Elements of Morals Part 23

In the first case, the question may be raised either from the child's or from the parents' standpoint. On the part of the child it should never be raised. The answer is this: The child should obey, and its obedience consists in its not wishing to have any more liberty than its parents permit it to have. Of the necessary limits of this obedience, the parents can alone judge; the child cannot. The doctrine that the child should obey in all reasonable cases, as we often hear it said, is a contradictory one.

He who only obeys in reasonable cases does not obey, for he becomes himself then the judge of what is reasonable and what is not. If he does any thing suitable because he judges it to be so, he acts according to his own conviction, and not from obedience. Whether this obedience which they exact be reasonable or not, it is for the parents to answer for it before their own consciences; but they should not allow their children to sit in judgment over them. But, it may be asked, suppose the parents command their children to do an immoral thing? I answer: Either the immorality of it is only discovered after a laborious investigation, or it is obvious.

In the first case, there can be no difficulty; for the obedient child does not suspect his parents capable of commanding him to do any wrong. In the second, the very basis of obedience--namely, the belief in the superior morality of the parents--is destroyed; and then a prolonged obedience would be contrary to duty. The same when the immorality or the shame of the parents is self-evident in the children's eyes. Obedience then ceases because education through the parents becomes impossible.

The second question is: How long does the duty of obedience last? The answer to this is: Obedience, in the first place, is only exacted in view of education; and education is a means to an end; that end being the utilization of the child's powers for some reasonable purpose, under whatever circ.u.mstances or through whatever mode. When that end has been attained, the child cannot judge: it is for the parents to decide. Now two cases are possible here:

One is where the father himself declares the end attained and leaves his children free to act according to their own will and judgment.

The other is where a certain result is sufficient to declare the end attained. The State is in this instance a competent outside judge. For example, if the State entrusts an office to a son, it declares the latter's education completed; the judgment of the State is the parents'

judicial bond: they must submit to it without appeal: it binds them also morally, and they must submit to it from a sense of duty.

There is finally a third case: this is where parental education is no longer possible, as, for example, on the marriage of the children. The daughter then gives herself to her husband and becomes subject to his will: she can therefore no longer depend upon her parents' will. The son a.s.sumes the care of his wife, conformably to her wishes; he can therefore no longer be guided by others' wishes, not even by those of his parents.

These three cases do not yet exhaust the question; for we may suppose a fourth: the one where the children are not called to a function, by the State; when they do not marry, and when the parents are nevertheless unwilling to relax their authority, seemingly wishing to uphold the obedience of early childhood. In this case, the parents evidently overstep their rights; for it is obvious that at a given time man must belong to himself. This time has been fixed by the State; which determines when one attains to his majority. In granting to a son the free disposal of his property, the liberty to make contracts, to traffic, the right of suffrage, the right to marry, etc., the State puts an end to paternal authority as an authority armed with restraint, yet certainly not as a moral authority, for in this respect it is indelible. The son having become a person, and being in his turn invested with moral responsibility, may lay obedience aside, but he does not with this lay aside the respect, grat.i.tude, and affection he owes his parents.

Even after the emanc.i.p.ation of the children, there still exists between them and their parents a moral tie.

Parents, especially if they have been, as we suppose, the educators of their children, know their inner being, their disposition: they have seen it develop under their eyes; they have formed it. They therefore know it better than the children themselves can know it. They consequently continue to be their best advisers. There is then left to parents a special duty, namely, that of advising their children, and on the part of the children a correlative duty, that of listening attentively to the advice of their parents, and of considering it carefully. Thus do parents retain their care and solicitude for their children, and the children the duty of respect.

These duties of respect and grat.i.tude toward parents have been admirably expressed by the ancient writers.

Plato, after speaking of the honor which should be given to the G.o.ds, says: "Next comes the honor of living parents, to whom, as is meet, we have to pay the first and greatest and oldest of all debts, considering that all which a man has belongs to those who gave him birth and brought him up, and that he must do all that he can to minister to them: first, in his property; secondly, in his person; and thirdly, in his soul; paying the debts due to them for the care and travail which they bestowed upon him of old, in the days of his infancy, and which he is now to pay back to them when they are old and in the extremity of their need. And all his life long he ought never to utter, or to have uttered, an unbecoming word to them; for all light and winged words he will have to give an account; Nemesis, the messenger of justice, is appointed to watch over them. And we ought to yield to our parents when they are angry, and let them satisfy their feelings in word or deed, considering that, when a father thinks that he has been wronged by his son, he may be expected to be very angry."[83]

Xenophon, likewise, relates to us an admirable exhortation of Socrates to his oldest son Lamprocles, on filial piety. It is well known that the wife of Socrates, Xantippe, was noted for her crabbed disposition, which often sorely tried Socrates' patience. No doubt this was the case with the sons also; but, less patient than their father, they yielded sometimes to their anger. Socrates recalls Lamprocles to his duty as a son, enumerating to him all that mothers have to endure for their children:

"The woman receives and bears the burden, oppressing and endangering her life, and imparting a portion of the nutriment with which she is herself supported; and at length, after bearing it the full time, and bringing it forth with great pain, she suckles and cherishes it, though she has received no previous benefit from it, nor does the infant know by whom it is tended, nor is it able to signify what it wants, but she, conjecturing what will nourish and please it, tries to satisfy its calls, and feeds it for a long time, both night and day, submitting to the trouble, and not knowing what return she will receive for it. Nor does it satisfy the parents merely to feed their offspring, but as soon as the children appear capable of learning any thing, they teach them whatever they know that may be of use for their conduct in life; and whenever they consider another more capable of communicating than themselves, they send their sons to him at their own expense, and take care to adopt every course that their children may be as much improved as possible."

Upon this the young man said: "But, even if she has done all this, no one, a.s.suredly, could endure her ill-humor."

"And do you reflect," returned Socrates, "how much grievous trouble you have given her by your peevishness, by voice and by action, in the day and in the night, and how much anxiety you have caused her when you were ill?... Or do you suppose your mother meditates evil toward you?" "No, indeed," said Lamprocles, "that I do not suppose." "Do you then say that this mother," rejoined Socrates, "who is so benevolent to you, who, when you are ill, takes care of you, to the utmost of her power, that you may recover your health, and who, besides, entreats the G.o.ds for many blessings on your head, is a harsh mother? Oh, my son, if you are wise, you will entreat the G.o.ds to pardon you if you have been wanting in respect toward your mother, lest, regarding you as an ungrateful person, they should be disinclined to do you good; and you will have regard, also, to the opinion of men, lest, observing you to be neglectful of your parents, they should all contemn you, and you should then be found dest.i.tute of friends; for if men surmise that you are ungrateful toward your parents, no one will believe that if he does you a kindness he will meet with grat.i.tude in return."[84]

Although children, when of age, belong legally to themselves, there are yet two serious circ.u.mstances, where they should exhaust all the forms of respect and submission before they make a harsh use of the rights which the law grants them: these are marriage, and the choice of a profession.

In the first case, both the law and morality require the consent of the parents; and it is only as a last extremity, and after three respectful appeals to them, that proceedings may go on. Here again, although the law permits it, it may be said that, except in extreme and exceptional cases, it is always better not to proceed, but wait till some change of circ.u.mstances brings about a change in the mind of the parents. In fact, the parents' resistance in these cases is generally in the interest of the children; they wish to protect them against the impulses of their pa.s.sions. They have, besides, a sort of right to interdict the admission into the family and the taking of its name to any one that might be unworthy of these favors.

The obligation not to marry without the consent of the parents (except in extreme cases) does not carry with it the obligation of marrying against one's will in order to obey them. This would be the violation of a duty toward others; you have no right to jeopardize the happiness of a third party, that you might on your side practice the duty of obedience. To marry with repugnance is contrary to duty, for it is entering into the bonds of an unhappy union.

As to the choice of a profession, the obligation to conform to the desires and the will of the parents is less strict than in marriage; and it is obvious that the first, the stricter duty here, is to choose the profession one is best fitted for. But as there is here also, on the side of the children, much inexperience (as among the various professions there are some very difficult, even dangerous ones, where success is often very rare, and which for this reason are all the more tempting), it is clear that in such a case it is the children's duty, except where there is an irresistible proclivity, to allow themselves to be guided by a more enlightened and more prudent experience. At any rate, the strict duty is to confer with the parents, consult their superior wisdom, and delay as much as possible a final resolve. These principles once set down, it is certain that, on the other hand, one should not, to obey one's parents, follow a profession one felt no capacity for whatsoever. There the duties toward society and toward one's self take precedence of the family duties.

=128. Fraternal duties.=--Socrates, who has spoken so well of the duties of husbands and wives and the duties of children, shall here again be our guide as to the duties of brothers and sisters. Two brothers, Chaesephon and Chaesecrates, did not live well together. Socrates tried to reconcile them with each other by an exhortation, of which the following gives the princ.i.p.al points:[85]

1. Brothers are better than riches; for they are things endowed with reason, whilst wealth is but a senseless thing; brothers are a protection; riches, on the contrary, need protection.

2. One had rather live with fellow-citizens than live alone; how much more would one not rather live with brothers.

3. Is not the being born of the same parents, the having been brought up together, very strong reasons to love one another? Even among brutes a certain affection springs up between those that are raised together.

4. Even though our brothers be of dispositions difficult to live with, we should make advances to bring them nearer to us.

5. It is for the youngest to make advances to the oldest.

A modern moralist, Silvio Pellico,[86] expresses most delicately the duties of brothers and sisters in their intercourse with each other:

"To practice properly, in one's relations with men, the divine science of charity, one must have learned it at home. What ineffable sweetness is there in the thought: 'We are the children of the same mother!...' If you wish to be a good brother, beware of selfishness. Let each of your brothers, each of your sisters, see that their interests are as dear to you as your own. If one of them commits a fault, be indulgent to it.

Rejoice over their virtues; imitate them."

"The familiarity of the fireside should never make you forget to be courteous toward your brothers.

"Be still more courteous toward your sisters. Their s.e.x is endowed with a powerful attraction; it is a divine gift which they use to make the house pleasant and cheerful. You will find in your sisters the delicious charm of womanly virtues; and since nature has made them more feeble and sensitive than you, be attentive to them in their troubles, console them, and do not cause them any unnecessary pain.

"Those who contract the habit of being ill-natured and rude toward their brothers and sisters, are rude and ill-natured toward everybody else. If the home-intercourse is tender and true, man will experience in his other social relations the same need of esteem and n.o.ble affections."

=129. Duties of masters toward their servants.=--One of the most important functions of home administration, is the management of domestics. It comprises two things: _choice_ and _direction_. It is well known how important in a household the choice of servants is; as it is they who attend to the marketing and pay the bills, so that the finances of the house are, to some extent, in their hands.[87] But this is but one of the lesser features of the influence of servants in a household; the most serious one is their familiar intercourse with the children; and it is there especially that it becomes necessary to make sure of their fidelity and honesty. Yet to make a careful and successful choice is of no use, if one is ignorant of the art of directing and governing, which consists in a just medium between too much lenity and too much severity. The master of the house should, of course, always have his eyes open, but he should also know that no human being learns to do things well, if he is not allowed to act with some sort of freedom.

_Surveillance_ and _confidence_ are the two principles of a wise domestic government. Without the first, one is apt to be cheated; without the second, one cheats one's self in depriving the servant of the most energetic elements of human will, responsibility and honor.[88]

The master, again, should avoid being violent and brutal toward his servants. He should require of them all that is just, yet without pushing his requirements to the point of persecution. Many persons deprive themselves of good servants, because they cannot patiently bear with the inevitable defects inherent in human nature.

On the other hand, the servant owes his master: 1, an absolute honesty. As it is the servants who do the marketing and pay the bills, they have the funds of the family in their hands. The more one is obliged to trust them the more are they bound to restrain themselves from the slightest act of dishonesty. 2. They owe obedience and exactness in the duties pertaining to their service. 3. They should, as much as possible, attach themselves to the persons whose service they have entered; the longer they stay with them, the more will they be considered as part of the family, and the greater will be their right to the regard and affection due to age and fidelity.

=130. Duties of children toward servants.=--It is not only the master and mistress of the house that have duties to fulfill toward servants, but the children also. The latter are, in general, too much disposed to treat servants as instruments of their wishes and the playthings of their caprices. Although slavery is no longer allowed, some children, if let alone, would very soon re-establish it for their own benefit. To command, insult, beat, are the not uncommon modes of procedure with children that are left entirely free in their relations with inferiors. The latter, on the other hand, do not hesitate to employ force, in the absence of the masters, and pa.s.s readily from slavery to tyranny. All such conduct is reprehensible. The servant should never be allowed to strike; but he should himself not be struck or insulted. In childhood, it is for the parents to oversee the relations between their servants and children.

Later it is for the children themselves, when they have reached the age of reason, to know that they must not treat servants like brutes. The same observations may be applied to workmen, in circ.u.mstances where workmen are in some respect in the service of the family.

Although servants are no longer slaves, nor even serfs, one may still, modifying its meaning, quote Seneca's admirable protestation against slavery: "They are slaves! rather say they are men! They are slaves! Not any more than thou! He whom thou callest a slave, was born of the same seed as thyself; he enjoys the same sky, breathes the same air, lives and dies the same as thou." Seneca closes this eloquent apostrophe with a maxim recalling the Gospel: "Live with thy inferiors, as thou wouldst thy superior should live with thee."

As to the duties of servants to their masters, they belong to the cla.s.s of professional duties which we shall take up further on (Chap. XIII.).

CHAPTER XI.

DUTIES TOWARD ONE'S SELF--DUTIES RELATIVE TO THE BODY.

SUMMARY.

=Have we duties toward ourselves?=--The person of a man should not only be sacred to others, it also should be so to himself.

Even though man ceased to be in any relation with other men (as, for example, in a desert island), he would still have duties to perform.

=The duty of self-preservation.--Suicide.=--Arguments of Rousseau for and against suicide.

The different standpoints from which one may condemn suicide: 1, either as contrary to the duties toward men; 2, or to the duties toward G.o.d; 3, or, lastly, to the duties toward ourselves.

Kant's fundamental argument against suicide:

"Man cannot abdicate his personality as long as he has duties to perform, which is the same as to say, as long as he lives."

Case of conscience.--Not to confound suicide with self-sacrifice.

Of voluntary mutilations and of the duty to avoid injuring one's health. That this duty should be understood in a wide sense, and not as an encouragement to constant preoccupation about the condition of one's body.