English As We Speak It in Ireland Part 13

'You spoke too late,' as the fool said when he swallowed a bad egg, and heard the chicken chirp going down his throat.

'Good soles bad uppers.' Applied to a person raised from a low to a high station, who did well enough while low, but in his present position is overbearing and offensive.

I have done a person some service: and now he ill-naturedly refuses some reasonable request. I say: 'Oh wait: _apples will grow again_.' He answers--'Yes _if the trees baint cut_'--a defiant and ungrateful answer, as much as to say--you may not have the opportunity to serve me, or I may not want it.

Turf or peat was scarce in Kilmallock (Co. Limerick): whence the proverb, 'A Kilmallock fire--two sods and a _kyraun_' (a bit broken _off of_ a sod).

People are often punished even in this world for their misdeeds: 'G.o.d Almighty often pays debts without money.' (Wicklow.)

I advise you not to do so without the master's permission:--'Leave is light.' A very general saying. {108}

When a person gives much civil talk, makes plausible excuses or fair promises, the remark is made 'Soft words b.u.t.ter no parsnips.' Sometimes also 'Talk is cheap.'

A person who is too complaisant--over anxious to please everyone--is 'like Lanna Mochree's dog--he will go a part of the road with everyone.' (Moran Carlow.) (A witness said this of a policeman in the Celbridge courthouse--Kildare--last year, showing that it is still alive.)

'The first drop of the broth is the hottest': the first step in any enterprise is usually the hardest. (Westmeath.)

The light, consisting of a single candle, or the jug of punch from which the company fill their tumblers, ought always to be placed on the middle of the table when people are sitting round it:--'Put the priest in the middle of the parish.'

'After a gathering comes a scattering.' 'A narrow gathering, a broad scattering.' Both allude to the case of a thrifty man who gathers up a fortune during a lifetime, and is succeeded by a spendthrift son who soon _makes ducks and drakes_ of the property.

No matter how old a man is he can get a wife if he wants one: 'There never was an old slipper but there was an old stocking to match it.' (Carlow.)

'You might as well go to h.e.l.l with a load as with a _pahil_': 'You might as well hang for a sheep as for a lamb': both explain themselves. A _pahil_ or _paghil_ is a bundle of anything. (Derry.)

If a man treats you badly in any way, you threaten to pay him back in his own coin by saying, 'The cat hasn't eaten the year yet.' (Carlow.) {109}

'A fool and his money are easily parted.'

'A dumb priest never got a parish,' as much as to say if a man wants a thing he must ask and strive for it.

'A slip of the tongue is no fault of the mind.' (Munster.)

You merely hint at something requiring no further explanation:--'A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse.' (Sam Lover: but heard everywhere.)

A very wise proverb often heard among us is:--'Let well enough alone.'

'When a man is down, down with him': a bitter allusion to the tendency of the world to trample down the unfortunate and helpless.

'The friend that can be bought is not worth buying.' (Moran: Carlow.)

'The life of an old hat is to c.o.c.k it.' To c.o.c.k an old hat is to set it jauntingly on the head with the leaf turned up at one side. (S. E.

counties.)

'The man that wears the shoe knows where it pinches.' It is only the person holding any position that knows the troubles connected with it.

'Enough and no waste is as good as a _faist_.'

'There are more ways of killing a dog than by choking him with b.u.t.ter.'

Applied when some insidious cunning attempt that looks innocent is made to injure another.

'Well James are you quite recovered now?' 'Oh yes, I'm _on the baker's list_ again': i.e., I am well and have recovered my appet.i.te.

'An Irishman before answering a question always asks another': he wants to know why he is asked.

Dan O'Loghlin, a working man, drove up to our {110} house one day on an outside car. It was a sixpenny drive, but rather a long one; and the carman began to grumble. Whereupon Dan, in the utmost good humour, replied:--'Oh you must take the little potato with the big potato.' A very apt maxim in many of life's affairs, and often heard in and around Dublin.

'Good goods are tied up in small parcels': said of a little man or a little woman, in praise or mitigation. (Moran: Carlow.)

'Easy with the hay, there are boys on the ladder.' When a man is on the top of the stack forking down hay, he is warned to look out and be careful if other _boys_ are mounting up the ladder, lest he may pitch it on their heads. The proverb is uttered when a person is incautiously giving expression to words likely to offend some one present. (Moran: Carlow.)

Be cautious about believing the words of a man speaking ill of another against whom he has a grudge: 'Spite never spoke well.' (Moran: Carlow.)

Don't encroach too much on a privilege or it may be withdrawn: don't ask too much or you may get nothing at all:--'Covetousness bursts the bag.'

Three things not to be trusted--a cow's horn, a dog's tooth, and a horse's hoof.

Three disagreeable things at home:--a scolding wife; a squalling child; and a smoky chimney.

Three good things to have. I heard this given as a toast exactly as I give it here, by a fine old gentleman of the old times:--'Here's that we may always have a _clane_ shirt; a _clane_ conscience; and a guinea in our pocket.' {111}

Here is another toast. A happy little family party round the farmer's fire with a big jug on the table (a jug of what, do you think?) The old blind piper is the happiest of all, and holding up his gla.s.s says:--'Here's, if this be war may we never have peace.' (Edw. Walsh.)

Three things no person ever saw:--a highlander's kneebuckle, a dead a.s.s, a tinker's funeral.

'Take care to lay by for the sore foot': i.e., Provide against accidents, against adversity or want; against the rainy day.

When you impute another person's actions to evil or unworthy motives: that is 'measuring other people's corn in your own bushel.'

A person has taken some unwise step: another expresses his intention to do a similar thing, and you say:--'One fool is enough in a parish.'

In the middle of last century, the people of Carlow and its neighbourhood prided themselves on being able to give, on the spur of the moment, toasts suitable to the occasion. Here is one such: 'Here's to the herring that never took a bait'; a toast reflecting on some person present who had been made a fool of in some transaction. (Moran: Carlow.)

'A man cannot grow rich without his wife's leave': as much as to say, a farmer's wife must co-operate to ensure success and prosperity. (Moran: Carlow.)

When something is said that has a meaning under the surface the remark is made 'There's gravel in that.'

'Pity people barefoot in cold frosty weather, But don't make them boots with other people's leather.'

{112} That is to say: don't be generous at other people's expense. Many years ago this proverb was quoted by the late Serjeant Armstrong in addressing a jury in Wicklow.

'A wet night: a dry morning': said to a man who is _craw-sick_--thirsty and sick--after a night's boozing. (Moran: Carlow.)

This last reminds me of an invitation I once got from a country gentleman to go on a visit, holding out as an inducement that he would give me 'a dry bed and a wet bottle.'

'If he's not fishing he's mending his nets': said of a man who always makes careful preparations and lays down plans for any enterprise he may have in view.

'If he had a shilling in his pocket it would burn a hole through it': said of a man who cannot keep his money together--a spendthrift.