Etiquette Part 27

To a servant: Mrs. Eminent wishes Patrick to meet her at the station on Tuesday the eighth at 11.03. She also wishes him to have the shutters opened and the house aired on that day, and a fire lighted in the northwest room. No provisions will be necessary as Mrs. Eminent is returning to town on the 5.16.

Tuesday, March 1.

Letters in the third person are no longer signed unless the sender's signature is necessary for identification, or for some action on the part of the receiver, such as Will Mr. Cash please give the bearer six yards of material to match the sample enclosed, and oblige, Mrs. John H. Smith.[A]

[Footnote A: A note in 3rd person is the single occasion when a married woman signs "Mrs." before her name.]

!THE LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION!

A letter of recommendation for membership to a club is addressed to the secretary and should be somewhat in this form: To the Secretary of the Town Club.

My dear Mrs. Brown: Mrs. t.i.therington Smith, whose name is posted for membership, is a very old and close friend of mine. She is the daughter of the late Rev. Samuel Eminent and is therefore a member in her own right, as well as by marriage, of representative New York families.

She is a person of much charm and distinction, and her many friends will agree with me, I am sure, in thinking that she would be a valuable addition to the club.

Very sincerely, Ethel Norman.

!RECOMMENDATION OF EMPLOYEES!

Although the written recommendation that is given to the employee carries very little weight, compared to the slip from the employment agencies where either "yes" or "no" has to be answered to a list of specific and important questions, one is nevertheless put in a trying position when reporting on an unsatisfactory servant.

Either a poor reference must be given--possibly preventing a servant from earning her living--or one has to write what is not true. Consequently it has become the custom to say what one truthfully can of good, and leave out the qualifications that are bad (except in the case of a careless nurse, where evasion would border on the criminal).

That solves the poor recommendation problem pretty well; but unless one is very careful this consideration for the "poor" one, is paid for by the "good." In writing for a very worthy servant therefore, it is of the utmost importance in fairness to her (or him) to put in every merit that you can think of, remembering that omission implies demerit in each trait of character not mentioned. All good references should include honesty, sobriety, capability, and a reason, other than their unsatisfactoriness, for their leaving. The recommendation for a nurse can not be too conscientiously written.

A lady does not begin a recommendation: "To whom it may concern," nor "This is to certify," although housekeepers and head servants writing recommendations use both of these forms, and "third person" letters, are frequently written by secretaries.

A lady in giving a good reference should write: Two Hundred Park Square.

Selma Johnson has lived with me for two years as cook.

I have found her honest, sober, industrious, neat in her person as well as her work, of amiable disposition and a very good cook.

She is leaving to my great regret because I am closing my house for the winter.

Selma is an excellent servant in every way and I shall be glad to answer personally any inquiries about her.

Josephine Smith. (Mrs. t.i.therington Smith) October, 1921.

The form of all recommendations is the same: ---- has lived with me ---- months years as ----. I have found him/ her ----. He/She is leaving because ----.

(Any special remark of added recommendation or showing interest) ---- (Mrs. ----) Date.

!LETTERS OF CONGRATULATION!

!LETTER OF CONGRATULATION ON ENGAGEMENT!

Dear Mary: While we are not altogether surprized, we are both delighted to hear the good news. Jim's family and ours are very close, as you know, and we have always been especially devoted to Jim. He is one of the finest--and now luckiest, of young men, and we send you both every good wish for all possible happiness.

Affectionately, Ethel Norman.

Just a line, dear Jim, to tell you how glad we all are to hear of your happiness. Mary is everything that is lovely and, of course, from our point of view, we don't think her exactly unfortunate either! Every good wish that imagination can think of goes to you from your old friends.

Ethel and Arthur Norman.

I can't tell you, dearest Mary, of all the wishes I send for your happiness. Give Jim my love and tell him how lucky I think he is, and how much I hope all good fortune will come to you both.

Lovingly, Aunt Kate.

!CONGRATULATION ON SOME ESPECIAL SUCCESS!

My dear Mrs. Brown: We have just heard of the honors that your son has won. How proud you must be of him! We are both so glad for him and for you. Please congratulate him for us, and believe me, Very sincerely, Ethel Norman.

Or: Dear Mrs. Brown: We are so glad to hear the good news of David's success; it was a very splendid accomplishment and we are all so proud of him and of you. Please give him our love and congratulations, and with full measure of both to you, Affectionately, Martha Kindhart.

!CONGRATULATING A FRIEND APPOINTED TO HIGH OFFICE!

Dear John: We are overjoyed at the good news! For once the reward has fallen where it is deserved. Certainly no one is better fitted than yourself for a diplomat's life, and we know you will fill the position to the honor of your country. Please give my love to Alice, and with renewed congratulations to you from us both.

Yours always, Ethel Norman.

Another example: Dear Michael: We all rejoice with you in the confirmation of your appointment. The State needs just such men as you--if we had more of your sort the ordinary citizen would have less to worry about. Our best congratulations!

John Kindhart.

!THE LETTER OF CONDOLENCE!

Intimate letters of condolence are like love letters, in that they are too sacred to follow a set form. One rule, and one only, should guide you in writing such letters. Say what you truly feel. Say that and nothing else. Sit down at your desk, let your thoughts dwell on the person you are writing to.

Don't dwell on the details of illness or the manner of death; don't quote endlessly from the poets and Scriptures. Remember that eyes filmed with tears and an aching heart can not follow rhetorical lengths of writing. The more nearly a note can express a hand-clasp, a thought of sympathy, above all, a genuine love or appreciation of the one who has gone, the greater comfort it brings.

Write as simply as possible and let your heart speak as truly and as briefly as you can. Forget, if you can, that you are using written words, think merely how you feel--then put your feelings on paper--that is all.

Supposing it is a young mother who has died. You think how young and sweet she was--and of her little children, and, literally, your heart aches for them and her husband and her own family. Into your thoughts must come some expression of what she was, and what their loss must be!

Or maybe it is the death of a man who has left a place in the whole community that will be difficult, if not impossible, to fill, and you think of all he stood for that was fine and helpful to others, and how much and sorely he will be missed. Or suppose that you are a returned soldier, and it is a pal who has died. All you can think of is "Poor old Steve--what a peach he was! I don't think anything will ever be the same again without him." Say just that! Ask if there is anything you can do at any time to be of service to his people. There is nothing more to be said. A line, into which you have unconsciously put a little of the genuine feeling that you had for Steve, is worth pages of eloquence.

A letter of condolence may be abrupt, badly constructed, ungrammatical--never mind. Grace of expression counts for nothing; sincerity alone is of value. It is the expression, however clumsily put, of a personal something which was loved, and will ever be missed, that alone brings solace to those who are left. Your message may speak merely of a small incident--something so trifling that in the seriousness of the present, seems not worth recording; but your letter and that of many others, each bringing a single sprig, may plant a whole memory-garden in the hearts of the bereaved.

!EXAMPLES OF NOTES AND TELEGRAMS!

As has been said above, a letter of condolence must above everything express a genuine sentiment. The few examples are inserted merely as suggestive guides for those at a loss to construct a short but appropriate note or telegram.

Conventional Note to an Acquaintance I know how little the words of an outsider mean to you just now--but I must tell you how deeply I sympathize with you in your great loss.

Note or Telegram to a Friend All my sympathy and all my thoughts are with you in your great sorrow. If I can be of any service to you, you know how grateful I shall be.

Telegram to a Very Near Relative or Friend Words are so empty! If only I knew how to fill them with love and send them to you.

Or: If love and thoughts could only help you, Margaret dear, you should have all the strength of both that I can give.

Letter Where Death Was Release The letter to one whose loss is "for the best" is difficult in that you want to express sympathy but can not feel sad that one who has long suffered has found release. The expression of sympathy in this case should not be for the present death, but for the illness, or whatever it was that fell long ago. The grief for a paralysed mother is for the stroke which cut her down many years before, and your sympathy, though you may not have realized it, is for that. You might write: Your sorrow during all these years--and now--is in my heart; and all my thoughts and sympathy are with you.

!HOW TO ADDRESS IMPORTANT PERSONAGES!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!! | If you | | Formal | are speaking, | | beginning of | you say: | Envelope addressed: | a letter: ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- The President | Mr. President | The President of the | Sir: | And occasionally | United States | | throughout a | or merely | | conversation, | The President, | | Sir. | Washington, D.C. | | | (There is only one | | | "President") | | | | | | | ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- The | Mr. Vice-President | The Vice-President, | Sir: Vice-President | and then, Sir. | Washington, D.C. | | | | ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- Justice of | Mr. Justice | The Hon. William H. Taft, | Sir: Supreme Court | | Chief Justice of the | | | Supreme Court, | | | Washington, D.C. | | | | | | | ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- Member of the | Mr. Secretary | The Secretary of Commerce, | Dear Sir: President's | | Washington, D.C. or: | or Cabinet | | The Hon. Herbert Hoover, | Sir: | | Secretary of Commerce, | | | Washington, D.C. | ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- United States | Senator Lodge | Senator Henry Cabot Lodge, | Dear Sir: (or State) | | Washington, D.C. | or Senator | | or a private letter: | Sir: | | Senator Henry Cabot Lodge, | | | (His house address) | | | | ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- Member of | Mr. Bell | The Hon. H.C. Bell, Jr., | Dear Sir: Congress (or | or, you may say | House of Representatives, | or Legislature) | Congressman | Washington, D.C. | Sir: | | or: State a.s.sembly, | | | Albany, New York. | ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- Governor | Governor Miller | His Excellency, The | | (The Governor is | Governor, | Your | not called | Albany, New York. | Excellency: | Excellency when | | | spoken to and very | | | rarely when he is | | | announced. But | | | letters are | | | addressed and begun | | | with this t.i.tle | | | of courtesy.) | | ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- Mayor | Mr. Mayor | His Honor the Mayor, | Dear Sir: | | City Hall, Chicago. | or | | | Sir: ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- Cardinal | Your Eminence | His Eminence John Cardinal | Your | | Gibbons, Baltimore, Md. | Eminence: | | | | | | !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(section 2) +!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | | | | | Informal | | | Correct t.i.tles in | beginning: | Formal Close: | Informal close: | introduction: |--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | My dear Mr. | I have the honor to | | | President: | remain, | I have the honor to | | | Most respectfully | remain, | | | yours, | Yours faithfully, | | | or | or | The President. | | I have the honor to | I am, dear | | | remain, sir, | Mr. President, | | | Your most obedient | Yours faithfully. | | | servant. | | +--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | My dear | Same as for | Believe me, | The | Mr. Vice | President. | Yours faithfully. | Vice-President. | President: | | | +--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | Dear Mr. | Believe me, | | The Chief Justice | Justice | Yours very truly, | | or, | Taft: | or | Believe me, | if an | | I have the honor to | Yours faithfully. | a.s.sociate Justice, | | remain, | | Mr. Justice | | Yours very truly. | | Holmes. +--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | My dear Mr. | | | The Secretary | Secretary: | Same as above. | Same as above. | of Commerce. | | | | | | | | | | | | +--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | Dear Senator | | | Senator Lodge. | Lodge: | | | On very formal | | Same as above. | Same as above. | and unusual | | | | occasions, | | | | Senator Lodge of | | | | Ma.s.sachusetts. +--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | Dear | | | Mr. Bell. | Mr. Bell: | Believe me, | | | or | Yours very truly. | Yours faithfully. | | Dear | | | | Congressman: | | | +--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | Dear | | | The Governor | Governor | I have the honor to | Believe me, |(in his own state) | Miller: | remain, | Yours faithfully. | or, (out of it,) | | Yours faithfully. | | The Governor of | | | | Michigan. | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | +--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | Dear Mayor | Believe me, | Yours faithfully. | Mayor Rolph. | Rolph: | Very truly yours. | | | | | | +--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | Your | I have the honor to | | | Eminence: | remain, | Your Eminence's | His Eminence. | | Your Eminence's | humble servant. | | | humble servant. | | +!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!HOW TO ADDRESS IMPORTANT PERSONAGES!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | | | | If you are | Envelope | Formal beginning | speaking, you say: | addressed: | of a letter ---------------+----------------------+-----------------------+----------------- Roman Catholic | Your Grace | The Most Reverend | Most Reverend Archbishop | | Michael Corrigan, | and dear Sir: (There is no | | Archbishop of | Protestant | | New York. | Archbishop in | | | the United | | | States) | | | ---------------+----------------------+-----------------------+----------------- Bishop | Bishop Manning | To the Right Reverend | Most Reverend (Whether Roman | | William T. Manning, | and dear Sir: Catholic or | | Bishop of New York. | Protestant.) | | | | | | ---------------+----------------------+-----------------------+----------------- Priest | Father or | The Rev. | Reverend | Father Duffy | Michael Duffy. | and dear Sir: ---------------+----------------------+-----------------------+----------------- Protestant | Mr. Saintly | The Rev. Geo. | Sir: Clergyman | (If he is D.D. or | Saintly. (If you do | or | LL.D., you call him | not know his first | My dear Sir: | Dr. Saintly.) | name, write The | | | Rev. ... Saintly. | | | rather than the | | | Rev. Mr. Saintly) | ---------------+----------------------+-----------------------+----------------- Rabbi | Rabbi Wise | Dr. Stephen Wise, | Dear Sir: | (If he is D.D. or | or Rabbi Stephen | | LL.D., he is called | Wise, or Rev. | | Dr. Wise) | Stephen Wise. | ---------------+----------------------+-----------------------+----------------- Amba.s.sador | Your Excellency | His Excellency | Your | or | The American | Excellency: | Mr. Amba.s.sador | Amba.s.sador,[B] | | | American Emba.s.sy, | | | London. | | | | | | | | | | ---------------+----------------------+-----------------------+----------------- Minister | In English he is | The Hon. J.D. | Sir: is Pleni- | usually called "Mr. | Prince, American | correct but, potentiary | Prince," though it | Legation, | Your | is not incorrect to | Copenhagen, or | Excellency: | call him "Mr. | (more courteously) | is sometimes | Minister." The | His Excellency, The | used in | t.i.tle "Excellency" | American Minister, | courtesy. | is also occasionally | Copenhagen, Denmark | | used in courtesy, | | | though it does not | | | belong to him. | | | In French he is | | | always called | | | Monsieur le | | | Ministre | | ---------------+----------------------+-----------------------+----------------- Consul | Mr. Smith | If he has held office | Sir: | | as a.s.semblyman or | or | | commissioner, so that | My dear Sir: | | he has the right to | | | the t.i.tle of | | | "Honorable" is | | | addressed: | | | The Hon. John Smith, | | | otherwise: | | | John Smith, Esq., | | | American Consul, | | | Rue Quelque Chose, | | | Paris. | !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(section 2) +!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | | | | Correct | Informal | | Informal | t.i.tles in | beginning: | Formal close: | close: | introduction: +-------------------+-------------------------+----------------+---------------- | Most Reverend | I have the honor | Same as formal | The Most | and Dear Sir: | to remain, | close. | Reverend The | | Your humble servant, | | Archbishop. | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | +-------------------+-------------------------+----------------+---------------- | My Dear Bishop | I have the honor to | Faithfully | Bishop | Manning: | remain, Your obedient | yours. | Manning. | | servant, or, to | | | | remain, | | | | Respectfully yours, | | +-------------------+-------------------------+----------------+---------------- | Dear Father | I beg to remain, | Faithfully | Father | Duffy: | Yours faithfully, | yours. | Duffy. |-------------------+-------------------------+----------------+---------------- | Dear Dr. Saintly: | Same as above, | Faithfully | Dr. (or Mr.) | (or Dear Mr. | | yours, or | Saintly | Saintly if he is | | Sincerely | | not a D.D.) | | yours, | | | | | | | | | | | | | +-------------------+-------------------------+----------------+---------------- | Dear Dr. Wise: | I beg to remain, | Yours | Rabbi Wise. | | Yours sincerely, | sincerely, | | | | | | | | | +-------------------+-------------------------+----------------+---------------- | Dear Mr. | I have the honor to | Yours | The | Amba.s.sador: | remain, Yours | faithfully, | American | | faithfully, or, Yours | | Amba.s.sador. | | very truly, or, Yours | | | | respectfully. or very | | | | formally: I have the | | | | honor to remain, sir, | | | | your obedient servant. | | +-------------------+-------------------------+----------------+---------------- | Dear Mr. | Same as above. | Yours | Mr. Prince, | Minister: | | faithfully, | the American | or Dear | | | Minister, or | Mr. Prince: | | | merely, The | | | | American | | | | Minister as | | | | everyone is | | | | supposed to | | | | know his name | | | | or find it | | | | out. | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | +-------------------+-------------------------+----------------+---------------- | Dear Mr. Smith: | I beg to remain, | Faithfully, | Mr. Smith | | Yours very truly. | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | +!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Footnote B: Although our Amba.s.sadors and Ministers represent the United States of America, it is customary both in Europe and Asia to omit the words United States and write to and speak of the American Emba.s.sy and Legation. In addressing a letter to one of our representatives in countries of the Western Hemisphere, "The United States of America" is always specified by way of courtesy to the Americans of South America.]

Foreign persons of t.i.tle are not included in the foregoing diagram because an American (unless in the Diplomatic Service) would be unlikely to address any but personal friends, to whom he would write as to any others. An envelope would be addressed in the language of the person written to: "His Grace, the Duke of Overthere (or merely The Duke of Overthere), Hyde Park, London"; "Mme. la Princess d'Acacia, Ave. du Bois, Paris"; "Il Principe di Capri, Cusano sul Seveso"; "Lady Alwin, Cragmere, Scotland," etc. The letter would begin, Dear Duke of Overthere (or Dear Duke), Dear Princess, Dear Countess Aix, Dear Lady Alwin, Dear Sir Hubert, etc., and close, "Sincerely," "Faithfully," or "Affectionately," as the case might be.

Should an American have occasion to write to Royalty he would begin: "Madam" (or Sir), and end: "I have the honor to remain, madam (or Sir), your most obedient." ("Your most obedient servant" is a signature reserved usually for our own President--or Vice-President.)

CHAPTER XXVIII.

LONGER LETTERS.

The art of general letter-writing in the present day is shrinking until the letter threatens to become a telegram, a telephone message, a post-card. Since the events of the day are transmitted in newspapers with far greater accuracy, detail, and dispatch than they could be by the single effort of even Voltaire himself, the circulation of general news, which formed the chief reason for letters of the stage-coach and sailing-vessel days, has no part in the correspondence of to-day.

Taking the contents of an average mail bag as sorted in a United States post-office, about fifty per cent. is probably advertis.e.m.e.nt or appeal, forty per cent. business, and scarcely ten per cent. personal letters and invitations. Of course, love letters are probably as numerous as need be, though the long distance telephone must have lowered the average of these, too. Young girls write to each other, no doubt, much as they did in olden times, and letters between young girls and young men flourish to-day like unpulled weeds in a garden where weeds were formerly never allowed to grow.

It is the letter from the friend in this city to the friend in that, or from the traveling relative to the relative at home, that is gradually dwindling. As for the letter which younger relatives dutifully used to write--it has gone already with old-fashioned grace of speech and deportment.

Still, people do write letters in this day and there are some who possess the divinely flexible gift for a fresh turn of phrase, for delightful keenness of observation. It may be, too, that in other days the average writing was no better than the average of to-day. It is naturally the letters of those who had unusual gifts which have been preserved all these years, for the failures of a generation are made to die with it, and only its successes survive.

The difference though, between letter-writers of the past and of the present, is that in other days they all tried to write, and to express themselves the very best they knew how--to-day people don't care a bit whether they write well or ill. Mental effort is one thing that the younger generation of the "smart world" seems to consider it unreasonable to ask--and just as it is the fashion to let their spines droop until they suggest nothing so much as Tenniel's drawing in Alice in Wonderland of the caterpillar sitting on the toad-stool--so do they let their mental faculties relax, slump and atrophy.

To such as these, to whom effort is an insurmountable task, it might be just as well to say frankly: If you have a mind that is entirely bromidic, if you are lacking in humor, all power of observation, and facility for expression, you had best join the ever-growing cla.s.s of people who frankly confess, "I can't write letters to save my life!" and confine your literary efforts to picture post-cards with the engaging captions "X is my room," or "Beautiful weather, wish you were here."

It is not at all certain that your friends and family would not rather have frequent post-cards than occasional letters all too obviously displaying the meagerness of their messages in halting orthography.

!BEGINNING A LETTER!

For most people the difficulty in letter-writing is in the beginning and the close. Once they are started, the middle goes smoothly enough, until they face the difficulty of the end. The direction of the Professor of English to "Begin at the beginning of what you have to say, and go on until you have finished, and then stop," is very like a celebrated artist's direction for painting: "You simply take a little of the right color paint and put it on the right spot."

!HOW NOT TO BEGIN!

Even one who "loves the very sight of your handwriting," could not possibly find any pleasure in a letter beginning: "I have been meaning to write you for a long time but haven't had a minute to spare."

Or: "I suppose you have been thinking me very neglectful, but you know how I hate to write letters."

Or: "I know I ought to have answered your letter sooner, but I haven't had a thing to write about."

The above sentences are written time and again by persons who are utterly unconscious that they are not expressing a friendly or loving thought. If one of your friends were to walk into the room, and you were to receive him stretched out and yawning in an easy chair, no one would have to point out the rudeness of such behavior; yet countless kindly intentioned people begin their letters mentally reclining and yawning in just such a way.

!HOW TO BEGIN A LETTER!

Suppose you merely change the wording of the above sentences, so that instead of slamming the door in your friend's face, you hold it open: "Do you think I have forgotten you entirely? You don't know, dear Mary, how many letters I have written you in thought."

Or: "Time and time again I have wanted to write you but each moment that I saved for myself was always interrupted by something."

One of the frequent difficulties in beginning a letter is that your answer is so long delayed that you begin with an apology, which is always a lame duck. But these examples indicate a way in which even an opening apology may be attractive rather than repellent. If you are going to take the trouble to write a letter, you are doing it because you have at least remembered some one with friendly regard, or you would not be writing at all. You certainly would like to convey the impression that you want to be with your friend in thought for a little while at least--not that she through some malignant force is holding you to a grindstone and forcing you to the task of making hateful schoolroom pot-hooks for her selfish gain.

A perfect letter has always the effect of being a light dipping off of the top of a spring. A poor letter suggests digging into the dried ink at the bottom of an ink-well.

It is easy to begin a letter if it is in answer to one that has just been received. The news contained in it is fresh and the impulse to reply needs no prodding.

Nothing can be simpler than to say: "We were all overjoyed to hear from you this morning," or, "Your letter was the most welcome thing the postman has brought for ages," or, "It was more than good to have news of you this morning," or, "Your letter from Capri brought all the allure of Italy back to me," or, "You can't imagine, dear Mary, how glad I was to see an envelope with your writing this morning." And then you take up the various subjects in Mary's letter, which should certainly launch you without difficulty upon topics of your own.

!ENDING A LETTER!

Just as the beginning of a letter should give the reader an impression of greeting, so should the end express friendly or affectionate leave-taking. Nothing can be worse than to seem to scratch helplessly around in the air for an idea that will effect your escape.

"Well, I guess I must stop now," "Well, I must close," or, "You are probably bored with this long epistle, so I had better close."

All of these are as bad as they can be, and suggest the untutored man who stands first on one foot and then on the other, running his finger around the brim of his hat, or the country girl twisting the corner of her ap.r.o.n.

!HOW TO END A LETTER!

An intimate letter has no end at all. When you leave the house of a member of your family, you don't have to think up an especial sentence in order to say good-by.

Leave-taking in a letter is the same: "Good-by, dearest, for to-day. Devotedly, Kate."

Or: "Best love to you all, Martin."

Or: "Will write again in a day or two. Lovingly, Mary."

Or: "Luncheon was announced half a page ago! So good-by, dear Mary, for to-day."

The close of a less intimate letter, like taking leave of a visitor in your drawing-room, is necessarily more ceremonious. And the "ceremonious close" presents to most people the greatest difficulty in letter-writing.

It is really quite simple, if you realize that the aim of the closing paragraph is merely to bring in a personal hyphen between the person writing and the person written to.