Fade. Part 10

Omer's hand was outstretched, palm open, while the boy fumbled in his pocket. "Come on, hand it over," Omer commanded, unaware I had come upon the scene.

Joey LeGrande, lips trembling, drew his hand from his pocket and placed some coins in Omer's palm.

"That's my paper route money," Joey said, eyes filling with tears.

"There's only twenty cents here," Omer said in disgust, bouncing the coins in his hand. "Dig down, kid."

"It's not my money," Joey protested. "It belongs to Rudolphe Toubert. He's going to muckalize me ..."

"That's your worry, kid," Omer said. "Get the money up."

Joey dug into his pockets again and pulled out a few more coins, dropping them one by one in Omer LaBatt's waiting palm.

Joey was sobbing now, tears coursing down his cheeks, his hair disheveled, one leg of his knickers drooping almost to his ankle. "What'll I tell Rudolphe Toubert?" he cried desperately.

"Tell him you made a donation to the missionaries," Omer said, satisfied, slipping the money into his own pocket. "Okay, kid. Down on your knees."

"No," the boy cried, his nose beginning to run.

"Down," Omer snapped.

My sudden loss of breath told me that I had begun to fade. The pause, and then the flash of pain as I saw the boy dropping to his knees with Omer LaBatt standing over him like the lord of all he surveyed. The flash of pain almost lifted me from the ground. Omer LaBatt's hand moved to his belt buckle and then to the b.u.t.tons of his fly. I crouched, absorbing the cold now, the pain pa.s.sing out of my body. I looked down to see that I was completely invisible, the air cold and brisk in my lungs.

I flew at Omer LaBatt. He looked up at my approach, puzzled, hearing the rush of my body toward him but unprepared for the a.s.sault as I drove my shoulder into his stomach, my head into his chest. I rejoiced at his bellow of pain when he reeled backward, grabbing at air, face twisted with pain. He sank to the ground, dazed, shaking his head in confusion, and then began to pick himself up, rising to one knee.

Joey LeGrande, eyes wide with disbelief, scrambled to his feet and backed away, staring at Omer LaBatt. I watched him run down the alley looking over his shoulder at his stricken a.s.sailant, tripping once and getting to his feet, reaching the mouth of the alley, disappearing from sight. I turned again to Omer LaBatt and paused, watching him struggle to his feet, gasping for breath. I kicked him in the groin with all the strength I possessed. In that kick was every chase through every street and alley of Frenchtown, every fear he had inflicted on me and other kids. As he clutched himself bending over, I kicked again, my shoe finding his jaw this time, and he howled in agony, dropping to the ground, moaning, flecks of foam spilling from his mouth.

Standing triumphantly above him, the sweetness of a.s.sault singing in my bones and sinews, I felt my heart beat joyously, my flesh tingle vibrantly. Never had I felt more alive, more in tune with the world.

People began to stray into the alley, peering curiously at Omer LaBatt still groveling on the ground. I wanted to shout: "I did this-Paul Moreaux did this." But instead reluctantly left the scene of my revenge, fearing the gathering crowd could hear my thudding heart.

Later, in the shed, visible again, I began to tremble as I relived my attack on Omer LaBatt. My My attack? It seemed as if the person who had a.s.saulted Omer LaBatt so viciously were someone other than me. I had always avoided violence and confrontations, had fled from Omer LaBatt a hundred times, knowing myself a coward, brave only in my wildest dreams. But the rescue of Joey LeGrande and the attack on Omer LaBatt were not really acts of bravery. What were they, then? attack? It seemed as if the person who had a.s.saulted Omer LaBatt so viciously were someone other than me. I had always avoided violence and confrontations, had fled from Omer LaBatt a hundred times, knowing myself a coward, brave only in my wildest dreams. But the rescue of Joey LeGrande and the attack on Omer LaBatt were not really acts of bravery. What were they, then?

"The fade," I muttered. Nothing good had come out of my use of the fade. Would I ever forget what took place in the back room at Dondier's and in the bedroom of the Winslow house? Now, even my triumph over Omer LaBatt seemed tainted. I had never inflicted pain on another human being until that frenzied moment in the alley. Not only had I injured Omer LaBatt, I had enjoyed myself doing it.

My uncle Adelard had once said: "It's good that someone like you has been given the fade, Paul. Someone kind and gentle, not a brute."

Had I become a brute?

I tried to make myself small in the shed, knees jackknifed, eyes closed, as if I could shut out the world and hide away. But I knew there was no place to hide.

It wasn't until later at night, in bed, that another thought occurred to me, and I almost cried out in the dark. In Pee Alley that afternoon, the fade had arrived without being summoned.

"I've got a new Bunny Berigan," Emerson Winslow said.

"That's good."

"Want to come hear it? This afternoon?"

He had detained me after the bell rang, and Miss Walker had dismissed cla.s.ses for the day, the other students headed for freedom, creating the usual daily traffic jam at the door. I had avoided him for three days. When I didn't answer, he asked: "Are you going to continue writing stories?"

"I don't know," I said, arranging my books in a pile on the desk. "Sometime, maybe. Not now." Picked up my books and turned away, still not looking at him. "Hey, look, I've got to go. See you around sometime." Hoping he didn't hear the tremor in my voice.

"Oh," he said.

I had never heard such an oh. oh. An elegant syllable that seemed to go on forever, echoing in the cla.s.sroom like a soft chime, the room quiet now after the scampering departure of the students. The word continued to echo in my mind, imbued with a meaning beyond its brevity. Such a finality in the word. As I regarded Emerson Winslow standing in the splash of light from the window, that smile on his face, the slightly quizzical look in his eye, I knew I was saying goodbye to him and that shining house on the North Side and that I had lost Page Winslow forever. But then, she had never been mine, only Emerson's. An elegant syllable that seemed to go on forever, echoing in the cla.s.sroom like a soft chime, the room quiet now after the scampering departure of the students. The word continued to echo in my mind, imbued with a meaning beyond its brevity. Such a finality in the word. As I regarded Emerson Winslow standing in the splash of light from the window, that smile on his face, the slightly quizzical look in his eye, I knew I was saying goodbye to him and that shining house on the North Side and that I had lost Page Winslow forever. But then, she had never been mine, only Emerson's.

Never had the streets of Frenchtown been as barren and bleak, the three-deckers plain and ugly, the trees stark, bereft of leaves as November brought biting winds and pelting rain.

The strike showed no sign of ending: at the supper table one night, my father announced that the negotiations had broken down.

"There's a rumor the company's bringing in scabs."

Yvonne made a face. "Scabs?"

"It's somebody the owners hire to cross the picket lines and work in the shop. Strikebreakers. Usually men from out of town."

"It could mean fighting, right, Dad?" Armand asked, excited. "Uncle Victor says we can't let scabs cross the lines. If they do, they'll take your jobs and the strike will fail...."

"I'm glad we've got an expert in the house," my father said sarcastically. "It saves me a lot of talking. ..."

Armand concentrated on his food and so did the rest of the family. I looked up once and saw my father and mother exchange troubled glances. If it was difficult for me to accept my father as a striker carrying a picket sign, it was impossible for me to picture him in a fight.

I wrote no more stories that year. Paid attention in cla.s.s, did my homework faithfully, pa.s.sed all my tests, and made the Second Honor Roll for the first semester. I stopped going to meetings of the Eugene O'Neill Drama Club and n.o.body seemed to miss me. I was not chosen for the chorus of The Pirates of Penzance. The Pirates of Penzance.

So the days and evenings of that autumn pa.s.sed. School and the library. Books in which to escape the loneliness. During the first snow of November, I brought my father a thermos of hot soup as he stalked the picket lines, cheeks rouged with cold, hands enclosed in the woolen gloves my mother knitted.

"When will it end, Dad?" I asked, stamping my feet against the cold.

He shivered as he slurped the steaming soup while I stood there watching him, in my own cold and loneliness.

The scabs are here.

These words spread quickly through Frenchtown on that frozen afternoon in December the way Paul Revere's cry must have echoed from Boston to Lexington almost two centuries before. I felt, in fact, like a twentieth-century Paul Revere as I raced through Frenchtown bursting with the news. Lexington and Concord lay only twenty miles to the east of Monument and our U.S. history cla.s.s at Silas B. had visited the "rude bridge that arched the flood" as a project in October. Streaking homeward that December day, I felt like a part of history in the making, eager to report what I had seen.

Three dump trucks had been waiting at the traffic lights at Main and Mechanic. The trucks were old and sagging and decrepit. Their astonishing cargo was men. Men who huddled together in the backs of the trucks exposed to the raw afternoon, caps pulled down over their eyes against the cold, bulky in their heavy jackets and mackinaws. The trucks belched blue exhaust, their engines idling while waiting for the light to change. I felt a wave of pity for the men. They looked old and battered and used up, like the trucks. How far had they come and how far were they going? Searching for clues, I saw Maine license plates on one of the trucks, the legend METRO SAND METRO SAND& GRAVEL, BANGOR, ME. GRAVEL, BANGOR, ME. on the door of another. on the door of another.

Two men stood beside me waiting for the yellow pedestrian light. They wore black overcoats with narrow velvet collars. I glanced at their white shirts and thin ties. Bankers, I thought, playing my old game of guessing the occupations of strangers.

"I see the importees have arrived," one of the men said. His face was not familiar but the voice might have been the voice of Emerson Winslow's father.

"Bound to happen sooner or later," the other answered, in a clipped Yankee tw.a.n.g.

Importees. Which I transferred immediately into scabs. scabs.

The light turned yellow, the truck engines gasped and groaned in antic.i.p.ation of the green light, and I dashed across the street, leaving the bankers behind, almost knocking over a woman pushing a baby carriage, in my eagerness to spread the news to Frenchtown.

But I had forgotten about Frenchtown's unique communication network. News of a fire at one of the shops, for instance, always reached the homes of the workers even before the whistles sounded or the fire trucks, with sirens howling, blazed down Mechanic Street. Now as I turned from Mechanic Street into the heart of Frenchtown, I felt excitement in the air. Men had gathered in front of the stores, women called to each other from piazza to piazza, store owners stood in their doorways, and everyone seemed to be talking at once.

Bounding up the stairs to our tenement, I encountered Armand, who had just filled the oil jug for the kitchen stove from the big barrel in the shed.

"Did you hear the news?" Armand asked as I paused to catch my breath. "The scabs are here."

"I know," I said. "I saw them downtown."

Armand's jaw dropped open in astonishment. "Come on inside. Dad and some of the men are there," he said.

In the warmth of the kitchen, I told my story in rapid sentences, my tongue running as fast as my legs had carried me home. I felt like an actor performing on a stage with all eyes on me.

"Maine license plates," my father said when my performance was finished. He shook his head and fell silent.

"Canucks," Mr. Lagniard declared, voice sharp with hatred. "Potato workers." He was a huge man with a gargantuan thirst, although he seldom missed a day's work. "Then what they said about Toubert is true...."

I sensed that my moment in the spotlight was over and sank down beside Armand on the floor. "Are they talking about Rudolphe Toubert?" I whispered to him.

He beckoned me into the bedroom and I followed, reluctantly leaving the scene of my triumph. As we sat on the edge of the bed, Armand said: "They say Rudolphe Toubert arranged for the scabs to come here. The factory owners went to him to supply the scabs and Rudolphe Toubert was only too glad to do it. They say he got so much money per head. Of all the double-crossers ..."

"He's worse than Hector Monard," I said, astounded at Rudolphe Toubert's treachery.

"They're both traitors. One is as bad as the other."

The voice of the men in the kitchen reached us in low murmurs.

"What happens now?" I asked Armand.

"We wait," he said. "The workers meet with the owners tomorrow night. A final meeting to straighten out the situation. Everybody hopes that the scabs won't have to be used...."

"But why bring them here all the way from Maine?"

"A show of force," Armand explained. "The owners want to show that they mean business. It's like holding a gun to our heads. Ready to be used if the meeting fails."

At the supper table that night, my father said: "Let me tell you about the scabs." And we all fell quiet.

"They're people like us. Men like me and all the other workers. Times are bad in Maine too. Maybe worse, because farm workers have to depend on the weather as well as work conditions. Us, we don't have to worry about the weather, at least. When the strike is settled, we'll have our jobs. Rain or shine."

"Would you go to Maine as a scab?" Armand asked.

"You can't judge another man until you lace on his shoes," my father said.

"But you'd never become a scab, would you?" Armand insisted.

"These are hard times, Armand," my father replied, his voice surprisingly tender. "n.o.body's a bad guy. We're all trying to earn a living and support our families. ..."

The meeting began on Thursday evening at 7:00 P.M. P.M. and continued throughout the night and into the following morning when the negotiators adjourned for three hours and then resumed their talks at noontime. and continued throughout the night and into the following morning when the negotiators adjourned for three hours and then resumed their talks at noontime.

The meeting gave rise to optimism in Frenchtown. For weeks, the strikers had walked up and down in front of the shop without results. Although the arrival of the scabs was threatening, the meeting was the first sign that the owners were willing to sit down and talk with the workers. Thus, despite the presence of the scabs in Monument, enthusiasm filled the air as the meeting began.

The weather seemed an omen of good things about to happen. The December temperatures rose above normal and sunshine melted the early frosts and dissipated the remains of the first snowfalls. The frozen ground softened and in some places turned to mud-to a boy in Frenchtown, mud signified spring and now a kind of false spring seemed to have arrived.

As families joined the workers in the shopyard while the talks went on, a carnival atmosphere prevailed. The fires were lit in the barrels not so much for protection from the cold but as symbols of hope and devotion, much as candles burned in St. Jude's Church like prayers made visible.

My mother bundled up my baby sister, Rose, and took Yvonne and Yvette to the shop yard, where Bernard and I kept watch with the others. Armand hung around the platform near the shop entrance with the strikers. As the favorite of my uncle Victor, who was inside as one of the negotiators, Armand was treated with a measure of respect by the workers. He made himself useful running errands, carrying messages, and had already adopted the mannerisms of the workers, laughing quickly at the jokes, knowing when to sit still and be silent.

A hush fell on the crowd and all eyes were drawn to the platform as the door opened and my uncle Victor stepped out, followed by two or three others. No one moved, even the babies were quiet.

My uncle Victor raised his arms.

"We're taking a break," he said.

A moan of disappointment from the crowd.

"Go home," he called, raising his voice. "The talks will go on all night. You'll need your rest for what's coming if we fail."

His words cast a pall over the yard, obliterating the pleasant atmosphere that had prevailed earlier.

My mother gestured to me, and I rounded up Bernard. When I told Armand it was time to go home, my father said: "That's all right, Paul. He can stay...." Armand beamed.

Most of the workers remained in the yard, in small groups huddled together as the night turned cold, the flames in the barrels flickering low. A sharp wind nipped at our cheeks as we made our way homeward. I envied Armand, who had stayed behind. He belonged to something, at least. Had a sense of his destiny, even though that destiny was nothing I wanted.

The talks entered their second day. At school, I flunked a test: Math, my worst subject. In my homeroom I found that Emerson Winslow had changed his seat. He no longer sat beside me. That chair and desk was now occupied by a red-haired boy with a noisy sniffle and a runny nose. Glancing around surrept.i.tiously, I saw that Emerson Winslow had taken a place near the window, five rows away. The red-haired boy, whose name I did not know and did not care to find out, wiped his nose with the sleeve of his plaid shirt.

When I got home from school, my mother said that the talks were still going on. My father had returned to take a bath and gulp a quick snack and then had gone back to the vigil.

A noise, a whisper of sound, woke me, and I opened my eyes to the darkness of the bedroom, the sleep instantly gone from my body. The bedsprings creaked as I raised myself to look past Bernard, who always slept curled up like a snail. I saw Armand's dim figure beside the bed, hastily drawing on his clothes.

Propping myself up on an elbow, I whispered: "What's going on?"

He pressed a finger against his lips as he shrugged into a sweater. Then circled the bed, on tiptoe, in a half crouch.

"I'm going to the shop," he said on his knees beside me. "I heard the talk earlier. The scabs, they're going to try to get into the shop just before the sun comes up."

"I'm going with you," I said, although I hated to leave that warm, safe bed.

"Hurry up," he urged. "It's almost five o'clock...."

We stumbled out of the house and down the stairs into the strange stillness of early morning, the sky eggsh.e.l.l white on the horizon and dark above.