Emily The Strange_ The Lost Days Part 31

Things I like best about home: 1. Mom.

2. Mom, for not questioning the fact that my only souvenirs from a month-long cruise to Australia were 15 bobblehead koala bears and a jar of tar.

3. Mom, for making sandwiches that are even better than Raven's.

4. Mom, for being agreeable when I asked if Raven could live in the bas.e.m.e.nt.

5. My stunning collections of rare Paleolithic fossils, spiderwebs, high-resistance ultrapolymer platings, crash-test dummies from around the world, cat whiskers, wallpaper, slingshotting rocks, rock posters, ion grids, cottage cheese containers, ouija boards, gold doubloons, iron maidens...etc., etc., etc.

6. My beautiful garden of weird weeds, which have clearly missed me and my black thumb.

7. My personal library, which (Great-Aunt Emma would be proud to see) includes Occult Thermodynamics and You Occult Thermodynamics and You AND AND Secrets of Golem Dominion Secrets of Golem Dominion.

8. All my wondrous and soul-soothing music: Dirge Control, Puppy Glove, Furniture That Sings, Doom Valve, Thee Crypt Divers, Stain Spiral, Split Enzyme, the Larry Beatty Disaster Sequence, Not from Heaven, the Riotous Undead, It Isn't This, Chapter 13 Verse 13, SplatterBoar, etc., etc., etc.

9. My amazing home laboratory and all the experiments I left in it, most of which have been progressing nicely.

10. My pet garbage-eating catfish-goat, who cheerfully recycles all my experiments that haven't progressed so nicely.

11. My ultra-modded Magic 8 Ball, which gives incredibly accurate and insightful answers to all my questions.

12. McFreely's real name, which is Mystery. (Wouldn't you know, her collar was here at home the whole time, in one of Mom's kitchen junk drawers.) 13. And MY name, Emily!

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APPENDIX A:.

Six pages that I tore out from the middle of my notebook, and later discovered in the van's engine compartment after I got back to Blandindulle.

Day 19 top 13 strangest things in earwig's room: 1. sugarcube diorama of the la brea tar pits 2. mermaid baby in a jar of formaldehyde 3. origami rulture 4. lemur bunker 5. macrame rampire 6. black hole dart gun 7. spiderweb collection 8. rack of custom-built slingohots 9. portable chasm 10. apothecary kit 11. antigravity machine 12. spare forehead A bit later-alone finally. Molly is off saying hi to friends.

OK-Molly may be a rebel (a rebel against capitalization if nothing else), but I bet she's won trophies for spelling. I mean-diorama? Apothecary? Impressive.

OK, also, !!!!!!!!!!!!! EXCLAMATION POINTS GALORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Obviously-I have some explaining to do!

Obviously-I have found Molly.

Obviously-I am not Molly.

AND-Molly knows who I really am.

What a day. I found her in the first place I looked. Lucky for me: small town, one overpa.s.s.

It's spine-chilling how much Molly and I look alike. No wonder I was fooled by her photos. She is not much like like me, though. I've mentioned that she is a popular, well-dressed girl who wins trophies at whatever she does. Also, she smiles a lot. Yeah. Right now she's making her extended social rounds of the cafe. Fine. Gives me some time to write. me, though. I've mentioned that she is a popular, well-dressed girl who wins trophies at whatever she does. Also, she smiles a lot. Yeah. Right now she's making her extended social rounds of the cafe. Fine. Gives me some time to write.

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Anyway, get this. That girl in Zigzag was right on the money about Molly doing a tour of towns with funny names. She'd been to Boring, Oregon; Skook.u.mchuck, Washington; Pickles Gap, Arkansas; Greasy, Oklahoma; Hippo, Kentucky; and a.s.sinippi, Ma.s.sachusetts, before hitting Blandindulle. She was at a Laundromat washing the dirty half of her extensive traveling wardrobe (she travels with three three suitcases, apparently) when this lady came over and struck up a conversation. Said she had a daughter that looked JUST like Molly. (!) This daughter was away on a cruise to Australia (!!) for a month (!!!). Molly convinced the lady she was on some kind of solo field trip, and the lady invited Molly to crash at her house. Which Molly did. suitcases, apparently) when this lady came over and struck up a conversation. Said she had a daughter that looked JUST like Molly. (!) This daughter was away on a cruise to Australia (!!) for a month (!!!). Molly convinced the lady she was on some kind of solo field trip, and the lady invited Molly to crash at her house. Which Molly did.

In MY BEDROOM.

Man oh man oh man oh man oh man.

Anyway, we came here to this cafe (Blandindulle equivalent of the El Dungeon, I guess) to talk it over. And you know, if it hadn't been for the Sharon and George episode, I probably would have sprinted home without even saying bye to Molly. But if I learned anything from that experience, it's that I probably left home for a reason; going home was not going to cure my amnesia; I probably still had something to learn or do in Blackrock; and if my home was in Blandindulle today, it would most likely still be in Blandindulle next week.

So, if Molly ever makes her way back to our table, maybe I can start getting some useful information out of her. Like for starters, my real name.

Later I've regained my memories, and what I know makes me want to get amnesia again.

Molly did this to me. I mean the memories, not the amnesia. We were still hanging out at the cafe in Blandindulle, and she was telling me all this stuff that I of course didn't recall about MY OWN MOTHER, and then boom, she pops out with-OK, I'm not going to even write it down, JUST IN CASE I read this later when I need to keep my amnesia. Anyway, it's like our family swearword, which my mom says all the time. And in my GREAT WISDOM, I'd programmed that word as my failsafe, just in case something awful happened.

Well, something awful HAS happened, and I need to get back to my van and get another dose of amnesia AS SOON AS I CAN!!!!

-Gotta go, Molly is heading this way with a bus ticket for me, more later.

Later Am back on the bus, headed to Blackrock.

After the joy of regaining my ident.i.ty came the horror of the dangerous knowledge my mind is so full of. And I am LUCKY that it happened in Blandindulle, and not in Blackrock. Just hope I can get back to the van without encountering Jakey.

Anyway, I made Molly swear that if she encountered me again she would not tell me my name or say my mom's swearword. To give her credit: She felt very bad, and not only paid for my bus ticket back to Blackrock, but promised to come to my aid any time I called. (Let's hope THAT will never happen!) While waiting for the bus, I got the following information from her: 1. Curls/Ripper sucks his thumb while sleeping. Good Stuff!!

2. She did not tidy my room, under instructions from my mom.

3. She really thinks I need to tidy my room.

4. She thinks I should know that there are several science experiments in my room that are looking VERY unsanitary.

5. She considers me a "creative" type, but she shook her head when she said it.

6. She was amazed to find only identical black sleeveless dresses in my wardrobe.

7. She had a really hard time beating any of the high scores on the video games at my house.

8. She thought all my music was completely unlistenable and does not see how anyone could consider Dirge Control their favorite band.

9. What she loves about new towns is meeting new people. Meeting...lots...of new...people.

10. She and Curls/Ripper did indeed meet some elderly lady in Turniptown, Pennsylvania, who said that Molly reminded her of an old friend in a tiny town called Blackrock.

11. After much argument, Molly finally promised she would NOT show up in Blackrock unless I actually called and asked her to come.

12. Molly misses Bratwurst and Toulouse Bratwurst and Toulouse Tuffy and Tweety a whole heap of a lot. Belgium, those names. Tuffy and Tweety a whole heap of a lot. Belgium, those names.

13. My mom never mistook Molly for me. Heartwarming.

OK-Bus is pulling into Blackrock! Time to get down to some serious forgetting!!

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APPENDIX B:.

Eleven pages that I tore out of the front of my notebook and discovered in the van's wheel-well after I got back to Blandindulle.

Thursday the 12th Dear Diary, Welcome to my world, little black book. Don't expect to be addressed as "Dear Diary" anymore. Do expect to have strange liquids spilled on you, and bugs pressed in you, even though I have other books just for strange liquids and pressed bugs, and for gravestone rubbings, bad poetry, good poetry, foreign candy wrappers, cat drawings, cat+monster drawings, robot+cat+monster drawings...just to name a few.

The reason I need another black book in my life right now is that I've just gotten the strangest letter from my Great-Aunt Emma, and I have a feeling that diary-worthy adventures are inevitable.

Here's the letter:

Note-I took out this letter for strategic purposes on Tuesday the 17th!

Haven't decided just what to do yet. Still very busy with golem project, which began as a way of making the best of a bad situation. It all started when my cats caught this raven. Cats are vicious, violent, bloodthirsty beast-creatures, you know? Anyway, I stepped in just in time. But too late to save the bird...as she was. I happened to be making a golem in my bas.e.m.e.nt that week, and the brain and heart came at the perfect time. This was about a month ago. Right now I'm putting on the final touches before I bring her out of anesthesia. She's going to be my driver. Possibly bodyguard, too. I'll teach her to make sandwiches just how I like them. And maybe a little judo and diamond cutting, if I have time. And now I'm thinking she can help me out in this Blackrock place with this whole inheritance thing.

Friday the 13th Animated the golem and named her Raven. Man, I did a good job on her. Spent part of the money Great-Aunt Emma sent getting her some nice clothes and a pricy wig. I am never getting pulled over again!

I have a rough plan for this whole inheritance thing now. It goes a little something like this: 1. Develop technology for completely blocking and restoring memory.

2. Create foolproof memory backup device in case of disaster.

3. Install devices into van.

4. Program Raven for the next month.

5. Go to Blackrock.

6. Send Great-Aunt Emma's employee Rachel on a long cruise.

7. Set up Raven and myself in her place.

8. Back up memory.

9. Block out memory.

10. Identify and neutralize the enemy.

11. Take possession of my inheritance.

12. Restore memory.

13. Learn important lesson about life laughter friendship life laughter friendship how cool it is to have a golem who follows your every command. how cool it is to have a golem who follows your every command.

Oh man, I have some lab tinkering to do.

Sat.u.r.day the 14th I made the memory backup device. It wasn't that tough. The only tricky part was programming a sorter to organize all my memories into categories as it stored them. But SOOO worth it! Here's a few of my favorites: [image]

Life lessons on danger of colliding subatomic particles at home-17 memoriesSweeping is fun-89 memories Hilarious antics of cats-23,957 memoriesGuts are slippery-45 memoriesSlingshot technique-163 memoriesPeople are charming-2 memoriesPeople are better left alone-234,905 memories Spiders are truly beautiful-54 memoriesState capitals-3 memoriest.i.tles of Surrealist paintings-244 memories New dress-13 memoriesMy own birth-1 memoryHorrendous nightmare-3,445 memories [image]

Sunday the 15th Have been experimenting all day with memory-blocking device and, you know, it's really hard to learn from your experiment when the experiment is to block your memory. Had to make myself a sign:

HEY, AMNESIA GIRL!YOU ARE CONDUCTING AN EXPERIMENT YOU HAVE JUST BLOCKED OUT YOUR MEMORY PLEASE POWER UP THE TAPE BACKUP AND ENTER COMMAND STRING 923RESTORE0815MEM TO RESTORE YOUR MEMORY FROM THE LAST SAVED VERSION OR COMMAND STRING 668CONCATENATE0815MEM IF YOU WANT TO REMEMBER YOUR AMNESIA, TOO OR COMMAND STRING &$&INVOKE MYST0815MEM IF YOU WANT YOUR CAT'S MEMORIES INSTEAD OR COMMAND STRING 13*13 BLACKOUT FOR ANOTHER ELEVEN MINUTES OF AMNESIA

Monday the 16th I got the memory-backup and memory-block devices working and installed them under the seats in my van. Did not have time to create independent memory-restore device but I did add a timer function to the memory-block device so I can just specify how long the amnesia lasts. Will start myself out with thirty days. I doubt it will take me that long to get things in Blackrock under control, but just in case.

I got Raven a fake ID and a t.i.tle to the van in her name. I got the tickets for the cruise for Rachel, and some travel postcards all written up to my mom, for Rachel to mail for me. I got my mom convinced that I won this cruise to Australia and won't be back for a month. GOOD STUFF!

I have so much on my mind with all these preparations that I almost can't wait to lose my memory.

Tuesday the 17th Spent the day loading the van, convincing my cats they are coming with me, convincing my mom that my "friend" Raven can take the best care of my cats while I'm gone, convincing my mom that my "friend" Raven should drive me to the airport in "her" crazy van, tolerating my mom's tears and hugs, taking mental snapshots of my home, and hoping my memory-block device's timer function works exactly as expected!

Still Tuesday-LATER Skibbly plagues on my luck today!!!! We broke down about an hour away from Blackrock. No service station in sight, so Raven and I opened the engine compartment, and a blast of fire shot up and got Raven's wig, and I had to pull it off and stamp on it and tear some of the worst burned chunks off. Stupid pricy flammable wig. Anyway, the engine was a mess, but I couldn't even touch it until it cooled off, so Raven and I took a walk to look for water, since I forgot to pack any in all the confusion. She has an excellent sense of where to dig for water, that Raven. We had to dig for a while using only a spork and a screwdriver, but we eventually hit a gusher, and filled up all our pockets and cheeks and cuppy hands, and ran back to the van, and splashed the engine, and got well steamed. Looks like certain essential engine parts have been ruined in the fire. Man, I wish I had more memories about "storing spare essential engine parts in the van, just in case" and fewer about "telemarketers I have cursed."

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Still Tuesday-a lot later Finally got the van running again, mostly by using strands of Raven's wig to tie together engine parts that looked like they went together. I actually have no idea why we are rolling down the highway at this moment, unless the spirit of Great-Aunt Emma is moving this van. Will definitely pack spare essential engine parts for my next adventure.

Very late Tuesday Things have gotten super hectic!!!! We finally rolled into Blackrock, and right away got into trouble when Raven nearly drove the van into a cop car that was just sitting in the middle of an intersection with its lights off. Blasted pigfarks! She swerved so hard the pa.s.senger door went flying open and I almost shot out of the van-would have, if she hadn't grabbed my arm and yanked me back in! Good old life-saving golem!!!!!! The cop woke up then and started driving after us. And so that's why right now we're involved in a medium-speed car chase through the streets of Blackrock! Not the way I would have chosen to make our entrance into town!! Thank badness I already did all of Raven's programming! Once I get my memory erased, she is going to drop me off somewhere in town and then hide the van. She'll go to the cafe Great-Aunt Emma told me about and give Rachel her cruise tickets. Oh man I wish I had more time to get ready.

One last Polaroid before things get too crazy: [image]