Fated Marriage Chapter 15.3

Chapter Fifteen (Part 3 of 3)

The truth was apart from competing for Ting Ting’s affections, Qin Song loved their son. He was proud to be Shun Shun’s dad. The night of Shun Shun’s one month milestone lunch celebration, Qin Song’s relatives and friends were invited to his parents’ home. Ting Ting recently gave birth and it wasn’t convenient for her to stand too long. The whole night he carried Shun Shun in his arms around his parents’ home for his relatives and friends to see his charming son.

That afternoon all the Liang’s sworn brothers were present at the lunch banquet in honour of Qin Shun Shun. Qin Song felt proud he became a father at a younger age than when his sworn brothers first became fathers and shamelessly paraded and praised Shun Shun in front of them.

Ji Nan saw Qin Song’s crazy peac.o.c.k behaviour and turned to face Li Wei Ran who was beside her. ‘Fifth brother, take a look at sixth brother. His motor mouth is about to fall to his gloves from all that boasting.’

Li Wei Ran nodded his head. ‘Fourth brother you need to be more understanding of sixth brother’s situation. That childish monkey suddenly got promoted to be a dad, it would be strange if he wasn’t deliriously happy.’

Qin Song overheard Li Wei Ran’s backhanded compliment and quickly turned around to insult his cousin. ‘Men who are whipped by their wives don’t have the right to talk in front of me.’

Big boss wanted to shoot down his sixth brother’s annoying mouth and joined in the battle of words. ‘Men who only have one son but are already giddy don’t have the right to talk in front of me.’

When big boss’ triplets were born, he used them to put Chen Yu Bai and Li Wei Ran in their places because they only had two children each.

Qin Song tilted his head to the ceiling and laughed loudly. ‘Men who took seven years to become a dad have no right to talk in front of me.’

Qin Song felt he went easy on big boss because if he included the years big boss was secretly in love with Gu Yan then it took big boss ten years before he became a dad of triplets.

Big boss, Ji Nan and Li Wei Ran were in disbelief they were defeated by their childish sixth brother.

The former player Rong Yan narrowed his eyes. ‘Men who only have one naughty little son have nothing to be happy about.’

Qin Song was happy Rong Yan fell into his trap and triumphantly turned to face Rong Yan. ‘Men who don’t even have one son have no right to talk in front of me.’

Rong Yan wasn’t affected by Qin Song’s insult. Instead Rong Yan had a gleam in his eyes and glanced at Chen Yu Bai who stood opposite to them giving his darling daughter Chen An An a gla.s.s of water. The ice glacier Chen Yu Bai gave Qin Song an ice dagger and slowly lifted the bridge of his gla.s.ses with an index finger… Qin Shun Shun could sense that his daddy was in trouble with third uncle and opened his pair of dark eyes that had long eyelashes to give his daddy a pity look… Qin Song’s legs became shaky and carried his son quickly to his wife… honey, save me! Third brother looked like he wanted to ship me off to a desert in the Middle East.

The Qin household hosted the lunch banquet for Qin Shun Shun all afternoon and at five in the evening Qin Shun Shun’s dinner banquet officially started. During the most boisterous atmosphere of the dinner banquet, Qin Yun came downstairs to join the celebration with everyone. That night Qin Yun’s complexion appeared good. When a family portrait was taken, Qin Yun sat with his shoulder leaning into Zhang Yu’s shoulder, Commander Zhang and Mrs Zhang senior sat at the front with them. Behind them was Qin Song’s little family of three, it was picturesque family portrait.

Qin Song was busy all day entertaining guests and by the time all the guests left it was the middle of the night. He felt larthergic and crawled onto the middle of the bed with Shun Shun. When Ting Ting came out of the bathroom she saw he stuck his finger inside their son’s mouth. Shun Shun thought it was feeding time and suckled but his mummy’s yummy milk didn’t come out. Shun Shun was disappointed and cried loudly. Qin Song who laid beside his gullible son, was amused and laughed whilst rolling around on the bed.

‘Big brother Song!’ Han Ting Ting called.

Ting Ting stepped to the bed and took out Qin Song’s finger from their son’s mouth. ‘Honey, I washed my hands before. It’s clean.’

‘It doesn’t matter. You can’t stick your fingers in Shun Shun’s mouth,’ Han Ting Ting said and glared at Song Song.

Han Ting Ting picked up Shun Shun and hugged him. Shun Shun could smell his mummy’s yummy milk and leaned his little chubby head against his mummy’s chest. Her heart melted at the sight of Shun Shun’s adorable little gesture. She quickly pulled down her night shirt to breastfeed Shun Shun on the bed.

After Shun Shun was born, he didn’t torture Ting Ting’s body as he did when he was inside her tummy. Qin Song’s mum spent a lot of energy and money to buy the best nutritious ingredients to cook dishes for Ting Ting’s consumption. Ting Ting’s small frame benefit from Qin Song’s mum’s attentive care and her body was healthy and vibrant. That was why since Shun Shun was born, he got to drink his mummy’s yummy milk. Ting Ting was used to breastfeeding Shun Shun but Qin Song’s eyes would always widen and honed in on the beautiful sight of Ting Ting breastfeeding.

Han Ting Ting glanced at Song Song and felt he acted unusual than the other times she breastfed Shun Shun… Song Song suddenly pressed his body against her back and she felt his hot breath at the back of her neck, it made her shiver. Her body tensed and turned around to face Song Song. ‘Hey.’

‘Um,’ Qin Song whispered.

Song Song suckled Han Ting Ting’s ear and she tried to shake him off. ‘We can’t.’

‘The doctor clearly said that after one month we can,’ Qin Song said. He bit Ting Ting’s soft earlobe and breathed heavily. His hands rubbed up and down her body. She leaned back on his chest and breathed weakly.

Shun Shun’s little nose was close to his daddy’s finger. Shun Shun didn’t want to stop drinking his mummy’s yummy milk but it was hard for him to breathe and he cried loudly to show that he wasn’t happy about his late night milk drinking time being interrupted.

Ting Ting heard Shun Shun cried and put more force into stopping Qin Song’s seductive movements. Qin Song’s eyes were red and teary, he wished he could swallow her whole.

‘I feel a little discomfort tonight… can we wait for another two days?’ Han Ting Ting bargained.

Ting Ting hugged Shun Shun and looked helplessly at Qin Song. Qin Song’s body stiffened and he pulled both Ting Ting and Shun Shun onto his lap. He inhaled her delectable fragrant body for a while and reluctantly loosened his grip. ‘I’ll wait until you feel more comfortable and I’ll ask for interest from you.’

Han Ting Ting sat on Song Song’s lap and felt his hot big package pressed against her lower back. She bit her lips for a while before tilting her head to kiss his chin. ‘Song Song, I’m sorry.’

Qin Song hugged Ting Ting tight and leaned his chin on her shoulder. Qin Song looked down at their son who was fed and sleeping peacefully against her chest, suddenly Qin Song felt choked from abundant happiness. Qin Song pulled up Ting Ting’s night shirt and kissed her deeply. ‘Um, I’ll go shower.’

Han Ting Ting felt bad for Song Song and pulled him back to the bed. ‘Wait.’

‘What’s wrong? Having second thoughts? We can do it?’ Qin Song teased.

Han Ting Ting’s face was bright red. ‘Song Song, if you feel too uncomfortable, we can.’

Qin Song burst out in laughter. His little wife was too loveable! ‘I’m ok, after a shower I’ll be good.’ He lifted the bed sheet and covered it over Ting Ting and Shun Shun’s bodies. He pinched Ting Ting’s nose. ‘If you’re not up to it, I’m not going to force you. I want you to recover fully because you need to be beside me for the rest of my life.’

Han Ting Ting heard Song Song’s teasing tone but their faces were close and she saw his sincere heart behind the teasing. He pulled the bed sheet over her and Shun Shun and her eyes became teary. She knew that like her, he was thinking about Qin Yun too.

Qin Song and Han Ting Ting both felt life was too short but love was too deep. Love magnified everything beautiful in life but it also magnified every painful separation in life.

Qin Yun pa.s.sed away the following Monday after Shun Shun’s one month milestone celebration…

Qin Song was ready for work but he carried Shun Shun in his arms and didn’t want to be separated from Shun Shun. Han Ting Ting helped him carry his suitcase to the front door. When they opened the front door they were startled to see Zhang Yu standing outside in a daze.

Qin Song got a bad feeling. ‘Mum?’

Zhang Yu composed her pale body. ‘Where are you going? Don’t leave. Go farewell your dad, he’s about to pa.s.s away.’

Han Ting Ting’s whole body was shaking and dropped Song Song’s suit case. ‘Mum…’

Qin Song felt lost for two seconds before he turned around and gently put Shun Shun in Ting Ting’s arms. Then he draped an arm around Zhang Yu’s shoulder. ‘Ok, we’ll go see dad.’

Qin Song’s family entered his parents’ bedroom. Qin Song saw his parents’ room was taken up by a cloud of white lab coats. The doctors that wore the white lab coats, all looked sombre. They heard footsteps and turned around to look at him. He nodded his head. ‘You can all leave.’

The doctors left the room. Zhang Yu, Qin Song, Han Ting Ting and Shun Shun stayed behind in the room that was filled with a heavy atmosphere. Zhang Yu played with Qin Yun’s hand. Qin Yun creased his forehead and tried to fight his drowsiness, he slowly opened his eyes for the final time. Qin Yun saw Zhang Yu and struggled to force his mouth to smile.

Qin Yun smiled weakly but everyone saw the gentleness behind his weak smile. Inside their trembling hearts they saw Qin Yun the infamous prideful man.

‘Don’t you want to say anything to me? Like declaring your love for me? It’s your last chance,’ Zhang Yu said.

The moment Zhang Yu stepped into the room she hid her broken heart. The Zhang Yu who stood in front of Qin Yun smiled brightly like the carefree Zhang Yu who Qin Yun met for the first time decades ago… the love Qin Yun and Zhang Yu shared was the best thing that happened in Qin Yun’s life.

Qin Yun gently patted Zhang Yu’s hand and she sat on the bed beside him.

‘Qin Song!’ Qin Yun called. He stretched out his hand to Qin Song. Qin Song gripped his hand and helped him sit up against the head bed. ‘I’m sorry. I’ve never praised you once.’ He paused to gather all his strength. ‘It wasn’t because you’re not smart or didn’t excel enough nor was it because I didn’t think you’re strong. It was because I worried too much about your future. You were a child that was too fortunate. The moment you were born there was a circle of people ready to protect you, love you and dote on you. Your life path laid in front of you was too smooth. It was though you’ll never get to taste failure. I was really worried. I was worried what would happen if you were ever faced with struggles and how much you’ll be able to cope… I’m sorry, it’s only now that I realised I was wrong. I can now see that you don’t just own luck. I should have known a lot sooner that because you’re my son that you won’t let obstacles get in your way and you have the same blessings in life as I do… I feel that you’re my blessing… Song Song, having a son like you, I have no regret left in this lifetime.’

Qin Song leaned forward and used an arm to support his dad. He forced himself to smile. ‘Dad, I know. Is there anything else you want to say to me?’

‘Um, I do have one thing that won’t let my heart be at peace… my woman, in the future I have to burden you to take care of my woman,’ Qin Yun said. He gently patted his son’s shoulder and handed over the duty of protecting Zhang Yu to his son.

Qin Song nodded his head. ‘Dad, be at peace. I promise that for the rest of my life I’ll make sure that mum gets to continue to be unreasonable, lively, stubborn, get to have her way and don’t have to follow protocols like how her life is when you were by her side.’

After Qin Yun exchanged a duty for an oath with Qin Song, the two generations of the Qin household held onto each other’s shoulder like two close brothers. There was no longer the fear of a painful separation between them, they treated death like it was a long deep sleep. Ten years, twenty years, one hundred years later… because they shared a close bond they would meet again.

Qin Song stepped back and brought his wife and son to stand in front of his dad.

Han Ting Ting wasn’t able to put on a light att.i.tude like Zhang Yu and Song Song. Han Ting Ting carried Shun Shun who was sleeping peacefully in her arms and sat down on Qin Yun’s bed. She couldn’t hold back the tears deep in her heart from falling down her cheeks.

‘Little girl, don’t cry. What’s there to cry about?’ Qin Yun said. He rubbed Ting Ting’s head. In his heart he saw Ting Ting as his own daughter. ‘Ting Bao, I have two things left I want to say to you. Marrying into my family isn’t a fair bargain for you. In the future my Song Song has to rely on you.’

Han Ting Ting wasn’t able to say a word, her tears kept falling and she could only nod her head.

‘Our little Qin Shun Shun… if Shun Shun gives you grieviences, give them all to his dad to deal with it,’ Qin Yun advised. He played with Shun Shun’s little soft hand. His hand lingered on Shun Shun’s hand for a long time, he didn’t want to be separated from Shun Shun. He forced himself to retrieve his hand and lifted his head to look at his son. ‘Ok, you can take your wife and son outside.’

Qin Song’s eyes lingered on his dad one last time… a long time later he held his wife and son into his chest and they quietly left his parents’ room.

Qin Song closed his parents’ bedroom door. Qin Song’s family stood in a daze waiting outside his parents’ bedroom. They heard soft and loud mumbles from his parents’ room. They didn’t need to hear the exact words but knew that the mumbles were the deep love that was shared for decades and wouldn’t change in the future between Qin Yun and Zhang Yu.

The mumbles suddenly ceased… a long time later Qin Song’s family heard Zhang Yu cried out, it wasn’t a sob but Zhang Yu’s one cry contained all imaginable pain. Qin Song’s face paled, Han Ting Ting covered her mouth to stop the sounds of her crying from coming out and little Shun Shun who was too young to understand what happened to Qin Yun but Shun Shun woke up and loud ‘waaa waaa’ sounds from Shun Shun’s little heart echoed throughout the house.

Qin Song never wanted to own any head position but after his dad’s pa.s.sing the head of the Qin household position was put on his shoulders. Qin Song knew he needed to maintain the Qin household’s dignity and couldn’t avoid being civil to opportunistic critters that came to his dad’s funeral in hopes of forming a better connection with the Qin household. His dad’s coffin was behind him and on his shoulders were heavy burdens, he realised he’d never be able to return back to be the Qin Song that was reckless, stubborn and selfish in the past.

Qin Song felt that his new maturity made the people around him happy and at ease but for him it felt too heavy.

Qin Song was responsible for greeting guests outside the hall. Zhang Yu stayed inside the hall and performed the funeral rituals required as the wife of Qin Yun who was the former head of the Qin household. Zhang Yu went through the motions as guest after guest arrived to pay their respects. Amongst the guests were many curious wives of Qin Yun’s business acquaintances. They came especially to see how the Zhang household’s ‘drunken sheltered daughter’ Zhang Yu would disgrace herself at Qin Yun’s funeral. Usually the Zhang Yu they were accustomed to was doted on and under the protection of Qin Yun so Zhang Yu was always carefree and shunned protocols. They thought they’d see Zhang Yu sobbing hysterically that day but unexpectedly Zhang Yu was composed and calmly followed all the funeral rituals required to a satisfactory standard.

Zhang Yu maintained an indifference expression. She looked beautiful in a black dress and her posture was regal. Not a single cry came out of her pursed lips and not a single drop of tear came out of her eyes.

No one knew the real reason why Zhang Yu didn’t cry. Zhang Yu didn’t cry because she was putting up a brave front or that she was strong. It was because the man that wiped her tears her whole life was laying silently inside the coffin in front of her. Without him, no one in the world should even dream they could console her.

Zhang Yu’s soul whispered to Qin Yun’s soul – ‘Qin Yun, take a look, apart from you, there’s no one left who understands me.’

Han Ting Ting stood beside Zhang Yu most of the day. She saw her mum-in-law stood straight, head held high and eyes blood red. It made her heart broken and speechless, she didn’t know how to console Zhang Yu. Like Zhang Yu, she also married into the Qin household and she understood a little of Zhang Yu’s sense of pride to be married to someone who was head of the Qin household.

Every two hour interval Han Ting Ting left the hall to breastfeed Shun Shun. She’d pa.s.s the living room and saw Song Song spoke civilly to the guests that arrived. The guests looked solemn but Song Song looked calm. But later when she pa.s.sed the living room she saw Song Song’s sworn brothers arrived. His sworn brothers silently embraced Song Song one by one and Song Song let go of his composure to reveal his true deep grief.

Han Ting Ting from the distance was able to see how Song Song hunched over and his head lowered. His defeated posture pierced sharp gla.s.ses into her heart, it was unspeakable pain.

It was spring and night winds weren’t cold. The night sky was clear and the moon shone down on the house that Qin Yun lived in his life. The shadows of grieving guests leaving didn’t match a fresh spring night. The night breezes pa.s.sed through and fluttered the white fabrics that were hung on tree branches.

It was pa.s.sed three in the morning. Han Ting Ting waited for Song Song to return to their room and couldn’t sleep. She decided to put on her clothes and went downstairs to heat up a gla.s.s of milk for him.

Han Ting Ting pa.s.sed the hall and there were still many good friends that stayed awake next to the coffin. She greeted them with a polite smile and went to look for Song Song. She found him by the fish pond.

Song Song stood at the spot where his whole family were fishing last summer, he stood in a daze facing the fish pond and quietly smoking.

Qin Song heard swish-swoosh footsteps on the gra.s.s and became alert. He turned around and saw it was Ting Ting. He was about to throw away the cigarette in his hand but she stopped him.

‘Song Song, continue smoking. Once in a while smoking a couple of cigarettes to get rid of stress is ok,’ Han Ting Ting said.

Qin Song smiled at Ting Ting and his hand still threw away the cigarette. He pulled the collar of her jacket up. ‘Honey, why are you out here? Is Shun Shun sleeping in our room by himself?’

‘No. My parents are here, Shun Shun’s sleeping with them tonight,’ Han Ting Ting said. She held Song Song’s hand and was relieved it wasn’t frozen. ‘I was scared you were cold. Are you sleepy? There’re still a few hours before morning, why don’t you rest your eyes a little?’

Qin Song shook his head. ‘I’m not sleepy.’ He b.u.t.toned Ting Ting’s collar b.u.t.tons. ‘Honey, go back inside. You only gave birth a month ago and need to be more careful. I’ve been too busy the last two days and haven’t been taking good care of you and Shun Shun, I’m sorry. You need to take care of yourself well, you’re not allowed to fall ill.’

‘I know. You don’t have to worry about Shun Shun and me,’ Han Ting Ting said. She gave Song Song the gla.s.s of milk. ‘Drink it. I want to stay with you for a bit then I’ll go back inside.’

Qin Song’s hands were warmed holding the gla.s.s of milk. He gave Ting Ting a sip of milk first then he gulped down the milk. He felt better after drinking the milk with Ting Ting beside him.

Qin Song put the empty gla.s.s on the nearby stone table. He hugged Ting Ting and sighed.

‘Do you feel better?’ Han Ting Ting asked.

‘Um,’ Qin Song said.

It was silent from all four directions. Ting Ting didn’t know what to say to Qin Song and gently patted his arm like how she’d pat Shun Shun to get Shun Shun to sleep. Qin Song felt comforted and rested his chin on her head.

‘Song Song, if you feel uncomfortable anywhere, you can tell me,’ Han Ting Ting said softly.

‘I’m ok,’ Qin Song said. He closed his eyes. ‘Honey, you don’t have to worry. I still need to look after you, Shun Shun and others. I won’t collapse.’

‘I’m not worried you’ll collapse. I know you’re more capable and stronger than others… but I’m scared you’re tired and that you’re bottling up your grief. Song Song, I’m not an outsider. In front of me you don’t have to act tough, I won’t laugh at you,’ Han Ting Ting said.

Han Ting Ting felt that she was Song Song’s wife and someone he could share his sadness, happiness or anger.

Qin Song let go of his stiff smile and showed how depressed he felt. He didn’t want to show that side of him to anyone but he felt safe to be himself in front of Ting Ting.

Qin Song was a pillar of the Qin household that others relied on. It didn’t matter who came to pay their respects to his dad, whether they were sincere or acting, during the day he didn’t dare to think about one thing – on the inside he was just a child that lost his dad.

Qin Song’s heart cried out to Ting Ting – ‘I don’t have a dad anymore. I’m really hurting.’

A layer of pain Qin Song suppressed was pulled to the surface of his heart by Ting Ting. The other layers of pain would gradually dissolve over time. ‘My dad is really gone… I never imagined it was possible for someone as strong as my dad to die… since I was a kid to now, my dad to me was… he was for everyone the most reliable and tenacious man as if there was nothing that he couldn’t do.’

‘I know he was… I know,’ Han Ting Ting said softly.

‘My dad gave me many blessings, he brought you into my life and because you’re with me we conceived Shun Shun… my dad brought everything that’s good into my life,’ Qin Song said.

Qin Song regretted the foolish years he spent being arrogant enough that it was laughable, misunderstanding his dad didn’t love him and wasting years meaninglessly. His dad in his final stage in life, used the strength his dad had left to comfort him and from the bottom of his heart he truly regretted his foolish behaviour in the past.

‘Hey,’ Han Ting Ting said. She pulled back from Song Song’s tight grip to look up at him. She stood on her tiptoes and hugged his waist. ‘Let me hug you. If you want to be sad be sad, if you want to cry it’s ok, right here it’s just the two of us.’

Qin Song was hugged tight by Ting Ting. He was taller than her by a head, he hunched to let her hug him, it wasn’t a comfortable position but mysteriously all the tensions in his body went away in that uncomfortable position. She hugged him until she couldn’t stand straight anymore and fell into his chest then he straightened and squeezed her waist. He lifted her off the ground and she leaned on his waist.

‘Ting Bao…’ Qin Song said in a shaky voice. He let Ting Ting stand on his toes. He didn’t say anything else except calling her name for a long time.

That night, Qin Song and Han Ting Ting hugged each other in front of the fish pond until morning.

Past six in the morning the sky brightened and the dark clouds parted. Above Qin Song and Han Ting Ting the sky cleared and was wide and the light shredded the previous bleak night. The light was warm and made it a fresh day.

Qin Song carried his wife to the stone bench and he rocked her to sleep. He used his jacket to cover her body and rested his chin on her head to watch the sunrise. The sunlight shone on her beautiful sleeping figure and it dissolved another layer of pain in his heart.

It was a new day, the day Qin Song matured, the official day he carried all the responsibilities of someone who was a protector and resilient.

Qin Song looked into the distance at his and Ting Ting’s new home. He made a vow to himself that he’d protect everyone that he loved in their home, his vulnerable mum and his little son who was sleeping peacefully in a crib. He looked down at his sleeping lifetime partner, he didn’t care if they were rich, poor, lived a life of luxury or struggled to make ends meet he’d have Ting Ting by his side and together they’d endure what was ahead of them and they weren’t going to separate from each other.

Qin Song’s dad entrusted him with the duty to protect his family and he wasn’t going to let his dad down. In the future he was going to pa.s.s down the same duty to his son the same way his dad trusted he’d carry out his duty for the rest of his life.

In the past Qin Song thought that it was inevitable that he’d settle down and take on his dad’s responsibilities. But under the spring light, he finally understood that the heavens planned for him to meet Ting Ting and to bring Shun Shun into the world before he was born.

End of Chapter Fifteen (Part 3 of 3)