Frank Mildmay Part 39

The thought was sudden, and, being conceived almost in a state of frenzy, was instantly executed. "Let me try," said I, "whether a bishop can administer to the mind diseased as well as a country curate."

I moved on with rapidity to the palace, more in a fit of desperation than with a view of seeking peace of mind. I rang loudly and vehemently at the gate, and asked whether the bishop was at home. An elderly domestic, who seemed to regard me with astonishment, answered me in the affirmative, and desired me to walk into an ante-room, while he announced me to his master.

I now began to recall my scattered senses, which had been wandering, and to perceive the absurdity of my conduct; I was therefore about to quit the palace, into which I had so rudely intruded, without waiting for my audience, when the servant opened the door and requested me to follow him.

By what inscrutable means are the designs of Providence brought about!

While I thought I was blindly following the impulse of pa.s.sion, I was, in fact, guided by unerring Wisdom. A prey to desperate and irritated feelings, I antic.i.p.ated, with malignant pleasure, that I should detect hypocrisy--that one who ought to set an example, should be weighed by me, and found wanting; instead of which I stumbled on my own salvation!

Where I expected to meet with pride and scorn, I met humility and kindness; when I had looked around on the great circle bounded by the visible horizon, and could perceive no friendly port into which I might lay my shattered vessel, behold it was close at hand!

I followed the servant with a kind of stupid indifference, and was ushered into the presence of a benevolent-looking old man, between sixty and seventy years of age. His whole external appearance, as well as his white hairs, commanded respect amounting almost to admiration. I was not prepared to speak, which he perceived, and kindly began:

"As you are a stranger to me, I fear, from your care-worn countenance, that it is no common occurrence which has brought you here. Sit down: you seem in distress; and if it is in my power to afford you relief, you may be a.s.sured that I will do so."

There was in his manner and address an affectionate kindness which overcame me. I could neither speak nor look at him; but, laying my head on the table, and hiding my face with my hands, I wept bitterly. The good bishop allowed me reasonable time to recover myself, and, with extreme good-breeding, mildly requested that, if it were possible, I would confide to him the cause of my affliction.

"Be not afraid or ashamed, my good lad," said he, "to tell me your sorrows. If we have temporal blessings, we do not forget that we are but the almoners of the Lord: we endeavour to follow his example; but, if I may judge from appearance, it is not pecuniary aid you have come to solicit."

"No, no," replied I; "it is not money that I want:" but, choked with excess of feeling, I could say no more.

"This is indeed a more important case than one of mere bodily want,"

said the good man. "_That_ we might very soon supply; but there seems something in your condition which requires our more serious attention.

I thank the Almighty for selecting me to this service; and, with His blessing, we shall not fail of success."

Then, going to the door, he called to a young lady, who I afterwards discovered was his daughter; and holding the door ajar as he spoke, that I might not be seen in my distress, said, "Caroline, my dear, write to the duke, and beg him to excuse my dining with him to-day. Tell him that I am kept at home by business of importance; and give orders that I be not interrupted on any account."

He then turned the key in the door, and, drawing a chair close to mine, begged me, in the most persuasive manner, to tell him everything without reserve, in order that he might apply such a remedy as the case seemed to demand.

I first asked for a gla.s.s of wine, which was instantly brought; he received it at the door, and gave it to me with his own hand.

Having drunk it, I commenced the history of my life in a brief outline, and ultimately told him all; nearly as much in detail as I have related to the reader. He listened to me with an intense and painful interest, questioning me as to my feelings on many important occasions; and having at length obtained from me an honest and candid confession, without any extenuation--

"My young friend," said he, "your life has been one of peculiar temptation and excess--much to deplore, much to blame, and much to repent of; but the state of feeling which induced you to come to me is a proof that you now only require that which, with G.o.d's help, I trust I shall be able to supply. It is now late, and we both of us require some refreshment, I will order in dinner, and you must send to the inn for your portmanteau."

Perceiving that I was about to answer--"I must take no denial," resumed he. "You have placed yourself under my care, as your physician, and you must follow my prescriptions. My duty is as much more important, compared to the doctor's, as the soul is to the body."

Dinner being served, he dismissed the servants as soon as possible, and then asked me many questions relative to my family, all of which I answered without reserve. He once mentioned Miss Somerville; but I was so overcome, that he perceived my distress, and filling me a gla.s.s of wine, changed the subject.

If I thought that any words of mine could do justice to the persuasive discourses of this worthy bishop, I would have benefited the world by making them public; but I could not do this; and I trust that none of my readers will have so much need of them as I had myself. I shall therefore briefly state, that I remained in the palace ten days, in the most perfect seclusion.

Every morning the good bishop dedicated two or three hours to my instruction and improvement; he put into my hands one or two books at a time, with marks in them, indicating the pages which I ought to consult.

He would have introduced me to his family; but this I begged for a time to decline, being too much depressed and out of spirits; and he indulged me in my request of being allowed to continue in the apartments allotted to me.

On the seventh morning, he came to me and after a short conversation, informed me that business would require his absence for two or three days, and that he would give me a task to employ me during the short time he should be gone. He then put into my hand a work on the Sacrament. "This," said he, "I am sure you will read with particular attention, so that on my return I may invite you to the feast." I trembled as I opened the book, "Fear not, Mr Mildmay," said he; "I tell you, from what I see of your symptoms, that the cure will be complete."

Having said this, he gave me his blessing, and departed. He returned exactly at the end of three days, and after a short examination, said he would allow me to receive the Sacrament, and that the holy ceremony should take place in his own room privately, well knowing how much affected I should be. He brought in the bread and wine; and having consecrated and partaken of them himself, agreeably to the forms prescribed, he made a short extempore prayer in my behalf.

When he had done this, he advanced towards me, and presented the bread.

My blood curdled as I took it in my mouth; and when I had tasted the wine, the type of the blood of that Saviour whose wounds I had so often opened afresh in my guilty career, and yet upon the merits of which I now relied for pardon, I felt a combined sensation of love, grat.i.tude, and joy a lightness and buoyancy of spirits, as if I could have left the earth below me, disburthened of a weight that had, till then, crushed me to the ground. I felt that I had faith--that I was a new man--and that my sins were forgiven; and, dropping my head on the side of the table, I remained some minutes in grateful and fervent prayer.

The service being ended, I hastened to express my acknowledgments to my venerable friend.

"I am but the humble instrument, my dear young friend," said the bishop; "let us both give thanks to the Almighty Searcher of hearts. Let us hope that the work is perfect--for then you will be the occasion of 'joy in heaven.' And now," continued he, "let me ask you one question. Do you feel in that state of mind that you could bear any affliction which might befall you, without repining?"

"I trust, sir," answered I, "that I could bear it, not only cheerfully, but thankfully; and I now acknowledge that it is good for me that I have been in trouble."

"Then all is right," said he; "and with such feelings I may venture to give you this letter, which I promised the writer to deliver with my own hand."

As soon as my eye caught the superscription, "Gracious Heaven!"

exclaimed I, "it is from my Emily."

"Even so," said the bishop.

I tore it open. It contained only six lines, which were as follows:

"Our mutual kind friend the bishop has proved to me how proud and how foolish I have been. Forgive me, dear Frank, for I too have suffered much; and come as soon as possible to your ever affectionate EMILY."

This, then, was the object of the venerable bishop's absence. Bending beneath age and infirmity, he had undertaken a journey of three hundred miles, in order to ensure the temporal as well as eternal welfare of a perfect stranger--to effect a reconciliation, without which he saw that my worldly happiness was incomplete. I was afterwards informed, that notwithstanding the weight of his character and holy office, he had found Emily more decided in her rejection than he had antic.i.p.ated; and it was not until he had sharply rebuked her for her pride and unforgiving temper, that she could be brought to listen with patience to his arguments. But having at length convinced her that the tenure of her own hopes depended on the forgiveness of others, she relented, acknowledged the truth of his remarks, and her undiminished affection for me. While she made this confession, she was in the same position before the bishop that I was when I received her letter--on my knees, and in tears.

He gave me his hand, raised me up, "And now, my young friend," said he, "let me give you one caution. I hope and I trust that your repentance is sincere. If it be not, the guilt must rest on your head; but I trust in G.o.d that all is as it should be. I will not, therefore, detain you any longer: you must be impatient to be gone. Refreshment is prepared for you: my horses will take you the first stage. Have you funds sufficient to carry you through? for it is a long journey, as my old bones can testify."

I a.s.sured him that I was sufficiently provided; and, expressing my thanks for his kindness, wished that it was in my power to prove my grat.i.tude. "Put me to the test, my lord," said I, "if you possibly can."

"Well, then," replied he, "I will. When the day for your union with Miss Somerville is fixed, allow me to have the pleasure of joining your hands, should it please G.o.d to spare me so long. I have removed the disease; but I must trust to somebody else to watch and prevent a relapse. And believe me, my dear friend, however well inclined a man may be to keep in the straight path, he gains no little support from the guidance and example of a lovely and virtuous woman."

I promised readily all he asked; and, having finished a slight lunch, again shook hands with the worthy prelate, jumped into my carriage, and drove off. I travelled all night; and the next day was in the society of those I loved, and who had ever loved me, in spite of all my perverseness and folly.

A few weeks after, Emily and I were united by the venerable bishop, who, with much emotion, gave us his benediction; and, as the prayer of the righteous man availeth much, I felt that it was recorded in our favour in heaven. Mr Somerville gave the bride away. My father, with Talbot and Clara, were present; and the whole of us, after all my strange vicissitudes, were deeply affected at this reconciliation and union.