Find You In The Dark Part 3

I couldn't help but stare as Clay pulled his shirt over his head, his stomach muscles taut. My mouth went dry and i had a hard time swallowing. "Maggie!" My mom said tersely on the other end and I realized I hadn't answered her. "Sorry, Mom. I met up with a friend. I have to get my car from the school and then I'll be home." I told her. I prayed my mom would be cool and save the thousand questions for when I got home.

No such luck. "Friend? What friend?" She asked. I walked a bit away and dropped my voice. "Clay Reed. I was just showing him around town." I said quietly into the phone. I heard my mom tapping her fingers on something on the other end. Great, she was p.i.s.sed. "I don't like the idea of you out with some boy we don't know. I'd like to meet him. Particularly if you're going to be going out with him."

I tried to not groan into the phone. "We're just friends, Mom. Not a big deal." I tried placating. Well, my mom wasn't having it. "Well, regardless. You know how we feel about you getting into cars with boys we don't know. I want to meet him." She was going to be unyielding about this. Just fan-f.u.c.king-tastic.

"Fine." I said curtly. I heard my mom sigh. She knew she had made me mad. "We just worry. It's a scary, scary world out there for a girl." I didn't say anything. "Just get home. But be safe. We'll talk when you get here." My mom said and then hung up.

I turned around and saw Clay standing there, looking at me. "Your mom?" He asked. I nodded and realized I was still in my bra and panties. If my mom could see me now, she'd have a heart attack. I tried to discreetly slide into my skirt and I noticed Clay respectfully look away.

After I was dressed he and I walked back to his car. I rang my hair out but shivered as water made it's way down my back. Clay reached over and pulled my heavy, wet hair over my shoulder, his fingers skimming the back of my neck.

"Was she mad you weren't home yet?" He asked after we had gotten in and were backing out of the field. "She's just majorly over protective." I said, watching him change the gears on the gear shift. There was something seriously s.e.xy about his hands.

"Understandable. I'd be over protective too if you were my daughter." He smirked at me and I smirked back. Okay, how to broach the subject that they wanted to meet him, without sounding incredibly lame?

"Well, um, Clay. They sort of want to meet you." Clay c.o.c.ked his eyebrow and gave me a quick look. "Okay." He said slowly. I hurried on. "It's just they're weird about me being in cars with guys. And I told her we're just friends, but she still wants to meet you and I promise you it'll be cool. It's just that they want to make sure you're not a serial killer or anything." I was rambling to try and cover my complete mortification.

Clay reached over and squeezed the hand that sat clenched in my lap. "Mags. It's okay. I understand. I want them to be cool with us hanging out. I'll meet them." He a.s.sured me. I let out a breath and sighed with relief. He made me feel like less of a tool, and I appreciated that.

"Thanks." I said quietly. Clay smiled. "No, thank you, Maggie. For today. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun." I felt warm at his compliment. He took a deep breath. "The last few months have been really tough and sometimes I forget that it's okay to let loose and just live life, you know. I have a feeling, you'll be really good for me." The look he gave me made me tingle to my toes.

"I hope so." I said. Clay gave me a coy smile. "Oh, I know so." He replied.

Chapter Five.

If I could have cut off my legs, I would have. Every muscle from the waist down ached and I couldn't suppress the groan as I sat down at my usual lunch table. Rachel looked up from her phone and tried to hide the smile on her face.

"What?" I growled, slowly swinging my legs around as I situated myself oh, so carefully. Rachel spooned some pudding into her mouth and shook her head. "Nothing." She mumbled around her food. I glared at her. Daniel wasn't so discrete. "Why are you moving like an old lady, Mags? You look ridiculous." I picked up a potato chip and chucked it at him.

"Coach Kline made me run this morning because I didn't show up for practice a couple of days this week. He was kind of p.i.s.sed." I leaned down and rubbed my calf muscles, trying to alleviate the burning sensation.

I understood why Coach was mad. I was his star runner and I had disappointed him. We had our first meet coming up on Friday and I had blown off practice three times this week. I felt guilty for shirking on my responsibility. But, I couldn't regret using the time to get to know Clay instead.

We had gone "exploring" a few more times. We had gone hiking at Crooked Run National Park, played mini golf in Warminster and seen a movie at the IMAX theater in Charlottesville. I loved spending time with Clay. For the first time, my life felt interesting, exhilarating even.

I found myself doing things and trying things that I never would have done before. Like eating Thai food and watching a foreign movie with subt.i.tles. Okay, that may not seem like a lot...but I would never have thought to do any of that stuff until Clay came along.

"You blew off practice? Seriously?" Daniel asked incredulously. Rachel looked out the window behind her. "Is it snowing?" She asked in mock surprise. "Hardee, har, har, you two." I got what they were saying. Me doing something outside of my norm was unheard of. I went along, doing my thing, not deviating. Which is why until three weeks ago, I was hopelessly and utterly bored.

Now...well, I looked forward to getting out of bed.

"Where the heck have you been slinking off to then?" Daniel seemed really confused by this. I understood his surprise. Typically if I wasn't at a) school, or b) home, I was with he and Rachel. Me developing a life outside of them was just weird. Like the earth had been thrown off of it's axis.

"Well, I..." I started, but was cut off by a voice behind me. "Mind if I sit with you guys?" I turned around- (very carefully of course, sore muscles here-) and saw Clay standing there with his lunch tray. He gave me a small smile, his eyes flicking to Rachel and Daniel.

This was the first time I had seen him in the cafeteria since the Paul Delawder incident. I quickly looked at my friends. Rachel had her mouth hanging open and Daniel was frowning. Neither of them spoke. Geesh. Rude much?

I pulled out the chair beside me. "Have a seat." Clay sat down and put his tray on the table. He looked at me. Just like every time our eyes met, I felt my face flush. I swallowed and then turned to Rachel and Daniel. "Rachel, Daniel, this is Clay. Clay these are my friends Rachel Bradfield and Daniel Lowe." Clay gave them a shy smile. "Hey."

Neither of my friends said anything. They seemed to be a bit taken aback by Clay's appearance at our table. How humiliating! "Say hi, you two. Or he'll think you never learned to talk." I rolled my eyes and Clay smiled tightly. I could tell he was uncomfortable.

Rachel blinked rapidly, the way she did when she was caught doing something embarra.s.sing. "Sorry, Clay. Nice to meet you." She gave him an overly bright smile. I frowned at her and silently communicated to her to stop trying so hard. Daniel looked at Clay almost as though he were examining him. "Hey." He replied back.

Okay, well it looked as though Daniel would be a hard sell. He was so territorial sometimes. Clay cleared his throat and started eating his lunch. The vibe around our table became really tense. "So, how's your day so far?" I asked Clay, trying to cut through the thickening silence. Clay shrugged, not looking at me. "Just another day." He said before returning to his lunch.

Wow, this was getting bad and fast. If he didn't want to talk, why the h.e.l.l did he sit down? Of course it didn't help that Daniel was watching him while he ate. I shot daggers at my best friends, urging them with my eyes, to snap out of it.

Rachel sat up straighter and opened her eyes dramatically at me. "Sorry" she mouthed. I pointedly looked at Clay, who was shoveling salisbury steak into his mouth. "So, Clay. Did you finish that a.s.signment for Creative Writing? I'm having a h.e.l.l of time writing my short story. I think I got a whole paragraph before I gave up." Rachel said, laughing in that really fake way of hers. At least she was trying.

Clay shrugged again. Was that his only reply? He was being really rude. Not at all like the Clay I had come to know over the last week. I felt a knot in my stomach by his att.i.tude. He was so rigid in his seat as though he wanted to be anywhere but at our table. I just didn't get what he was trying to do? I mean, he was the one who had approached us. But now, he looked as though he couldn't be finished with his food fast enough.

Was it me? Had I done something wrong? Should I have been more vocal to my friends when they were being so weird towards him? Why was I obsessing over what I did? But did I do something?

Then after a few minutes of complete silence, Clay stood up. I looked up at him in surprise. What the heck was going on?

He finally looked down at me and I saw his face soften a bit. "Thanks for letting me sit with you. I'll see you later." He gave me a half smile and then turned around and left.

"What the f.u.c.k was that?" Daniel asked after Clay had left. I was still watching him make his way through the cafeteria, his shoulders slumped over and his head down. I had no idea how to answer Daniel's question. Because I don't know what that was.

"Maybe he's just shy." Rachel volunteered. Daniel snorted. "Or a whack job. He has that whole school shooter thing going on, you know?" Okay, that made me lose it. "You don't even know him, Daniel! So stop being so G.o.d d.a.m.n judgmental! Maybe he was acting strange because you were being an a.s.s! Did you ever think about that?" My voice was loud and I had to struggle to calm myself down.

Daniel looked at me like I had grown a second head. I never yelled at him. Ever. "What is your problem, Mags?" He asked me. "Ugg!" I gathered up my trash. "My problem is that Clay is my friend. And you are my friend. So you need to start learning to get along with him. And maybe next time engage in a little conversation. Show people you have more than the social skills of a f.u.c.king first grader!"

"Maggie! Chill out!" Rachel urged, trying to smooth over the situation that had started to escalate. I just shook my head and got up to leave. Forgetting that I was really sore, I groaned as I moved too quickly.

Rachel was on her feet and moved to stop me from leaving. "We're sorry okay? We didn't mean to make him feel uncomfortable. The whole thing just threw us all right?" She was using the placating tone she usually reserved for Daniel.

What was my problem? Why was I so upset with them? It wasn't like me to fly off the handle like that. I needed to get myself in check.

Sighing, I gave Rachel a quick hug. "I know. Thanks. But I better go catch up with Clay, make sure he's cool." I gave my friends a smile and took off out of the cafeteria.

Looking down the hallway, I saw Clay at the other end. "Clay!" I called out, moving quickly toward him. He didn't turn around. Did he not hear me, or was he ignoring me?

I caught up with him and grabbed his arm to stop him from walking. I felt his muscles tense under my arm. I moved so that I was standing in front of him. His jaw was clenched and he wouldn't look at me. "Why did you leave so quickly?" I asked him. He shrugged (I was starting to really hate it when he did that-). "Didn't really want to hang out with people who didn't want to hang out with me." He said coldly as he stepped around me to move down the hallway.

"Hold on a sec, Clay. You're being ridiculous." I let out an incredulous laugh. Okay, so maybe my friends were less than welcoming at first. But I thought his reaction to the whole thing was a bit over the top.

The look Clay leveled at me froze my blood. Clearly, he didn't think he was being ridiculous. Without saying another word, he left me standing alone in the hallway. This time, I didn't go after him. There was only so much rejection a gal can take.

I stomped back to my locker, throwing the door open so that it bounced off the metal behind it. "Seeing as you're in a seriously s.h.i.tty mood, I'm a.s.suming lover boy was still an a.s.s when you chased him down like a love sick puppy?" Daniel snarked, leaning on the locker beside me.

I yanked my books for the afternoon from the top shelf and glared at my friend. "What is your problem with him anyway, Daniel? It's not like you to be such a d.i.c.k to someone you don't even know." I couldn't help the hurt that bled through my voice. I tried to stay indignant and self-righteous but I could hear the vulnerability in my words.

Daniel softened immediately and put a hand on my shoulder, squeezing slightly. "Sorry, Mags. I know you want to be friends with this dude. But there's just something about him that rubs me the wrong way. But I'll put on the happy face, just for you." I smiled at him and leaned in to give him a hug. Daniel patted my back awkwardly, unaccustomed to such a show of affection from me.

He pulled back and looked at me, a strange look on his face. "What?" I asked him, frowning. Daniel only shook his head. "You really like this guy? I mean really?" He seemed to be in a state of disbelief. Why was that such a strange concept for Daniel to get?

"Yeah, Danny. I really, really like him." I couldn't help my dreamy tone and I tried to ignore the eye roll Daniel gave me. "Why? He has the personality of a rock. I don't get it." Daniel seemed genuinely perplexed. And I guess I didn't blame him. It wasn't as though he had seen the Clay that I did. The Clay that made me forget everyone and everything else.

"No he doesn't. He's a lot of fun. I can talk to him about stuff that I can't talk about with anyone else. He has this crazy spontaneous side that makes everything we do so fun. He's cute and smart and..." Daniel held up his hand.

"Okay, enough already. I think I vomited in my mouth a little. Whatever. Just be careful. I worry is all." It was my turn to roll my eyes. How many times had I told him the exact same thing when it came to Kylie or some other girl he was drooling over. I thought of anyone, he would understand how I was feeling.

Maybe not.

"And I'll be nice. For your sake. But that doesn't mean I trust him...or like him." Daniel gave me a hard look and I tried not to yell at him again. I wanted to shake my best friend.

Not wanting to start another argument, I opted to stay silent. With a smile thrown in his direction, I left Danny and headed to cla.s.s.

I hated to admit that I looked for Clay all day but he successfully avoided me. Had I unwittingly ruined our friendship? Was I trying too hard to hold onto something that had barely begun? I was the worst kind of pathetic. I should be focused on kicking a.s.s in my last year of school. Thinking of where I'll go to college. Working my b.u.t.t off to get the cross country team to state. I had a million and one other things going on in my life but the only thing I could think about was him.

Clay f.u.c.king Reed.

He had royally screwed up my head in the month I'd known him. And I couldn't even claim to know him that well. I had really thought we had the beginnings of something. But, I'd be d.a.m.ned if I would invest energy into something that wasn't reciprocated.

I had worked myself up into a ball of determination. I would not allow myself to obsess over some boy. I was better than that. I had more going for me than being some stupid girl who fixated on whether a guy would give her the time a day. That was not the person I was.

My internal monologue had me fired up. I could practically hear my own personal soundtrack. I hummed a tune with an angry beat the whole way to my locker. I was feeling strong and untouchable.

And then a piece of paper fluttered to my feet. It had been shoved between the slats of my locker and had fallen out when I opened it. Probably some stupid flyer for the pep rally. I started to ball it up and throw it away when my name caught my eye.

Maggie.

The handwriting wasn't familiar to me but somehow I knew it was from him. So, just like that, all my new found strength went straight to h.e.l.l.

I opened up the folded paper and smoothed it out. It was an amazingly intricate charcoal drawing of a gothic looking b.u.t.terfly. The detail was unbelievable. It looked like one of those cool tribal art tattoos. It was edgy yet delicate at the same time. I couldn't quite believe that Clay could be capable of such beautiful artwork. His aloof coldness belied the sensitive soul who was able to communicate so much through a drawing. Then I noticed some writing at the bottom. In thin, sloping script it read "Goodness is your virtue. Quiet beauty your weapon." I almost stopped breathing. The words sounded like some sort of love poem. What did he mean by them? And why could he act like he wanted nothing to do with me one minute and then practically lay his heart out on the table, the next? It made no sense.

I looked up and found Clay standing a little ways down the hallway, watching me. Our eyes met and an undeniable electricity pa.s.sed between us. Did he feel like I did? What did this drawing mean? Was he trying to tell me something? I gathered up my book bag and shoes for cross country and walked toward him.

He watched me the entire time with a hesitant look on his face. I stopped in front of him and held up the drawing. "You did this?" I asked him, although I already knew the answer. Clay nodded. "I didn't know you were an artist. This is...just...wow." I said inarticulately. G.o.d, why did I have to be such a moron?

Clay's lips twitched in the beginnings of a smile. "Thanks." He said simply, still watching me in that intense way of his. "And the words at the bottom? Did you write them?" I asked, trying to pull something out of him that would get him to open up. To tell me what he was thinking.

Clay pushed himself off the locker and started walking with me down the hallway. "No. It's a j.a.panese poet I really love. That particular poem made me think of you. You should read it." j.a.panese poetry huh? Deep stuff.

He was reciting pretty j.a.panese poetry to me. A guy didn't do that sort of thing unless he liked the girl, right? I mean, that's the only thing that makes sense. But then what was with the arctic freeze out earlier?

Ugg! There was that obsessive self- doubt again. It had to stop!

"Well, thanks." I forced myself to say cooly. There was no way I would let Clay know what he did to me. It was becoming a bit embarra.s.sing. Clay took a hold of my hand and pulled me to a stop. I should probably have moved out of his grasp. That would have been the smart thing to do. Not throwing myself head first into this crazy whirlwind that seemed to suck me in and refused to let go. But I liked how his hand felt around mine way too much to do that. So I looked at my shoes, finding them suddenly very interesting.

"Mags. Look at me." Clay said softly. The way he said my name made me feel fluttery inside. Like that beautiful b.u.t.terfly he had drawn me. d.a.m.n him. I looked up at Clay. His dark brown eyes were full of contrition and I found it impossible to stay distant and closed off.

"I'm really sorry for how I acted earlier. I was an a.s.s. Do you forgive me?" Do I forgive him? Um, yeah of course I did. But I had to play it cool.

"What was your deal? I mean, why did you storm out of the cafeteria like that?" Clay sighed and dropped my hand. I felt the loss of his warmth immediately. "I was feeling uncomfortable and insecure. I know your friends didn't want me there. And it came out as anger instead. I have a bad habit of taking it out on who ever's closest to me. I'm not always the nicest guy, Maggie. I have a lot of crazy baggage that you don't need or deserve."

There it was again, a somewhat personal admission. One that gave me only the teensiest idea of what was going on behind his hard exterior. But not enough for me to understand him. I did know that his words were meant to give me pause. For me to think about what it meant to be close to him. I looked down at the beautiful picture he had given me and I didn't want to think about his baggage or his insane mood swings. I just wanted to be around him.

"Just promise to talk to me when you're feeling that way. I can help you with that baggage, you know." What was I saying? I had never dealt with anyone's baggage! I didn't even know what it was! My life and my friends' lives were predictable and boring. I couldn't imagine what it was he was alluding to. But I needed him to know I was there for him. No matter what.

Clay looked at me again and I felt my stomach turn to jelly. "You're pretty amazing. You know that?" He asked me with a smile in his eyes. I puffed up at his compliment. "Thanks. I think so too." I joked. Clay finally laughed, the seriousness of our conversation lightening a bit.

"Where you off to? Do you wanna go grab something to eat?" Clay asked, looking down at the running shoes in my hands.

c.r.a.p. I had cross country. I couldn't miss another practice or I would be suspended from the meet for sure. Coach Kline would kill me!

So what did I say?

"That sounds great."

Chapter Six.

"What do you think about going to Melissa James's party tonight? It would be a great way for you to meet people and to have a good time." I told Clay, while he loaded one of the gla.s.s cases in his aunt's shop with merchandise. Clay frowned as he placed chunks of amethyst and quartz on the shelves. "A party? I'm not sure about that." He answered hesitantly.

Clay and I spent most evenings together. I would come and see him at work after cross country practice. I was making an effort to get my act together. Because after missing practice last week, Coach Kline had followed through on his threat and suspended me from the meet over the weekend. And that did not feel good. I hated disappointing him. Even worse, I knew I was letting myself down too.

Coach had pulled me into his office after lunch on Monday. I knew what was coming. I had been dreading this conversation for weeks. Coach Kline was like a big teddy bear. He was popular with the kids because he was approachable and easy going. His faith in his students was unwavering. But I knew I had broken his trust. And that hurt.

"Close the door, Maggie, and have a seat." Coach directed me after following him into his office. I felt my hands start to sweat. I hated confrontation on any level. Coach Kline sat down behind his desk and looked at me. "Is there something going on with you that I need to know about?"

I didn't know what to say, so I decided playing ignorant was a good place to start. "Uh, not that I know of." I couldn't look at Coach. I felt too guilty. I heard him sigh. "Maggie, you are the best runner on the team. I really thought this was your year. But I feel like your heart just isn't into it anymore. You know, if there is anything you ever need to talk about, I'm here. My door is always open and what we discuss is confidential."

I wanted to cover my face with my hands. G.o.d, what did he think was going on? It was my own fault though. My unaccustomed flakiness put up a million red flags. But I couldn't admit that it was nothing more harmless than me spending my afternoons l.u.s.ting after the new guy. That probably wouldn't go over too well.

"Everything's cool, Coach. I guess I just have other stuff going on right now." Well, that was sort of the truth. I heard Coach click his pen over and over again. I looked at him and knew that I couldn't keep shirking my responsibilities. It wasn't fair to Coach or the team.

Coach Kline looked at me and frowned. "Well, I don't need to tell you that you miss one more practice and I have no choice but to suspend you for the rest of the season. It's the school policy. And I would hate to lose you. You have scholarships out there waiting for you. With your record, you'd be a shoe in. Don't throw it all away. You'd regret it down the road." I knew he was right.

"I won't, Coach. I promise." At the time, I really meant those words. I wanted the scholarships and the sparkling, pretty future. I wanted to make my family and school proud. These were all rational thoughts.

But when I saw Clay waiting for me after school, all rational thought went right out the window. It was too easy to lose myself in his company. He was like a drug and I was hopelessly addicted.

So cutting out our afternoon rendezvous was like going cold turkey. It seriously sucked. Instead, I had started stalking him at Ruby's Bookshelf. I knew he helped out there after school. I just couldn't go an entire day without having that alone time with him that I had come to crave. I also hated to admit that I was driven by my horrible jealousy over the too pretty for comfort, Tilly. Whose crush on Clay was becoming more and more obvious. Luckily, Clay was oblivious, otherwise I would have as serious cat fight on my hands.

Clay always seemed happy to see me and so it had become our thing. I would help him out at the shop and I got my Clayton Reed fix. Of course, now instead of p.i.s.sing off my coach, I was p.i.s.sing off my parents as a result of me missing dinner most of the week.