Edward Hoare, M.A Part 2

"I most earnestly hope that I may be able to a.s.sist him, and, what is far more, that he may have that far better a.s.sistance which can alone be all-sufficient... . I have had a most happy vacation, and cannot say how I have valued it. I only trust that I may be able to repay a hundredth part of your and my father's kindness to me by fraternal affection towards Joe. My motto with regard to him is-

"'Men must be taught as if you taught them not, And things unknown proposed as things forgot.'"

During the month of September, in the year before this, his elder brother Samuel was married to Miss Catherine Hankinson. {27} There was a warm attachment between the brothers. Edward often writes in terms of great admiration of "Sam," and now the new sister was received with equal affection into his heart. It was a feeling which grew and strengthened to the last day of his life, and was returned by her, being specially manifested in the tender care which she bestowed upon his motherless children more than thirty years afterwards. This, however, is antic.i.p.ating, and it is suggested only by a letter from Cambridge dated November 9th, 1832, full of delight-

"at the joyful news of the week. I am highly proud of my new avuncular honours. I begin to feel quite a strong affection to my new niece, which I never expected to do, at all events till I had seen her!"

The same letter writes thankfully about the interest which he had been able to arouse in the University in connection with the British and Foreign Bible Society.

There had been one collector in Cambridge previously, but young h.o.a.re set to work and had the gratification of sending in more than a hundred guineas, fifty of which came from Trinity. He says, "I only hope that this success will encourage us to work hard during the next year." His interest in the Society never waned, and it did well many years afterwards in making him one of its Vice-Presidents.

We have an insight into a College Sunday in one of his letters at this time:-

"We have had a delightful Sunday, and a most edifying sermon on the Conversion of St. Paul. After Hall I had a large party in my rooms, and we read one of Blunt's Lectures on St. Paul. Our party after Hall has become rather a burden to me, it has grown so very large, as I have invited any persons who I thought would come and employ their time better than elsewhere; and now I feel that it is an opportunity which ought to be employed to good purpose, and I don't know exactly how to go to work to do so."

In a letter written early in 1833 he refers to all the dignities of the third year upon his head, and his desire to use them aright; it will probably be the opinion of any who read the extracts above quoted that the young collegian rose n.o.bly to the ideal which he had set before him.

There are those now living who can testify to the rich harvest of good which sprang up in his generation from the seed of manly Christian influence so freely scattered round him in those undergraduate days. Yet a crisis in his life was approaching, which we must leave to the next chapter to describe.

CHAPTER III _RELIGIOUS STATE_, _AND EXAMINATION FOR DEGREE_

A few months after Edward h.o.a.re took up his residence at Cambridge he commenced to keep a journal, which practice he continued for more than thirty years. Into its pages he poured his thoughts and communings with G.o.d, and, as he says in different parts of the journal, he did so that, looking back from time to time, his faith and love might be increased by noticing the way in which G.o.d had led him.

At the same time he was determined that there should be no repet.i.tion in his case of the grievous mistake which has been made by some well-meaning biographers; over and over again therefore he has inscribed upon the top of a page the word "Private"; and at the end of the first volume, written at a time when he thought that he was very near his end, he distinctly directs that his journal is not to be published. His wish has been carefully observed; no one has read the journal except the editor of his Autobiography, and he only to get a clearer view of the character which he wishes to place before the reader, with the one object laid down in the closing words of the volume referred to-"Let nothing be done with it or said about it except to extol the goodness of G.o.d by the weakness of the creature."

It is evident from a perusal of the journal at this time that he was dissatisfied with his spiritual state, and a letter to his mother, dated July 21st, 1833, gives such a particular account of the remarkable crisis through which he pa.s.sed that it is here given in full:-

"You have often expressed a wish that I would write you a full and intimate letter about my own religious feelings, but I have not done so hitherto, because I lament to say they were too feeble to authorise any expression, but I have had a time of very deep interest since my return, and I do not like to withhold it from you.

"When I arrived at home, I ought to have been smarting with a guilty conscience, but I had succeeded in stifling things, and though I cannot say I felt irreligious, I was far from a Christian walk with G.o.d. On Sunday morning Dr. Chalmers preached his sermon upon the enjoyment and preparation for heaven, and told us that the fruition of heaven was already begun in the Christian's mind by the work of sanctification and regeneration in his heart. I began to think how this work was going on with me, but I found it so difficult to bring my thoughts to bear upon the subject that I carried the process of examination very little way, but that little brought a whole array of irreligion before me. I felt that my heart was not right with G.o.d, that I had not that love towards the Saviour, nor that detestation of sin, which it appeared to me that any one must feel who had in truth partic.i.p.ated in the Christian covenant, and I was surprised and horror-struck at finding that I had been guilty, not only of neglect, but of some actual violations of G.o.d's law. Still, with all this I could not bring my mind to dwell upon its own state, and my serious thoughts were constantly supplanted by others of a trivial nature. I tried to go and pray as an offending sinner, but I could not collect my thoughts, and though I daily said my prayers they were heartless and cold, and did not at all reach the deep sensation of need which I every now and then experienced, and I felt that I was making no progress, though I was growing very anxious. Every now and then my faith almost gave way, and I thought that I had resisted the Spirit so long that G.o.d had taken it from me. Then again I thought of some pa.s.sages such as these: 'It is the Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom of life,' and those beautiful verses in the third of St.

John, ver. 14; and I heard Dr. Chalmers' morning reading upon the generality of the Gospel offers, when he dwelt upon the words 'whosoever' and 'every one,' and I thought too upon the great Sacrifice that had been made for sinners, and I had times of alternating hope and despondency, but I was never happy because I found I could not pray with my whole heart in faith, and I did not think I was under the influence of the Holy Ghost. This went on till Sunday evening. I then heard an excellent sermon from Mr. Fisk about the enthusiasm which a Christian must feel towards G.o.d and the Saviour, and I felt that the state of my own heart differed widely from this description. I came home very unhappy, but even then I could not get rid of wandering thoughts, by which I was so discouraged that I began to think that G.o.d had cast me off. Then I thought of the promises, especially 'Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest'; but then I felt that I could not number myself with them, for if really burdened with sin I could think of nothing else. I walked about my room for a long time and I knew not what to do, for my faith was so weak that I felt a fear of approaching G.o.d. At last, however, I felt that I could offer a silent prayer to Him to teach me to pray, and He heard me. I knelt down and felt as if a thick cloud had been removed from me, and I was enabled to approach G.o.d and entreat Him to pardon and to sanctify me. Oh, dear mother! I cannot describe to you the joy I experienced when I felt that G.o.d had vouchsafed once more to hear me.

"I afterwards went and told Goulburn all that I had been going through, and was cruel enough to wake him up in the midst of his night's rest. He satisfied me very much upon the generality of the promises, and I went to bed full of joy and thankfulness. The next evening we met together and read the '1st Ephesians,' and he offered up a most satisfactory prayer that the Holy Spirit might manifest Himself in our hearts, and I am most thankful to say I do believe his prayer has been heard. We have continued to read and pray together every evening, and I have found it perfectly invaluable, and I trust, dearest mother, I have been able to cast the whole burden of sin upon the Cross. I feel still, however, that my heart is corrupt before G.o.d, and I feel a want of devotion towards Him, but I can pray that I may be strengthened with might in the inner man, and I know I shall be heard. Oh how unspeakable is the love of G.o.d! Oh may Christ dwell in my heart by faith, that I, being rooted and grounded in Him, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the length and depth and breadth and height, and to know the love of Christ that pa.s.seth knowledge! I need not say that this letter is perfectly private. I should, however, have no objection to my father or Elizabeth seeing it if they wish. I will include too Sam and Catherine, but I don't wish anybody to be told about it.

"Believe me to be "Your most affectionate and grateful Son, "EDWARD h.o.a.rE."

Just at the same time in his journal he chooses as his "text for life"

St. Peter's words-"Casting all your care upon Him, for He careth for you." But a great sorrow was at hand. Shortly after those lines were written his eldest brother Samuel was struck down by a haemorrhage, and in less than three months he had pa.s.sed away peacefully. This was a sore trial to Edward, and his letters abound with messages of deepest sympathy with his brother and the young wife soon to be left a widow. The words which he writes to his mother read like the experience of an advanced Christian, and the firm trust inspired by the "text for life" breathes through them all. The examination for his degree was rapidly approaching, so that study could not be neglected. This year the reading party went to Derbyshire, and the letters thence give delightful accounts of visits to the Peak, etc., but the coming cloud casts its shadow across all his thoughts; yet even so faith triumphs, and pa.s.sages like the following, in a letter to his father, occur from time to time:-

"Oh what a thing it is to think that the Peace which can never be taken away is not only bestowed upon you and upon him here, but that if it should please G.o.d to realise our fears, it will soon be bestowed upon him in perfection above! Sometimes when I think of his prospects, as far as he is concerned, I can scarcely wish him well again, and, if it were not for all of you, could almost desire to go with him."

On Sunday, October 23rd, 1833, the beloved brother pa.s.sed away, and the journal records that Gurney and Edward sat beside him all through the night and to the end. Early in November Edward h.o.a.re was back at Cambridge. His first letter is full of sympathetic thoughts concerning the bereaved ones at home, and it is not until the last paragraph that there is any mention of his work; this, however, is particularly interesting from one point of view. The great anti-slavery struggle was nearing its climax; and, considering the prominent part which Sir Fowell Buxton took in the movement, it was not remarkable that his nephew should have thrown himself warmly into it. Accordingly we read:-

"I believe you were interested in my declamation. I have not got the prize, but they put me up on the paper as having made a very good one. The other three men, however, made better. I believe if I had not been so hot about slavery I might have got the prize, for at the time they expressed their great dissatisfaction at what I said about it."

Even as a young man he was not afraid to champion a cause which was unpopular with some who were in authority.

As the year draws near its close he describes his position as one of "overwrought excitement" when his mind dwells upon the approaching examination, which gives way to "a state of despondency" as a single thought of his sad home pa.s.ses before him. Either this depression or the natural humility of his character makes him now "expect to take a fair second-rate degree"; when within a fortnight of the examination his mind becomes calmer, and he is enabled to make a good forecast of the result.

"I have good reason to hope," he writes, "for a place upon which I shall look back with pleasure and gratification all my life... . My own desire is to get into the first six wranglers, and if I accomplish that I shall be delighted... . I am not sanguine, but neither am I anxious.

I desire to leave it altogether in the full a.s.surance that I shall get the place which is best for me, whatever that place may be."

Surely the influence of the "text for life" is visible here! And those who knew him in later years will remember that this was his leading characteristic to the close of his life, making every preparation, using every endeavour, and then leaving the issue tranquilly in the hands of Him who "careth for you."

Christmas Day was spent with his Uncle and Aunt Gurney, and two or three days at the beginning of the New Year given to his home, to turn away his mind entirely from mathematics for the last day or two before his examination. Then two letters appear in the carefully preserved bundle, one to his mother at Hampstead:-

"I have not time to write much, but I have the unspeakable pleasure of telling you that I am 5th Wrangler and Robert Pryor 4th. I cannot say how thankful and happy I feel about it."

Written hastily, and in suppressed excitement, the date at the head of the letter-"December 17th, 1833"-is wrong both in the month and year (as the postmark testifies). The same day he writes more fully to his father in London; to this letter there is no date at all. Never surely in all his life did he make either of these mistakes again! (The postmark on this is the same as on the former letter, viz. January 17th, 1834.)

"I have had a hard fight to-day in the bracket, the result of which is that I am 5th Wrangler, and Pryor 4th. I cannot say what unqualified pleasure and grat.i.tude I feel at this result of my College labours, and the pleasure is not a little increased at Robert being the person to beat me; there was no person in the examination to whom I would so willingly yield a place. I have had a hard fight to-day in the brackets. I was well aware, from the failure I made in two of the problem papers and the first cla.s.s, that I was hard-run by some of the men in the bracket, so that I felt rather dismayed at finding myself with a good prospect of being 8th, whereas 6th had been my ambition. However, I set to work steadily and well, and, as I have since heard, gained three places, for I began at the bottom of the bracket. Peac.o.c.k is very anxious that I should go in for the Smith's prize, as most men of my standing generally go through that ceremony. The list of our bracket is:-

Pryor h.o.a.re Main Bullock Bates."

Robert Pryor, his "twin cousin," as he used to be called, was Edward h.o.a.re's playmate from his earliest years. Educated together, together they entered the University, and came out, as we have seen, side by side in the list of wranglers. Pryor went in for the scholarship, but failed, and in a letter at the time his successful cousin writes of him as "behaving n.o.bly," thinking nothing of his failure, and only setting to work twice as resolutely as before, with the happy result above noted.

Here follow letters of congratulation from the relatives with whom he spent the Christmas before his examination. The event to which they refer may well terminate a chapter of this book, as it certainly was the close of an important chapter in his life.

Congratulatory letter on his success at Cambridge from J. J. Gurney:-

"NORWICH, _June_ 18_th_, 1834.

"DEAREST EDWARD,-I think it would be very flat of me not to acknowledge the receipt of thy letter. I understand from Geo.

Peac.o.c.k's letter to Hudson that the examination took an unfortunate turn for thee, or thou wouldst have been still higher; however, I am sure thou art quite high enough-and we have nothing to do but warmly to congratulate thee on thy prowess and well-earned honours.

Certainly I for one should withhold all congratulation, did I not feel a.s.sured that thou hast aboard thy vessel plenty of good ballast in the shape of humility, simplicity, and Christian principle.

Therein I do and will rejoice, more than in the flag of victory. I should now advise a polite treatment of thyself-a journey-a frolic-a good long holiday, yet not absolute idleness, which is good for n.o.body.

"I am thy truly affectionate Uncle, "J. J. GURNEY.

"My congratulations and kind regards to Rob. Pryor. I told thy mother that I was ready to be 50 towards thy expenses, shouldst thou take a journey-to be had at Overend's any day, on my account."

Congratulatory letter from his aunt:-

"UPTON, 1834,

"I must, my dear Edward, add one line of expression about my pleasure in hearing of thy success; my only fear for thee seems to be lest thou mayst not feel humble enough, and continue to remember from whom thou gained thy excellent talents and powers of perseverance. To Him thou art, I know, desirous of dedicating them. I am writing by my dear John, who unites with us in our feeling for thee, and begs to unite in love to thee; thou wilt, I am sure, have felt for him in this trying relapse, but we desire to be enabled to believe it is permitted in mercy, and the favourable recovery from the operation is very cheering to us. Thy uncle with Sarah and Prise dined at Hampstead yesterday; the dear circle there as well as one could expect.

"Thy very affectionate Aunt, "E. GURNEY."

Letter of congratulation from his cousin:-

"UPTON, 1834.

"MY DEAR EDWARD,-We are all so much interested and delighted at hearing of thy capital success, that a few lines must go to tell thee how warmly we congratulate thee, and how heartily we rejoice in it; it was most kind of thee to write and let us know of the result of the battle; we were longing to hear, the uncertainty of yesterday's report being so disappointing. It is pleasant to hear of Robert Pryor's doing so n.o.bly, though I must confess my cousinly feelings would have been quite as well satisfied if you had changed places.

Kitty desired me to give her love most particularly, and to tell thee she had set off directly to tell the Frys and the Listers about thee.

Thou wilt have heard of the great anxiety we have gone through lately on dear John's account; we have now the great comfort and mercy of seeing him recovering as well as possible from this attack. The horses are at the door for a ride, and all the party waiting for me, so I must say no more.