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My stomach hurt so much I couldn't eat. I had picked at my sandwich so much that now I had a pile of breadcrumbs on the table. I blushed.
"It's nothing. Just had a fight with Mom this morning." I glanced over at Rick and Janna, their heads bent together in deep conversation. A few tables down Haley sat with Ian. It was raining so we couldn't stay in the quad.
Tanner leaned closer, and straddled the bench so he was facing me head on. I caught a whiff of his familiar musky scent and my heart quickened. "Wanna tell me about it? I've been told I'm a good listener." He winked.
I smiled the best I could.
"That was a weak smile," he said. "C'mon, I think you need to get this off your chest. Spill."
Leaning forward, I rested my chin in the palm of my hand. Our faces were mere inches apart.
"Mom said we weren't going to Grandma's for Christmas."
"I'm sorry," he said. "I know you were looking forward to that."
I snorted. "That's an understatement."
Disappointment flashed in Tanner's eyes, but he quickly recovered and flashed me a dimpled grin. "There are worse things in the world than having to stay here for the holidays."
"Not for me."
"I'll be here for Christmas. I know I'm not your precious Isaac, but I'm your friend, aren't I?"
Frustration surfaced. "It's not just because of Isaac, okay? I wanted to see my Grandma too." My lips quivered. Embarra.s.sed, I turned away.
Tanner reached out, touched my chin, and turned my face back to his. "I'm sorry. I was a jerk. You're clearly upset. I shouldn't have made it about me."
I stared into his eyes. He looked genuinely sorry. It made tears spring to my eyes. "It's just that things are so bad at home right now. I feel like I'm going crazy. I just wanted to get away from it all."
Tanner wrapped me in his arms. I allowed myself to be held, closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder. It felt so good that I didn't fight it. When I opened my eyes, I saw Haley watching me from her table. I quickly sat up, and pushed Tanner away.
Wiping a tear from my face with his thumb, he said, "I really wish you would trust me enough to tell me what's going on at home that makes you want to run away. Maybe if you told me, I could help you."
My mind traveled back to my conversation with Scarlet. "Yeah, I guess it's like you not trusting me enough to tell me why you and Scarlet broke up."
His hand dropped to his side, his jaw tensed. "That's different."
"Yoo-hoo. Love-birds?"
Startled, I looked up at Janna.
"Man, you guys were in a pretty intense moment there. Everything okay?" She raised her eyebrows, pursing her shiny pink lips.
I nodded, wishing I could disappear.
"Rick and I are going to grab a soda. Want anything?"
Tanner and I both shook our heads. Together, Rick and Janna walked off holding hands.
I returned my gaze to Tanner. "How is it different?"
"It just is."
"Fine, but if you can't tell me your big secret how can you expect me to trust you with mine.? I grabbed my backpack and stood up.
"Kenzie, wait. You don't understand."
"Oh, I think I do." Flinging my backpack over my shoulder, I stormed out of the cafeteria. I was really hoping he'd tell me. I was really hoping I could trust him.
He waited for me at my car after school. The way he leaned against it in his jeans and t-shirt made me melt. He looked like one of those magazine ads for Calvin Klein or something. If only he wasn't so hot.
"Okay, you win," he said when I approached.
"What do you mean?"
"I'll tell you why Scarlet and I broke up, but first you have to make me a promise."
A group of students bounded past us, laughing and chatting. A car careened down our aisle.
"Okay."
"You have to promise not to hate me."
"Of course I wouldn't hate you." I thought of all the terrible things I'd done. I'm sure it didn't even compare to those.
"You have to promise, Kenzie."
"Fine. I promise."
"All right." He looked around at all the students filling the parking lot and the cars peeling out. "But not here."
"I would say we could go to the park, but it looks like it might rain again." The clouds overhead were heavy and dark.
"We could go to my house. My parents are both at work," he suggested.
"Okay. I'll meet you there." I knew where Tanner lived. I'd been to parties there before. His parents went out of town often and his house used to be party central. I always used to go to the parties with the intention of flirting with Tanner. Only, he would spend the entire evening with Scarlet, and I never got my chance.
Tanner lived pretty close to Haley and the streets were almost identical with their beautiful yards and similar tract homes. He also had a two story with a sweeping staircase. We sat in his living room, the large picture windows overlooking the large expanse of green gra.s.s that was his front yard. It was the house I'd always dreamt of living in. It smelled like oranges and potpourri. The magazines were organized in a rack next to the couch, and there was even a little console for the remotes. I thought of how Tanner had been in my own messy living room and felt a stab of embarra.s.sment.
As if sensing this, Tanner said, "It's not that great, believe me."
"Yeah right."
"No seriously. My mom's a total neat freak. If she finds one thing out of place when she gets home, I'll be in big trouble. I mean, look at this place. It doesn't even look lived in."
I looked around, but to me it looked heavenly.
"Can I get you some water or a soda or something?"
I shook my head.
He took a deep breath as he ran a hand over his hair. His nervousness was starting to get to me. If what he had to say was this bad, maybe I didn't want to hear it. I mean, I thought so highly of Tanner. Did I really want that to end? But it was too late to back out now. Besides, at this point my imagination would run wild. Most likely, what he had to say wouldn't be nearly as bad as what I would make up.
"Scarlet broke up with me."
This alone was shocking. By the way she was acting in the bathroom, I thought for sure he'd broken it off with her.
He stared at his hands as if the story was written on his palm. "It was after a party at Caleb's house. We were all drinking and having a good time. I tried to get physical with Scarlet but she pushed me away. She was always such a tease. I mean, we went out for four years, after all."
I found it hard to draw breath. My insides were screaming for him to stop. It was like a car accident. I so badly wanted to look away and yet morbid curiosity kept me glued to the story. I sat completely still, my hands folded in my lap and listened.
"So, I slipped something in her drink. It knocked her out."
My face felt hot like I was coming down with a fever, and yet I shivered. The heater kicked on, startling me.
His gaze was still glued to his hand as if he feared seeing the look on my face. "I didn't do anything. I swear. But she thought I did and there's no convincing her otherwise."
He finally lifted his head. I was sure my face looked as appalled as I felt, but I couldn't help it. How could I ever trust someone who had taken advantage of a woman after what my mom and I had gone through?
"You believe me, don't you? I would never do that." His eyes pleaded with me.
I found my voice. "Then why did you give her the drug?"
"I don't know. I wasn't in my right mind. The man said the pills would give me the desires of my heart."
"What man?"
He looked me right in the eye. "Drake. That's how I know him. He's the guy who sold me the drugs."
The floor flew out from beneath me.
That night I tossed and turned, trying to fall asleep. Tanner's pained face and Mom's crazy outbursts filled my thoughts. My mind whirred with the confusing events of the past few weeks. It took hours to finally quiet them, and get some rest. When I did, my dreams consisted of evil sculptures attacking me, and demons chasing me.
I awoke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, my sheets tangled around me. Lifting my head, I caught sight of the figure of a man standing next to my bed. I stiffened.
He came closer and the light from the window sliced across his features, illuminating his face. I sucked in a breath. Lifting his hand, he held his index finger to his lips.
"Shhhh." He whispered, leaning his head down closer to mine. I swallowed hard and scooted back. My head b.u.mped the headboard. "There's no need to be frightened, Kenzie. You know me. We're friends, remember?"
Chapter Seventeen.
I nodded, hoping he would just leave me alone. What was he doing here so late at night anyway? Did Mom know he was here? I turned my head toward her room.
Following my gaze, Drake said, "You don't want to upset your mom, do you?"
My heart beat loudly in my chest. I fought to keep my breathing steady and even. Outside the wind howled like a dying animal. Tree branches scratched against my window.
"I just came in here to have a little one- on-one chat. I didn't mean to upset you."
He touched my chin with his finger, lifted my head up to expose my neck. I trembled. Lightning flashed against the sky, giving off a strobe light effect in my room.
"You've been upsetting your mom, and I don't like it. She cares for me. She listens to me. If you know what's good for you, you won't try to get between us again. Do you understand?"
I nodded. He dropped my chin, causing me to bite down on my tongue. Blood filled my mouth. The low growl of thunder pulsated through my body. The storm was in full force now.
"Oh no, it seems you've hurt yourself." His smile looked even more sinister in the darkness. When he reached my doorway he turned around. His face looked distorted, inhuman, almost like it was covered in scales. I gasped.
"Everything looks scarier in the dark, Kenzie. You, of all people, should know that."
I blinked, wondering if that was all it was, the darkness playing tricks on me.
"Just because you like the light better doesn't mean everyone does. Remember that, Kenzie." With that, he slipped out into the hall.
I stayed up all night, terrified. It seemed crazy but I was more scared than when Wesley was after me. At least then I'd had Grandma and Isaac. This time the man I was afraid of was my mom's boyfriend. I'd been in situations like these before and I'd learned that Mom never sided with me. And she really liked Drake. Even more than she had the other ones. There was no convincing her he was evil.
All night I mulled over what to do; how to get rid of him. It wasn't going to be as simple this time. I feared I wouldn't be able to fight him without Mom's help. As long as he had her in his grasp, there was nothing I could do. But how could I convince her? By the time morning light spilled into my room, I was no closer to having any answers than I was hours earlier.
I stumbled out of bed and trudged into the kitchen to make coffee. As I pa.s.sed Mom's room, I prayed that Drake wasn't in there. In the kitchen I found a note from Mom tacked to the fridge.
Went to breakfast with Drake. Be back later.
Throwing the note in the trash, I decided to be long gone by the time they returned. Until I had a plan of action, I was staying as far from that man as possible.
Just as I was filling the coffee pot with water, a knock sounded on the front door. Looking down at my pj's, I hoped it wasn't Tanner making another impromptu appearance.
Much to my relief, it was Carol. I smiled at her, squinting against the morning sunlight that blinded me. Even though it was chilly outside, the sun had made an appearance from behind the gray clouds and its rays shone brightly.
"Mom isn't home," I told her.
Carol nodded, causing her sleek blond bob to swish around her chin. She blinked her wide chocolate brown eyes. "I know. I came to talk to you."
"Me?" Carol had been my mom's best friend for years, but this was a first. b.u.t.terflies swarmed my stomach. This couldn't be good.
"Okay." I opened the door wide, and ushered her inside.
Carol walked in, chewing on her nails. She was making me nervous.
"Why don't you sit down. Do you want something to drink? I'm brewing a pot of coffee."
Carol folded into the couch like a piece of origami. "Sure. Sounds good." She was still chomping on her short, jagged nails.