Fifty Contemporary One-Act Plays Part 245

[_Groping his way, with arms wide before him, he strides through the frail papers of the wall without knowing it, and continues seeking for the wall straight across the stage._]

Where is the wall?

[_Gropes his way back, and stands very near Thyrsis without knowing it; he speaks slowly._]

There isn't any wall, I think.

[_Takes a step forward, his foot touches Thyrsis' body, and he falls down beside him._]

Thyrsis, where is your cloak?--just give me A little bit of your cloak!...

[_Draws corner of Thyrsis' cloak over his shoulders, falls across Thyrsis' body, and dies._

_Cothurnus closes the prompt-book with a bang, arises matter-of-factly, comes down stage, and places the table over the two bodies, drawing down the cover so that they are hidden from any actors on the stage, but visible to the audience, pushing in their feet and hands with his boot. He then turns his back to the audience, and claps his hands twice._]

COTH. Strike the scene!

[_Exit Cothurnus. Enter Pierrot and Columbine._]

PIER. Don't puff so, Columbine!

COLU. Lord, what a mess This set is in! If there's one thing I hate Above everything else,--even more than getting my feet wet-- It's clutter!--He might at least have left the scene The way he found it.... don't you say so, Pierrot?

[_She picks up punch bowl. They arrange chairs as before at ends of table._]

PIER. Well, I don't know. I think it rather diverting The way it is.

[_Yawns, picks up confetti bowl._]

Shall we begin?

COLU. [_screams_]. My G.o.d!

What's that there under the table?

PIER. It is the bodies Of the two shepherds from the other play.

COLU. [_slowly_]. How curious to strangle him like that, With colored paper ribbons!

PIER. Yes, and yet I dare say he is just as dead.

[_Pause. Calls Cothurnus._]

Come drag these bodies out of here! We can't Sit down and eat with two dead bodies lying Under the table!... The audience wouldn't stand for it!

COTH. [_off stage_]. What makes you think so?--Pull down the tablecloth On the other play, and hide them from the house, And play the farce. The audience will forget.

PIER. That's so. Give me a hand there, Columbine.

[_Pierrot and Columbine pull down the table cover in such a way that the two bodies are hidden from the house, then merrily set their bowls back on the table, draw up their chairs, and begin the play exactly as before, speaking even more rapidly and artificially._]

COLU. Pierrot, a macaroon,--I cannot _live_ Without a macaroon!

PIER. My only love, You are _so_ intense!... Is it Tuesday, Columbine?-- I'll kiss you if it's Tuesday.

[_Curtains begin to close slowly._]

COLU. It is Wednesday, If you must know.... Is this my artichoke, Or yours?

PIER. Ah, Columbine, as if it mattered!

Wednesday.... Will it be Tuesday, then to-morrow, By any chance?

[_Curtain._]

HELENA'S HUSBAND

AN HISTORICAL COMEDY

BY PHILIP MOELLER

Copyright, 1915, by Philip Moeller.

Copyright, 1916, by Doubleday, Page & Co.

All rights reserved.

CHARACTERS

HELENA, _the Queen_.

TSUMU, _a black woman, slave to Helena_.

MENELAUS, _the King_.

a.n.a.lYTIKOS, _the King's librarian_.

PARIS, _a shepherd_.

HELENA'S HUSBAND was first produced by the Washington Square Players, under the direction of Mr. Moeller, at the Bandbox Theatre, New York, on the night of October 4, 1915, with the following cast:

HELENA [_Queen of Sparta_] _Noel Haddon_.

TSUMU [_the slave_] _Helen Westley_.

MENELAUS [_the King_] _Frank Conroy_.

a.n.a.lYTIKOS [_his librarian_] _Walter Frankl_.

PARIS [_a shepherd_] _Harold Meltzer_.

The scene was designed by Paul T. Frankl and the costumes by Robert Locker.

Reprinted from "Five Somewhat Historical Plays" published by Alfred A. Knopf, by special permission of Mr. Moeller. The professional and amateur stage rights on this play are strictly reserved by the author.

Applications for permission to produce the play should be made to Mr.

Philip Moeller, care Alfred A. Knopf, 220 West 42nd Street, New York.