Forgiving Hearts: For Better or Worse Part 22

"What about Sophia?"

"She prefers cereal and toast with grape jelly."

Hannah took his hand and brought it to her cheek. "I'll miss you tomorrow."

His smile was gentle as his fingers cupped her face. "I'll miss you, too." His eyes fell to her lips and he sighed deeply. "I need to get my clothes ready."

"Can I help you?"

"Sure. You can watch me iron shirts."

"Or you could watch me iron shirts."

That would be torture. "It's best that I do the ironing. My hands need something to do." He laughed as her cheeks went pink. "I guess I should have phrased that differently."

"Actually, it's nice to hear things like that."

"There's more that I could say and do, but it's not the right time. I don't want half measures. If you come to me, it will be because you love me and want to be my wife." When she would have spoken, he put a finger on her lips. "Don't say it now, please. It will only make it worse if you realize later that you spoke too soon. Let me go get my shirts."

As he walked away, Hannah whispered, "I wonder if he'll ever believe me."

A week later, Hannah was mopping the kitchen floor when the doorbell rang. Her heart almost stopped when she looked through the spygla.s.s and saw Mitch.e.l.l. The mop in her hand fell to the floor as a surge of panic swept over her. This is what she'd been waiting on, so why was she so scared? Mitch.e.l.l had to be faced; her future depended on it. And it was better that she do it alone, without Jackson.

The doorbell rang again, reminding her that she needed to make a decision. If she didn't take care of this now, he'd keep coming back. "Lord, please give me the right words to say to end this thing once and for all."

She picked up the mop and propped it against the wall. Then she slowly opened the door. "h.e.l.lo, Mitch.e.l.l."

"You remember me," he said with a grin.

"Sort of. It would have been better to let me know you were coming."

"Well, since I'm here, can I come in?"

"Sure, but if you'll excuse me for a minute, I need to let Jackson know."

"You never needed to before. Are you afraid to see me alone?"

"I've kept enough secrets from him. I don't intend to keep any more. Have a seat. I'll be right back."

Hannah walked swiftly down the hall into her room and grabbed the phone off the dresser. Jackson answered on the second ring.

"I was just thinking about you," he said softly.

He sounded so happy. She hated that what she had to tell him would change that. "Jackson, Mitch.e.l.l is here."

There was a moment of dreadful silence and then, "I'm coming home."

"You don't need to do that. This is something I need to take care of. And, Jackson, please trust me. I know I haven't given you any reason to, but please do it."

"It's not you that I don't trust."

Did that mean he trusted her? A knot formed in her throat. "I have to do this alone; it's important to me. Mitch.e.l.l is my problem."

Another longer pause. "Then that's the way we'll do it. Call me if you need me."

When she came back into the room, Mitch.e.l.l was holding a picture of Sophia. It took everything she had not to s.n.a.t.c.h it out of his hands.

"She looks like you," he said.

Hannah ignored this. If he'd cared at all about Sophia, he wouldn't have allowed another man to raise her. "Why are you here?"

"I came to see if you'd come to your senses. I couldn't take you to New York when you didn't know who I was."

She looked at him curiously. "I'm not entirely sure now. I remember some things about you, but there are gaps in my memory."

"I'll be glad to fill them in for you. You and I have been together on and off since high school. For the last two years, we've been living in New York. Our apartment overlooks Central Park. We spend the weekends in a cabin on a lake in Connecticut."

"That's all very interesting, but why did I leave?"

"You got this insane idea in your head that I was cheating on you."

"Were you?"

Mitch.e.l.l took a step closer. "I've never cheated on you. I love you."

As her eyes searched his, partial scenes and s.n.a.t.c.hes of conversations flitted through her mind. "There was more to it than that." She hesitated. "Something happened to me. I didn't want to be with you anymore." He tried to take her hand, but she pulled away.

"That's not true. Jackson told you that," he accused.

She shook her head. "Jackson hasn't told me anything about my life with you. How could he? He knows nothing about it."

Mitch.e.l.l crossed his arms, a mocking smile on his face. "You wouldn't know the difference either way. I knew it was a mistake to leave. He's had you to himself for ten days. He appears to have put that time to good use, filling your head with lies."

"Jackson doesn't lie to get what he wants, Mitch.e.l.l. He's not like you and me. He's good and decent."

"He's really done a number on you, hasn't he? Has he reminded you why you married him? It was because I wouldn't marry you. Then you left him to come back to me. Isn't that enough proof for you? It's obvious who you love, and who you want to be with."

"I can't do anything about the past, but I can take control of my future. I love Jackson and if necessary, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to prove it to him."

He grabbed her and pulled her into his arms. "You don't love him," he said through clenched teeth. "You've never loved him."

Her eyes flashed angrily. "Let go of me, Mitch.e.l.l."

"If words won't help you remember, maybe this will." He bent his head and took her lips in a hard, savage kiss. Hannah tried to twist away from him, but he held her easily. When he finally released her, she slapped his face. Anger flared in his eyes, and then he laughed. "At least I got something for my trouble."

Hannah started to shake. "Get out and don't ever come back."

Mitch.e.l.l smiled nastily. "I won't have to. You'll come to me. As for Jackson, do you really think he'll ever forget? That he'll believe anything you say? What you did to him will always be there in the back of his mind. He'll never fully trust you again. And every time he touches you, he'll remember. A man doesn't get over something like that."

She wanted to shout at him to stop. He was putting her worst fears into words. What if Mitch.e.l.l was right? What if Jackson couldn't put this behind him? Maybe she had gone beyond the point of no return.

It was then that Jackson's words came back to her: I'll love you forever. Who was she going to believe? The deceitful man in front of her or the man who'd done nothing but love her.

Hannah walked over to the door and opened it. "Goodbye, Mitch.e.l.l."

"We both know it's not goodbye. This isn't over."

"For me it is."

Jackson heard his pager go off. His next patient had arrived. How was he going to do this? How could he smile and act normally when his mind was in turmoil? He bowed his head. Oh, G.o.d, I don't know what I'll do if I get home and she's not there.

His pager buzzed again. With a stifled groan, he got to his feet. As he walked down the familiar hallway to get his patient, he fought the urge to go right out the door and get in his truck. In ten minutes he could be home. There might not be anything he could do, but at least he'd know what was happening. He wouldn't be stuck at work wondering if his life was going to be plunged into darkness again.

Hannah's words drifted through his mind. Please trust me. If he didn't let her handle this alone, he was admitting that he didn't trust her. Any chance they had of working things out depended not only on what she was doing at the house, but also on what he was doing here. He couldn't live the rest of his life doubting her motives and questioning her actions. He'd forgiven her; that carried the obligation of believing her.

Hannah closed the door and leaned against it heavily. The meeting with Mitch.e.l.l had been worse than she imagined. Her fingers touched her bruised lips, and a quiver of distaste and shame rushed over her. She ran down the hall into the bathroom and washed every part of her face that Mitch.e.l.l had touched.

Haunted eyes stared back at her from the mirror. She dreaded telling Jackson what happened. Mitch.e.l.l's hateful comments had been bad enough; she wasn't sure she wanted Jackson to know the rest. With a gasp of dismay, she realized her lower lip was bleeding. How could she have let this happen? Grabbing some tissue, she dabbed at her mouth.

The unpleasant details could be divulged later. Right now, she needed to put Jackson out of his misery. Given her past behavior, he was probably imagining the worst. When she went to find her phone, she was surprised that so little time had elapsed since Mitch.e.l.l's arrival. Had it only been thirty minutes? Sitting down on the bed, she touched Jackson's number. This time he answered on the first ring.

"Everything okay?" he asked in an anxious voice.

"He's gone, hopefully forever."

"Good. Now I'm coming home."

"Can you do that?"

He laughed shakily. "I get a lunch hour like everyone else. I'll be there in a few minutes."

Hannah returned to the hall bathroom and surveyed her swollen lip. Ice! She needed ice! In the kitchen, she quickly threw ice cubes into a plastic bag. Hopefully, the swelling would subside a little before Jackson saw her. She walked over to the kitchen window and looked outside. The scene was peaceful, such a contrast to the anger and confusion within her. Hannah didn't hear the front door open or the quick footsteps of the man who entered the house.

When Jackson called her name, she slowly turned around. The tentative smile on his face disappeared when his eyes fell on her mouth. A rage like she'd never seen flickered in his usually placid eyes.

"Did he hit you?" he asked in low tone that sent tingles of apprehension down Hannah's spine. She shook her head. He lifted up her chin and looked more closely at her mouth. "It needs ice."

She held up the bag. "I've been doing that." Hannah could feel the anger flowing through him. It was all the more frightening because she'd never seen him this way. It was a good thing Mitch.e.l.l was gone. Jackson looked mad enough to do him an injury.

"What did happen then?"

"I'll tell you everything if you promise to calm down."

He took a deep breath and managed a credible smile. "I'm sorry; I don't think I've ever been this angry before. I'm not upset with you, Hannah, but I'd love to get my hands on Mitch.e.l.l."

"Let's go sit down."

He nodded, but instead of moving, he lightly touched her mouth with his finger. "He better never touch you again."

"He won't have the chance."

"You're right," Jackson muttered as he followed her into the living room.

When she went to sit down beside him, he pulled her on his lap. At her look of surprise, he said, "It will help me stay calm."

Hannah's eyes left his face and shifted to the floor. "Mitch.e.l.l said that I left New York because I thought he was cheating on me. I know that was part of it, but it wasn't the only reason. I told him I didn't love him anymore and had no intention of going back with him. He didn't believe me; he accused you of lying to me. Then he said something about helping me remember." Jackson arms tightened around her, but she forced herself to finish. "Before I realized what he meant, he had me in his arms and was kissing me. I tried to push him away, but I couldn't. I guess in the struggle, I cut my lip."

He drew her head down against his chest. "I should have been here. I never should have let you face him alone."

"Neither of us had any idea he would behave like that."

"How do you know he hasn't done it before?"

"I wouldn't have stayed with someone I was afraid of." She felt his lips moving through her hair. "Don't you need to get back to work?"

"I still have fifteen minutes."

"Do you want me to fix you something to eat? There's ham and cheese."

"I just want to sit here and hold you. Is that okay?"

She snuggled closer to him. "That's fine with me."

Not ten minutes after Jackson left the house to return to work, Laurel called and asked if she could come over. This evidence of Jackson's thoughtfulness brought tears to her eyes. He hadn't wanted her to be alone.

Laurel strolled into the house carrying a large shopping bag. If she noticed Hannah's swollen lip, she was kind enough not to mention it. "Do you know how to sew?"

Hannah nodded. "I think so. What are we talking about?"

"I need to make a lamb costume for Amanda." She pulled a pattern out of the bag. "I don't even know how to read these things."

"Me, either, but between us, we should be able to figure it out. Let's go over to the dining room table. Do you have the material?"

"I have all kinds of things. I explained what I was trying to do to the saleslady at Michael's, and she helped me find everything."

Hannah showed Laurel how to cut out the pattern, pin it to the material and then cut the actual material. "Do you have a sewing machine?"

"No, but my sister Rose does. I think it's still in a box in her storage room. She won it in a raffle. Anyway, she's going to drop it off this evening after work."

"I was going to say that if you don't have one, you'll have to sew all this by hand which would take a while."