From This Moment On Part 20

"Good thing Sullivan men are so persuasive, isn't it?"

Chloe wound her arms around Chase's neck as he pulled her closer.

"Yes. It's a very good thing."

Chapter Twenty-two.

Marcus came flying out of the house, only to stop short when he saw Nicola standing beside Lori's car. Nicola knew that if she were smart, she'd keep running away from Marcus, away from everything that hurt so d.a.m.n bad.

But she'd come here today to face him down one last time, hadn't she? Only to panic in front of his entire family.

"Your sister picked me up and brought me here. I can't leave without her."

"Don't leave." Marcus approached her slowly, cautiously. "Please don't leave."

She could still taste the sweetness of his kiss as she licked her lips. "I shouldn't have run like that." She swallowed hard, made herself say, "Not when I know we need to talk."

She saw relief mix with wariness on his face as he came closer. "I'm sorry if I embarra.s.sed you back there."

"It's okay." And it was, because she understood the desperation he'd felt. How could she not, when she felt it too?

"No, Nicola. You deserve better. So much better." He reached out a hand to her. "Give me another chance. Please."

She wanted so badly to take his hand, to give him that chance.

But she couldn't. Not when she knew it would only end up hurting him.

"Marcus." Her throat caught on his name. "Is there somewhere we can go that's more private than this?"

He nodded, his jaw tight as he dropped the hand she hadn't taken. He led them down the sidewalk to a short path that cut between houses. A small children's playground that looked like it hadn't been used in a decade sat forlornly beneath the old oak trees.

"We used to come here and play when we were kids."

Her heart ached for the child Marcus had once been...and for how short his childhood had been. Fourteen years old was far too young to have to shoulder the responsibilities he had taken on.

"Your family is amazing, Marcus." She sat on a cracked bench. "I'm so glad I got to meet them all. There was so much love in your mother's backyard."

He didn't move to sit beside her, but went to his knees in the dirt before her. She let him take her hands, utterly unable to push him away one more time. Not with her hands, anyway.

"Did you mean what you said on the beach? Were you really falling in love with me?"

She met his eyes, read his pain in them, his surprising fear that she might not actually love him. She shouldn't admit that she still did.

But she had to.

"Yes," she said softly. "I love you."

"Thank G.o.d."

"No," she said quickly, "I've done a lot of thinking since last night." She swallowed hard, shook her head, tried to fight back the tears that were right there, waiting to fall. "I can guess why Smith wanted to talk to you in the garage. He was warning you about me, about what it would be like to date me, for real, out in the open, wasn't he?"

"What you and I are doing is none of Smith's business."

"No, but I'll bet everything he said to you about the circus of lives like ours is true."

"I've always liked the circus."

She wanted to throw her arms around him, wanted to kiss him for saying he would give up everything for her. But she knew she'd never forgive herself for being so selfish. And, ultimately, he'd never forgive her either.

He'd already given up so much for his family. She couldn't let him give up even more for her.

"I cheated last night," she confessed. "I looked you up online. I read all about Sullivan Winery. I saw how magnificently you've done with it and what an important role you play in your community. You deserve to have a wife who can support you in all that you do, one who can be an equal partner in it all. Not someone who's on a different plane every week to another state, another country, another hemisphere. It didn't take me more than five minutes with your family to see that you're not like Smith or Lori or even Ryan. You're not about the party. You don't need everyone to want to take your picture. You don't need to use your charm and charisma to try and impress people. Who you are at your core is what's impressive, Marcus, and you don't need a big stage or a crowd to know your own worth."

He opened his mouth to interrupt and she put her hand over his lips before he could say something that would break her resolve.

"See, the thing is, I know my life is crazy and a circus and even though it sometimes drives me nuts that I can't go out like a normal person to get a coffee or go see a movie, I still love it. I don't just want to sing for a little while. I want to be around twenty years from now, still writing and playing songs that millions of people want to listen to."

"You will."

"Thank you for believing in me so much," she told him. "Despite the words we threw at each other yesterday on the beach, you've never treated me like a dumb pop star. You've respected me and now I need to respect you just as much. It's just another reason why I can't do this to you, why I can't ask you to be a part of my world."

"Shouldn't that be my decision, kitten?"

The endearment nearly broke her, enough that she admitted, "Do you know the craziest thing about all of this? I wanted to be the one to heal all of your heartache. But instead-" She had to stop, try to take the breath that was lodged in her throat. "Instead, I was the one who made it all so much worse. I'm so sorry for that, Marcus. So much sorrier than you'll ever know."

She made herself slip her hands from his and stand up. "We can't see each other anymore. If you could take me back to my hotel now, I'd appreciate it."

Some how, some way, she thought as she turned her back on him to walk away, she was going to keep from sobbing until she was alone.

And then, long after he was gone, some how, some way, she would have to find a way to stop.

Marcus moved behind her and put his hand on the small of her back. Just as he had that first night. "Everything you said to me out on the beach about choosing wrong because it was easier than really loving and risking everything, was right."

Surprised, she turned to look him in the eye as he continued with, "I always thought it was my family who needed me. But I've finally realized that I needed them just as much. I needed them to hold onto when everything was so scary and difficult and uncertain, when the man I loved most in the world was suddenly gone one day. But when I met you, I realized I'd finally found someone I was willing to let go of them for."

"No, Marcus," she said, shaking her head. "You shouldn't ever have to let go of your family. You have enough love in your heart for all of them and the family of your own you'll probably have soon." She made herself choke out the words. "I know you're going to find someone perfect for you. Perfect for your life."

"I already have."

The tears she'd vowed not to let loose began to fall. "Please, don't make this any harder than it already is. Not when you and I both know no matter how much we want this to work, that it never will." She looked up at him through her tears. "I'll never regret being with you. Not when they were the most beautiful moments of my life." She took a deep breath that shook through her. "I changed my plane to leave tonight instead of tomorrow morning. I should go back and pack up my things."

She turned to walk back to his mother's house, when his voice stopped her in her tracks one more time.

"We both know you don't want this. We both know one kiss, one touch, is all it would take for me to change your mind."

Gone was the man who'd been pleading with her to listen, to see things from his side. In his place was the dominant lover who had thrilled her so much, made her shiver with desire and showed her the most incredible pleasures.

"You're right, Marcus," she agreed, making herself turn to face him again. "I'm powerless against your kisses. I can't resist the way you touch me." She looked into his eyes and admitted everything, purposefully gave him a fully loaded a.r.s.enal of ammo to use against her. "I can't fight the hunger in your eyes when you look at me or my reaction to it. But is that what you want? For me to be nothing but a warm, willing body that can't resist coming for you?"

Dominance turned to anger in a heartbeat, and then he was moving fast, his hands on her shoulders, his mouth punishing hers as he took everything he wanted, everything she wished she could give him, but couldn't.

As he'd just pointed out, Nicola knew it was pointless to try and fight his kiss. Even in front of his family she'd been lost to her need for him. Even when he was furious with her for trying to leave when he wanted her to stay, even when she should be furious right back at him for finally treating her like the s.e.x kitten he said she didn't need to be anymore, all she could feel was his heart beating against hers...along with her love for him beating just as strong, even as he used her weakness for him against her.

But just when she thought he was going to rip off her clothes and take her right there, up against the old metal slide, he pushed her away and held her out at arm's length.

"This isn't over between us. Not even close."

She let herself take one last long look at him. "It has to be over."

And this time when she made a move to walk away, he let her go.

Only, even after he took her to her hotel, even hours later when she was settled beneath a blanket in First Cla.s.s and the plane was flying away from San Francisco, she knew better.

Marcus Sullivan was a man who decided exactly what he wanted and then went out and took it. And for some crazy reason, he seemed to want her.

As she fell into an uneasy sleep on the plane, even as she told herself she didn't want him to fight for her, her dreams of Marcus-full of his kisses and caresses, his hungry eyes, and his sweet words of love-wouldn't let her hide from the truth.

Chapter Twenty-three.

It had been fifteen days, six hours, and twenty-three minutes since she'd last seen-or heard-from Marcus.

She'd been wrong. He didn't want her.

Nicola knew she should be glad about it, happy that she wasn't going to have to keep resisting him. But she was a long, long way from happy...about as far as she could be, actually.

Her manager walked into her office, waving a fax. "Billboard just let me know that One Moment debuted at number one on the pop charts! And-wait for it, you're going to really freak out when you hear this-your entire tour just sold out in two hours! We're going to need to add dates. A ton of dates. You won't be seeing your house for a good year and a half if we're lucky!"

This was everything she'd ever wanted. The huge smash hit. The big, international sold-out tour. But even as she and Jane hugged and high-fived and Jane started talking a mile a minute about how brilliant Nicola had been to shoot another last-minute video for One Moment-just her and her guitar on an otherwise empty stage-and insist that the record label release the acoustic version, too, Nicola knew that she would have been so much happier if she could have shared this success with Marcus.

She could almost picture him telling her how proud he was, saying he'd known she could do this.

And that he loved her.

Without warning, one fat tear spilled down her cheek. Fortunately, her manager thought it was happy crying and after planting a kiss on both of Nicola's cheeks, she grabbed the phone that was ringing off the hook and spun out of the room to go wheel and deal them into a heck of a lot more money.

Nicola walked over to the window and pressed her hand against the gla.s.s, staring out at the busy Los Angeles streets below. Three weeks ago she'd been staring out at the streets of San Francisco.

She'd been in so many tall buildings. Had visited so many busy cities. The world was her oyster more now than ever. It wasn't that it didn't mean a d.a.m.n thing without love-of course her success meant something. And yet, love made everything so much richer, so much sweeter. Yes, s.e.x with Marcus had been mind-blowing, but just knowing his arms were waiting to hold her, that she could lay her cheek against the steady beat of his heart...well, that was the kind of happiness that lasted forever.

Unfortunately, none of that changed the fact that all the reasons she had to leave him were still true.

Still, as Nicola stood in the window, she silently cursed herself for not letting things with Marcus at least linger longer. Why couldn't she have let herself be happy with him for more than a handful of days?

Nicola turned away from the window with a sigh, knowing exactly why she'd forced herself to get on that plane and leave him for good.

No matter how hard they might have tried to hide their relationship from everyone around them, eventually they would have been caught. The circus would have pulled Marcus in and turned his perfectly ordered life inside out. She couldn't have lived with herself for hurting someone she loved like that, couldn't have stood hearing people question his judgment for getting involved with her.

And yet, a totally contrary part of her wished they hadn't been quite so good at hiding their relationship from the world, because at least if there had been pictures of the two of them on the Internet, maybe they would have had to deal with each other in some small way...rather than being able to cut each other completely away.

She looked down at her watch and realized she'd now officially made it through fifteen days, six hours and thirty-four minutes without him. At some point, the day would come that she wouldn't be counting minutes and hours anymore. And at some point, she'd stop hoping that she'd hear her name on his lips again, an out-of-the-blue "Nicola" that would have her looking up at his shockingly beautiful face, her heart racing with antic.i.p.ation as she waited for him to issue another one of his sensual commands.

d.a.m.n it, setting everything up had taken much longer than he'd antic.i.p.ated. Too long.

Marcus had never been big on watching TV or reading magazines, but for the past two weeks he'd been glued to them. Until he could be with Nicola again, he needed constant rea.s.surance that the women he loved was okay. He'd been ecstatic when her song had gone straight to number one and her tour had sold out immediately. She deserved all of that and more. So much more.

Lori had turned up on his doorstep a couple of nights ago with a plan to get them back together. She'd been beyond pleased when he informed her that he was already on it, and now while she drove him to the airport, they were listening to Nicola being interviewed on the radio.

"I'll be honest with you, Nico," the radio personality said, "when I first heard One Moment it sounded just like any other great pop song that makes me want to dance. But then I saw your acoustic video and finally realized what heart there is behind the song. Tell us about that."

"I've always loved what I do," she replied, her slightly husky voice washing through Marcus's veins like the first perfect cool gla.s.s of wine on a hot, dry day, "but I recently realized that I've only let people see one side of me."

"What made you decide to show us that other side of yourself, the heart-wrenching singer/songwriter that you've been hiding all this time?"

"A friend wasn't afraid to get in my face about it." She laughed and he could practically see her smile, her flashing eyes, even across the radio waves. "I'm afraid I didn't take the advice very well at first, but eventually I came around. And that's why I went to record the song again that way. I love the full production on my songs, I love dancing with my crew, but a stripped-down version of one of my songs was something I've been wanting to do for a very long time."

"So, Nico, what's next on your plate to conquer now that you've got the number one single in the country and a sold-out tour?"

Marcus could feel Lori's eyes on him as they waited for Nicola's response.

"Love."

The interview over, Marcus turned off the radio just as Lori exclaimed, "G.o.d, Marcus, she's amazing, isn't she?"

"She is."

"How could you not have fallen in love with her?"

He shook his head, knowing his sister was speaking the complete and utter truth. "I never had a chance."

Lori covered his hand on the gear shift with her own. "I really hope your plan works out, big brother."

So did he.