Epicoene; Or, The Silent Woman Part 28

[ENTER MOROSE, WITH THE TWO SWORDS, DRAWN IN HIS HANDS.]

MRS. OTT: O me! madam, he comes again, the madman! Away!

[LADIES, DAW, AND LA-FOOLE, RUN OFF.]

MOR: What make these naked weapons here, gentlemen?

TRUE: O sir! here hath like to have been murder since you went; a couple of knights fallen out about the bride's favours! We were fain to take away their weapons; your house had been begg'd by this time else.

MOR: For what?

CLER: For manslaughter, sir, as being accessary.

MOR: And for her favours?

TRUE: Ay, sir, heretofore, not present--Clerimont, carry them their swords, now. They have done all the hurt they will do.

[EXIT CLER. WITH THE TWO SWORDS.]

DAUP: Have you spoke with the lawyer, sir?

MOR: O, no! there is such a noise in the court, that they have frighted me home with more violence then I went! such speaking and counter-speaking, with their several voices of citations, appellations, allegations, certificates, attachments, intergatories, references, convictions, and afflictions indeed, among the doctors and proctors, that the noise here is silence to't! a kind of calm midnight!

TRUE: Why, sir, if you would be resolved indeed, I can bring you hither a very sufficient lawyer, and a learned divine, that shall enquire into every least scruple for you.

MOR: Can you, master Truewit?

TRUE: Yes, and are very sober, grave persons, that will dispatch it in a chamber, with a whisper or two.

MOR: Good sir, shall I hope this benefit from you, and trust myself into your hands?

TRUE: Alas, sir! your nephew and I have been ashamed and oft-times mad, since you went, to think how you are abused. Go in, good sir, and lock yourself up till we call you; we'll tell you more anon, sir.

MOR: Do your pleasure with me gentlemen; I believe in you: and that deserves no delusion.

[EXIT.]

TRUE: You shall find none, sir: but heap'd, heap'd plenty of vexation.

DAUP: What wilt thou do now, Wit?

TRUE: Recover me hither Otter and the barber, if you can, by any means, presently.

DAUP: Why? to what purpose?

TRUE: O, I'll make the deepest divine, and gravest lawyer, out of them two for him--

DAUP: Thou canst not, man; these are waking dreams.

TRUE: Do not fear me. Clap but a civil gown with a welt on the one; and a canonical cloak with sleeves on the other: and give them a few terms in their mouths, if there come not forth as able a doctor, and complete a parson, for this turn, as may be wish'd, trust not my election: and, I hope, without wronging the dignity of either profession, since they are but persons put on, and for mirth's sake, to torment him. The barber smatters Latin, I remember.

DAUP: Yes, and Otter too.

TRUE: Well then, if I make them not wrangle out this case to his no comfort, let me be thought a Jack Daw or La-Foole or anything worse. Go you to your ladies, but first send for them.

DAUP: I will.

[EXEUNT.]

ACT 5.

SCENE 5.1.

A ROOM IN MOROSE'S HOUSE.

ENTER LA-FOOLE, CLERIMONT, AND DAW.

LA-F: Where had you our swords, master Clerimont?

CLER: Why, Dauphine took them from the madman.

LA-F: And he took them from our boys, I warrant you.

CLER: Very like, sir.

LA-F: Thank you, good master Clerimont. Sir John Daw and I are both beholden to you.

CLER: Would I knew how to make you so, gentlemen!

DAW: Sir Amorous and I are your servants, sir.

[ENTER MAVIS.]

MAV: Gentlemen, have any of you a pen and ink? I would fain write out a riddle in Italian, for sir Dauphine, to translate.

CLER: Not I, in troth lady; I am no scrivener.

DAW: I can furnish you, I think, lady.

[EXEUNT DAW AND MAVIS.]

CLER: He has it in the haft of a knife, I believe.

LA-F: No, he has his box of instruments.