Find Me: Lost And Found Part 2

Jacks sauntered into the cabin looking a bit tired but otherwise happy. He was going to be a dad after-all, but spending hours combing through the dead city streets of San Diego to hit up the right baby shops with his pregnant girlfriend in tow was not his ideal way to spend a beautiful cloud-free day in July. What Ana wanted though, she seemed to get. And get a lot they did.

After breakfast, Jacks convinced everyone to take turns unloading bags and boxes of baby clothes and nursery essentials from the bed of his truck while Ana shouted out commands. I was the only one exempt from this duty since Jacks frowned at my still fresh road-rash injuries and officially dubbed me a spectator. It had been a week already and I was more than able to help, but inwardly happy I got pa.s.sed over so easily.

Rather than simply standing around staring at the others as they bustled around the full truck, I decided to follow Ana back to the cabin she shared next to mine with Jacks, to help unload the mult.i.tude of supplies she would soon find unnecessary. Five nursery lamps...really? Who needed that many lights in a baby's room? Or two boxes - BOXES of baby blankets. Ana was soon going to find out how much laundry a little person created, unless her plan was to throw out everything that got dirty. Knowing her prissy personality, I didn't doubt that as a possibility.

Watching her hobble up and down steps was my newfound guilty pleasure. Once she started showing she couldn't hide the pregnancy anymore. And I suspected it was because she was nervous about who the baby's father was. It wasn't my place to know, so I didn't ask. But I hoped that Jacks had. Not that it mattered much; he was sold on the idea of becoming a parent and if the math fit for him, so be it. She claimed to be somewhere around the end of her second trimester, which meant the ever-increasing swell of her stomach was becoming a daily spectator event, much to her displeasure.

Ana's usual tight-clothed, high-heeled fashion sense had been replaced with one that would rival any hippie's wardrobe. In fact, she dressed more like me...minus the jeans. She hated anything that was tight around her stomach or chest, which meant no more skinny jeans and push-up bras. Oh, the joys of pregnancy. Her dangly jewelry didn't go away though or the solid coat of makeup she wore daily. How she kept a constant supply of foundation on hand, I had no idea.

"So, do you want me to unpack the clothes...maybe hang them up in the closet?" I stood at the foot of the stairs, holding a bag of multi-colored socks not much bigger than my thumb and baby jumpers in my arms.

"No, no, no. I'll do it. Jacks has to put the dresser together first. I want the clothes in there." She grabbed the bag from me and wobbled up the stairs to the second floor. I tried not to laugh at the view.

"What about the blankets...you want those upstairs too?" I called after her. I figured I'd be safe with blankets.

"No, not yet! Those go in the dresser too," her voice trailed off as she walked down the hall into the spare bedroom turned nursery but I still caught what she said next, "...honestly, I'm surrounded by idiots!"

I counted to ten before taking a deep breath and trying to sound as if I hadn't heard her. "Hey, maybe I'll just go next-door and make lunch for everyone?" I needed an excuse to escape. It was still an hour before noon, but Ana was making it impossible to help. As was her usual way.

"Fine, whatever!" she hollered down the stairs.

Kris was parking the golf-cart in front of the cabin when I stepped back outside. The hot rays of the sun warmed my shoulders immediately. I made a mental note to put my bikini on after lunch and take a quick swim in the lake before I got too caught up in Ana's crazy decorating. With my bandages off, I was finally allowed back in the water.

Poor Kris was already caught in Ana's net. She was unloading more bags and small containers out of the back of the cart and smiled up at me as I approached. It was fun for her - planning for a baby. Half the group was beyond excited. Those of us that had already been parents were torn with conflicting emotions though. I know we were devastated, but we would never admit that out loud. I was happy for Ana and Jacks, truly I was. But her pregnancy was a constant reminder of my own lost children. On the inside, I was loathing the day Ana's baby cried for the first time.

I stood with my hands thrust into the pockets of my jean shorts and took in the view around me. The lodge was a lovely place. Even though we had lost the main building and the greenhouse, the rest of the property was still beautiful. The lake was perfect for the hot summer days and there was more than enough room for everyone to have their own s.p.a.ce. I should have felt happy, because I had Connor. But it was becoming harder and harder to shrug off the survivor guilt and the depression. It was on Connor's face too. The dark rings below our eyes never seemed to go away. The longing for the innocent lives we had lost - it was slowly consuming us.

Each flick of the small waves exhaled a cool breeze that paired nicely with the refreshing temperature of the lake water. I drifted aimlessly atop a full-length inflatable float with my eyes closed, enjoying the penetrating heat of the early afternoon sunshine. My left elbow dangled slightly over the side of the small raft so that every other wave slapped against it softly. It was strangely comforting and relaxing. Other than my backside, which was an inch or two under the water line, my left arm was the only part of me that was thoroughly wet.

A subtle shift in the waves made me open my eyes and despite the glare of the sun on the water, I caught a glimpse of something dark floating toward me on my right. When I lifted my head up to get a better look, whatever it was quickly sank below the surface. After trying to sit up, the flimsy float bowed beneath me, dipping me lower into the lake. Panicking, my legs had nowhere to go but back into the water as I stared into the darkness beneath me, waiting for whatever I saw to surface again.

I could see Zoey where she lay stretched out on her side at the end of the dock, snoozing in the sun; it wasn't the dog swimming in the water. As the current shifted below me, a strangled sound pushed its way up my throat and escaped out of my mouth just as I pictured the shark from Jaws. This is absurd because I knew there wasn't a shark in the lake, but my imagination was taking no prisoners and held firmly to the thought that I was seconds away from being torn to pieces by razor-sharp teeth. All of a sudden, a set of hands burst out of the water and grabbed my arm, pulling me into the lake with a loud splash.

I kicked and fought off my attacker under the water and forced myself back up for air. Once I gulped in enough oxygen to breathe, a face surfaced just in front of mine. Bright blue eyes peered at me mischievously beneath a full head of dark hair.

"b.a.s.t.a.r.d! You almost gave me a heart attack!" I screamed at Connor and splashed his laughing face with water. Zoey lifted her head up slightly to gaze at us before stretching and rolling onto her back. She returned to napping with her front legs pointing up at the sky.

"I'm sorry," Connor choked out the words between laughs and watery coughs, "I'm sorry...you just looked too comfortable...I had to mess with ya." He reached forward and grabbed my upper arms, tugging me into his chest.

"Relaxing was the point, jacka.s.s!" I struggled in his strong grip but my slight frame was no match against his long and lean one. I let my mouth fill with water and spit it at him, enjoying his shocked expression.

"Did you just spit in my face?" He pulled me tighter into him, sliding an arm around my waist, effectively pinning my chest to his. His fingers began a rhythmic prodding up and down my side and hip.

I squealed with laughter as he tickled me mercilessly while our bodies slid together and bobbed up and down in the water. I tried several times to dunk him, but couldn't push myself far enough away from his grip to get the proper leverage.

The sun beat down on the top of my head, warming my scalp. As I felt his hand move slowly over my hip and tug on the string of my bikini bottoms, I narrowed my eyes at him. "What are you doing?" I gasped as he answered by pulling the material free, tossing it onto the empty float drifting a few feet from us.

"It was in my way."

I lost myself in the sugary-lemon taste of his tongue as he crushed his mouth to mine while his hands expertly roamed around my body. Breaking free just long enough to take a deep breath, Connor pulled me through the water toward the raft and lifted it above our heads, depositing the plastic inflatable behind us, between our bodies and the sh.o.r.e.

"That won't stop anyone from seeing much if they look hard enough." I giggled as his mouth sucked and nibbled my earlobe, slowly working its way down my neck.

"I don't care who sees us. I want you. Now."

His eyes lit up with l.u.s.t as he pulled me close. Somehow, I missed the moment when he slipped out of his shorts and was pleasantly shocked when our hips met...skin to skin.

"You have a very naughty streak, Kevan O'Connor." I purred into his ear while kicking my feet steadily in an attempt to keep my head above water.

Connor bristled against me and instantly released my waist, using both his hands to cup my face. I ignored the wind that rolled along the top of the lake and let my arms fall from his shoulders as I floated in front of him...mesmerized by his gaze. Drops of water fell from his long, dark lashes as his watery-blue eyes bore into mine.

"Say that again." The need in his voice was husky - s.e.xy.

I tried to c.o.c.k my head to the side but he held my face firmly in place. Our feet and legs b.u.mped into each other as we were jounced around like human buoys in the middle of the lake.

"You're very naughty," I said with a smile.

"No..." he shook his head slowly and as he did the look of playful l.u.s.t dissolved and turned into more of a desperate plea. He took a deep breath and searched my face with his gaze before he whispered, "My name - say it again. Please."

With one hand, I reached up to gently stroke his lower lip with my index finger and whispered back, "Kevan O'Connor."

Our mouths met again, as well as our hips, and we pushed and rubbed against one another, hungrily drinking in the taste and feel of each other until the need to become one was unbearable. Forgetting everything, including where we were, I lifted one leg, hooked it around Connor's waist, and used my arms to steady myself in the water as he gripped my left hip with one hand and slowly eased into me. Instinctually, I tightened around him, moaning at the fullness of him inside me. We rocked against each other, riding the gentle waves of the lake, using our arms to float as best as we could, slowly building up to the overwhelming sensation our bodies were craving.

"G.o.d, Riley..." Connor moaned, quickening the pace of each thrust, reaching deeper.

"Yes, oh yes..." I murmured against his cheek before crushing my lips to his.

When I tilted my head back, my hair floated in the water as spasm after spasm tore through the muscles in my groin and vibrated erratically through my thighs. Connor pushed harder into me before convulsing and biting down on his lower lip to keep from crying out. I pulled his face to mine as his body shook and tugged gently on his lower lip with my teeth.

"Oh my G.o.d, woman," he panted against my open mouth.

I wiggled my hips against his, refusing to release him. He was still hard inside me and I wanted to enjoy the sensation as long as he would let me.

"You have to stop grinding like that, Riley," his voice cracked slightly, "...or I swear to G.o.d I'll come again."

I flexed my pelvis rhythmically against him. "Promise?"

CHAPTER four.

The swim back to the dock was grueling. My arms and legs were spent; my muscles jerked uncontrollably from our lovemaking session in the middle of the lake. We had treaded the water for nearly an hour while having s.e.x and after spent a considerable amount of time trying to locate Connor's shorts, which we eventually spotted floating a good hundred feet from the middle of the lake.

Several times my head would dip below the water line and I would panic, thinking I might drown only thirty feet from dry land. My only solace was that Connor struggled to swim just as much as I did. When we reached the end of the dock both of us gripped the wooden pillars with relief, ignoring the slimy feel of the wet wood beneath our hands.

"d.a.m.n. That was harder than I thought it would be." I leaned my forehead on my arm while Connor rolled over onto his back and floated beside me.

"No joke. You wore me out, woman," he laughed into the warm afternoon breeze.

I smiled against my arm for a moment before taking the opportunity to sneak up on Connor and push him under the water. He came back up sputtering and cursing with a boyish grin on his face. I had already swum a good ten feet from him by the time he surfaced, in an attempt to stay clear of his wandering hands. Only a few more seconds of swimming and my feet would be able to touch the ground. I didn't make it in time.

One of Connor's hands reached out and grabbed the back of my bikini top, pulling the ties out in one deft movement. I had to scramble out of the lake topless, stumbling over smooth stones the size of lemons and broken twigs while Connor laughed behind me, dangling my wet bikini top from his hand.

When I made it to soft dirt, I spun around to face him with my arms crossed protectively around my chest. With a wicked smile on his face, he spun the fabric around on his finger. I set my mouth into a fake pout as I struggled to hold the laughter in.

"I suppose I'll have to walk back to the cabin half-naked." I lifted an eyebrow at him as he clumsily made his own way out of the lake, still twirling my yellow bikini in the air above his head. He stopped ankle-deep in the water after the implication of my words sank in. The bikini top slid off his stilled finger and settled into the crook of his elbow.

His smile faltered slightly as he said, "You wouldn't dare."

"Is that a challenge?" I lowered my arms from my chest to prop my hands on my hips. Feeling the fading sunshine on my nipples, I tossed my hair back over my shoulders and widened my stance. A smile played at the corner of my mouth as Connor's face fell. He glanced up and down the lake and stared hard at the cabins before rushing toward me.

"Jesus, here. Put it back on before someone sees you." He tossed the top at me but I let it fall to the rocky sand at my feet.

Instead of bending down to pick it up, I turned from him and ran to the trail that connected the main part of the lodge to the cabins as fast as my wobbly legs would allow, aware that my b.r.e.a.s.t.s swayed with each stride. Connor yelled and cursed behind me, closing the gap between us in just a few seconds.

"Riley! d.a.m.n it!"

I squealed when his strong arms wrapped around me from behind and lifted me off the ground. He turned around so that his back was to the cabins and set me down carefully, splaying his fingers over my naked b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

"I want to be the only one to see these beauties. Put your top on!" he said playfully before tossing the bikini at me again and quickly leaning down to bite my shoulder.

I positioned the small triangles around my front and turned so that he could tie the strings together, laughing the whole time his fingers trembled against my skin. Zoey ran up beside us, barking and wagging her tail vigorously, interested in joining whatever game we were playing.

"What happened to the naughty Connor?" I asked breathlessly as he snuggly tied my top together and snapped the wet bikini string against my back.

"You want naughty? Just wait till I get you inside...behind closed doors."

Zoey barked excitedly at our feet as Connor bent down and threw me over his shoulder, ignoring my protest. "We'll need a babysitter for the dog because the cabin is all ours for the rest of the night. By the time I'm through with you, you'll know my naughty side," he said over my loud squeals and giggles.

I arched my back up to meet his fingers, enjoying the feel of his rough skin on my body as his touch brought out moans of pleasure from some unknown place deep inside of me. He sat straddled over my hips, his throbbing erection resting just below my navel. I ached to touch him but my hands were pinned securely above me.

In the full moon of the night, I was able to make out each angle of his defined chest and the washboard effect of his muscular abs. The feel of his whiskered chin dragging over my collarbone and the roughness of him across my nipples made me gasp in antic.i.p.ation. The coa.r.s.e stubble tickled my skin and even though I felt the sensation everywhere, the heat of my groin reached near-nuclear temperatures.

With one of his hands still holding mine together tightly, he shifted so that he could rest on his side. With his free fingers, he continued to explore my trembling body. He drew lazy circles along the edge of my ribcage, leaning forward to flick his tongue over my erect nipples. Every time his mouth touched me, my breath hitched. I squirmed beneath him as his hand trailed further down, over my stomach and hipbones. He gently pushed my legs apart so that he could run his fingers up and down my inner thighs, teasing me until I moaned.

"Please...I want you, now," I pleaded.

"Soon...soon."

He released my hands and immediately I dug my fingers into his hair while his mouth trailed feathery kisses down the curve of my waist, over my abdomen and along the inside of my thigh. I lifted my hips in submission as his tongue explored the heat between my legs, softly flicking and probing.

In the moonlight, the gold in his hair shimmered as his head moved beneath my navel and I gripped his wide shoulders with my hands, digging into his flesh with my nails.

"Oh my G.o.d, don't stop..." I moaned, "...please don't stop."

I gasped when his lips vibrated against my c.l.i.toris as he said, "Don't worry, I'm just getting started, baby."

Moments later my body lurched with wave after wave of intense pleasure as he brought me up and over the peak of a glorious o.r.g.a.s.m with only his mouth. I was still basking in the glow of my climax when he moved his body over mine, nudging my legs further apart as he lowered his hips.

"Fin..." I groaned into his mouth as our lips and groins crashed together at the same time.

Covered in sweat, I bolted upright in bed. Connor's arm was draped heavily across my midsection and slid into my lap after I moved. That did not just happen, I thought to myself. I did not just have a s.e.x dream about Fin! What the h.e.l.l? But I had, my body remembered it in every way. My heart rate was racing for the Olympic Gold and sweat glistened every inch of my skin.

I swiped at my upper lip and forehead in frustration; irritated and embarra.s.sed by the warm moisture between my legs that proved my body enjoyed the dream just as much as my mind had. Connor lay on his stomach in his favorite position next to me, his arm still resting limply in my lap. My cheeks flush as I recalled some of the things I did with Fin in the dream...or more importantly, some of things he did to me. Part of me wanted to shake Connor awake and let the dream spew from my mouth - an instant admission to absolve me of any further guilt. But that would do neither of us any good. Instead, I slithered slowly out from under Connor's arm and crawled silently out of bed. No man wanted to hear about his lover dreaming about someone else.

After pulling on the first few articles of clothing I could find in the pale moonlight, I quietly left the room, stealing a glance over my shoulder at the dark-haired, divine being that was asleep on the sheets. I wasn't sure if the guilt I felt was rational or not, but it hurt regardless.

The dirt felt cool under my bare feet as I walked up the shadowy trail. Shoes weren't necessary. I knew the path well, even in the dead of night. I stopped in front of the first cabin and the sounds and smells that emanated from Fin's place not that long ago flooded through me. It wasn't fair that he died, not after surviving the virus. I hated Matt for taking him from us, from me. The gla.s.s windows were unlit of course, and with the curtains closed, it looked as if the building was frozen in sleep.

With an angry sigh, I turned away from the cabin and continued up the path, pa.s.sing the entrance to the lake dock until the dirt merged with the weed-filled gra.s.s. Even without the full moon to guide me along the way, I knew exactly where I was going. It was a place I visited almost every day. I slowed my pace to avoid stepping on anything sharp as I weaved in and out of a handful of tall pine trees, keeping the lake on my left and the dense forest to my right as I slowly ascended. By the time I reached the small outlook that faced the lake, I was slightly out of breath, more from nerves than the exercise.

I sat down next to the mound of dirt surrounded by stones with a soft grunt. Since I was wearing only my cut off jean shorts and Connor's t-shirt, the late night summer air felt refreshing and cool. The moon reflected off the watery surface of the lake below in such a way that it reminded me of a ginormous diamond. After shifting in the dirt, I rested my right hand on the grave next to me.

"Fin...I have to let you go," I said softly.

A bird squawked somewhere in the distance and I listened to the soft creaking of the pine tree limbs above me as they groaned from the breeze. It was a beautiful night a perfect night.

"I'm seeing you and dreaming about you now...can't you just let me be?" I whispered to the night. After burying my face into my hands, I leaned forward onto my bent knees and let the tears come freely. I cried until my body shook with sadness, until I had cried myself dry.

"I have to say goodbye, Fin. I have to leave for a while...I have to let you go." I sniffled into my arm before wiping my face on Connor's thin shirt.

"Don't go...stay..." A husky voice drifted on the breeze and I peered up nervously from my knees.

"Connor?" I asked the empty night.

"Stay with me...please stay..."

The voice was closer and coming from the trees behind me. A twig snapped nearby and I scrambled to my feet, facing the darkness of the woods. The moon couldn't touch the forest floor, not with the tree canopy as full as it was but I peered into the trees anyway, hoping to see something - anything. Eventually I did.

The leaves rustled at the base of a pine and as I watched, a dark mist formed into the shape of a body. I gaped at the shadow as it continued quickly to change until it had morphed into that of a man. I had barely registered what my eyes had seen when it flew across the forest floor and slammed into me. It pa.s.sed right through me, filling my body momentarily with added energy. My flesh broke out in goose b.u.mps and the force knocked me ungraciously backwards, onto my a.s.s.

I sat on the ground struggling to catch my breath in the cool air, clamping onto my lower lip with my teeth to keep myself from screaming out loud. Fin. I had felt him, tasted him even. I sensed every part of him as he pa.s.sed through me. With my hands splayed out in the weeds on either side of my hips, my body shook with fear and something else, something worse - longing.