Friars and Filipinos Part 31

Dona Victorina was becoming bad-humored. The streets were not paved, and the train of her gown was covered with dust. Besides, they met many young women, who, on pa.s.sing her, cast down their eyes and did not admire her lavish dress as they should have done. Sinang's coachman, who was driving her and her cousin in an elegant carriage, had the impudence to call out tabi [20] to them in such a warning voice that she had to get out of the way, and was only able to exclaim, "Look at that brute of a coachman! I am going to tell his master that he should educate his servants better!"

"Let us go back to the house," she ordered her husband.

He, fearing that there was going to be a storm, turned on his heels and obeyed the command.

They met the alferez on the way back and greeted him. He increased the discontent of Dona Victorina, for he not only failed to compliment her on her dress, but surveyed it almost with a mocking manner.

"You ought not to extend your hand to a simple alferez," said she to her husband as soon as they were some distance away. "He scarcely touches his helmet, and you take off your hat. You don't know how to maintain your rank."

"He is ch--ch--chief here!"

"And what does that matter to us? Are we, perchance, natives?"

"You are right," replied he, not wishing to quarrel.

They pa.s.sed by the officer's house. Dona Consolacion was in the window, as usual, dressed in her flannel outfit and smoking her cigar. As the house was rather low, they could see each other as they pa.s.sed, and Dona Victorina could distinguish her very well. The Muse of the Guardia Civil examined her with tranquillity from head to foot, and, afterward, sticking out her lower lip, spit, turning her face to the other side. That put an end to Dona Victorina's patience, and, leaving her husband without any support, she squared herself in front of the alfereza, trembling with rage, and unable to speak. Dona Consolacion turned her head slowly, looked her over again, and then spit again, but with still greater disdain.

"What is the matter with you, Dona?" said the alfereza.

"Can you tell me, Senora, why you look at me so? Are you envious?" Dona Victorina finally succeeded in saying.

"I envious of you?" said the Medusa with scorn. "O, yes! I envy those curls."

"Come, wife!" said the doctor. "Do--don't take no--no--notice of her!"

"Let me give this shameless common person a lesson!" replied the woman, giving her husband a push. He nearly fell to the ground. Turning to Dona Consolacion, she continued:

"Look how you treat me! Don't think that I am a provincial, or a soldiers' querida! In my house in Manila alferezas never are allowed to come in. They wait at the door."

"Oh-oh! Most Excellent Senora! Alferezas don't enter, but invalids like that out there. Ha, ha, ha!"

If it hadn't been for all the paint on her face, one could have seen Dona Victorina blush. She wanted to throw herself upon her enemy, but the sentry stopped her. In the meantime, the street was filling up with curious people.

"Listen! I lower myself talking with you. People of categoria ... Do you want my clothes to wash? I will pay you well. Do you think that I don't know that you are a washerwoman?"

Dona Consolacion became furious. The reference to her being a washerwoman wounded her.

"Do you think that we do not know what you are? Get out! My husband has already told me. Senora, I, at least, have not belonged to more than one man, but you? One must be pretty hard up to take the leavings."

This shot struck Dona Victorina square in the breast. She rolled up her sleeves, clenched her fists, and, gnashing her teeth, began:

"Come down here, you nasty old thing, that I may smash your filthy mouth."

The Medusa disappeared quickly from the window, but was soon seen coming down the stairs on a run, swinging her husband's whip.

Don Tiburcio interposed, pleading with them, but they would have come to blows if the alferez had not arrived.

"But, senoras!... Don Tiburcio!"

"Teach your woman better; buy her better clothes. If you haven't the money, rob the people. You have your soldiers for that!" shouted Dona Victorina.

"Senora," said the alferez furiously. "Thank yourself that I don't forget that you are a woman; for if you were not, I would kick you to pieces, with all your curls and ribbons."

"Se--se--senor al--alferez!" said Don Tiburcio.

"Go ahead! Kill us! You don't wear big enough trousers, you quack."

And so the battle waged: words, gestures, cries, insults, and injuries. They brought out all the nasty things they could think of, all four speaking at the same time, and, saying so many things and bringing to light so many truths, that we will not relate here all that was said. The people who had gathered around to satisfy their curiosity, if they understood all the remarks, must have enjoyed themselves not a little. They were all waiting to see them come to blows. Unfortunately for the spectators, the curate came along and pacified them.

"Senoras! senoras! What a shame. Senor alferez."

"What are you meddling in these matters for, you hypocrite, you Carlist?"

"Don Tiburcio, take away your wife! Senora, hold your tongue!"

"Tell that to those robbers of the poor!"

Finally, the dictionary of epithets was exhausted. The review of the disgraces of each couple was ended, and little by little they were separated, threatening and insulting each other. Father Salvi kept going from one side to the other, adding life to the scene.

"This very day we will go to Manila and we will present ourselves to the Governor General," said Dona Victorina, in fury to her husband. "You are not a man. It is a shame that you spend money for trousers."

"B--b--but, wife, and the Guardia Civil? I--I--am lame."

"You must challenge him to a duel with pistol or sword or, or----"

And Dona Victorina looked at his false teeth.

"Daughter, I never have used----"

Dona Victorina did not let him finish. With a sublime movement she jerked out his false teeth in the middle of the street, and throwing them to the ground stepped on them. He, half crying, and she sputtering away, arrived at the house. At that time, Linares was talking with Maria Clara, Sinang, and Victoria, and, as he knew nothing about the quarrel, the sudden arrival of his cousins gave him a shock. Maria Clara was lying on a sofa among pillows and blankets, and was not a little surprised at the doctor's new physiognomy.

"Cousin," said Dona Victorina, "you have got to challenge the alferez immediately to a duel, or----"

"And why? what for?" asked Linares, surprised.

"You challenge him right off, or I will tell them all who you are."

"But, Dona Victorina!"

The three young women looked at one another.

"The alferez has insulted us. The old witch came down with her whip, and that thing there allowed it all. A man!"

"Pshaw!" said Sinang. "They have been fighting and we haven't seen it."

"The alferez has broken the doctor's teeth," added Victoria.

"This very day we are going to Manila. You stay here to challenge him to a duel, and, if you don't, I'll tell Don Santiago that all that you have told him is a lie. I will tell him----"