Everywhere In Jianghu Is Wonderful Chapter 18

Edited by elliot and luca!

t.i.tle change: "wonderful" is changed to "bizarre" because 奇葩 (qipa) means weird, outlandish. Tag will remain the same though!

[Chapter 18 - The stirring up of snakes] What happened!

Because Qin Shao Yu was really too fierce, Shen Qian Ling could only watch his own fans flee; even the beef and Shaoxing yellow wine were brought by the waiter with his head bowed low, fearing that he would be jabbed blind with just a mere look.

Violent people sure are scary... Shen Qian Ling pouted, then bent his head and ate his noodles noisily.

"Eat less." Qin Shao Yu fished away a big portion of his noodles with his chopsticks.

Shen Qian Ling protested, "Why didn't you get a bowl for yourself?"

"We still have to rush." Qin Shao Yu said, "If you eat too much you will want to vomit again."

Shen Qian Ling: ".........."

Don’t make me sound so weak-willed.

"There's pastries in the carriage, you can eat them whenever you're hungry." Qin Shao Yu picked up another chopstick full of pickled radish, completely unperturbed.

Shen Qian Ling stuck up his middle finger in his heart. Clearly, Qin Shao Yu himself wanted to eat noodles. After saying one should eat less and using that as an excuse to eat his noodles — truly, what a hypocrite!

Halfway through the meal, the sun outside started turning bright, and the room was also a bit hot and stuffy. Sweat beaded on Shen Qian Ling's forehead. Upon seeing this, the waiter immediately sent up a plate of iced Chinese white pears, and said with an air of awareness: "This is specially given to sect leader Qin, it has nothing to do with young master Shen."

Qin Shao Yu: "........."

Shen Qian Ling restrained his laughter, drinking soup with his head lowered, his shoulders shaking.

Qin Shao Yu calmly crushed a cup in his hands.

The waiter scampered off like lightning.

"How long will we be on the road?" Shen Qian Ling changed the topic.

"Don't know." Qin Shao Yu's expression was dark.

Don't be so petty. Shen Qian Ling used his eyes to protest.

It's such a waste that you tall and handsome; why don't you have a semblance of magnanimity?

After finishing the meal, Qin Shao Yu went down to prepare first. Shen Qian Ling took the chance when no one was looking to secretly give some more money to the boss as consolation.

"Many thanks, mister." The boss was instantly overwhelmed, and stammered, "I, I wonder if this young master is willing to leave behind a treasured scroll?"

"Eh?" Shen Qian Ling felt awkward. He did know how to write calligraphy, but no matter what, there would be some differences between his writing and the previous Shen Qian Ling's; what if he was exposed?

"Just a character will do." Before waiting for him to reply, the boss had already happily carried over the calligraphy tools.

Shen Qian Ling: ".........."

The boss looked at him especially fervently.

An old uncle fan who was acting cute with big eyes really made it so one couldn’t bear to reject him, thus after deliberating, Shen Qian Ling still picked up the brush, drawing a peony with a flourish — this was a new skill that he learned for shooting movies; he only knew how to draw this one flower. But it was still enough, the so-called "With a special skill, one can find work anywhere."

The boss became teary-eyed, feeling that he was almost suffocating.

"What are you still doing here?" Qin Shao Yu suddenly appeared like an apparition behind him.

Shen Qian Ling flinched in shock, almost throwing down the brush in his hand.

And the boss' reaction was even more straightforward, sliding under the table with a ‘woosh.’

Shen Qian Ling: "........."

"If you still do this next time, you'll see how I will sort you out." Qin Shao Yu pinched his cheeks.

I clearly didn't do anything. Shen Qian Ling was astonished. What was he implying with these words, as if he had been caught having an affair in bed! There must be a reason for this jealousy! Moreover, even if I have an affair it wouldn't be with this mustached uncle.

His taste couldn’t be that hardcore.

But Qin Shao Yu didn't give him time to explain, grabbing him by the waist and jumping down from the balcony.

Shen Qian Ling was extremely bitter — there was clearly a thing called stairs in this world, jumping around here and there, you are not a kangaroo either.

"Boss." After the worker stood at the window and saw the caravan leave, only then did he run back to the table. "Mister Shen and the others have already left."

"Is that so?" The boss made his way out from underneath the table, picking up the peony painting on the table carefully, being so emotional that his mustache flew up.

This matter was completely worthy of being shown off.

And so on that afternoon, the entire town all knew that the young master of the Shen family ate a meal at w.a.n.g Ji restaurant, and even left a treasured scroll. But the essence of gossip couldn’t be created with just these two incidents, and so everyone embellished the boss' accounts of events, filling the gaps with their own a.s.sumptions, successfully turning this matter into a moving love story. Boss w.a.n.g with the unkempt mustache took on a new lease of life, and turned into a handsome and confident rich third party; mister Shen was instead a pure white lotus who hadn’t gone beyond the mud; as for sect leader Qin, he was described as a war G.o.d who spat flames all over in the name of love. Even more deranged people imagined a big scene of "Just how did he teach him a lesson, after sect leader Qin brought mister Shen back to the carriage," and even generously wrote it into a short novel for everyone to appreciate. It was very alluring, and in the days to come, because this story was spread from Luo Xia town to everywhere, it was considered to be an important event in the life of the national couple this year.

Of course, Shen Qian Ling didn’t know about these matters, so he still stayed in the horse carriage for most of the time everyday, reading and napping.

"Sect leader." The black-clothed man caught up to Qin Shao Yu. "With more time, the whole world will know that for mister Shen, you did not at all hesitate in fighting for his affections with a restaurant boss."

Qin Shao Yu's eyebrow lifted. "What about Feng Jiu Ye?"

"The demonic sect is located at Seven Moon Summit. For rumors and slanders to reach there, I'm afraid it wouldn’t be this fast." The black-clothed man said, "There is no lack of disciples of the demonic sect in disguise in the martial arts world, so it shouldn't be too long until Feng Jiu Ye realises that after mister Shen lost his memories, he became abnormally affectionate with sect leader."

Qin Shao Yu smiled and didn't say anything further.

Shen Qian Ling poked his head out from the window. "Stop the carriage, stop the carriage."

"What's the matter?" Qin Shao Yu bent down and asked.

"Someone has three urgencies.(1)" Shen Qian Ling was very solemn. Pee couldn’t be held in.

Qin Shao Yu couldn’t help but laugh, and let the driver stop the carriage.

"You're not allowed to follow." Shen Qian Ling ran towards the forest.

"I'm also urgent." Qin Shao Yu shamelessly followed him.

..........

Shen Qian Ling glared at him. What was there to follow for this kind of thing? They weren’t women anyway, who have to team up to go to the washrooms.

But sect leader Qin was unperturbed, obviously having no intention to leave. Shen Qian Ling could only face him and untie his waistband, but before he could create a suitable mood, Qin Shao Yu rushed over and suddenly grabbed him on the waist, jumped up a tree with a few steps, and landed in a clearing.

The speed was as fast as lightning; there was no pause in the middle whatsoever.

"Ah!" Shen Qian Ling shouted in shock and clumsily bent down to pull up his pants since the wind was making his b.u.t.t cold.

"Pfft." Qin Shao Yu very casually ran his gaze across, then laughed aggravatingly, "Cute."

"You jerk!" Shen Qian Ling's face turned red, and sent a fist over after pulling up his pants.

"It was for your own good." Qin Shao Yu caught his fist with one hand. "There was a snake above your head just now."

"Who are you fooling?" Shen Qian Ling kicked him. "Does your family's snake come out during March?" It had been very cold recently, and only got warmer today; how could it be so fast?

Qin Shao Yu frowned upon hearing this and felt that something was wrong too.

"Nothing to say?" Shen Qian Ling bellowed. "Hooligan."

Qin Shao Yu lifted his arm, and landed back on the tree just then.

A big greenish-grey snake really was on the treetop, and currently hissing at them.

"Ah!" Shen Qian Ling familiarly ran into Qin Shao Yu's arms. "Let's quickly leave." It was actually true.

"Don't be scared." Qin Shao Yu patted his back and picked up a branch to poke at the snake's head.

The big snake weakly swayed around, looking somewhat listless.

"It shouldn't be the time for them to wake up." Qin Shao Yu said.

Shen Qian Ling shrieked, "There's more behind!"

Qin Shao Yu turned around, and saw there were three, four snakes slithering on the ground, but their movements were extremely slow — it was obvious that they hadn’t completely come out of hibernation yet.

"Let's leave already." Shen Qian Ling grabbed onto his clothes and shook him; was he planning to stay here until the New Year?

QIn Shao Yu carried him and leapt forward, returning to the caravan while avoiding the snakes.

"Sect leader." Seeing that the expression of the two of them seemed off, the subordinates all gathered around them.

"Is there any weird activity nearby?" Qin Shao Yu asked.

"No." The black-clothed man shook his head. "Our men are everywhere, so if there were any anomalies, there would definitely be a signal."

No anomalies? Then what's with those snakes? Qin Shao Yu frowned, "Send someone to ask the nearby villages if there's any news of a large number of snakes appearing."

"Yes." The black-clothed man acknowledged the order and left. Shen Qian Ling held onto Qin Shao Yu, terrified. "I will ride the horse with you." What if a snake climbed in from the window!

Thus at the next town they pa.s.sed by, everyone on the streets saw young master Shen and sect leader Qin being affectionate. With that sweet scene of riding a horse together, it was very easy for one to believe in love again.

"Want to sleep with me?" In the inn, Qin Shao Yu asked him, eyebrow raised.

Shen Qian Ling was torn between decisions. After thinking for three minutes, he still raised his head and said, "Yes."

"You had to consider for so long?" Qin Shao Yu was unhappy.

Of course I did. Actually there's not much difference in the terror levels between you and the snakes, Shen Qian Ling chattered inwardly to himself, and your only advantage is that you can communicate. It was the same feeling as "don't make any moves, or else," but it obviously had two different outcomes when said to humans and animals. So let's just sleep together.

And as a famous couple who stirred up the whole nation, the two of them, being very perceptive, didn't go down to eat, and got someone to send dinner into their room, in order to avoid being surrounded and stared at during the peak hours of eating.

After the cooking aunties heard about this, they couldn't bear but to sigh while cooking; were they not willing to be separated even during meals?

Young people nowadays, they really couldn’t stand them.

(1)A person has three urgencies: 人有三急: the three urgencies: peeing, defecating, and farting lol