Erdgeist (Earth-Spirit) Part 8

SCHWARZ. Please, just you keep still now!

LULU. It hits you some, too.

SCHWARZ. You really didn't need to say that to a man, in such a moment.

LULU. =Please ...!=

SCHWARZ. Do what you think necessary. I don't know how.

LULU. (Left of Goll.) He's looking at me.

SCHWARZ. (Right of Goll.) And at me, too.

LULU. You're a coward!

SCHWARZ. (Shuts Goll's eyes with his handkerchief.) It's the first time in my life that anyone has called me that.

LULU. Didn't you do it to your mother?

SCHWARZ. (Nervously.) No.

LULU. You were away, perhaps.

SCHWARZ. No!

LULU. Or else you were afraid?

SCHWARZ. (Violently.) No!

LULU. (Shivering, backward.) I didn't mean to insult you.

SCHWARZ. She's still alive.

LULU. Then you still have somebody.

SCHWARZ. She's as poor as a beggar.

LULU. I know what that is.

SCHWARZ. Don't laugh at me!

LULU. Now I am rich--

SCHWARZ. It gives me cold shudders-- (Goes right.) She can't help it!

LULU. (To herself.) What'll I do?

SCHWARZ. (To himself.) Absolutely depraved! (They look at each other mistrustfully. Schwarz goes over to her and grips her hand.) Look me in the eyes!

LULU. (Apprehensively.) What do you want?

SCHWARZ. (Takes her to the ottoman and makes her sit next to him.) Look me in the eyes.

LULU. I see myself in them as Pierrot.

SCHWARZ. (Shoves her from him.) Confounded dancer-ing!

LULU. I must change my clothes--

SCHWARZ. (Holds her back.) One question--

LULU. I can't answer it.

SCHWARZ. Can you speak the truth?

LULU. I don't know.

SCHWARZ. Do you believe in a Creator?

LULU. I don't know.

SCHWARZ. Can you swear on anything?

LULU. I don't know. Leave me alone. You're mad.

SCHWARZ. What do you believe in, then?

LULU. I don't know.

SCHWARZ. Have you no soul, then?

LULU. I don't know.

SCHWARZ. Have you ever once loved--?

LULU. I don't know.

SCHWARZ. (Gets up, goes right, to himself.) She doesn't know!

LULU. (Without moving.) I don't know.

SCHWARZ. (Glancing at Goll.) He knows.

LULU. (Nearer him.) What do you want to know?

SCHWARZ. (Angrily.) Go, get dressed! (Lulu goes into the bed-room. To Goll.) Would I could change with you, you dead man! I give her back to you. I give my youth to you, too. I lack the courage and the faith.

I've had to wait patiently too long. It's too late for me. I haven't grown up big enough for happiness. I have a h.e.l.lish fear of it. Wake up! I didn't touch her. He opens his mouth. Mouth open and eyes shut, like the children. With me it's the other way round. Wake up, wake up!

(Kneels down and binds his handkerchief round the dead man's head.) Here I beseech Heaven to make me =able= to be happy--to give me the strength and the freedom of soul to be just a weeny mite happy! For =her sake, only for her sake=. (Lulu comes out of the bed-room, completely dressed, her hat on, and her right hand under her left arm.)