know what to do to see him again, lifeless.
This whole week, I just locked up at my room. Crying hard because of the loss. But I need to see him again. For the last time.
-----
You still look handsome. Even if you're dead.
I thought when I saw him in a coffin. He still looks the same. He looks like he is only sleeping. But he is sleeping, forever.
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The ma.s.s went smoothly. And now is the time we will say goodbye for him.
"Q-quin... even though you are not here..... I just want to say that I miss you..... "
"That I'm thankful....."
"I'm thankful that I met you, that I'm able to spend time with you..... I'm thankful because I had a chance to be with you....."
"That.... I'm sorry....."
" I'm sorry because sometimes I'm hard headed..... I'm sorry because I'm childish..... I always make you sad....."
"I wish....."
" I wish I can stay with you longer..... I wish I can hug you..... I wish I could see your warm smile..... I wish I can see your lively eyes..... I wish you to be happy..... I wish you will be safe... no matter where you might go...."
" If I just knew.... I should cherish every moments we spend together. I should care for you. Even in a short amount of time, I should have said these words.... that... I love you....", And I lost it. I started crying, mourning. I don't know what will happen tomorrow... the day after tomorrow... without him. Aunt Lily and mom approached me and hugged me, also crying.
After that, all I can see is Quin getting buried until I can't see him anymore.
-----
I can see the guests going home but I'm still not standing up. I'm still sitting beside Quin's grave.
Maxquin A. Freed
2005 - 2023
Even if he left me, it doesn't mean I will stop loving him. It doesn't mean I will move on. Because he will be my first and last love. And I will cherish our memories especially our last dance.
Fin.
