Fantasyland: Midnight Soul Part 43

"And when the green mist clears, baby, we're gonna have a f.u.c.kin' blast."

I wanted that. I was very much looking forward to going to his world, especially these last few days after I'd shared I'd made the decision that I would and he'd explained much more about his world and what would be awaiting Josette and I there.

I wanted it more now because it would mean Josette and my adventure would finally begin and Noc and my separation would be over.

"Yeah?" he prompted when I said nothing.

"Yes, Noc," I replied dutifully.

He pressed his forehead into mine before he pulled away, looked down out my window and murmured, "It's time."

I drew in a sharp breath at the sharp pain those words caused but tried to hide it as I cast my gaze in the same direction to see he spoke true.

And unfortunately Josette was outside, cloaked and ready to go, peering up at the palace in the direction of my room.

If I didn't move, she would be forced to run up to fetch me. A waste of time and energy.

Thus I put one hand to the window, pulled slightly away from Noc, waved to her with my other and pointed down, indicating in a way I hoped she read that I would be right down.

She waved back, hopped twice on her boots and then whirled, causing an outward waft of her new, lovely cranberry wool cloak that was lined with sunshiny-gold rabbit fur.

Her new clothes were perfection not only because they suited her, but because she made no bones about the fact she was enjoying having them.

Although, according to Noc, she wouldn't be able to wear them in our new world when we got there.

This mattered not. I was screamingly rich. I'd buy her another wardrobe in just months' time and I'd delight in it.

It was a shock but it couldn't be denied, acts of generosity felt very, very good.

On this thought, Noc drew me away from the window, my hand in his still held to his chest, but my arm was now tucked to his side as he led me out of the room.

Apparently, what needed to be said had been said. We were both quiet as we walked down the hall toward the stairs.

I found my feet lagging, Noc's doing the same, and the silence became uncomfortable as we made our way down the stairs.

And as we walked across the grand entry, I had to force myself to put one foot in front of the other rather than drag them or come to a stop entirely, and the silence had become heavy with melancholy.

"G.o.ds, I've grown maudlin," I declared, staring at the door and only faintly sensing a footman coming forward with my cloak and hat.

"Yeah, goodbyes suck," Noc agreed.

He let me go so I could accept my cloak on my shoulders and he awarded me with a cheeky grin when I'd pulled my hat over my forehead.

"Dr. Zhivago," he whispered.

"I beg your pardon?" I asked, yanking on my gloves.

"Straight up, would seem impossible, but you're a f.u.c.kuva lot more gorgeous even than Julie Christie," he continued whispering. "And you don't know it, sweetheart, but that's saying something."

Through his words I'd grown solid. I had no idea to whom he was referring, but his tone and the look on his face made the depth of his compliment sparklingly clear.

This meant I did something I'd never done in my life.

In an effort not to be overwhelmed with the emotion I was feeling, I swatted his arm like a spoiled child or a flirting debutante and accused, "You're making this more difficult."

"My apologies," he said through a smile, taking hold of me again and heading us toward the front doors that footmen were opening for us, going on to say, "Let's get your a.s.s in that sleigh."

Noc guided us out into the glorious cold only for me to find myself at the bottom of the palace steps having additional new pleasantly unpleasant experiences.

These being bidding adieu to Queen Aurora, Dax Lahn, Circe, Finnie, Frey, Tor and Cora, all people I would not again see, not soon, and perhaps (especially in the case of Circe and Lahn), not ever.

This meant for some unfathomable reason, in getting (and giving) many public hugs, the one I had with Circe was the longest.

And it felt good as well as bad, both coming from the fact it wasn't only me who seemed not to wish to let go.

"Say hey to the other Circe for me," she said in my ear.

"This I'll do," I promised.

"And don't be hard on yourself like you're so good at being," she instructed. "The c.r.a.p time is over. Now's your time to let go and have fun."

"Of course," I replied, wishing to do as she instructed, but knowing from experience it would not be easy as the women had now been telling me this for some time. "As for you, I wish you a pleasant pregnancy, ease of birth and much joy when that bundle arrives."

She pulled away but didn't let me go to inform me, "The birth couldn't be worse than the last. Then again, I shouldn't say stuff like that or I might jinx myself."

Jinx?

I didn't ask.

I just gave her a small smile.

She gave me a big, bright one and finally let me go.

I could now say that holding affection for others, and having that returned, was quite a lovely feeling, going so far as admitting I treasured it, them, all of them (even Lahn, who was daunting but he could be quite amusing and gentle, both definitely endearing).

I could also now say that it had severe drawbacks for I had never, not once, lingered in leaving a place at all, but certainly not because I was saddened to leave the people there behind.

Noc had given me my first hug and he also came in to give me the last before he held my hand and (unnecessarily, but I did not pull away...oh no, I did not) steadied me as I made my way into my sleigh beside Josette who was already seated, ensconced under the furs.

"See you soon," he told me softly once I, too, was under the furs.

I looked into his blue eyes.

It would not be soon.

It would be too b.l.o.o.d.y long.

"Yes, soon," I agreed.

He leaned in. I held my breath. He kissed my nose. I let my breath go.

He moved away and did it decisively, shutting the door to the sleigh behind us.

"Ready?" Kristian called.

I tore my gaze from Noc moving away to nod to my brother.

He nodded back, turned ahead, snapped his reins and shouted, "Heeyah!"

I leaned forward and grabbed our reins from the hook in front of us and followed suit.

I didn't wish to do anything inane such as wave or gaze lingeringly behind me for I knew all too well what either would communicate.

So I didn't wave and I didn't look behind me, my gaze lingering on Noc.

Instead, I looked behind me and waved once with a flick of my raised hand to indicate my final farewell to them all.

But I did this with my eyes locked to Noc.

He lifted his hand back.

I felt my throat get thick.

It was then I turned away and stared resolutely at the back of my brother's sleigh, thinking I should have asked to have Timofei in our sleigh with us, not only because I enjoyed my nephew's company, but also because he would be a pleasant distraction.

"You're taken with him," Josette said as we left the Winter Palace behind.

"Mm..." I murmured.

"As in, everyone knows you're taken with him, but the truth is, you're very taken with him," she went on.

"Mm..." I repeated.

"As in, no one knew if we'd ever be away, you having to say goodbye to him and he to you," she stated. "Everyone suspected such an event would take hours, even days, or longer."

I looked to her. "There was talk of this?"

"I think it was Princess Cora who said something like there was a good chance Master Noc would drag you by your hair up to his bedroom and if that occurred they wouldn't see either of you for weeks."

Alas, that did not happen.

And truth be told, I doubted it ever would.

I struggled with, but could not deny, I was attracted to him.

His feelings in return were genuine and warm.

But not once had he ever given indication they were anything more.

I turned my attention back to where we were heading. This, I determined in that moment, would be my focus. Look only where I was heading. One minute to the next. One hour to the next. One day to the next.

And hopefully before we knew it, our true adventure would begin.

That adventure including being back with Noc.

For even if I had him only as my first real friend (outside, strictly, Josette, that was), my feelings for him were such I'd take that.

I'd take anything to have Noc.

Josette reached out and touched my wrist briefly. "We'll be with him again soon."

"Yes, we will," I agreed and snapped the reins, for Kristian had done the same and was going faster.

Although I'd agreed, I knew it would not be soon enough.

Ten days later "It's your crystal ball."

I stared with some distaste at the large, shining crystal sphere sitting on its bed of sapphire velvet that Valentine had just presented to me.

A crystal ball.

How cliche.

Was this really what magic was about?

Disappointing.

"There will be many implements you'll acquire to a.s.sist you in brandishing the magic you have inside you. You'll find your way with all of them. You'll find your favorite. This," Valentine indicated the crystal, "is mine."

I looked from her back to the globe.

Well, this was my journey. This was who I was. And one could not say I wasn't utterly delighted to experience the minimal magical experiences I'd had and the time I'd spent with my sister-witches.

In other words, I needed to keep an open mind.

Therefore, I lifted my hand and did so only to touch the cool gla.s.s.

When I did, a frisson of pleasure started at the small of my back and chased itself up my spine, over my shoulder, down my arm and through my fingertips, and inside the crystal ball I saw a wisp of the most beautifully-hued azure rise of smoke inside it.

Everything about me grew warm, inside and out.

Never, outside the color of Noctorno Hawthorne-of-the-other-world's eyes, had I seen anything so exquisite.

"Indeed," Valentine murmured. "You're a natural."

I stared at the smoke curling and suddenly had the uncanny desire to wrap my arms around that shining orb and hold it to me close, warm it with my body, memorize the feel of it against my breast.