Forgiving Hearts: For Better or Worse Part 3

He watched as she dove through the crowd with an efficiency that spoke of experience. Jackson was studying the huge menu boards adorning the walls and trying to ignore his growling stomach when she returned.

"Marty is holding a table for us. He hates standing in line."

So did Jackson. "Is it always like this?"

She nodded. "Once you taste the roast beef, you'll understand."

"Right now, I'm hungry enough to eat anything."

Fifteen minutes later they were finally sitting down to eat. The two men were soon deep in a conversation about horse-power and torque that completely excluded Nicole. She watched them with the air of a proud mother, an amused smile coming and going on her face.

The parking lot was only slightly less crowded when they left the restaurant. As he opened the door of the truck for Nicole to get in, Jackson noticed a car pulling into the open spot on the other side. He walked around the rear of the truck to wait on the pa.s.senger of the car to get out. A man opened the door, but instead of exiting, he leaned toward the driver. Jackson realized with some amus.e.m.e.nt that they were kissing.

Rolling his eyes, he went back around the other way and stood on the sidewalk. Surely the affectionate couple in the car would notice he was waiting. He glanced into the truck long enough to see Nicole laughing at his predicament. Just when he decided to make his presence known, the driver of the car emerged. Jackson felt his heart drop into his shoes.

Hannah's look of embarra.s.sment would have been funny in other circ.u.mstances. As it was, Jackson wanted to be anywhere else. The man finally got out and joined her on the sidewalk.

"Hey, Jackson. Sorry we kept you waiting."

"That's okay."

"This is too weird. I was just telling Bradley about running into you."

She hadn't been telling Bradley anything. She'd been kissing him.

Her eyes strayed to Nicole waiting in the truck. "Well, it was great to see you. Have a nice day."

With a nod in their direction, Jackson got into the truck. He must have been more successful at hiding his disappointment than he thought because other than a comment about the man's rudeness, Nicole had nothing to say about Hannah and Bradley. She returned to the subject of Marty.

The trip back to the clinic seemed endless. Jackson couldn't rid his mind of the picture of the woman he loved kissing someone else. She had just ended a long relationship with Mitch.e.l.l. How could she already be involved with another man?

The rigid control and discipline that characterized Jackson enabled him to rebound from what happened in the parking lot. He couldn't afford to let personal issues affect his ability to do his job. His patients deserved all of his attention.

By the time he got home, he'd schooled his mind to accept the situation. All of his goals in coming here were still within reach. The world wasn't going to end because Hannah had a boyfriend, and it wasn't as if he had a chance with her anyway.

The next few days pa.s.sed quickly enough. As he was getting ready to leave work on Friday, he remembered Amanda's birthday party. In spite of what Laurel had said, he couldn't show up without a gift. He walked into the gym to see if anyone was still hanging around.

"Jamie, you have kids, don't you?" Jackson asked the man working on the hot pack machine.

"Yeah, do you want to borrow one?"

"No, I need to know what to get a little girl as a birthday gift."

"Get a gift card. You can't go wrong with one of those."

"That's a great idea; then she can pick out what she wants."

"Exactly, and you won't end up getting her something she already has. The Publix at Parkway Crossing has a huge rack of them. It's been a lifesaver for me on more than one occasion."

Jackson knew all about the Publix at Parkway Crossing. He'd been avoiding it like the plague. It appeared his self-imposed ban on the store was going to be lifted. "I'll stop by on my way home. Have a good weekend."

His behavior since seeing Hannah with Bradley disgusted him. Mature men didn't allow minor disappointments to affect them to this degree. Hannah didn't know he loved her and had no idea what it did to him to see her with someone else. This was his problem, and he needed to deal with it.

The resolve resulting from this internal heart-to-heart talk lasted only until he walked into the store. Jackson wiped his sweating palms on his pants with an impatient sigh. It was absurd that a grown man could get this nervous. Wishing he could get his body to behave like an adult instead of a teenager with raging hormones, he made his way to the deli.

He decided to get a rotisserie chicken. What he didn't eat, Freya would. The elderly couple ahead of him got the last one. He asked the woman behind the counter when the next batch would be ready and was told thirty minutes. Too long to stand around; he decided to do his other shopping and come back.

Once the final item on his list had been checked off, he returned to the front of the store and surveyed the rack of gift cards. Someone walked up behind him. Jackson knew who it was before she said a word.

"Hi, Jackson."

He turned around to face her. "Hey, Hannah. How's it going?"

"Great. What did you think of Flannagans?"

He would never forget Flannagans, and it wasn't because of the food. "They make roast beef almost as good as my mom."

She threw him a teasing smile. "You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend."

"I don't have a girlfriend. Nicole is my boss."

"Oh, really? I was hoping you'd found someone. You didn't date much in high school."

Much? He hadn't dated at all in high school. "I'm looking for a gift card for a little girl. Should I get the one to Toys R Us, Wal-Mart or Target?"

"I'd get the Wal-Mart card because it's closer. Her parents won't have to drive so far."

He smiled down at her. "That's a good idea. Thanks."

She glanced into the cart. "Not a single microwave dinner. You must know how to cook."

"I know the basics."

"Based on what I see here, you do better than that. What are you fixing tonight?"

"Rotisserie chicken courtesy of your deli."

Hannah laughed. "That's what I'm planning to do. Bradley and I were supposed to go out to dinner, but he got called away on business."

At those words, Jackson's common sense as well as any idea of self-preservation flew out the window. "You're welcome to eat with me."

"You'd have to eat late again. I don't get off until seven."

"That's fine. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"No need for that. I have my car back. What's your address?"

"It's 5538 Pelican Lane."

"That's right around the corner from here. I'll see you a little after seven."

All the way home, Jackson wondered if he was losing his mind or if he just liked punishing himself. Wasn't he complicating an already challenging scenario? Hannah was involved with someone else. If that wasn't enough of a deterrent, she was still in love with Mitch.e.l.l. This situation had all the signs of a lost cause.

After going for a walk with Freya that should have settled his agitation but increased it instead, he took a shower and changed clothes. He hadn't been in the house long enough to get it messy, but the thought of doing nothing for an hour was unthinkable.

Grabbing the vacuum, he headed to the living room. Hannah might never go in there, but at least if she did, it would look nice. Back in the kitchen, he loaded the few dishes in the sink into the dishwasher and wiped down the already immaculate counter. The dining room received an inspection, but since he hadn't eaten in there yet, there was nothing to clean. All he had to do was set the table.

Grateful for the wisdom of his mother, he removed the newly purchased and never used plates and gla.s.ses from the cabinet. Given his dislike of doing dishes, Jackson hardly ever used anything but paper plates and plastic cups. He wasn't going to do that with Hannah.

When the wall clock showed seven, Jackson was equally relieved and nervous. He couldn't understand why he was so much more on edge tonight as opposed to the other evening when he'd taken her to dinner. Other than finding out she had a boyfriend, nothing had changed. If anything, he should be relaxed. There was no pressure to impress or worry about looking foolish. They were just two people sharing a meal.

Freya's bark told him Hannah was in the driveway. "Calm down before you have a heart attack," he muttered to himself as he walked over to open the door. His glance noted the fatigue in her eyes. Reaching forward, he slid the bag off her shoulders.

"Thanks, Jackson. By the end of the day, that thing weighs a ton."

He lifted it up and down. "What's in there? A rock collection?"

She chuckled. "A little bit of everything."

He led her into the dining room and pulled out a chair. "Have a seat; what can I fix you to drink?"

"I need caffeine, but I'm trying to wean myself off. I'll take water."

"I have Sierra Mist. It's caffeine free."

"Okay, I'll try it."

Jackson returned to the kitchen and absently pulled the liter of soda out of the refrigerator. She was as lovely as ever, but Hannah's air of exhaustion bothered him. Was she working too many hours and not eating? Or was she just missing Mitch.e.l.l?

When he handed her the tall gla.s.s, she smiled. "Thanks. It's nice to be waited on for a change."

"I'm not doing anything you haven't already done for me. When I fixed your flat tire, you brought me lemonade."

"It was so hot that day. I felt awful asking you to do that."

"That afternoon was the highlight of my summer."

She laughed. "Yeah, right. You were too nice to tell me to do it myself."

"No, that wasn't it. I'll go get the food."

After arranging the dishes on the table, he sat down and with a quick glance in her direction, bowed his head to pray. "Father, thank You for this meal and the job that provided it. It's another example of Your love and care for us. May we never take that for granted. In Jesus' name I pray, amen."

Hannah pa.s.sed him the chicken. "Did you find a church?"

"Yes, I did. You're welcome to come with me this Sunday if you're free."

"I don't have to work, but Bradley and I are spending the day with friends in Jacksonville."

That wasn't what he wanted to hear. "Where did you meet Bradley?"

"He was the manager of the Gainesville store where I worked. Now he's a regional sales manager. He got me the job I have now. We only recently started dating. I was with Mitch.e.l.l for so long; it's hard to start over with someone else."

"From where I was standing the other day, you're doing okay."

Her cheeks turned a rosy pink. "Yes, well, appearances can be deceiving. Bradley is a nice guy, but..."

"He isn't Mitch.e.l.l," Jackson finished for her.

She took the plate of rolls from him. "I thought going out with him would help, and it does temporarily, but it doesn't last."

"Love isn't something you can turn on and off quickly or easily."

"Or at all. Sometimes I feel as if I'm fighting a losing battle. The worst part is knowing that if Mitch.e.l.l called me right now and said he would marry me, I'd jump in my car and go back to him. I never thought I could be so weak and pathetic."

"It's not weak and pathetic, Hannah. It's the reality of being in love. The only advice I can give you is to pray. Jesus loves you and if you ask Him, He'll give you the strength and wisdom to get through this. That doesn't mean all the pain will disappear overnight, but it's possible to achieve a peace of mind that's worth more than everything else. G.o.d knows us better than anyone else. He doesn't promise to give us what we want; He gives us what we need."

"I don't think G.o.d wants to hear from me. I've ignored Him for years."

"He's right where you left Him. All you have to do is pray."

"You make it sound so easy."

"Just talk to Him like you're talking to me."

"Jackson, it's not the same."

"You won't know until you try." He sensed her withdrawal and decided to change the subject. All he could do was point her in the right direction; the rest was up to Hannah. "I a.s.sume from what you said the other day that you never finished college. Have you made any plans to go back?"

"I started this semester. Since I have to work, I'm only taking two cla.s.ses and even that is challenging with my schedule. I'm trying to save enough money so I can work less and go to school more."

"What are you taking?"

"English composition and algebra. I'm doing okay with the writing, but the math is killing me. I don't remember doing any of this stuff in high school. Yesterday, I stayed up until two in the morning trying to figure out how to solve quadratic equations."

"I'm not a math whiz, but I'll be glad to help you."

"Would you really?"

"I can spare a few evenings for someone I've known my entire life."

"It may require more than a few evenings. Are you sure you want to take this on?"

She didn't know he'd do anything to spend time with her. "I'm sure. When do you want to start?"