First Marriage Then Love Chapter 80

An Ran sat on her desk in the office, drawing pencil in hand, but unable to calm her emotions. She placed the pencil back on the table in frustration and rip out the design draft on the table, crumpling it and throwing it into the waste bin by the side. Today the bin already contains four to five similar crumpled pieces inside.

Looking at the mobile on the table, she took it up in the end, unable to resist any longer, intending to call Lin Li,"Knock, knock...!" came the office door suddenly.

An Ran looked up in the direction of the door,"Enter."

Ling Ran with a sweet smile stood in front of the door, looking at her,"May I come in?"

An Ran paused, her expression change slightly before nodding.

Ling Ran entered and sat in front of her, saying apologetically,"An Ran, I had too much to drink last time, so I acted poorly, if I have said anything I shouldn't have, please pay it no mind."

An Ran gave a plain smile, nodding,"No you didn't."

Ling Ran lets out a sigh of relief,"That's good, you have no idea how guilty I was feeling these past few days, so afraid that I had said things I shouldn't have and caused misunderstandings between you and Ah Cheng. If I did I may never forgive myself for that."

An Ran pressed her lips together, not intending to continue the topic further,"Did Miss Ling come to the office today to find Ling Lin? Isn't she outside?"

"En, I'm here to ask Ling Lin out for a meal, it's been a while since us sisters have gotten together. So I wanted us to have a get together for bonding." Ling Ran says laughingly. Then as if a thought suddenly came to her , asks,"Do you want to join us An Ran? Ling Lin recommended a restaurant nearby, she mention that the food is delicious."

An Ran shakes her head, replying with the intention of testing her,"No thanks, Yi Cheng is coming to fetch me later." Her eyes searches for any reaction Ling Ran has and did not miss the sudden onset of melancholy that appears in her eyes.

Ling Ran smile dryly,"If it's like this, then we shouldn't disturb you two then."

An Ran nodded, not saying anything else, actually there was nothing planned for later. In the morning when Su Yi Cheng ferries her over, he has already inform An Ran that he will be held up at work tonight and will be home late. So she will have to get home by herself later.

Actually she just wants to see her reaction, to test if she was being genuine or not but evidently, she is trying to get close to her in order to get to Su Yi Cheng.

Ling Ran looks at her watch,"Alright, I won't interrupt your work any longer, I'll wait for Ling Lin outside."

An Ran nodded, not intending to retain her.

Just when An Ran was starting to ponder on the matter of Ling Ran, the mobile on the desk rang. She picked it up, the display shows Lin Li so she answered it immediately,"Hey Lin Li"

"En." The Lin Li on the line sounds as if her voice has lost the vigor and vitality in the past, it sounded plain and weak, giving a feeling of lifelessness.

An Ran gets a little worried, asks carefully,"Are... are you alright?"

"Heh" Lin Li gave a soft laugh,"Join me for lunch in the afternoon, and oh, can you take the afternoon off?"

"Sure, wherever and whatever you want to do, I'm game." An Ran answered without question. It is at this time that friends' support and company matters the most, she wants to let her know that she is not alone in this, because there is someone out there who will always stands by her side, to be her support, to give her strength.

Lin Li was already at the restaurant in the afternoon, sitting at the seat by the window, looking outside. Actually An Ran already saw her when she alighted the cab, but she saw that Lin Li was looking so listless, without vigor and her eyes was not focus on anything at all, even if she seems to be looking outside. As she was noticing all this she unconsciously stops in her tracks and just looked at her for a while.

Upon entering and seated opposite her, she notices her fatigue and it is as if she became even more frail overnight. Her eyes were puffy because she was crying. Looking at her now, An Ran's heart clench tightly with sorrow for an instant, a hundred times more so than when she went through her own terrible ordeal in the past.

After a while just looking at her, she called out,"Lin Li." She took care to be soft, to avoid scaring her.

Lin Li finally came back to her senses, turning looking at An Ran who is trying her best to force out a smile, Lin Li gave a weak smile,"You are here."

An Ran nodded,"Did you wait long?"

Lin Li shakes her head,"No."

An Ran was about to speak when the restaurant's service attendant hands over a menu, inquire smilingly,"Do the two customer wants to start ordering?"

Looking at Lin Li, An Ran nodded taking over the menu from her hands.

Lin Li flips over the menu, unlike her previous self who would order as she goes through the menu. The her today keeps flipping the menu and after a while, sighs in defeat and hands over the menu to An Ran,"Why don't you order instead?"

An Ran did not refuse, turning over the menu and orders lots of Lin Li's favorite dishes, even the service attendant was incredulous, asking,"May I ask, are you expecting more to arrive later?"

An Ran shakes her head,"No, it's just the two of us. Oh and, add another order of Stir-fried Pork Strips in Fish Sauce." Closing the menu, handing it over to the attendant,"Please inform the kitchen to be faster."

The service attendant retreats with a smile and later serves up two gla.s.ses of water.

An Ran looks at Lin Li, she wants to ask but at the same time, it is so hard to find the words.

Lin Li smiles at her, even though the smile was forced and does not look good on her. Taking a sip of water from the gla.s.s,"What do you want to know, just ask."

An Ran look at her, started to ask but her throat feels so dry and unable to say anything.

Taking a big gulp from the gla.s.s, she asks seriously,"What did Cheng Xiang tell you?"

Lin Li nodded, hands placed on the gla.s.s, lightly tracing the contour of the gla.s.s.

An Ran remain silent, not saying a word.

A while later when the service attendant serves up the first dish, the two are still just sitting there, silent.

The second dish, the third, the fourth...

The two of them did not even pick up their chopsticks, just sitting there, looking at each other, silent.

Until when the last dish has been served, the service attendant looked at the two quizzically but still dutifully informs that all their dishes have been served. Only then does An Ran reacts, nodded, indicating acknowledgement.

An Ran has always considered herself to be a poor talker, she does not know how to socialise or offer consolations. Actually between Lin Li and her, Lin Li has always been the one who consoles her, because she has been very lucky and her life has been smooth sailing from when she was young. Even her love story had been a fairytale, her first love was Cheng Xiang who was such a perfect man, being gentle and warm. He doted on her, giving in to her every whims and even learn how to cook because of her. For the past ten years their love has truly been a fairytale come to life, having a fairytale beginning and awaiting a fairytale ending.

But who would have expected, their love is actually the Cinderella story played in reverse. Because Cinderella and Prince Charming got together and live happily ever after after enduring a lot of hardships. And they are just the reverse, they have a beginning that everyone is jealous of but not the fairytale ending that everyone had expected.

Looking at her, An Ran reach over, clasp her hand, lightly caressing the back of her hand, says calmly,"No matter what happens, no matter what you have decided, don't worry, you are not alone, I'll always be by your side, supporting you unconditionally!"

Lin Li looks at her, nose souring, looks up at the ceiling, stubbornly willing her tears to retreat back into her eyes. After a while, looks straight at An Ran,"You will really support whatever decision I made?"

An Ran nodded, she is her best friend, of course she will support her unconditionally, just as she had done for her in the past.

Lin Li look at her, slowly opening her mouth,"An Zi! Join me to choose my wedding dress in the afternoon!"

An Ran paused, dazed, shaking her head,"I...You... What did you just say?" Did she hear wrongly?

"Accompany me to choose a wedding dress in the afternoon." Lin Li calmly repeated.

An Ran look at her, unable to say a word.

Lin Li smile bitterly, looking at her, shaking her head, tightly pressing her lips together,"I.. I can't just let go like that, I've loved him for 10 years now, if you ask me to suddenly let go, I can't, I really can't."

Silent for a while, An Ran asks,"What about that woman?" She still remembers that woman truly did say Cheng Xiang will follow her back to the USA!

Lin Li twisted the sides of her lips,"That woman is Cheng Xiang's childhood sweetheart. Before attending university, they were always together everyday. Cheng Xiang likes her since he was young, he says as long as he remembers, his greatest wish is to marry her when he grows up, but he knows this is only his own desire, because xiao xiao does not like him the same way, only treating him like a brother. xiao xiao has always liked another boy that grew up together with them. When they got admitted into University, the two of them announced their relationship to family and friends. Since their parents were already friends, they receive everyone's blessings, including Cheng Xiang. xiao xiao and that other man eventually left for USA as planned, but Cheng Xiang stayed behind, and entered our university."

An Ran listens silently, without comment.

Lin Li took another drink from the gla.s.s,"Actually I'm always aware there is a shadow lurking in his heart, I'm even fairly certain I'm but a subst.i.tute for that shadow. But I don't care. I really loves him, I really do, I don't mind him insisting I kept my hair long, and I don't mind he wants me to never dye my hair and keep it black. I don't even mind it when he sometimes stared at my hair, caressing it and just smiling. I know he is thinking of another woman with long black hair in his mind. But he has really treated me well these few years, so well that I had almost forgotten, forgotten that I am but a subst.i.tute for someone else."

"Lin Li, how can you be so silly." An Ran's heart aches for her.

Looking up, forcing her tears back, shaking her head,"I don't feel being wronged, he hasn't let me feel like I'm being belittled in any way. in all the years we've been together, I can feel that he does loves me, whenever he hugs me, softly calls out my name, I can feel it. I know he isn't unfeeling towards me. He does love me."

"If he loves you, then why is he getting mix up with that woman." An Ran questioned. No matter what has happened in the past, the present is what's important. If he loves Lin Li, then why did he runs back to xiao xiao when she comes back this time. What's more, Lin Li is even expecting their child and they are getting married in a few days!

"He is just taking care of her, xiao xiao..xiao xiao suffered a lot in USA, the man they grew up with left her for another woman, another Chinese foreign student, and by that time xiao xiao found out she was already pregnant with his child. When you encounter them at the hospital xiao xiao had gotten hospitalized due to her unstable emotions. And her parents had already migrated to Canada a few years ago, she really has no one else but Cheng Xiang here." Cheng Xiang had told her all this.

"Lin Li, you are deceiving yourself!" An Ran look at her, her eyes growing reddish.

Sniffing, Lin Li laughs out loud, shaking her head,"I choose to believe him, and to give him and me another chance." Her tears flow uncontrollably,"An Ran, I have been with him for 10 years, not 1 or 2 years, how many 10 years does a person have? We are already 28 this year, 10 years ago we do not even know the meaning of love, before 18, we lived surrounded by parental love; after 18, in these 10 years, I have always love him with my all. You can say that I have spend too much effort and feelings on this man, if you tell me to suddenly take back everything, I really have no idea how to do it."

An Ran looks at her, crying even harder than her, half pouting, unable to say anything. She has witness the path Cheng Xiang and her took for the last 10 years so she is acutely aware of how much effort and work Lin Li has put into Cheng Xiang.

An Ran does not know what to say,"Lin Li, you are so silly." She aches for Lin Li, her heart rending for how she loves.

Lin Li smiles, face still streak with tears, "Then let me, let me be silly one more time, but don't you worry, this time I will not be hurt again. This is as bad as it can get, we'll still be getting married because we still have our child. Cheng Xiang is a responsible man."

An Ran looks at her, pulls over the serviette on the table,"Is it worth it?"

Lin Li nods, then nods again,"Yes!"

An Ran kept quiet, nodding, fearful to cause her more pain, deciding to end the topic. She wipe her tears then took the chopsticks in front of her, forcing a smile,"Let's eat, after eating let's go to try on the wedding dresses."

Lin Li nodded, looking at her, laughing.

An Ran smile too but as she smile, the tears in her eyes started flowing again, she can only hope what Cheng Xiang told her was the truth and Lin Li will not have to suffer any more pain.

The meal with 10+ dishes were mostly untouched. Lin Li does not seem to have much appet.i.te, only taking in a few vegetables, completely unlike her past self that seems to have a bottomless appet.i.te.

An Ran worries about her but decides not to force the issue. She asks for a gla.s.s of milk, Lin Li seems to have no appet.i.te, kept shaking her head, indicating she is unable to take more.

An Ran did not relent this time,"Even if you don't eat think about the baby in your tummy, are you sure you want to starve the baby?"

Lin Li looks for a while then finally finishes the milk, as if taking bitter medicine.

Exiting the restaurant, the two goes straight to the bridal shop Lin Li has prior booked.

The make up artist looked at the two of them, reproaching, kept asking what had happen to their eyes.

An Ran gave the excuse that they had drank too much water the night before so it was puffy in the morning, they thought the puffiness will subside but it had persisted and does not seem to be subsiding.

The make up artist looks at them dubiously and at last stop questioning them, letting Lin Li sit in front of the mirror, inspecting her face then started applying makeup, commenting,"Next time before the wedding you must remember not to drink a sip of water, and you must not cry as well, because after crying the eyes will be puffy like now, do you want to scare people away!? It's a good thing this is just to try on, next time it's the actual wedding, it's the most important moment of a lifetime, you want to look pretty for that right?"

An Ran smile and nodded, promising to pay more attention.

After the makeup, the bridal a.s.sistant has already finish preparing the gown that Lin Li has prior selected and has placed it in the changing room.

Lin Li is a little nervous and kept looking at An Ran before going to the changing room, An Ran gave a small smile and nodded to her. Since she has chosen to be foolish one more time, then be foolish to the limit! Since it has been decided to pretend not to expose the man's lies, then let the man deceive her one last time, for the rest of her lifetime!

Lin Li emerge from behind the big curtain, the bridal shop a.s.sistant adjusts the tail of the gown, together with the makeup, Lin Li looks like n.o.bility, she looks like a princess! This gown has been specially ordered, one strapless top, showing off Lin Li's beautiful collarbone, the gorgeous lace tr.i.m.m.i.n.gs follows the strap from shoulder to shoulder, the waist portion is design to be looser on the tummy but just enough so that it also accentuates the bride's curves. The upper part is decorated with lacy flower designs. The design is not very unique but cla.s.sic.

Lin Li looks at An Ran shyly, as if asking, Is it pretty?

An Ran nodded, smiling and holds up her thumb, then from the accessories drawer behind her, picks out some jewelry and a tiara. Placing the tiara and necklace on her, she goes to the back of her, looking at the mirror in front she whispers,"It's gorgeous, our Lin Li must be the prettiest bride in the whole world."

Lin Li look at her reflection in the mirror, her smile full of happiness.

The two stayed at the bridal studio the entire afternoon, Lin Li tried on 2 additional gowns and a cheongsam, the cheongsam seems a tad too loose so they let the shop amended it to be in time for the wedding. An Ran also tried on the bridesmaid's dress, its too loose as well, so it will be adjusted together with the cheongsam.

By the time they exited the bridal shop, it's almost 4pm. Since they did not eat much for lunch, An Ran suggested a nearby cafe for tea.

Lin Li really do not have any appet.i.te and was just about to refuse when An Ran eyed her intently. At last, with her hand lightly caressing that still flat tummy, Lin Li joins her at the cafe.

Sitting again by the window, they seem to favor the window seat.

An Ran ordered warm milk for Lin Li and milk tea for herself. She ordered cake for dessert.

Lin Li still have no appet.i.te but due to An Ran's insistence, ate a big portion of the cake. Just as she placed the fork down, she rushed to the washroom, hands covering her mouth.

An Ran sighs, helpless what to do, whenever Lin Li is unahppy, she will unconsciously rejects food. Even if she eats a lots, she will throw everything up. There really is nothing to be done.

Just thinking of this, there was a tap on the corner of the table, looking up only to see Tong Xiao Jie smiling at her,"Such a coincidence Mrs Su." then sits opposite her.

An Ran took a look, then pressed her lips,"Ms Tong."

Tong Xiao Jie frowns a little, then says smilingly,"I'm more used to people calling me Mrs Mo."

An Ran smiles with pressed lips,"Then Mrs Mo, I only want to tell you that the seat you're sitting on is already taken."

Tong Xiao Jie nods towards An Ran,"Oo, is that so?" then got up, smiling,"I just came over to greet Mrs Su, now that that is done, I will be on my way then. Mrs Su please take your time."

An Ran nods, expressionless.

Tong Xiao Jie smiles, turns then proceed to the private room towards the back.

Lin Li just pa.s.s her by, turning and took a second look,"Is that Tong Xiao Jie? What's she doing here?"

An Ran nodded,"I have no idea, she says it's to greet me."

"Crazy *****" Lin Li cursed softly.

An Ran laughs,"Let's go, let me give you a lift back."

Lin Li shakes her head,"No need to, Cheng Xiang just called, he will come fetch me, he should be on his way now."

An Ran did not say anything, just nodding.

The two spend some more time in the cafe, Cheng Xiang arrives a few minutes later, parking his car outside as usual, alighting, waving towards Lin Li. Such a familiar scene but this time, Lin Li did not respond to him as much as last time, only plainly give a small smile, nodding towards him, taking her bag and proceed outside.

An Ran did not exit together with Lin Li, only looks on as they boarded the car and drive off. She is not sure if Lin Li's decision is the correct one. She only wish she will not regret it and not suffer anymore pain.

--------------------End of Chapter-----------------------