Fowler Sisters: Stealing Rose Part 28

"She should be," I agree wholeheartedly. "She has every right to be furious with me."

"Right. So you need to think this through. Make this right. You can't tell her you want to be with her because she's going to have your baby," Cash says.

"Why the f.u.c.k not?" That just gives me more reason to want to be with her. She needs me now more than ever and I want to be there for her.

"She'll think you're with her because of the baby and for no other reason."

"But that wouldn't be true. I love her. I want to be with her." I blink, absorbing his words. What Cash is saying does make sense ...

"What was your plan anyway, huh, kid? You've avoided her for the last two months. What exactly were you doing?"

"Straightening out my life. I already told you that."

"You got that job within a week of your return," Cash points out.

Less than that. I interviewed on a Monday and was working my first day that Wednesday. "Yeah, but I didn't know if it was going to stick. I still don't know if it is. I have another month before Stanton decides to make me a permanent employee," I say.

Cash makes a frustrated noise. "You're in. You don't have to worry about that."

"And I wanted to get a nice place. I can't keep staying at your place, Cash." I've been looking for something in Brooklyn, closer to my work.

"Rose has a very nice apartment downtown."

"Yeah. I know. I wanted to have things on my own merit. I wanted to prove to her that I can be the man she wants. The man she needs. I don't want to have to rely on her money or anything like that," I say bitterly.

"I don't think she'd care as long as she has you." Cash's eyes are full of sympathy. "She looked so lost, Caden. Just about as lost as you do. When Cora and I left that party, I told her who Rose was to you."

"Ah, f.u.c.k." I rub the back of my neck, hating that he said anything to Mom.

"She burst into tears, son, and told me Rose had thrown up in the bathroom when she was in there. And then she fainted ... It was your mom who came to the conclusion that she must be pregnant. She cried because she knows that Rose is carrying her grandbaby."

The guilt is heavy, almost too much to bear. Cash is laying it on thick, the a.s.s. He knows just how to work me. I can hardly process the thought that Rose is pregnant. With my baby. "Have you had this confirmed? That Rose is really pregnant?"

"No. But it's simple math, son. Two plus two equals baby."

"I need to go to her," I say, shaking my head when the waitress pauses by our table, a pitcher of iced tea held up high in her hand, indicating she wants to give me a refill. "But you're right. I need a plan."

"You need to tell her that you want to be with her not because she's having your baby but because you love her." Cash shakes his head. "Jacka.s.s move, leaving her that note, staying away from her so you can try and prove that you're worthy."

At the time it seemed like the right thing to do. We needed distance, because with distance comes clarity. I left her the note and went back to Mitch.e.l.l's house, hiding out there until we flew out of London that Sunday night. I immediately went to my job interview with Stanton first thing Monday morning and he gave me the position right then and there.

It all fell into place, just as I hoped it would. I'd work hard, save up, live a respectable life, and give up all criminal activity once and for all. I changed my phone number, not wanting any of those old temptations to call me and try to coerce me into something I shouldn't be doing. No one could reach me, beyond Cash, Mom, and my new boss and fellow employees.

I am a new man. A working man. An honest man.

A man who's going to be a father in approximately ... "How far along is she?"

"You should know better than I do."

I shrug, feeling like an idiot. I'm a guy. I don't pay attention to those types of things. "Around two months I guess?" So I'll be a father in seven months. I mentally count. There will be a baby born in March. My baby.

Holy. f.u.c.king. s.h.i.t.

"She's so young," I tell Cash, soaking up the guilt that's consuming me at the realization that I did this to her. I'm the one who got her pregnant. Does she hate me for it? Or is she happy that she's having a baby? Does she feel all right? If she looks pale and is vomiting and fainting, then no, she can't be. This pregnancy must be hard on her.

And I'm the one to blame.

"So," Cash says, peering at me, his gaze hard. "Are you sure you're ready for this type of responsibility? It's big, son. It'll change your entire life, leave you connected to this girl forever, whether you end up together or not. So know where you stand on this. Don't go running to her declaring your true love for her and then ditch her months later. She's going to need you more than ever. This is a huge commitment. So." He stares at me hard and repeats himself. "You ready for this?"

Am I ready? I think I am. I should be. I left Rose because I didn't feel worthy of her. I firmly believed she deserved a much better man and I would never measure up. I wrote that letter pouring my heart out on the pages and the minute I snuck out of her hotel room, leaving her all alone and sleeping naked in that bed, my baby already inside her and oblivious to what I'd just done, I became consumed with regret.

You don't walk out on love. You stay and fight for it. You prove to the woman who means more to you than anyone or anything else that you will do whatever it takes to make her happy.

It's been two long months now. More than enough time to f.u.c.k everything up. She might have changed her mind. She's probably over me. She should be over me. I'd deserve that.

I don't deserve her love.

I don't deserve her.

But I'm going to do whatever it takes to get her back and make her mine. If I have to beg, cheat, borrow, or steal, I will do it.

Whatever it takes.

Because Rose Fowler belongs to me.

Chapter Twenty-six.

Rose

Seven o'clock tonight. Don't be late. And don't forget!

I stare at Lily's text and with an irritated sigh, I shove my cell back into my purse, then shut the desk drawer that I keep my purse in. Leaning my elbows on the edge of my desk, I press my fingers to my temples, rubbing gently. I have a headache and I'm not allowed to use ibuprofen, which sucks.

This baby is doing everything in its power to make me miserable, and the little booger is succeeding. I had no idea pregnancy was so d.a.m.n hard, not that I've experienced it through anyone else, anyone close to me. None of my friends from school whom I'm still in contact with-and there are very few; most of us scattered in the wind the minute we graduated-have been pregnant. Most of them haven't even gotten married yet.

I'm young. Only twenty-two. I saw the way the doctor looked at me when I went in for my appointment last week. No man with me, I'm sure I looked young and scared and hopeless. I don't feel hopeless, though. Scared, yes. I heard the baby's heartbeat at that appointment and I almost wanted to cry. It was loud and so fast. I rubbed my hand over my still flat belly for the rest of the night, knowing that there's life in there. Real life, confirmed by my doctor.

"You're young and healthy and with no prior medical conditions," the doctor had told me before he exited the examination room. "This should be a very easy pregnancy."

Easy for him to say. He isn't the one living on crackers and ginger ale, hovering over a toilet in the middle of the night. I sleep with a plastic bowl on my bedside table just in case. I've been miserable.

But a twinge of happiness is starting to form, too. I'm closing in on the end of the first trimester, and supposedly that is the hardest part when it comes to morning sickness. I'd finally confessed to Violet about my pregnancy thanks to Lily's nonstop nagging, and though she was worried, I could tell she's genuinely happy for me.

I haven't told my father yet. As if he would care. He's too consumed in wedding plans with Pilar. Gross.

Then there's Lily. My crazy, without-a-care-in-the-world oldest sister, has stepped up to the plate and been there for me every step of the way. She was p.i.s.sed when she found out I went to the doctor without her. She wanted to be there, to hear the baby's heartbeat too, and I felt bad that I left her out. Next time, I promised her, and I know she'll hold me to it.

Now she's setting up dinner get-togethers and she invited me over. I don't want to go. I'd rather stay home and read a book or watch TV and not think about what I'm going to do with my life. Eventually I have to try to find Caden and tell him what's going on. He deserves to know.

And I know exactly who to talk to when I'm ready to find him. That man named Cash. The one who's dating Caden's mother.

Holy s.h.i.t, that entire meeting had been surreal. I'd fainted and scared them all. I woke up to all three of their faces hovering above mine, and when I focused on Cora Kingsley's features, I knew without a doubt she was Caden's mom. Same eyes, same crease in between their brows when they're worried, same smile.

I was staring at the face of my unborn child's grandmother and it was all just so ... weird.

Lily convinced our father that I needed to go home and rest that night, laying on the guilt trip extra thick when she mentioned I threw up and fainted. She blamed it on a flu going around and Daddy fell for it.

Thank G.o.d.

I stop rubbing my temples and grab my phone again, cursing myself for being so weak. I don't want to work. I can't focus. Not like I have any big projects going on anyhow. I'd come up with a new plan where I was going to ask my father to let me go on sabbatical. For just enough time to have the baby, be home for a few months, and establish a routine before I go back to work.

I think he'll go for that idea a lot better than if I just upped and quit.

Pushing all thoughts of my father and my future firmly out of my mind, I send a quick text to Lily.

Who's all going to be there?

She answers immediately.

A few people you know.

Huh. Well, that couldn't be any more vague.

It's not going to be one of those long, crazy parties you like to have, is it?

She knows I've gone into low-key mode. And I can hardly keep my eyes open beyond ten o'clock lately. I feel like an old lady.

I wouldn't do that to you. I know you're not feeling well. Don't worry. Everything's going to be fine. I just need you there right at seven.

Weird. She's being elusive and I'm not sure why.

I'll be there. Do you need me to bring anything?

She'll say no, but I had to ask.

Just your pretty face. Wear something cute.

Ugh. I roll my eyes.

Don't you dare try to set me up with anyone. Besides, who would want to date me? I'm knocked up with another guy's baby.

Lily sends me a smiley face with hearts for eyes in answer and I laugh.

Some guys might think that's s.e.xy.

Please. She's delusional.

There's only one guy I want to find me s.e.xy and clearly he's not interested.

I don't know that for sure, but it feels that way.

You'll find out someday. We're going to track him down and tell him everything.

Nerves eat at my stomach just seeing those words.

Yeah, I type. Someday.

No reply.

Lily's apartment isn't too far from mine and I walk over, enjoying the late-summer evening. For whatever reason the night sky feels full of potential, which in turn fills me with hope.

I can get through this. No trial is too big or too small for me to handle.

Resting my hand on my stomach, I'm thankful I actually feel like a halfway normal person this evening. I'm at the tail end of the tenth week, and though I don't want to get my hopes up for fear it'll come back at me tenfold, I think this so-called morning sickness-because really, it's been morning, noon, and night-is almost over.

I enter the building and smile and wave at the security guard behind the ma.s.sive desk. He buzzes me in and I head to the elevator, trying to ignore the nerves that come over me.

It won't be so bad, this little get-together. Lily's been so sensitive to my feelings and I appreciate that. We've never been close, Lily and I. That was for me and Violet. Lily always seemed to be off in her own little world, doing her thing, driving our father crazy and enjoying every minute of it.

Violet and I were always closer, both in age and in personality. This baby I'm carrying inside of me is bringing so many blessings already, like my sister and me forging a stronger relationship. I'm thankful for that.

Thankful for so many things tonight that for the first time since I came home from London, I almost feel ... carefree.

I knock on the door and wait for Lily to answer. I hear nothing coming from within, which is odd. Usually Lily's parties are loud. She always invites a bunch of people over and though she said this gathering would be small, I know how she is. If everyone else is quiet, then Lily at least is yelling about something.

Long minutes later, when I'm pulling out my cell phone and getting ready to send her a nasty text, I hear the locks being undone and then the door swings open.

"Good." She smiles but she quickly glances over her shoulder, worry in her gaze. "You're here."

I frown at her. She's not in her usual party dress, either. And when I say "party dress" like she's a little girl, I mean it. If there's a party to be had, Lily's usually the best-dressed attendee. She can't seem to help herself.

But tonight she's wearing little denim cutoff shorts and a tank top. Her hair is in a sloppy ponytail and there's not a lick of makeup on her face. Odd.

"I'm completely overdressed," I tell her, waving a hand at the comfortable long cotton strapless dress I'm wearing. It's turquoise and dotted with little white squiggles and currently the most comfortable thing I own. I don't have a full-on belly yet, but there's a slight pooch and I hate wearing anything that restricts my waist and stomach.

"I'm, um, still getting ready. Not everyone's here yet." Her gaze skitters away from mine and I have the weirdest sense that she's lying to me.