English Satires Part 30

_Bossuet_. So, then! you would really have them die for you?

_Fontanges_. Oh, no, no! but I wanted to see whether they were in earnest, or told me fibs; for, if they told me fibs, I would never trust them again.

_Bossuet_. Do you hate the world, mademoiselle?

_Fontanges_. A good deal of it: all Picardy, for example, and all Sologne; nothing is uglier--and, oh my life! what frightful men and women!

_Bossuet_. I would say, in plain language, do you hate the flesh and the devil?

_Fontanges_. Who does not hate the devil? If you will hold my hand the while, I will tell him so.--I hate you, beast! There now. As for flesh, I never could bear a fat man. Such people can neither dance nor hunt, nor do anything that I know of.

_Bossuet_. Mademoiselle Marie-Angelique de Scoraille de Rousille, d.u.c.h.ess de Fontanges! do you hate t.i.tles and dignities and yourself?

_Fontanges_. Myself! does anyone hate me? Why should I be the first?

Hatred is the worst thing in the world: it makes one so very ugly.

_Bossuet_. To love G.o.d, we must hate ourselves. We must detest our bodies, if we would save our souls.

_Fontanges_. That is hard: how can I do it? I see nothing so detestable in mine. Do you? To love is easier. I love G.o.d whenever I think of him, he has been so very good to me; but I cannot hate myself, if I would.

As G.o.d hath not hated me, why should I? Beside, it was he who made the King to love me; for I heard you say in a sermon that the hearts of kings are in his rule and governance. As for t.i.tles and dignities, I do not care much about them while His Majesty loves me, and calls me his Angelique. They make people more civil about us; and therefore it must be a simpleton who hates or disregards them, and a hypocrite who pretends it. I am glad to be a d.u.c.h.ess. Manon and Lizette have never tied my garter so as to hurt me since, nor has the mischievous old La Grange said anything cross or bold; on the contrary, she told me what a fine colour and what a plumpness it gave me. Would not you rather be a d.u.c.h.ess than a waiting-maid or a nun, if the King gave you your choice?

_Bossuet_. Pardon me, mademoiselle, I am confounded at the levity of your question.

_Fontanges_. I am in earnest, as you see.

_Bossuet_. Flattery will come before you in other and more dangerous forms: you will be commended for excellences which do not belong to you; and this you will find as injurious to your repose as to your virtue. An ingenuous mind feels in unmerited praise the bitterest reproof. If you reject it, you are unhappy; if you accept it, you are undone. The compliments of a king are of themselves sufficient to pervert your intellect.

_Fontanges_. There you are mistaken twice over. It is not my person that pleases him so greatly: it is my spirit, my wit, my talents, my genius, and that very thing which you have mentioned--what was it? my intellect. He never complimented me the least upon my beauty. Others have said that I am the most beautiful young creature under heaven; a blossom of Paradise, a nymph, an angel; worth (let me whisper it in your ear--do I lean too hard?) a thousand Montespans. But His Majesty never said more on the occasion than that I was _imparagonable_! (what is that?) and that he adored me; holding my hand and sitting quite still, when he might have romped with me and kissed me.

_Bossuet_. I would aspire to the glory of converting you.

_Fontanges_. You may do anything with me but convert me: you must not do that; I am a Catholic born. M. de Turenne and Mademoiselle de Duras were heretics: you did right there. The King told the chancellor that he prepared them, that the business was arranged for you, and that you had nothing to do but get ready the arguments and responses, which you did gallantly--did not you? And yet Mademoiselle de Duras was very awkward for a long while afterwards in crossing herself, and was once remarked to beat her breast in the litany with the points of two fingers at a time, when everyone is taught to use only the second, whether it has a ring upon it or not. I am sorry she did so; for people might think her insincere in her conversion, and pretend that she kept a finger for each religion.

_Bossuet_. It would be as uncharitable to doubt the conviction of Mademoiselle de Duras as that of M. le Marechali.

_Fontanges_. I have heard some fine verses, I can a.s.sure you, monseigneur, in which you are called the conqueror of Turenne. I should like to have been his conqueror myself, he was so great a man. I understand that you have lately done a much more difficult thing.

_Bossuet_. To what do you refer, mademoiselle?

_Fontanges_. That you have overcome quietism. Now, in the name of wonder, how could you manage that?

_Bossuet_. By the grace of G.o.d.

_Fontanges_. Yes, indeed; but never until now did G.o.d give any preacher so much of his grace as to subdue this pest.

_Bossuet_. It has appeared among us but lately.

_Fontanges_. Oh, dear me! I have always been subject to it dreadfully, from a child.

_Bossuet_. Really! I never heard so.

_Fontanges_. I checked myself as well as I could, although they constantly told me I looked well in it.

_Bossuet_. In what, mademoiselle?

_Fontanges_. In quietism; that is, when I fell asleep at sermon-time. I am ashamed that such a learned and pious man as M. de Fenelon should incline to it, as they say he does.

_Bossuet_. Mademoiselle, you quite mistake the matter.

_Fontanges_. Is not then M. de Fenelon thought a very pious and learned person?

_Bossuet_. And justly.

_Fontanges_. I have read a great way in a romance he has begun, about a knight-errant in search of a father. The King says there are many such about his court; but I never saw them nor heard of them before. The Marchioness de la Motte, his relative, brought it to me, written out in a charming hand, as much as the copybook would hold; and I got through, I know not how far. If he had gone on with the nymphs in the grotto, I never should have been tired of him; but he quite forgot his own story, and left them at once: in a hurry (I suppose) to set out upon his mission to Saintonge in the _pays de d'Aunis_, where the King has promised him a famous _heretic-hunt_. He is, I do a.s.sure you, a wonderful creature: he understands so much Latin and Greek, and knows all the tricks of the sorceresses. Yet you keep him under.

_Bossuet_. Mademoiselle, if you really have anything to confess, and if you desire that I should have the honour of absolving you, it would be better to proceed in it, than to oppress me with unmerited eulogies on my humble labours.

_Fontanges_. You must first direct me, monseigneur: I have nothing particular. The King a.s.sures me there is no harm whatever in his love toward me.

_Bossuet_. That depends on your thoughts at the moment. If you abstract the mind from the body, and turn your heart toward heaven--

_Fontanges_. O monseigneur, I always did so--every time but once--you quite make me blush. Let us converse about something else, or I shall grow too serious, just as you made me the other day at the funeral sermon. And now let me tell you, my lord, you compose such pretty funeral sermons, I hope I shall have the pleasure of hearing you preach mine.

_Bossuet_. Rather let us hope, mademoiselle, that the hour is yet far distant when so melancholy a service will be performed for you. May he who is unborn be the sad announcer of your departure hence![231] May he indicate to those around him many virtues not perhaps yet full-blown in you, and point triumphantly to many faults and foibles checked by you in their early growth, and lying dead on the open road you shall have left behind you! To me the painful duty will, I trust, be spared: I am advanced in age; you are a child.

_Fontanges_. Oh, no! I am seventeen.

_Bossuet_. I should have supposed you younger by two years at least.

But do you collect nothing from your own reflection, which raises so many in my breast? You think it possible that I, aged as I am, may preach a sermon on your funeral. We say that our days are few; and saying it, we say too much. Marie Angelique, we have but one: the past are not ours, and who can promise us the future? This in which we live is ours only while we live in it; the next moment may strike it off from us; the next sentence I would utter may be broken and fall between us.[232] The beauty that has made a thousand hearts to beat at one instant, at the succeeding has been without pulse and colour, without admirer, friend, companion, follower. She by whose eyes the march of victory shall have been directed, whose name shall have animated armies at the extremities of the earth, drops into one of its crevices and mingles with its dust. d.u.c.h.ess de Fontanges! think on this! Lady! so live as to think on it undisturbed!

_Fontanges_. O G.o.d! I am quite alarmed. Do not talk thus gravely. It is in vain that you speak to me in so sweet a voice. I am frightened even at the rattle of the beads about my neck: take them off, and let us talk on other things. What was it that dropped on the floor as you were speaking? It seemed to shake the room, though it sounded like a pin or b.u.t.ton.

_Bossuet_. Leave it there!

_Fontanges_. Your ring fell from your hand, my Lord Bishop! How quick you are! Could not you have trusted me to pick it up?

_Bossuet_. Madame is too condescending: had this happened, I should have been overwhelmed with confusion. My hand is shrivelled: the ring has ceased to fit it. A mere accident may draw us into perdition; a mere accident may bestow on us the means of grace. A pebble has moved you more than my words.

_Fontanges_. It pleases me vastly: I admire rubies. I will ask the King for one exactly like it. This is the time he usually comes from the chase. I am sorry you cannot be present to hear how prettily I shall ask him: but that is impossible, you know; for I shall do it just when I am certain he would give me anything. He said so himself; he said but yesterday--

'Such a sweet creature is worth a world':

and no actor on the stage was more like a king than His Majesty was when he spoke it, if he had but kept his wig and robe on. And yet you know he is rather stiff and wrinkled for so great a monarch; and his eyes, I am afraid, are beginning to fail him, he looks so close at things.

_Bossuet_. Mademoiselle, such is the duty of a prince who desires to conciliate our regard and love.

_Fontanges_. Well, I think so too, though I did not like it in him at first. I am sure he will order the ring for me, and I will confess to you with it upon my finger. But first I must be cautious and particular to know of him how much it is his royal will that I should say.