First Impressions: The Fix Up Part 20

"I've been trying to reach you for an hour. Where the h.e.l.l have you been?"

"I, uh-was in the middle of a performance evaluation."

"You've gotta shove that off on human resources," Lyle grumbled. "You've got more important things to do."

Ben looked down at Holly sleeping beside him and couldn't think of anything in the world more important. As though feeling his gaze on her, she stirred and opened her eyes. Her lashes fluttered and she smiled at him, and Ben felt his heart lurch in his chest.

"Right," Ben said, already forgetting whatever the h.e.l.l they were discussing.

"I got a call from Kleinberger."

That got Ben's attention. "What did they say?"

"They want to sign the deal. They're willing to move fast, too."

"Wow." Ben raked his fingers through his hair, surprised at the surge of pride rushing through him. He'd had a hand in landing that deal. Not just from the engineering side, either, but as a real, honest-to-G.o.d, hobn.o.bbing CEO. He sat up a little straighter on the edge of the bed and smiled at Holly. She smiled back, making his heart stumble against his ribs.

"That's great, Dad. Congratulations."

Ben paused to see if his father might congratulate him, but Lyle just grunted. "Yeah, it's terrific. Look, we need to wine and dine these guys. Really seal the deal, if you know what I mean. Remember that party we threw last year when Jolen Brothers signed on?"

Ben remembered. He'd been dragged out of the engineering dungeon and ordered to make charming conversation with Jolen executives. He'd ended up spending the whole night by the canapes chatting with the server about her husband's desire to return to college for an advanced degree in economics.

"Yes, I remember," he said. "Are you wanting to do something similar?"

"No, bigger. I told Molly to get in touch with that event planner we used for that bulls.h.i.t charity thing last fall. We're going to pull out all the stops for this one. They're even flying the company founder out here to nail down the final details in person."

Holly yawned and stretched, then leaned up to plant a soft kiss on his forehead. He drew back, weirdly uncomfortable having a beautiful, naked woman touch him while his dad yammered on about due diligence and monetized a.s.sets. He squeezed her hand, then rolled off the bed and reached for his underwear, pulling them on while she watched.

He shuffled across the room, gripping the phone with one hand while he located his gla.s.ses with the other. "That sounds like a good plan," he said. "Do you want me to prepare a speech?"

Ben couldn't believe he'd just offered that, nor could he believe Lyle's response. "Yeah, I think that would be good. The Kleinberger guys like you. Throw something together that'll dazzle them."

"Dazzle. I can do that." He ambled back to the bedside and grabbed his pants. He stepped into them while Holly sat up and pulled the sheet over her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Her hair was tousled and her cheeks were flushed from sleep or beard burn or some combination of both, and he wanted her all over again. He started to reach for her, but his father's voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Make sure you bring a date. That hot little number you had the other night should do the trick."

"Hot little number," Ben repeated, looking at Holly. "I should be able to pull that off."

"Good. Look, I've gotta run. The party's next Sat.u.r.day. Try to have all our ducks in a row by then. And Ben?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't screw this up."

Lyle disconnected the call, and Ben stood holding the phone for a minute. It was hardly the afterglow he'd been savoring in his dreams just a few minutes ago. He shoved the phone in his pocket and sat down on the bed beside Holly.

"Let me guess," she said, resting a hand on his thigh. "Your dad?"

"Yep. Sounds like we got the Kleinberger deal."

"Really? Ben, that's amazing!" She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him, her softness enveloping him all over again. "Congratulations," she murmured against his neck. "I'm so proud of you."

The words. .h.i.t him right in the spleen and his chest flooded with an odd mix of pride and sadness. Would it have killed his father to say the same five words?

But Holly had said them, and that counted for a lot. "Are you free next Sat.u.r.day?" he asked.

"I can check. Why?"

"We're throwing a big party for the Kleinberger execs. My dad wants you to come with me."

Holly drew back and gave him a salacious grin. "I just did."

Ben laughed, and for a moment, he forgot all the awkward, lingering feelings about his dad. He kissed her on the mouth, then reached for the edge of the sheet. "He called you a hot little number," he said as he tugged down the sheet and claimed her breast with his mouth. Holly twined her fingers in his hair and arched against him. He cupped her other breast in his palm, taking his time to work his way between one and the other.

"Hot little number?" She giggled, which came out sounding partly like a moan. "What is this, 1958?"

"In my dad's mind, yes. He also might be under the impression that you're my girlfriend instead of my branding consultant."

"Oh really?" Her tone was teasing, but Ben felt her pull back just a little.

"Yep." He sat up and planted a kiss at the edge of her jaw, then another right below her earlobe. "The thing is, I don't think that's such a bad idea."

"The party? Well, I can check my schedule, but-"

"No, the girlfriend thing." He drew back and looked at her, hoping to see her eyes light up. There was no reaction, but maybe he just hadn't been clear enough.

Be bold. Say what you really want.

"How about it, Holly?" he asked, leaning down to kiss her shoulder. "What do you say we take a shot at a real relationship?"

He let those words hang between them for a moment as he kissed his way from her shoulder along her collarbone, then drew back to study her face.

She wasn't smiling.

Okay, so "girlfriend" was a big word to start throwing around. He maybe could have eased in more gently or started by asking her out on a date.

But wasn't it Holly who'd encouraged him to be a.s.sertive? To listen to his inner voice and speak his mind? His inner voice was yelling at him to go for it, to stand up and tell her how he felt.

Apparently, Holly's inner voice was telling her something very different. Like "run."

"Ben, I don't think that's such a good idea," she said slowly. "If you need me there as your PR coach, I'm up to the task."

"That's actually not what I need from you," he said, trying not to feel stung by the rejection. "I need you by my side for this event. I want you to be my rock, my support system, my partner, my-"

"Arm candy?"

"Sure," he said, surprised to see her flinch at the word. "We've joked about that before. You're a beautiful woman, and it doesn't hurt-either my ego or my image-to have you by my side. Is that so wrong?"

She shook her head and stood up fast, grabbing her bra from the floor at the foot of the bed. She tried to yank it on, but ended up whacking herself in the nose with the strap. Still she didn't meet his eyes.

"I've played your doting wife already, Ben. When the need suited your career, I did that and you paid me for it. It was a job."

"A job," he repeated, trying to understand what she was telling him.

"Yes, a job. And now that you've landed the Kleinberger deal, my work here is done."

Ben blinked, trying to keep up with the conversation as she jerked her top on, fumbling with the b.u.t.tons. She still wouldn't look at him, but he could have sworn he caught a shimmer of tears in the corner of her eye.

"I'm not talking about work," he said. "I'm talking about the two of us hanging out together because we enjoy each other's company outside business."

"There's no us outside business, Ben-don't you see?"

"I don't. We've laughed together and played together and made crazy pa.s.sionate love together, and as far as I can tell, you enjoyed all of those things."

"I did. I do. But I just don't-I mean I can't-G.o.d, where are my shoes?"

"Holly, sit down for a minute."

He wasn't sure if she'd obey, but he wasn't surprised when she did. She dropped onto the edge of the bed, a good two feet of s.p.a.ce between them. Ben suspected she'd prefer to keep it that way.

She was quiet a moment, and he watched her take a few deep breaths. When she turned to face him, her odd lavender-hued eyes were glittery. "Look, Ben-I took this job because I needed the money."

"Okay," he said slowly. "I'll have the second half of it to you by end-of-business tomorrow."

"Thank you." She pressed her lips together and looked down at her hands.

He watched her, trying to figure out what had her so undone. He got the sense there was more to her money woes than the need to pay off an Office Max credit card. Softening his tone, he probed again. "Do you mind telling me why you needed the money so urgently?"

She sighed and folded her hands together in her lap, her gaze still fixed on them instead of on his face. "When I bought the building that's home to First Impressions, I made a stupid mistake."

"You mean like a balloon mortgage or something?"

"Worse. I co-signed with my husband. Ex-husband, I mean, but we were married at the time. It was idiotic and stupid and-"

"Hey," he said, reaching out to touch her hand. "It's not that dumb. A lot of married people sign loans together. It's part of the partnership."

"Partnership," she scoffed, shaking her head a little. "There was no partnership to the arrangement. He resented my career from the very beginning, and I should have known better. I made a mistake." She sighed. "Anyway, that's why I needed to take this job with you. To get out from under that loan and refinance in my name alone."

Ben let the words wash over him, trying to make sense of what she was telling him. He dropped his hand back onto the bed, not sure he felt right touching her. So it was all about the money all along. He'd known that, on some level-he'd signed the d.a.m.n check himself. But still, he'd hoped it was evolving into more. Had he been naive?

"So this whole time, I was just a paycheck?" he said slowly. "A chance to save your real estate investment?"

She looked up at him, alarm flashing in her eyes. He waited for her to argue, to tell him he was wrong and that it had become so much more than that to her.

But instead, she shook her head. "I would hope you think I earned that money," she said. "Every penny of it. I worked hard for you."

"I'm not questioning that. But this whole job was just another business transaction for you."

Again, he waited for her to argue. He stayed silent, wanting to hear her say those words. She didn't speak for a long time, so Ben reached out again and touched her hand once more. "I wanted a shot at a real relationship with you. Something real. Something meaningful."

Was it his imagination, or did she flinch?

She looked at him long and hard. Then she looked away. "Yes." He watched her throat move as she swallowed. "To answer your question, it was always just a business arrangement."

The words. .h.i.t him like a punch to the gut. "Nothing more?"

"Nothing more." She looked down at the comforter, plucking at a loose thread. "I'm sorry, Ben. Our careers and our personal lives have gotten too tangled up together and I think it's time we said good-bye."

He stared at her. Would an alpha male CEO catch her by the hand and ask her to stay? Would he demand she sit here and listen to all the reasons they should give this thing a shot? He started to open his mouth, then stopped.

She looked at him then, and the sadness in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. Her mind was made up. If she was really ready to walk away from this, maybe she wasn't the woman he thought she was.

You're just like your father after all. Relationships can never turn out to be more than career-building tools.

As if to emphasize the point, Holly stood up and smoothed her hands down her skirt. She took a step away from the bed, and the look on her face nearly broke his heart.

"Good-bye, Ben," she said, and took another step back. Then another, her gaze still on his face like she was trying to memorize him. Then she turned away and moved toward the door.

As the door clicked shut behind her, Ben took a deep breath.

Then he swallowed his alpha male ego, and let her go.

Chapter Thirteen.

Ben glared at himself in the dressing room mirror. The tuxedo he wore made him look like an angry monkey, which only served to p.i.s.s him off more.

"You look fabulous!"

Ben turned to see Marcus the salesman smiling at him through the open doorway. Ben pivoted and checked out his side view in the mirror, but that wasn't much better. From this angle, he looked more like a disgruntled penguin.

Marcus didn't seem to notice, or if he did, he was too discreet to say anything. "The fit is almost perfect," he said, hustling forward to straighten Ben's lapels. "A little tailoring through the shoulders and we'll have you fixed up in a jiff. When did you say this charity gala is happening?"

"Sat.u.r.day."

"Perfect. We'll have you all squared away. Do you need any more ties?"

"Ties," Ben repeated. "Let me think on that." Christ, he'd bought more ties in the last month than he'd purchased in his entire life up to that point, which wasn't saying much. Still, he had no idea when he'd ever get around to wearing them all. Dinner dates with Holly?

That wasn't going to happen.

He'd tried to get up the nerve to call, but each time he heard her words echoing in his ears.