Ebrietatis Encomium Part 22

Herac.l.i.te toujours etoit En pleurs a ce que dit l'histoire, Mais ce que le vin lui sortoit Par les yeux a force de boire.

Par ce remede seul il guerissoit sa rate Comme ordonne Hypocrate, Qui dit, &c.

VIII.

Epicure sans contredit, De bons buveurs est le vrai pere, Et sa morale nous induit Au plaisir, a la bonne chere.

En vain l'homme ici bas d'un autre bien se flatte; Suivons donc Hypocrate, Qui dit, &c.

IX.

Esope quelque fois la nuit, De complot avec la servante, Chalumoit sans faire de bruit Les tonneaux de son maitre Xante.

Il en eut mis dix pots sous sa grosse omoplate, Il suivit Hypocrate, Qui dit, &c.

X.

Galen, ce fameux docteur En traittant du jus de la vigne, Dit qu'il faut defendre le cur Contre la qualite maligne Qui trouble nos humeurs, les altere et les gate Et rapporte Hypocrate, Qui dit, &c.

THE TIPLING PHILOSOPHERS.

I.

Diogenes, surly and proud, Who snarl'd at the Macedon youth, Delighted in wine that was good, Because in good wine there is truth; But growing as poor as a Job, Unable to purchase a flask, He chose for his mansion a tub, And liv'd by the scent of the cask, &c.

II.

Herac.l.i.tus ne'er would deny, To tipple and cherish his heart, And when he was maudlin he'd cry, Because he had empty'd his quart: Tho' some are so foolish to think He wept at men's folly and vice, 'Twas only his fashion to drink Till the liquor flow'd out of his eyes.

III.

Democritus always was glad Of a b.u.mper to cheer up his soul, And would laugh like a man that was mad, When over a good flowing bowl.

As long as his cellar was stor'd, The liquor he'd merrily quaff, And when he was drunk as a lord At those that were sober he'd laugh.

IV.

Copernicus too like the rest, Believ'd there was wisdom in wine, And thought that a cup of the best Made reason the better to shine.

With wine he'd replenish his veins, And make his philosophy reel, Then fancy'd the world, like his brains, Turn'd round like a chariot wheel.

V.

Aristotle, that master of arts, Had been but a dunce without wine, And what we ascribe to his parts, Is due to the juice of the vine.

His belly most writers agree, Was as big as a watering-trough, He therefore leap'd into the sea, Because he'd have liquor enough.

VI.

Old Plato, that learned divine, He fondly to wisdom was p.r.o.ne, But had it not been for good wine, His merits had never been known; By wine we are generous made, It furnishes fancy with wings, Without it we ne'er shou'd have had Philosophers, poets, or kings.

Thirdly and lastly, I wish in Chap. XXIII. in your answer to the objection, "That one cannot trust a man that gets drunk," you had been pleased to have taken notice of the taciturnity and continency of the right worshipful the free masons in this respect. For though otherwise they are _free_ enough of speech, yet I do a.s.sure you, as to secrets, though some of them love the creature very heartily, and carouse abundantly, yet has it never been known, though never so fuddled, (for free masons will get fuddled,) that they ever discovered any of their secrets. This is irresistible, irrefragable, irrefutable, or if you will, to speak (_norunt dialectici_) _in stylo infinito_, non-resistible, non-refragable, and non-refutable, and, indeed, is my _Argumentum palmare Scotistic.u.m_.

But, and Fourthly also, and Finally, you will give me leave to remark to you, That in relation to St. Boniface's cup, which you take notice of in Chap. XI. p. 68, l. 13, I do a.s.sure you, sir, the practice was some years ago, to my certain knowledge, much in vogue, (and, as I am credibly informed, is still wonderfully catholic,) and, by the bye, take the following relation.

In the beginning of the last wars, when I was very young, I had the misfortune to be prisoner in Luxembourg, and not too civilly treated by the governor, the morose Count Dautel. Close confinement, (though in the postmaster's house,) with the unusual smell of the stoves, (for it was in the cold month of March,) made me very ill, and worse, in all probability, should have been, had I not obtained the liberty of the town, which, after many fruitless solicitations, I despaired, from the ill-natured governor, nor should ever have had, were it not by the pressing instance of Father Cripps, a German Franciscan friar, of the convent of Luxembourg, whom they called there Heer[1] Cripps, being confessor to the governor, and having been once sent on a message of moment from him to the king of Spain, Philip the Fifth, now reigning.

This Father was really a good man, and a man of honour; him I gained by the good-nature of the postmaster, whose son was then in his noviceship, in the noviciate of their Order at Ulflingen. I need not tell you, that by noviceship is meant that year of probation, which those who have a mind to enter into any religious order in the church of Rome, must pa.s.s through, before they can be professed, or take their vows. This you, who have been abroad, must know as well as I.

This good father, with much ado, obtained what I desired from the governor, who he said was, _h.o.m.o mirabilis in negotiis suis_, which, by the sequel of his discourse, I understood signified, a very strange man in his affairs. Grat.i.tude obliged me to invite this reverend father to a gla.s.s of Rhenish, the wine of the country, which, he frankly accepted of in the afternoon, and, indeed, drank very plentifully, more Germanorum, as you have described. But though he would drink largely as well as his companion, yet I must own, that in none of the many merry bouts we had together (for he visited me very often afterwards, as I did him, I never saw him so far advanced as to lose his reason) he never failed a large gla.s.s brimful to St. Boniface, which he drank to the pious memory of the good Father, _ad piam memoriam boni patris_, and sometimes only to the good Father, _ad bonum patrem_. I found afterwards the same laudable custom of St. Boniface's cup in the Low Countries, France and Italy, &c.

amongst the religious.

And now, before I subscribe myself,

Sir,

Your most obedient, &c.

give me leave to tell you, that the French religious, who do not speak much Latin, drink healths in their own language. But I was surprised, when I heard in a certain monastery every one of the fathers drink a full gla.s.s to each other in these words, "a b.u.mper," as I thought. I am obliged to your reverence (reverend father, said I to the procurator, who sat next me, and drank to me in the same words) in drinking in our country language, you do me a great deal of honour. It may be your country phrase, said the prior to me, very gravely, for what I know; your countrymen make use of a great many of our words, but the thing itself, let the word (or _vox significans_) be what it will, the thing (or _res significata_) is very laudable, and every one will practise, who has any respect for the sacred see, holy church, and the good of his own soul. Did you never hear of the indulgences that the good father, holy pope St. Boniface, has granted to such as drink his cup, and which we have just now piously done? I ask your reverence's pardon, reverend father, said I, I thought we had only been drinking a b.u.mper to one another. _Seulement au bon pere_! replied he a little warmly (for the conversation was all in French, and which word I till then mistook for a b.u.mper.) Why, that is all, said he, _mais_ (continued he) _c'etoit au bon pere_ Saint Boniface. You see, sir, the _double entendre_[2], and that drinking of b.u.mpers, which some precisians have ignorantly called profane, is a practice very orthodox and catholic.

_Heigh Church militant, rare Church militant, dainty Church militant, O_!

_Dub. Dub. Dub. Dub a dub. Dub. Dub._

_Tan. Tan. Tan. Tan. tara rara ra._

_Adieu, mon tres-cher,_ _Votre ami tres-affectione_ _&_ _Valet bien humble_

May 1, 1723, From my Garret in Bandy-legged Walk.

F. SANS-TERRE.

_P.S._ I paid the waterman six-pence.

FINIS.

[Footnote 1: Heer, in High Dutch, is the same as Monsieur in French, and is given to persons of the highest destinction.]

[Footnote 2: The transition from _au bon pere_, which is pure French, to a _b.u.mper_, is very natural, and infinitely more so, than that golden pippin should be derived from Cooper, which was said to be effected, in process of time, after this manner, Cooper, Hooper, Roper, Diaper, Napkin, Pipkin, King Pepin, Golden Pippin.]

_Lately published by C. CHAPPLE, Pall Mall_.

Embellished with an interesting Frontispiece, designed by Craig, and engraved by Rhodes, price 7s. extra boards, small 8vo.

1. THE TEST OF VIRTUE, and other Poems.