Emily The Strange_ The Lost Days Part 18

8. Schneider is a shameless double-crosser and lives in a world of lies, BUT, he did tell me to check out the library's collection of Emma LeStrande stuff back on Day 11, so I guess I can just torment him a little, rather than destroying him utterly.

9. I really do need to visit the library's collection of Emma LeStrande stuff.

10. I also should be spending more quality time with my great-aunt's belongings.

11. The secret closet and the liquid black rock are linked to some...unusual side effects. Possibly more unusual than not needing to eat or sleep. In other words: I can expect pretty much ANYTHING from Great-Aunt Emma.

12. I am going to search that secret closet for evidence that Great-Aunt Emma made Raven.

13. Great-Aunt Emma expected that I would be very smart. I need to live up to that. For my own sake.

Later Well what do you know? I found a book down in Closet Land called Secrets of Golem Dominion Secrets of Golem Dominion. It does not tell you how to make a golem, and seeing as how it was written about a hundred years ago, I wouldn't expect it to say much about a golem like Raven, who is running some pretty complicated technology. BUT. Here is the cool part, which I'm copying: "Having completed the rites to animate the golem, you must place it under your command, and once this is accomplished, you may be a.s.sured, there is no power on earth that may diverte your golem from carrying out your decrees, nor will the mandates of any other person have effect."

Isn't that interesting, I said to myself as I read this, thinking about how I sent Raven out on errands with the Moon Child.

So.

I asked Raven to come out to the back alley with me. Told her to stand on one leg, hop up and down, bark like a dog, and rip a steel panel off the Dumpster.

All of which she immediately did.

Just to test things, I went back inside and asked HamHawk to come try giving her some commands.

All that happened was that they both looked at me really funny.

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH I MADE A GOLEM I MADE A GOLEM AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH I HAVE A GOLEM WHO FOLLOWS MY EVERY COMMAND AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH.

-OK.

No point in getting too c.o.c.ky.

After all, I don't know how smart I'm really proving myself to be. Lots of leads, very few answers. Nearly thirty days of failure. And you might think it would make me feel better to know that I'm capable of making, programming, and repairing a golem...but in some way Raven is now the hardest person in this whole place for me to be around. Because every time I look at her, I'm reminded that once upon a time, I was smart. Smart enough to make a person out of...whatever I made her out of. I mean, I'm not saying she's perfect. She may not be great at conversation. Not that I would want her to be. And she really can only make espresso and sandwiches. Although, when it comes down to it, I wouldn't want to eat much else.

Hmm...

Maybe these are not design flaws.

Maybe I should do a little more investigation on what she can and can't do.

[image]

Later Am feeling smarter. Here's why.

RAVEN CAN'T...

BUT RAVEN CAN...

Hold a scintillating conversation Talk to birds

Make pork chops, roast chicken, filet mignon, etc.

Make a killer cheese and avocado sandwich

Tell me what 10 divided by 2 is Tell me how much 3 double lattes and 2 americanos would be, with tax

Do a somersault Rip apart a steel dumpster

Ride a bike Drive a car...or a VAN

Do you SEE that last item?? THAT is why she and I are headed to City Hall to meet Schneider as soon as they're open.

Day 25 Things are looking up!!!!!

It's surprising what people will do for you if they think you are smarter than they are. Also, if they feel guilty because of something bad that happened to you. Also, if they think you'll get them in trouble with a dead lady. Anyway, I didn't even tell Schneider about my new information-and still, he was like putty in my hands. PUTTY! Within twenty minutes he was telling the officer at the auto impound lot that the van was Raven's, and it only SEEMED like the license plate wasn't registered because Blackrock doesn't subscribe to the National Registry of Highly Unusual Automobiles, which he clearly just made up, and that he was sure $20 would cover the ticket, the towing, AND the month in the impound...Well, it looked like a Jedi mind trick to me, but maybe the guy just owed him a favor. Whatever! The van is ours! Schneider is OK in my book!

And Oh My Frog, that's not even the good part. The good part was when the four of us went out to the van and the officer cut off the chains and handed Raven the key, and she opened the driver's door and got in like she totally knew what she was doing, and then reached down into her cleavage, and took out her driver's license and the t.i.tle of the van, which is in her name.

(Her last name, in case you were wondering, because I sure was, is not Dungeon, but Miller. Ha! Ha!) AND, the GREAT part is that OUR marvelous van is now parked in the alley behind the El Dungeon where the lean-to used to be.

[image]

I gave Fridge Box II a decent burial in the Dumpster out back. But I wasn't all that sad to see it go.

Oh. AND. The WONDERFUL part. The splendorous, beautimous, fantastiffical part is this: If the cats belong with the van, and the van belongs to my golem, and my golem belongs to me, then all of that adds up to one thing: Had a knockdown, laughing, meowing, squirming hugfest with them to celebrate.

[image]

The Cats are Mine!!!

Had a knockdown, laughing, meowing, squirming hugfest with them to celebrate.

Later Have found the Letter From Emma!!!!!!!!!

[image]

Here's how it happened: I was hanging out in the van trying to have a nice, relaxing nightmare, or get some inspiration for my next breakthrough, or, I don't know, fully recover from amnesia, and the my cats were being just extremely pesky. Instead of piling on top of me as instructed, they were all over the van, walking on my face, making their collars jingle in my ear, tussling one another, etc.-at least, Miles, NeeChee, and Sabbath were doing all that. When I sat up to open the door and let them out, I saw that McFreely was quietly scratching up the upholstery from the floor between the two front seats. Now...I just don't know what to think of this. Maybe it's all a coincidence, but I think it's fairly odd that she would A) Get the boy cats distracting me, B) Scratch RIGHT THERE, of all places, C) Stop when she had pulled up enough of the upholstery to reveal the corner of the letter, and D) Look directly at me and meow like "Are you happy?"

She is a very mysterious feline!!

Anyway, the Letter's on the next page.

FROM THE D DESK OF E EMMA L LESTRANDEMy dear great-niece, How unfortunate it is that you and I will never meet, but fate has ordained that I will be dead before you are born. I am arranging with a friend to have this letter delivered to you once you are thirteen years of age. Understand, as I do, that knowing each other in life is hardly necessary; you and I will grow to know each other quite well nonetheless. As a sort of introduction, I am leaving you all of my property, and ask that you lay claim to it as soon as possible. Of course you will need to prove yourself worthy first.The situation is as follows. Your inheritance, including one a.s.set in particular of exceptional value, rests in a small town called Blackrock. I am enclosing a sum of money so that you can make the necessary plans to spend some time away from home. I leave the decision in your hands, but I suspect you will want to devise a subterfuge so that no parent or guardian insists on accompanying you.I give you this stern warning: A very serious threat currently exists in Blackrock-a person who, if the facts were revealed, would stop at nothing nothing to rob you of what is rightfully yours. Do not, under any circ.u.mstance, approach Blackrock until your defenses are prepared. At the very least, you will need to be incognito. If only there were some way you could defend your very to rob you of what is rightfully yours. Do not, under any circ.u.mstance, approach Blackrock until your defenses are prepared. At the very least, you will need to be incognito. If only there were some way you could defend your very mind mind-but I am afraid that is impossible, or that the solution is beyond my tired old brain. Dear niece, I would like to say that I have every confidence that you will find a way to remove the threat and take full possession of your property. My sources have a.s.sured me that you have a better chance of success than most people would. However, I must be honest with you: Your opponent is powerful and has even more powerful allies.I apologize for the dearth of solid information in this letter, but I am sure you understand that it is impossible. This letter is incriminating enough already, and if it should fall into the wrong hands...One thing I can give you: a point of contact-my employee, Rachel, at a cafe called the El Dungeon. It will be a good place for you to start.Follow your dreams, my child.Your great-aunt,[image]

Whew.

Where do I begin with all that?

Well, I'm going to make the following educated educated wild guesses: wild guesses: 1. My goal here in Blackrock is to take possession of my inheritance-Great-Aunt Emma's estate.

2. The estate probably consists of the El Dungeon building and all its oddball treasures, the amazing secret closet, and, uh, the minipark, or something.

3. The one exceptionally valuable a.s.set is probably either, I don't know, the matchstick DeLorean (ha), or the customer base at the El Dump (ahahahah). Seriously though, I bet the real treasure is hidden behind the locked door in the secret closet.

4. Possible opponents: the mayor? The police-nah, she said "powerful"! Attikol? umlaut? Curls? Crazy Hilda??? Would like to think it's the police, or Curls...but am afraid it is probably Attikol.

5. It seems that, at least for now, my opponent doesn't realize he's my opponent: He hasn't discovered that my inheritance is valuable to him.

6. Great-Aunt Emma expected there would be some kind of attack on my mind. Which I am afraid is probably Jakey's psychic power.

7. In light of current information, I now have a much better att.i.tude toward my bad case of amnesia. Still, I will have to be extremely careful to prevent Jakey from knowing about certain...unusual items.

8. I could just wait for Professor umlaut's Prophylactery and Revue and Uncle Attikol's Deadly Dollhouse to leave town, and then claim my inheritance, except 8A) They come here every year, and 8B) Because of the stupid challenge I gave Attikol, he now owns most of Blackrock.

9. So I guess I have to somehow get Attikol (and Jakey) to leave Blackrock forever. Without letting them know why.

10. Even if I do manage to accomplish this, I still don't know how I'm going to get my memory back.

11. Rachel totally bailed on her duty to help me out. Where is she, anyway? And why isn't she here, helping me out?

12. Whatever subterfuge I devised to keep my parent or guardian from accompanying me to Blackrock, it's bound to have some kind of time limit. Which could be either my salvation or my complete undoing.

13. I am screwed.

Day 26 HamHawk made his emotional goodbyes to Raven today. He has sold his house to Attikol like everyone else and is moving to Chicago. I have been too wrapped up in closet-diving, van-reclaiming, and mystery-solving to think about it, but now I realize I haven't seen any of the other regulars in at least a full day. Curls and the umlaut crew are still here as usual, but they've lost some of their steam now that they have no audience but themselves. Anyway, it was hurting me to watch HamHawk tell Raven wistful things like "I'll call you from Chicago, OK?" when she was barely responding, so I went out to walk around town and scope the situation a bit. The streets of Blackrock are looking surprisingly empty, aside from unwanted belongings being piled up on the sidewalk as people leave town. Many, many buildings are also empty. Most of them have been pushed one inch to the east and are now in the process of falling down. And almost all the rest have construction crews working to push them one inch to the east. Thereby knocking them down. I guess buildings don't take well to being pushed to the east. Lucky for Attikol I never specified they had to stay intact.

Had a moment of terror when I remembered my dream about black liquid coming up from under all those buildings. But everything is looking safely dry. Well, that's one good thing to hold on to. And all these other things still to worry me: Great-Aunt Emma is still technically the owner of the El Dungeon. And she's dead. What is going to happen if/when Attikol tries to buy it? If Emma didn't leave a will, could I claim ownership just because, um, I look a lot like her? And let's imagine I did own the building. How far would Attikol go to complete his challenge? If the worst happens, and Attikol somehow does push the El Dungeon to the east, how am I going to keep him away from Raven?

What if Jakey comes to see whether I'm over the laryngitis?

What if I accidentally see Jakey on the street?

Later While thinking this, I suddenly got very nervous and ducked into the nearest building, which happened to be the library. So I figured it was high time I saw the Emma LeStrande room. Hogbark! That was some good stuff. There is another large portrait of Great-Aunt Emma there. With her looking over me, I started reading through the doc.u.ments she left. (Of course I was hoping for a will, but no dice.) They were all copies of patent applications-you know, those things you turn in to the government when you invent something, so that no one can steal your idea. Here are my favorites: [image]

1. Mechanical linen-blackener 2. Amplitudinal sandstorm generator 3. Snake kibble 4. Leafblower annihilator 5. Automatic irrigation and feeding system for carnivorous plants 6. Cat thoughtwave amplifier 7. Method for bronzing live animals without hurting them 8. Organic electric wiring to be used inside living plants 9. Unbreakable polymer filament synthesized from coffee grounds 10. Earwig trap (laughed my cheeks off at that one) 11. Magnetic paint 12. Method for spinning cat hair into yarn 13. Hotrodded slingshot with hidden compartments [image]

Later Ran into Schneider on my way back from the library, which was kind of convenient, since he is the only person I could think of who might be able to answer some of my current questions. I decided to lay it all out for him.

ME:.

Look, Schneider, I know everything.

SCHNEIDER:.

Wow, you got your memory back?

ME:.

Uh...no. I mean...I know all about that letter you got from my great-aunt Emma.

S:.

...How could you possibly know that?